Sloppy Zhang

You know who else is successful? Paris Hilton. Ever heard of argumentum ad populum? It's a logical fallacy. Just because a bunch of people agree doesn't mean something is necessarily right. And just because someone has had some measure of success (in fields such as cinema) doesn't mean he or she is particularly amazing, skillful, or inherently better than someone else. It just means that, for whatever reason, they had popular appeal at the time. Plenty of artists died poor, only to be heralded as geniuses in subsequent generations! If the first Star Wars flopped (it didn't get bought by any major companies, because they all thought it would flop, which is why George Lucas still has the rights, and all the money) would people still Lucas was onto something? I dunno, but as you said, it's an opinion thing anyway.

A mix of both. In what ratio? I dunno. You can have a natural talent or a predisposition toward something, and be good at it without trying too terribly hard. You'll be better than a lot of people right off the bat. At the same time, repetition is important too. What makes people like Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods? Well look at their situation from childhood to adulthood- they love what they do and spend all their free time doing it. What does this mean? A combination of interest, a predisposition for the thing, and the willingness to put in countless hours towards a thing. I've been thinking a lot recently about this topic, not just how to get good at something, but to be REALLY good. What makes someone a genius at something? I know kids who were PHENOMENAL artists when they were in elementary school, and just got better and better exponentially all through middle and high school, as well as through college. It's not just that they did it a lot, but they ENJOYED doing it, which is part of what fueled them through long hours of practice. And they had a natural knack for it, a talent and predisposition which kept drawing them back into their practice routine, even if they got frustrated and quit for a while. You ever been in a situation in which you're working on something and you say, "okay, I'm going to take a dinner break in 5 minutes", and then three hours later you realized you never took that break? THAT'S what I'm talking about. THAT is the kind of practice and drive that I think makes someone REALLY great over time. And unfortunately, that not only means tons of practice, and not only wanting to do the practice, but ENJOYING the practice, being drawn to it, and that usually means having a bit of a knack for something, because it's in doing that something that you feel most natural, because it's a part of you. That's not to say that you can't be really really good at something because you set your mind to it even if you have to bite and scrape your way through. Because you can. But part of the effortlessness that I've found in people who I would consider to be abnormally good at something (that I've had the privilege of meeting) comes from an innate talent and natural interest in a thing.

In the manga series "Shaman King", when people die they all return to the great spirit. Except similar souls will congregate around one another- Christian souls will gravitate towards other Christian souls, and they will enter into what their projected form of heaven would be. Meanwhile Buddhists will enter whatever they think they're going into. "Evil" souls will go to "hell", with is really just a massive congregation of evil souls, and since they are full of hate, malice, greed, etc, they will eternally be trapped in a very negative place. All are in the same place, just in different areas. And within that framework, a soul who is strong enough and aware enough can move in between the different realms and see what's going on. Anyway, yeah, just throwing that out there. As for the rapture thing, to my knowledge, it's not just a "death and then afterlife", it's "people will be yanked, body and all, up into the heavens, and other people will still be around". Which DOES make it sound a helluva lot like a UFO. And to the best of my knowledge, the Mormons believe there is only room for a limited number of people to get into heaven (and I guess that'd be the same for a rapture), which makes the UFO theory seem, strangely, even more likely

I find it far more likely that instead he just pulled trite aphorisms and fortune cookie wisdom from a surface level, only-know-the-buzzwords understanding of various eastern religions and philosophies, and it all only seemed new and exciting because it hadn't been heard much before in the west through such wide means as cinema. But I could be wrong and he could be a real master, in which case I'm really missing out. I mean, it's not like I'm saying there's not good stuff in there, because there is... it's just that there's nothing in there which makes me think he knows a lot about anything other than making popular movies. But again... could be wrong.

Haha, half that was from "The Matrix" and "Star Wars", easy picks, huh? Almost too easy to find applicable clips. Still, some good stuff.

I am very confused Perhaps it would be best to format it this way- Myth: something My understanding: something else. Because right now I can't tell if people are posting myths, or their understanding of what's what as they've come to know it

I look at stuff like this the same way I see different spiritual paths- Some of the paths just rely on you suddenly "getting it", and until you "get it", then you don't. But others rely on intermediary steps to work your way through stuff until you finally "get it". Once you "get it", the intermediary steps are of course silly. But until you "get it", you might need those intermediary steps or you might not EVER "get it". I think Non has a LOT that he's gotta work with, and work through. And that may require a lot of intermediary steps, before the "simple wisdom" gets through. Just my opinion.

And what makes you think that? Just 'cause you don't get replies doesn't mean you haven't been heard, it could just mean people don't have anything further to say

But see that's part of the point. Non keeps making threads about "how women behave", as if there were any one set of behaviors which encapsulate "woman". Non keeps talking about the only way guys are able to get with girls, but clearly a whole bunch of guys have a whole bunch of methods and experiences for what is successful and how to get what you want- be it casual sex or long term relationships. There is no universal "man", and there is no universal "woman". So here's another shameless plug for my opinion- It's all why I think that Non needs to seriously consider thinking about getting some professional help, or at least start taking a long, hard, OBJECTIVE look at his life, and trying to figure out where he got some of these ideas, what they have gotten him, where they are taking him, and what he's going to do about it. Because judging from some of his current posts, he is not in a very happy, content, peaceful, complete, whole place right now, and it's affecting his thinking quite dangerously.

This!!!!

Good lord, so many people here are missing the forest because all the trees keep getting in the way! The focus here is so narrowly perceived by looking at female relationships, offspring, yadda yadda. BACK THE FUCK UP! Does ANYONE (male or female) want to hang out with ANYONE (male or female) who is always down, always negative, never willing to open up, never showing any positive emotion, always seems to be sabotaging themselves or others, always looking to criticize, always down and depressing? NO!!!!!! I've said this DOZENS of times in past threads- This whole "nice guy" and "bad boy" dichotomy is BULLSHIT and doesn't last beyond high school! You can be nice, AND still be spontaneous and fun- a plus for guys and girls, ALL relationships, not just romantically! The whole "bad boy, I'm a rebel" lifestyle is NOT SUSTAINABLE and NOT CONDUCIVE to a happy life, nor is it conducive to healthy relationships. Except so many people run around with the stupid notion that, "oh if I'm a nice guy, it means I can't treat a woman like a woman, and I can't act like a man", that the only time a woman can find a man who will act like a man and treat her like a woman is with a guy whose life is FUCKED UP TO BEGIN WITH! (as in, not conducive to a sustainable relationship!) You should plan for the future, but know when to take a couple of calculated risks- this goes back to the spontaneity, know when to let go! You gotta know what she's in the mood for- something romantic and slow, something hard and fast? Again, this goes back to the social cues- you gotta be able to read people, gotta know what to do! There are some people who can't, and they can learn to find ways to do that, but only because they PROPERLY IDENTIFY THE PROBLEM. I see plenty of guys with plenty of ladies who seem to be out of their league, but these guys and girls get along great. WHY? Because the guys aren't so freakin' depressed all the time! Because the guys know who they are, and aren't trying to run away from some of the traits they have externally (all they gotta do is look in the mirror to tell they're overweight and losing hair) and instead show off their internal traits! Sure, you can take SHORTCUTS- spend a ton of money on a girl, and you're guaranteed to get plenty of hot women, gold diggers though they may be. Tell all the right lies, and you'll have everybody convinced your something, but that is NOT long term, and Non, you said in a past thread you do NOT want that!!!!! Non, you gotta take a very, VERY hard look about what it is you REALLY want out of your life. Because even though you say you don't want/need approval from other people, you bemoan the fact that you're never going to get it because society is stacked against you. Let me tell you something Non- plenty of people have dug themselves out of a hole, and have realized that 9 times out of 10, their problems were caused by their own NEGATIVE THOUGHTS. Kate said it best, don't project onto people or situations- which means don't think a chick wants to fuck you just because she's got some revealing clothing, and for the love of God, DON'T think that the woman in the present is going to judge you down because a woman in your past did!!!!!! That is the number one way you can self sabotage yourself. And guess what? Suicide is NOT the answer! It is NOT a fast track way to experience enlightenment (by becoming "empty"). It is NOT a way to escape from your problems- your problems will follow you until you DEAL WITH THEM! Except, if you believe in reincarnation, there is NO GUARANTEE that you'll incarnate into a life in which you are even CAPABLE of dealing with your problems (due to internal or external circumstances). Which means now that you know you've got something to deal with, NOW IS THE BEST TIME TO DO IT! Seriously Non, I WANT you to get better, I WANT you to seriously look at your life and appraise it. I've been in tough situations like this. Others have been too. It's just one step. You gotta move forward. If you never work past it, NOTHING will happen. But you have to WANT to move forward, only YOU can do this for YOURSELF. Not for women. Not for money. Not for popularity. Because YOU want to change YOURSELF, because right now, YOU are NOT HAPPY or CONTENT with your life!

Non, failure is a part of life. It's guaranteed that a man will, EVENTUALLY, at least ONCE, fail utterly and miserably with a woman. He will feel like there is no hope for tomorrow. Chances are also good that this failure will happen MULTIPLE times. So what separates the losers from the winners? The losers quit after they fail. The winners keep trying until they succeed, then they repeat winning strategies for as long as they so choose and as long as the strategies keep them winning. Toss what fails, use what works. Speaking for myself here, if I tell someone to "grow a pair", I mean, realize that failure is part of life, but part of growing up and becoming an adult (in my case, an adult male) means to realize that you either move on, or you don't. Even winners have failed, they just win more than they lose. Losers lose more, and hardly ever win, because they just don't try as often. It's the numbers. A loser might have lost 3 times, won 0, and tried 3 times. A winner might have lost 3 times, won 100 times, and tried 103 times.

Look, Non, seriously, you gotta dig yourself out of this downward spiraling negative cycle. Because that's how it works. You fail with a girl, so you don't try again for a while and when you do, you feel self conscious. So the next time you try, you feel self conscious and awkward, which impacts your performance, so you fail again, which only takes you further down. You gotta do something for your self confidence. You gotta like yourself before others can like you. If all you see is suffering, then that's all you're gonna get. If you see challenges as chances for you to improve yourself, then you are going to get better. But you have to WANT to get better.

Dream interpretation is a complicated thing. Different symbols and things mean different things to different people. You could say roses symbolize love, but what if you were abused as a child by someone with a rose tattoo? A rose might mean abuse and fear for you, rather than love. For interpretation, I tend to examine what someone was thinking/feeling as the events happened, rather than what events happened or what the symbols mean. What do you mean by "protecting the corruption of the school"? Seems to me like, in general, you were facing people who outclassed you in the raw physicality, and someone looking at the situation would say you would lose to them, but you manage to overcome them anyway, and you accomplished a heroic feat. Off hand, I'd say you seek to accomplish some feat in which you are justified in being who you are, rather than being someone else, because you managed to be the "hero" of the day, despite a perceived disadvantage, which in the end, wound up being a strength, and didn't show itself as such until the situation was really very dire, because in every day situations, you seem to be at a disadvantage.

Not really. You could be the best athlete, let's say a college or a pro basketball player, and yeah, it might get you laid, but if you're a total jackass about it, rude to people, uncaring as a person, and domineering in attitude (basically always looking to fight and not allowing people to have their place and enjoy it, two of the things that that guy says successful alphas do), then you aren't going to have any friends, you aren't going to have any women that want to be with you other than to leech off whatever cash or drinks you're willing to send their way. Friendships and relationships (with men and women) will be hollow, and if you are ever in trouble, no one will be there to help you. People might show you respect to your face, but hold not respect for you in their hearts and minds, and will work behind your back against you. Seriously, read the article, give it some thought. People are going to judge. Even if you do not, other people will. How high do you REALLY hold other peoples' judgments? We've had this conversation in past threads, so I'm not going to go on too much about this topic. But you can't have it both ways, Non. If you don't care what people think, and just live your life, fine. But often times, doing that means running into the judgment of other people. If you want to blaze your own trail, you aren't going to have the support of everyone at all times, but if you crave approval from external sources, that means not living exactly how you want to live life.

People gotta make the best out of what they got, and for someone who's gotta work long hours or always on the go, I'd say it's very important to turn something into an act of consciousness meditation. You could say that everything you do could be meditation, which is true, but it's also very much true that you've got to work your way up to that. What is your lunch break like? You can turn that into a mini-meditation, where you observe the changes in your consciousness and your body as you eat, and try to reach a state of calmness and emptiness. Depending on what type of commute and work you have, and your relative experience with meditation, you can definitely turn those into meditation, but maybe not at the beginning stages. I would suggest once more that the type of meditation you should probably be doing is the awareness kind where you are just observing what's going on throughout the day. I had a job in sales once, where as I was meeting people and talking to them, I maintain my awareness of what I was thinking and feeling, where that stuff was coming from, and how I could turn it into a positive. So play around with it a bit.

Since all of your posts seem to circle around the theme of masculinity, I'll throw this out there, been meaning to send it your way for a while, Non: I haven't quoted the full article, here is the link once more: http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com/alphabehavior.htm I suggest you read through it all and think very carefully about what its saying. Obviously the context for his writing is for street violence and self defense. But you can very much make it applicable to women as well, as well as friendships in general. Especially the section about beta male behavior with regards to trying to "posture up", and fill in the shoes of the alpha. No one likes a beta who is overcompensating by being loud and violent. People in general are attracted to "alphas" who are strong, but provide for everyone, take the needs as a group into consideration, and allow other people to enjoy a place in the group.

Except that only training starting from contact is also unrealistic training, as it leaves out aspects of combat which do not start in being in contact. Consider styles like Muay Thai, which rely on striking. Consider your opponent might have a reach advantage on you. Perhaps you try to close in and grapple, but they do not like what it is you are trying to do, so they keep their distance and try to just punch the shit out of you. You've got to be able to stick, sense, and do your tai chi stuff to someone who won't commit with a full body lunge or grapple. Which is why I think...... This is good stuff to do, and I agree with... This point as well.

Huh, interesting. Thanks for the link

This Jose Silva?

Doesn't tell you how, but does talk about the concept, plus it's easy to start wrapping your head around some pretty abstract concepts:

Yeah, all I'm saying, though, is that not a lot of people (that you see publicly during demonstrations, live or on youtube) ever really get to that point. Which is why I think if you see really aggressive push hands, it almost looks like wrestling- since it's sensitivity training, your opponent is resisting, but you still aren't using striking techniques. I think it'd be awesome for these guys doing really intense push hands to branch out, allow strikes, and start off from a position of non-contact, basically, do some rounds of free fighting.

Given that I haven't had access to an in person teacher, my understanding of the sensitivity as typically taught in tai chi suddenly skyrocketed after working out with some Brazilian Jujutsu guys. All out wrestling, in my personal opinion, is a step up from push hands, as you are going full force but are still in contact with the other person. Throw in strikes, allow movement away from the opponent, and start them off separately, and you've stepped up once more into full contact sparring, which is where I think martial arts tai chi training should go.

I do think it was you, actually If you go to a post you want to include, and click "multiquote", then the multiquote button will be darkened. This post will be included in your reply. You select each post you want to quote. Then you've got to go all the way to the main "add reply" button (on the bottom of the page, may be one at the top? But I never use that). When you get to the reply field, all of the multiquoted posts will be included. If you hit "quote" for one post, it will only take you to that quote's reply box. You've gotta hit back on your browser, click multiquote, then hit the main "add reply" button. I wouldn't put vampirism in the same category as mutual exchange. But it's just semantics I suppose. I'm rather careful with whom I share my energy, and I'm not one for just sharing throwing around my energy just because energy exchange can be powerful and transforming. It's very possible that someone is just using that as a front to take energy for themselves, all the while enjoying their little power trip. But maybe I'm just paranoid. Some people are, well, people, physical human beings who are programmed to have sex and reproduce as one means of survival. Sometimes something or someone hits all the right buttons, and you get pretty damn horny. So you either have sex, jack off, or take all that pent up frustration and force it somewhere else. And you know, it can be as simple as that. No need to suddenly step in and say, "masturbation is energetic rape!" because many times, it isn't. It's pent up energy that's looking for a release, and when you push the "release" button, it releases. And a bunch of different things can push the release button. They have no relevance beyond just being there to push, then they leave. You might have a case for a highly obsessive person, and specific target, over a certain period of time. But that's not able to be generalized to the entirety of "masturbation".

I really, really wanted someone to do a judo throw all of a sudden, and just slam the other guy. I love tai chi, and as much as I love meditation and qigong, when it comes to martial arts, I like stuff that's going to work in an all out confrontation. Push hands is a nice exercise and all, but as far as competition.... well, I dunno, to me, it seems like push hands was always a way to start upping your skills and getting ready for real encounters, but I just don't see many tai chi people working up to increasing levels of mobility and intensity. But maybe I just missed something....