9th

I only know some passing info on Superstring theory, and therefore it seems pretty ridiculous. It seems pretty difficult to get an understanding on the idea of "10 dimensions" without some serious mathematical theorization. As an abstract correlation to ancient metaphysics, it seems interesting - as are all the correlations between all kinds of other knowledge in modern physics. Im not sure how much practical experimentation has gone on in this area as well, I just dont follow it that closely, although I did hear that the discovery of a possible Higgs boson at the LHC was considered revolutionary, then just a mistake, then confirmed again, etc. etc. So thats probably a step in the right direction.

thought you were talking about this for a second...

Im not sure what prompted you to ride my comment off into another tangent altogether (although I have some theories). I never said self-inquiry is easy, or that anyone can do it, as long as they are inquisitive. I was trying to indicate a particular predisposition that is more aligned to it than another path, specifically the devotional one. Beyond that, teachers who complain about their students not progressing fast enough are always pretty suspect, IMHO. In other words, maybe the student isn't the problem...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=stUyHG_fUBY I see you, and you see me Watch you blowin' the lines When you're making a scene Oh girl, you've got to know What my head overlooks The senses will show to my heart When it's watching for lies You can't escape my eye Private Eyes They're watching you They see your every move They're watching you Watching you Watching you Watching you You play with words You play with love You can twist it around, baby That ain't enough 'Cuz girl I'm gonna know If you're letting me in Or letting me go Don't lie When you're hurting inside 'Cuz you can't escape my eye.. Private Eyes They're watching you

Cynicism is one of the most striking of all the Hellenistic philosophies.[8] It offered people the possibility of happiness and freedom from suffering in an age of uncertainty. Although there was never an official Cynic doctrine, the fundamental principles of Cynicism can be summarised as follows:[9][10][11] The goal of life is Eudaimonia and mental clarity or lucidity (ἁτυφια) - freedom from τύφος (smoke) which signified ignorance, mindlessness, folly, and conceit. Eudaimonia is achieved by living in accord with Nature as understood by human reason. τύφος (Arrogance) is caused by false judgments of value, which cause negative emotions, unnatural desires, and a vicious character. Eudaimonia or human flourishing, depends on self-sufficiency (αὐτάρκεια), equanimity, arete, love of humanity, parrhesia and indifference to the vicissitudes of life (ἁδιαφορία).[11] One progresses towards flourishing and clarity through ascetic practices (ἄσκησις) which help one become free from influences – such as wealth, fame, or power – that have no value in Nature. Examples include Diogenes' practice of living in a tub and walking barefoot in winter. A Cynic practices shamelessness or impudence (Αναιδεια) and defaces the Nomos of society; the laws, customs, and social conventions which people take for granted. Thus a Cynic has no property and rejects all conventional values of money, fame, power or reputation.[9] A life lived according to nature requires only the bare necessities required for existence, and one can become free by unshackling oneself from any needs which are the result of convention.[12] The Cynics adopted Hercules as their hero, as epitomizing the ideal Cynic.[13] Hercules "was he who brought Cerberus, the hound of Hades, from the underworld, a point of special appeal to the dog-man, Diogenes."[14] According to Lucian, "Cerberus and Cynic are surely related through the dog."[15] The Cynic way of life required continuous training, not just in exercising one's judgments and mental impressions, but a physical training as well: None of this meant that the Cynic would retreat from society. Cynics would in fact live in the full glare of the public's gaze and would be quite indifferent in the face of any insults which might result from their unconventional behaviour.[9] The Cynics are said to have invented the idea of cosmopolitanism: when he was asked where he came from, Diogenes replied that he was "a citizen of the world, (kosmopolitês)."[17] The ideal Cynic would evangelise; as the watchdog of humanity, it was their job to hound people about the error of their ways.[9] The example of the Cynic's life (and the use of the Cynic's biting satire) would dig-up and expose the pretensions which lay at the root of everyday conventions.[9] Although Cynicism concentrated solely on ethics, Cynic philosophy had a big impact on the Hellenistic world, ultimately becoming an important influence for Stoicism. The Stoic Apollodorus writing in the 2nd century BC stated that "Cynicism is the short path to virtue."[18]

Vaya con Dios

He who seeks, let him not cease seeking until he finds; and when he finds; he will be troubled, and when he is troubled; he will be amazed, and he will reign over the totality. - Gospel of Thomas

Mathematical principles can certainly be applied to concepts of "right" and "wrong". Failure to recognize this is a failure of logic at the most basic level possible.

I know you are but what am I!

Huh? It sounds like you are missing the point about dissatisfaction, disinterest and dispassion. You might need a refresher on Buddhism 101: 97The man faithless / beyond conviction ungrateful / knowing the Unmade a burglar / who has severed connections, who's destroyed his chances and conditions who eats vomit / has disgorged expectations: the ultimate person. 98In village or wilds, valley, plateau: that place is delightful where arahants dwell. 99Delightful wilds where the crowds don't delight, those free from passion delight, for they're not searching for sensual pleasures. - Arahantavagga But even beyond this, the amount of discourse on "dispassion" and so on within the Pali Canon is extreme. Have you forgotten the story of the Buddha's journey itself? Dissatisfaction was the singular reason he began looking for answers.

Bodhi (Sanskrit: बोधि; and Pali) in Buddhism is the understanding possessed by a Buddha regarding the true nature of things. It is traditionally translated into English with the word enlightenment and literally means awakened. (The verbal root "budh" means to awaken.) Bodhi is knowledge of the causal mechanism by which beings incarnate into material form and experience suffering. Although its most common usage is in the context of Buddhism, bodhi is also present as a concept in other Indian philosophies and traditions. The term bodhi acquired a variety of meanings and connotations during the development of Buddhist thoughts in the various schools. In early Buddhism, bodhi carried a meaning synonymous to nirvana, using only some different metaphors to describe the insight, which implied the extinction of lobha (greed),dosa (hate) and moha (delusion). In Theravada Buddhism, bodhi and nirvana carry the same meaning, that of being freed from greed, hate and delusion. In Mahayana-thought, bodhi is the realisation of the inseparability of samsara and nirvana,[15] and the unity of subject and object.[15] It is similar to prajna, to realizing the Buddha-nature, realizing sunyata and realizing suchness.[15]Mahayana discerns three forms of bodhi:[16] Arahat - Liberation for oneself;[a] Bodhisattva - Liberation for living beings; Full Buddhahood. Within the various Mahayana-schools exist various further explanations and interpretations.[15] In the Tathagatagarbha and Buddha-nature doctrines bodhi becomes equivalent to the universal, natural and pure state of the mind: Bodhi is the final goal of a Bodhisattva's career [...] Bodhi is pure universal and immediate knowledge, which extends over all time, all universes, all beings and elements, conditioned and unconditioned. It is absolute and identical with Reality and thus it is Tathata. Bodhi is immaculate and non-conceptual, and it, being not an outer object, cannot be understood by discursive thought. It has neither beginning, nor middle nor end and it is indivisible. It is non-dual (advayam) [...] The only possible way to comprehend it is through samadhi by the yogin.[17] According to these doctrines bodhi is always there within one's mind, but requires the defilements to be removed. This vision is expounded in texts such as the Shurangama Sutraand the Uttaratantra. In Shingon Buddhism, the state of Bodhi is also seen as naturally inherent in the mind. It is the mind's natural and pure state, where no distinction is being made between a perceiving subject and perceived objects. This is also the understanding of Bodhi found in Yogacara Buddhism and the mind's natural and pure state as in Dzogchen. To achieve this vision of non-duality, it is necessary to recognise one's own mind: ... it means that you are to know the inherent natural state of the mind by eliminating the split into a perceiving subject and perceived objects which normally occurs in the world and is wrongly thought to be real. This also corresponds to the Yogacara definition ... that emptiness (sunyata) is the absence of this imaginary split[18] During the development of Mahayana Buddhism the various strands of thought on Bodhi were continuously being elaborated. Attempts were made to harmonize the various terms. The Buddhist commentator Buddhaguhya treats various terms as synonyms: For example, he defines emptiness (sunyata) as suchness (tathata) and says that suchness is the intrinsic nature (svabhava) of the mind which is Enlightenment (bodhi-citta). Moreover, he frequently uses the terms suchness (tathata) and Suchness-Awareness (tathata-jnana) interchangeably. But since Awareness (jnana) is non-dual, Suchness-Awareness is not so much the Awareness of Suchness, but the Awareness which is Suchness. In other words, the term Suchness-Awareness is functionally equivalent to Enlightenment. Finally, it must not be forgotten that this Suchness-Awareness or Perfect Enlightenment is Mahavairocana [the Primal Buddha, uncreated and forever existent]. In other words, the mind in its intrinsic nature is Mahavairocana, whom one "becomes" (or vice versa) when one is perfectly enlightened.[18]

i prefer discussions which lead to svecchacara which is why i start there as well

The stone which the builders rejected has become the cornerstone. This is the Lord's doing; it is marvelous in our eyes. - Psalm 118 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. - Psalm 23

Anyhow, to get back on topic - (instead of getting hung up on terms) - I would say that a certain sort of dispassion or disinterest can be an omen. If you react in the standard way, its likely to seem "bleak" - because the mind will generate stories about it to reinforce old patterns, the same as it does with every situation and event. The constant stream of thoughts-as-narration going on in your mind will shackle you to a certain experience - it will drive you to either express or internalize a repeat performance of an earlier response, usually tied to a particular "traumatic" event (which can be seemingly not a big deal to us as adults but would be experienced much differently as children). These stories and thoughts that describe things in your mind are the voice of your own personality, as it continually recreates itself in an effort to maintain stability - as an attempt at permanence. The stories and ideas and thoughts about what is occurring in life (whatever it may be) are exactly the things which prevent it from being another way. When those stories and ideas and thoughts are gone, what remains is limitless potential. The implications may not be immediate or all-encompassing to an absolute degree, as we are all subject to the consequences of this world until we die - but there is a fundamental difference that occurs when the core of being is uncovered. As the source of your own life, it has infinite implications... and thats not even to mention the source of all things...

Again, that sounds a lot like the clinical definition of "depression"... but Im not trying to imply that you have it, or that you are wrong about the dark night or whatever - but you may want to revise your ideas of depression. In many cases I think people who are going thru a dark night period end up looking for treatment and being diagnosed as having "depression". But its hard to say where the dividing line is in this arena, even neuroscientists dont agree on this stuff. When it comes to "chemical imbalances" its always a question of chicken and the egg to a certain extent - unless there is a genuine physical deformity from birth. In other words, I dont think you can say "oh its definitely not that", because I think they both get mixed up together, and rightly so - even though one may be recognized as a spirtual crisis and the other is not.

Actually, clinical "depression" is classified as specifically having no reason.

1 + 1 = 2 .. is "right" 1 + 1 = 3 .. is "wrong" would you agree? or not?

Well, eventually you would want to get to a place where there are no sensations of the body (subtle or otherwise) at all, and "thats it"... because thats when the expansion of energy becomes potentially limitless... and "sensations" ceases to be an applicable term for the experience Sensations like that are a kind of resistance, in a sense. Of course there is a fine line between perceptions and awareness itself, and that is what you are working with... eventually at the most raw level possible

I remember that eclipse well... mostly because I looked at it directly and theres a little dot still burned into my retina

Today, like every other day, we wake up empty and frightened. Don't open the door to the study and begin reading. Take down a musical instrument. Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground. - Rumi

Wu Wei is the approach of mastery, so there wont be much that can be said in conventional terms, which is why ideas at this level often reach us as poetry or prose, or songs and so on. Its not a "final" state but rather seems to be the journey proper, in which all that preceded seems only preparatory. Its an ongoing process, just like life and the rest of the universe. For example, water will flow through a tree and a reed in much different ways, and the wind will move them differently as well, and so on.

Homage to Great Bliss! Mahamudra is knowing that all things are one's own mind. Seeing objects as external is just noetic projection. The whole of "appearance" is as empty as a dream. The mind as such is merely a flow of awareness, without self-nature, moving where it will like the wind. Empty of an identity, it is like space. All phenomena, like space, are the same. That which is termed Mahamudra, Is not a "thing" that can be pointed to. It is the mind's own nature that is Mahamudra It is not something to be perfected or transformed. Thus, to realize this, is to realize that the whole world of appearance is Mahamudra. This is the absolute all-inclusive Dharmakaya Uncontrived and just as it is, the inconceivable Dharmakaya, is itself effortless meditation. Trying to attain something is not meditation. Seeing everything like space, like a magical illusion, Neither meditating nor not meditating, Neither separate nor not separate: Such is the Yogin's realization. All virtuous and evil actions Become liberated through this knowledge. The sinful defilements become the Absolute Gnosis itself; becoming the Yogin's friend, this is a fire consuming the forest of trees. Where then is going or staying? Who then needs to run to a Monastery to meditate? If one does not understand this point, liberation will be but a temporary event. When the true nature is realized, one abides in the unwavering state. Whether or not one is in the state of Integration or not, There is nothing to be corrected by antidote or meditation. Whatever arises is devoid of self-nature. Appearances are auto-liberated into the Sphere of Reality (Dharmadhatu). Conceptual creation is auto-liberated into Absolute Gnosis (Mahajnana). The non-duality of these two is the Dharmakaya. Like the flow of a great river, Whatever occurs is meaningful and true. This is the eternal Buddha state, The Great Bliss, transcending the Worldly Cycle. All phenomena are empty of self-identity, Wherein even the concept of emptiness is eliminated. Free of concepts, clinging not to mental projections, is the Path of all the Enlightened Ones. For those fortunate to connect with this teaching, I have uttered these words of heartfelt instruction. Thus, may all sentient beings become established in Mahamudra. - Maitripa