9th

next time you experience this sensation, you should open your eyes, and keep them open focus on the air or the space in front of you - instead of a definite object in the environment otherwise continue as usual

eyes open or closed?

i find that fetish fascinating

The master/slave dynamic is problematic from the very beginning. This is what Osho was referring to. But the idea of "shaktipat" and also "satsang" is extremely common in the east. It is the basis of guru yoga, and bhakti and so forth. In fact, the model of devotion to a divine master is also what Christianity itself adopted during the founding of the church. In the gospel of thomas, we see conflicting comments, i.e. "Jesus said, 'I am not your master...'". and then "Jesus said, 'Come unto me, for my yoke is easy and my lordship is mild...'".

At which stage of "enlightenment" does spell checking kick in? Anyways, the renunciate vs householder debate is incredibly ancient, and does not have any absolute or universal resolution. People are different, ways are different. Some people do not have the strength to sustain gnosis while living within society. Some do. In between, there are many who are up for the challenge and will have to work at it. Ive had experiences of telekinesis, telepathy, control of the weather and wind patterns, waking astral projection, direct perception of energy fields, have watched the origin of existence itself becoming manifest, and have had wordless conversations with a fair number of highly evolved non-human entities. This is not "special" - and ideas like that are the last direction you want to go when stuff like that starts happening. If I were you, I wouldnt get caught up with ideas about the "four stages of enlightenment" as some kind of prize medal or status symbol - but perhaps this is exactly the reason you wish to to leave society to begin with. In many ways, working within society is like weight training for the path. It is an added resistance - it can be used to beneficial effect, or it can be used to break you in half. You start slowly and build it up. It is the only way to gain facility with certain capabilities, and also ensures that continuity can be maintained. If you cannot sustain your practice when surrounded by the distractions of society, what use is your practice to begin with? Isolation is an artificial contrivance - not a living reality. In the larger picture, there is no escape from communion (and community) - even and especially in more "advanced" realms. This kind of view is a distinct hindrance, but a very common burden for many on the path. It is best overcome as quickly as possible, as it tends to cause petrifaction. Good luck with your journey. Madness is closely related to non-ordinary functions of the mind, because it is one - although it generally tends towards limitations of capabilities rather than expansion of them. However, sometimes there is overlap, and sometimes its impossible to define the boundaries to begin with due to the extent of suffusion in the unknown.

depending on how much of a fearless risk-taker you are, sloppy - it is quite possible... temporarily, at least "There is another question that interests me very much," I said. "There are substances which yogis take to induce certain states. Might these not be, in certain cases, narcotics? I have myself carried out a number of experiments in this direction and everything I have read about magic proves to me quite clearly that all schools at all times and in all countries have made a very wide use of narcotics for the creation of those states which make 'magic' possible." "Yes," said G. "In many cases these substances are those which you call 'narcotics' But they can be used in entirely different ways. There are schools which make use of narcotics in the right way. People in these schools take them for self-study; in order to take a look ahead, to know their possibilities better, to see beforehand, 'in advance,' what can be attained later on as the result of prolonged work. When a man sees this and is convinced that what he has learned theoretically really exists, he then works consciously, he knows where he is going. Sometimes this is the easiest way of being convinced of the real existence of those possibilities which man often suspects in himself. There is a special chemistry relating to this. There are particular substances for each function. Each function can either be strengthened or weakened, awakened or put to sleep. "But to do this a great knowledge of the human machine and of this special chemistry is necessary. In all those schools which make use of this method experiments are carried out only when they are really necessary and only under the direction of experienced and competent men who can foresee all results and adopt measures against possible undesirable consequences. The substances used in these schools are not merely 'narcotics' as you call them, although many of them are prepared from such drugs as opium, hashish, and so on. Besides schools in which such experiments are carried out, there are other schools which use these or similar substances, not for experiment or study but to attain definite desired results, if only for a short time. Through a skillful use of such substances a man can be made very clever or very strong, for a certain time. Afterwards, of course, he dies or goes mad, but this is not taken into consideration. Such schools also exist. So you see that we must speak very cautiously about schools. They may do practically the same things but the results will be totally different."

"The ways also differ from each other by their relation to the teacher or leader. "On the way of the fakir a man has no teacher in the true sense of the word. The teacher in this case does not teach but simply serves as an example. The pupil's work consists in imitating the teacher. "On the way of the monk a man has a teacher, and a part of his duty, a part of his work, consists in having absolute faith in the teacher, in submitting to him absolutely, in obedience. But the chief thing on the way of the monk is faith in God, in the love of God, in constant efforts to obey and serve God, although, in his understanding of the idea of God and of serving God, there may be much that is subjective and contra­dictory. "On the way of the yogi a man can do nothing, and must do nothing, without a teacher. In the beginning he must imitate his teacher like the fakir and believe in him like the monk. But, afterwards, a man on the way of the yogi gradually becomes his own teacher. He learns his teacher's methods and gradually learns to apply them to himself. "But all the ways, the way of the fakir as well as the way of the monk and the way of the yogi, have one thing in common. They all begin with the most difficult thing, with a complete change of life, with a renunciation of all worldly things. A man must give up his home, his family if he has one, renounce all the pleasures, attachments, and duties of life, and go out into the desert, or into a monastery or a yogi school. From the very first day, from the very first step on his way, he must die to the world; only thus can he hope to attain anything on one of these ways. "The fourth way requires no retirement into the desert, does not require a man to give up and renounce everything by which he formerly lived. The fourth way begins much further on than the way of the yogi. This means that a man must be prepared for the fourth way and this preparation must be acquired in ordinary life and be a very serious one, embracing many different sides. Furthermore a man must be living in conditions favorable for work on the fourth way, or, in any case, in conditions which do not render it impossible. It must be understood that both in the inner and in the external life of a man there may be conditions which create insuperable barriers to the fourth way. Furthermore, the fourth way has no definite forms like the ways of the fakir, the monk, and the yogi. And, first of all, it has to be found. This is the first test. It is not as well known as the three traditional ways. There are many people who have never heard of the fourth way and there are others who deny its existence or possibility. "At the same time the beginning of the fourth way is easier than the beginning of the ways of the fakir, the monk, and the yogi. On the fourth way it is possible to work and to follow this way while remaining in the usual conditions of life, continuing to do the usual work, preserving former relations with people, and without renouncing or giving up anything. On the contrary, the conditions of life in which a man is placed at the beginning of his work, in which, so to speak, the work finds him, are the best possible for him, at any rate at the beginning of the work. These conditions are natural for him. These conditions are the man himself, because a man's life and its conditions correspond to what he is. Any conditions different from those created by life would be artificial for a man and in such artificial conditions the work would not be able to touch every side of his being at once. "Thanks to this, the fourth way affects simultaneously every side of man's being. It is work on the three rooms at once. The fakir works on the first room, the monk on the second, the yogi on the third. In reaching the fourth room the fakir, the monk, and the yogi leave behind them many things unfinished, and they cannot make use of what they have attained because they are not masters of all their functions. The fakir is master of his body but not of his emotions or his mind; the monk is master of his emotions but not of his body or his mind; the yogi is master of his mind but not of his body or his emotions. "Then the fourth way differs from the other ways in that the principal demand made upon a man is the demand for understanding. A man must do nothing that he does not understand, except as an experiment under the supervision and direction of his teacher. The more a man understands what he is doing, the greater will be the results of his efforts. This is a fundamental principle of the fourth way. The results of work are in proportion to the consciousness of the work. No 'faith' is required on the fourth way; on the contrary, faith of any kind is opposed to the fourth way. On the fourth way a man must satisfy himself of the truth of what he is told. And until he is satisfied he must do nothing. "The method of the fourth way consists in doing something in one room and simultaneously doing something corresponding to it in the two other rooms—that is to say, while working on the physical body to work simultaneously on the mind and the emotions; while working on the mind to work on the physical body and the emotions; while working on the emotions to work on the mind and the physical body. This can be achieved thanks to the fact that on the fourth way it is possible to make use of certain knowledge inaccessible to the ways of the fakir, the monk, and the yogi. This knowledge makes it possible to work in three directions simultaneously. A whole parallel series of physical, mental, and emotional exercises serves this purpose. In addition, on the fourth way it is possible to individualize the work of each separate person, that is to say, each person can do only what is necessary and not what is useless for him.

https://www.simonsfoundation.org/quanta/20140122-a-new-physics-theory-of-life/

i dont really understand the problem with the thoth deck... the artwork is incredible - its inspired and deeply informative ive got a jpeg of "the universe" on my phones opening screen this one is also worth a good long meditation: musical accompaniment:

The variables are the same. Words themselves are the variables. You are trying to define an object with words. It doesnt matter whether that object is "a person" or "desire", because subjectivity is not absolute. This is not a math equation, there is no "right" answer, there is no way to "refute" your personal subjective opinions of anything.

Well you are disagreeing with something I havent said - these considerations are your own invention. Im not sure what anxiety, insanity and mood swings have to do with all of this, either. Personal and social rules do not determine how painful it is to stab yourself with a needle. Rather it is a direct sensation afforded by your nervous system. Conscience is exactly the same. In every action you make, every situation you find yourself in, there are feelings that relate to it. The insistence on having a fixed identity of a certain kind necessarily blocks out some feelings, while magnifying others. This is antithetical to conscience, which is faculty that allows all feelings to occur - pain, pleasure, pride, shame, joy, sadness, love, hate, etc. - all of it, and most certainly that which cannot be named or described. It is based on bodily awareness. The natural order is infinitely more comprehensive and complete than the so-called "orderly" thoughts of human beings. Alignment to the way is accomplished through such physical reality, not through the fictional constructs of human ideologies which are directly derived from ignoring it.

The same can be applied to your statement about desire.

Feelings are a type of perception. They can relate to anything and everything.

Conscience doesnt make conclusions or judgments, it just has feelings. Again, it has nothing to do with legalities or moralities. Granted this is a difficult point for most people, because conscience is deliberately buried by everyone at all times, otherwise the tyranny of the self-image would be impossible - as would hypocrisy. Its a type of conditioning with a very entrenched historical precedent. Everyone learns how to do it from people around them as they are growing up.

If I were to say "you dont exist, you are actually just a collection of elemental processes interacting with the environment", can you refute that?

Its the same idea, really. The body is not the totality of "you", just as the ego is not the totality of "you" - they are components, or composite elements. The totality is all, which is one - but to say the ego is the totality would be wishful thinking.

this one is good: http://www.aeclectic.net/tarot/cards/deva/ http://www.tarotwisdomreadings.com/tarotdecks/Deva.html

The ego is like your physical body in that it serves a vital function but is not really "you". Both have their limits, and both have their strengths.