hagar

A man I met on a retreat did some qigong practice on top of a hill near Henley in England. He practiced there for a good half hour, and got nauseous, vomited, and felt ill. Later he asked my teacher what he thought, and he said that the place was not good due to it having been a place of worship in ancient times and had been energetically "rigged". We went there with the whole group, and on top of the hill my teacher showed us a depression in the ground. There, he said, someone probably had been holding rituals infused with energy, and the area had "traps", so to protect the site. He started walking towards the centre of the pit, and started walking in very strange patterns, almost like in an invisible maze or labyrinth. After a covering 10 meters in about 5 minutes of back-and-forth stepping he stopped in the middle and said he felt very comfortable. h

Listen to something that probbly is very close to your case of experiencing a blockage or barrier, with our without a substance inducing the experience. I've had some similar experiences as you, and these issues of precieved "blocks" and making sense of the inability to pass them is actually a profound teaching. My experience was not involving any drugs or external stimuli. Yet there may be some overlap to what you describe about how to make sense of it in retrosepct. The experience was induced in a healing session in a five animals retreat, connecting to the spirit of the animal. It was shamanistic in nature, yet not a psychedelic experience. It was induced by opening to the chi. Instead of making me "empowered", it shattered me, making me ill, nauseous, and pretty much breaking down. I lied on the floor unable to get up. The second session was completely different, involving tuning into a special talisman that he asked us to respond to.The following hour involved visions, uncontrollable bodily reactions and auditory and sensory hallucinations. From my conventional mind it shattered my entire concept of the world. It felt life changing, yet in hindsight, I held onto the experience. It was only an experience. I still walked around thinking that this was happening "to me". For me the significance of the experience was this: The process doesn't care what sense you make of it, or lack there of. What the personal you is able to recieve or deem problematic has nothing to do with what is actually unfolding. There is only a percieved problem, and blockages does only exist in reference to a personal "you", wich is always experienced in retrospect. Its a simplistic comment, yet it's honing in to the important issue: Stop focusing the experience as something to make sense of. It only refers to something not making sense, i.e that there is a belief or hope that the ego can utilize the insights into its framework. It does not work. No worry, tough. The healing takes place with or without your consent. I tried to convey my earth-shattering experience to my teacher, desperately wanting him to help me make sense of them, since they were so unique and magical. His reply was dissappointing, yet probably the greatest teaching I've recieved so far. Answering my prolonged and flaming account he said; "It's quite normal". h

Being somewhat fed up with the whole 11:11 thing, and really detesting the hype of 2012, I've grown weary of all the pseudo-knowledge about numbers. Especially the "hidden meaning" that lies in randomly occuring numbers. Yet I find myself constantly looking at them. For a couple of weeks now, while looking at my digital clock on my phone, pc or other places, identical numbers keep popping up. Or rather, pairs of identical numbers. It's mostly time-related. Being on Norwegian time (being military time) it goes soemthing like this: 13:13, 21:21, 18:18, 10:10, and so on. So anyone in for an explanation; a) Chance? the observer effect? (i.e. when wanting a Porsche, you see Porsches all around) c) Unconscious editing out of all the instances that does not correspond to these occurences? d) The universe is trying to tell me something? Psedo-science is not science, but pseudo-explanation is still an explanation.

Thanks One of the better posts I've seen here on TTB h

Update on my number issues: It's getting past the point where I cannot rationalize this anymore. I have started to use my girlfriend as witness to the times during the day when I find myself looking at double digits that are identical. And it's getting beyond 50% of the time. It's up to 5 to 10 times a day, when I'm up for logging it, taking an average of checking the time at about 15 to 20. The only thing I notice is that the "effect" or phenomenon only happens if I "unwittingly" are checking the time, and not re-checking (obvious). It's only within a context where something else is of importance, and the time is only a reference. So consciously looking for the occurence will "jinx" it. After inquiring for some time what my unconscious is trying to convey I've trown in the towel. It's just uncanny. Reading up on it doesn't help. Spanning the whole horizon from plain coincidence, to chaos theory, fuzzy logic and all the way up to angelic communication, non of it makes any sense. These days I kinda feel haunted, hoping my mind is playing tricks on me. If that is the case, it would be a relief. Maybe this is one of those "just groove on the mystery" challenges. h

Interesting how the hermetics tried to define God positively. Most mystics does the opposite, through negations, like Moojis reading of the Advahuta Gita here h

I had a flood dream last night. A river spills over it's banks, and floods all the houses in my vicinity. Don't have to be Freud to see that most catastrophe dreams, especially those related to fire and water are about emotional content, or subconscious content being stirred, threatening the ego/personality structure. Sometimes dreams can be the most succinct way of expressing an understanding or a message. I've read about psychics and sensitive people who all seem to have these terrible dreams of things to come, yet I feel dreams seldom are related directly to the world out there. The are almost always tell-tales of an inner process or dialogue, or a messenger from the subconsious. When spiritual practice reaches a certain point, you do not dream. h

There should be no problem with this practice after a vasectomy. It may even be an advantage. The general misunderstanding, based on inaccurate or partial teachings in the west is that there is a gradual process of transmutation from the actual reproductive fluid to subtler states of matter, and then to spiritual energy. This has nothing to do with actual Nei Dan practice. Instead, the basis for inner alchemical practice is to fuse the essential light, fire and water. This work focuses on the fusion of the true nature of the physical body and it's manifestation of the spiritual energy that is joined in it. Later the work focuses on the amplification, transmutation and natural liberation of this energy in the physical body. The inital work is to draw the Shen or light back into the physical body. "closing the leak" or building the foundation is actually a work of gathering the light back into the body. Thus the focus on celibacy, and mental fasting is related to bringing the light back and fusing it with the essential water. This gives birth to the Dan. Sexual energy in it's prenatal state is not the basis for this practice. These aspects of the inner energies combine, and later will also utilize the decayed "yin" energies of conditioned sexual energy, emotions and energy of the actual physical body, as they all become "fuel" or medicine for the unfolding of this practice. h

Great feedback Keith. I looked at some bagua vids last night with my son =)... We ended up copying them, but junior seems to get the nack of it sooner than me. Funny you should mention the spine and kindey relationship. In the form we were taught(Snake gong) there is some subtle standing practice that is a sort of foundational, or preparatory work for working more deeply on the spine. The heels are very important, and the connection btw the heels are the key to opening the energy. What was fascinating was when we were playing with the connetion between the heels as one leg was in a circular pendulum, and the other was still. What happens was a deep soothing of the kidneys. My teacher said that this gathers the light of the leg/bones and thus gathers the light back into the root of the leg, which is the kidney. Deeply soothing. What struck me was how the leg/hip/kidney relationship is extrememly important, and gathering the light back into the lower body is one of the fastest ways to heal bone and kidney issues. h

Kate; I'm reluctant to borrow concepts such as "kundalini", yet what appears to happen is that that apparent deep blockages and "shadows" in the actual physical structure of my bones and ligaments are flaring up, and like a christmas tree they seem to light up and actualize issues related to the organs and glands. It's like starting up an old spaceship that you thought was just part of the landscape. It feels ancient in a way. Makes me wonder about inherited conditioning, or the conditioning that is granted to us from even before conception. What strikes me is the actual physicality of the whole thing. It's not psychological, nor really energetic in the conventional way. It feels more like the whole area of the coccyx, lower spine and the whole lower Jiao is infused with information that I have no real grasp of. The same form of "quickening" seems to occur through my Nei Dan practice; the speed and intensity of deep energetic structures are brought back to life, or awakened, by the fusion of prenatal and postnatal energy. Spinal work opens the energetic pathways that also lights up this stuff, and it's as if this is not usually part of my equation when working with Jing or Chi aspects in my system. It reminds me of what my teacher said about the deeply rooted informatin that is contained within the body light, and the light of the spine. h

Thanks K Funny you mention the notion of wanting to change. Seems like spinal work brings with it the awareness of direction and the right and wrong way to go. Forces major re-callibration of basis of life choices, wants, likes, and motivations. Very strange. h

Thanks Cat. Actually I experienced the detox issues a couple of days BEFORE the retreat. Go figure. Five animals are great! From my experience, this flaring up of problems is now been accompanied by this sense that the spine and limbs are inclined to do these subtle gestures, very soft, almost like prayers or incantations. h

Great advice. Never thought spinal work opens up such deep vistas of exploration. Things have eased up a bit. This sense of how spinal alignment actually forces the whole body and psyche to also realign is something that has a deep and profound meaning for me as I have experienced several injuries and traumas to the spine and neck. h

Great tip. Thank you! h

In a strange way, this is an honest thread. Why isn´t the basic issue addressed; taken to the extreme, or if you go all the way with any one stance or proposition about the world, it mysteriously flips into it´s opposite.? If you deeply believe in nothing, you end up believing in something. Our conditioning forces us to want to be happy. But if you can´t ultimately control the world, how can you be happy? h

Ahh, profound! The web that has no weaver... Its this that is really interesting... What do you get in return for giving away some agency, and what do I lose? h

Tip from the forests of Norway: I eat the spring shoots of pine trees raw. They taste bitter sweet and are abit sticky, but feels very fresh and they also have tonic qualities. h

I'd say it would be beneficial to access the Ming Men via the navel, and follow the line from the navel to the mingmen until it meets the spine. The actual cavity is on the internal side of the spine, and focusing on it indirectly is much more efficient. In addition, coupling this point with the Hui Yin is beneficial not only for the overall aplitude of Jing in the lower Jiao, but for the reproductive organs as well. h

Take care Cam h

Interesting you guys say what you say. You and Michael were both aroudn when this thread was going on. I've come to appreciate the actual stories or narratives that different practitioners have, as a description of their spiritual trajectories. I'd love to make a series of interviews, focusing on these more general implications of people's spiritual experiences and how it molded their path on my not very interesting blog. Take people like Plato, Darin H, Yoda and you guys. Great stories! I think you all represent valid, compelling and fascinating variations of some very important and basic topics based on why we choose the way we do, and what we do. Stuff related to hope, dissapointment (or disenchantment), discipline and also temprament, and how actual good and bad experiences color our future path. Well, it's a good idea, but probably will never pan out. It's easy to see the challenges, assets, talents and shortcomings of others, yet so hard to see them in myself. Jeez, that came out wrong... Not implying you have shortcomings h

I'd love an url to the post where he talks about his Fox spirit attack on Hua Shan. Brilliant stuff in contemporary western Taoist lore. h

First of all, I'm kind of impressed by your discussion. It is an amazing display of rigour in the topic at hand. Yet aren't all our ideas supported and based on some sort of doctrine? Personally, I've witnessed a general decay of my writing over the years. I really do not have the brains for it anymore, and on top of that, my memory fails me. So I'm in awe that you are actually able to maintain your level of discussion. But that said, it's very tempting to want to be right. h