hagar

You issue is related to the side effects the so-called Kundalini, and secondarily your concepts and beliefs about women, dating and yourself. You are feeling energized as you air out alot of energy, the same way you sense alot of energy going ut of a warm room through the window into the winter air. If you want to cultivate, don´t manipulate Jing chi in any way. You pay a price. I speak from experience. Forget the whole retention/not-retention thing for now. Meditate with this acupoint in mind. Find a mudra or position that includes a light and not too heavy meditation on this point , and your issues of lethargy will diminish. Needs to be done for a few days, about an hour a day. http://www.361-acupuncture-points.com/conception-vessel/13-2-311/

My english is broken by sitting and doing academia. My fault entirely. I´ll rephrase: In my experience, the shen or light aspect is not just electrical/vibrational (chi), its also more like a radiation, or static. Where chi is dependent on polarities, shen is collected or dispersed. How does this go with your conductor-model?

Very interesting indeed... From my own very limited understanding, the electricity/polarity-aspect of the cultivation does not induce the Shen or light aspect- What is your experience with the demarcation of these aspects of the cultivation of the Dan? h

a contraption! Please elaborate.. Usually symptoms of internal alchemical imbalance seems to have a mind of its own, and can even be percieved as very profound energetic processes. I had these issues flame up due to my unconsciously having too much forced and mental induction of the Dan. From my experience the creation and induction of the Dan and the cavities are almost lie winning a woman over. Only when you trust and give yourself over to the process itself will it open its secrets. I feel the correct practice is much more subtle and indirect, almost like balancing an feather on top of a knifeblade. Then it starts to function the prescribed way. Only my 2 cents h

Keep in mind I have not read the entire thread. Quick feedback to the original post: What you describe is just assorted symptoms of not anchoring your energy sufficiently in the LDT. If you had done this, and eased off on the intensity ( you seem to be focusing abit to intently), the symptoms would ease off and subside. In my first years of internal alchemy, I ended up shaking and having signs of lack of grounding due to too much energy in the upper body. What you experiences is neither magical nor strange, but instead a symptom of misaligned practice with respect to lack of sufficient awareness of the LDT, and keeping emphasis on the method and letting go of the symptoms along the way, Good luck h

Nothing wrong with sleeping and dreaming. Its there for a reason. The peace you feel is a state, and states come and go. Let them do so, as they will continue. What does not go away when you wake up the next morning is a much more rewarding point of investigation. My best advice is to "gi faen". You know what I mean. h

Ironically, the best Nei Gong teachers are not very well known.

Everything is karma: if it has a beginning and an end. Now, what remains is the rest, which is the important stuff. Problem is, you can´t say anything about the rest.

This is true But, can anyone here explain how the difference btw how "post-natal qigong" feels like and how internal alchemical meditations and postitions feels like, i.e experientially define this in a nuanced way? What is really the difference between the process of NeiDan and qigong? We all know that nitpicking our way through the different interpretations of texts that allready in their own century were difficult to understand by their native practitioners, then translated, then interpreted, and then in many different translations, by non-practitioners, is abit, lets say...vague? no? Even on this board, people have wasted decades on practicing from translated versions of old Neidan texts. Which is actually tragic! Alot of what I have been shown that is supposed to be NeiDan is not. Many facets of qigong may have NeiDan built into them. How to tell them apart? Some forms may contain information that has the function of internal alchemical induction, yet is still qigong in the strictest sense, and if not done properly, many NeiDan forms is just plain sitting. Anyone? PS: Things have changed since "Understanding Reality" and other "Yellow emperor¨´s guide" was written. What has changed?

Agreed. The difference between the subconsious or and conscuous wants is mindboggling. I actually got traumatized by a dream I had the other day. Really shook me up. The funny thing was that it was not a nightmare, but it was terrifying in its sublimity. h

Interestingly, we have a pretty conservative and preservationist agenda, yet the last years, things have taken a turn. Basically due to infrastructure-pressures. Outside the national parks there is no inherent prohibitions, yet there was a major upset when the power lines across the fjord was decided to be built. Nobody stated the obvious; use less power.... h

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_njpY4VjTsqo/TGhAEzSYZPI/AAAAAAAABMk/gkR05OH11Qo/s1600/sshot-1-jin%27s.jpg Norway in a nutshell Apparently, earth follows Man nowadays.

Personally, I feel this is the body telling you that it needs more nutrition. IMO if hunger comes as a direct byproduct of practice, then eat. If the body tells you to eat, it often is not the brain that "tricks you". This is often more in correlation to stress and fear. My teacher told me many years ago that I should eat more and that I unconciously neglected my need for food. My system needed more food, basically, and had just created a habit of not eating enough. On retreats, I usually eat a tremendous amount of food, and have strong craving for food. I think hunger, just like sleep can get uncovered, and often, the body becomes aware or ready to take in nutrion if it relaxes and the chi is working on re-sensitizing the system. But, again, I am just using myself as example. This might be different for you. h

The thing is, its only dark due to you thinking you have anything to lose. And when you reach a certain degree of disregard for your legacy and reputation, you find that consoling, and comforting. It can be as dark as it wants to, and it´s just work. Hard work, dirty work, without any hope of a reward. Afterwards though, it feels something like this: And the old dude is always speaking german, and its far from some eastern thing...

Great. You just gave yourself permission for a short while. We all need to. It´s nothing special, more like a psycho-emotional burp. Just like burping, its fine as long as you don´t do it while in the company of strangers. h

The best description of actually the experience of briefly touching upon the natural state I have ever come across, that was not heavily permeated by any conceptual baggage is in this appearance on Conan by Louis CK: See the whole thing. Best dharma talk I have heard for years, right there on prime time... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T-IHc8cdq_k

If you feel that the symptoms get overwhelming cut back on meditation time and do some basic qigong, or just train hard physically. The fastest way for me to get centered and grounded personally is to spend time in nature, either alone of with friends, and do something physical, like hiking. Simple pleasures. A good guy for you to check out is Adyashanti (youtube him). He is one of the most articulate people out there in describing the process of meditation, spiritual experiences, challenges in pretty plain language. Not knowing your context and background, but from what you describe, usually supressed and unprocessed emotional material tend to manifest in the ways you mention. It may contain profound insights, yet often its best to step lightly. The reason is that you should focus on the road not on the bugs that stick to the windshield, or the windshield wiper, if you get the analogy. The reason this is vital for moving forward with meditation is that all meditation practice has bumps and challenges. It is not designed to be a soothing, comfortable experience. (this is just a salespitch). Sometimes (not always) things get rocky, and that is usually a sight that you are actually making progress. When I say that meditation starts when you move on to a way of experiencing when you are not dealing with the emotinal material as the prime focus, I mean that realizing that what is coming, also goes. But real meditation is sensing, grasping or just being in what is not coming nor going. Something is completely untouched in you, and is not partaking in any turmoil, emotion, or experience. Its the space in which all these things are happening. Sometimes, just letting the things that come up be felt and experienced may lead the way to this very mysterious yet very ordinary place. This is meditation, and it is nothing to "do". It just "is". It is not something out there, nor in "here". It is what makes you feel that you were the "same" as you were when you had your first memory. It wil be there when you die, and it will be completely independent of coming into being or dying. It is easy to intellectualize, but when you see this, it transforms your life forever. Just in a glimpse. Sometimes, this leads you to realize that you are not who you thought you were, which I feel you are starting to feel, and then things might be very strange for a while. But its quite normal. h

First of all, none of the symptoms you describe seems to be outside the very ordinary when it comes to the first initial "byproducts" of any consistent meditative practice or yoga, qigong or the like. Search the forum for "side effects" or "symptoms" and you will get a quite good idea where you are in the overall percentile of practitioners here or anywhere else for that matter. What I can confirm is that the more mental, or emotional aspects of what you describe is also "psycho-emotional debris", i.e stuff that gets released and actualized, and probably have lied dormant in your psyche prior to your meditation practice. The important thing to remember is that it is not that meditation makes you feel this way. Instead remember that if done correctly, meditative practice will just let your mind and body do what it spontaneously seeks in relation to any tension, trauma, emotion or thoughts pent up from prior experiences; it naturally unwinds itself. Through meditation this process is allowed. Just let it unwind, and remember to detach from the symptoms. Even as strange, bad, or good any of your experiences are, they are pretty common. Try to let them go. Flat or high emotion, no sensitivity or a lot, social anxiety or hyper social, triggers of deep emotions for no apparent reason etc. I´ve been there. I remember crying from watching commercials, and sitting like a vegetable for ours. I´ve had strange cravings for beer wine and tobacco, yet feeling deeply unsatisfied. I had periods of both depression and elation/agitation in my first years of meditation. This was doing TM-meditation in my 20s. I remember many of the symptoms you describe. Keep focusing on the method, and don't identify with any thoughts or interpretation of the process. The caveat here is that you have a sound and balanced meditative practice, meaning not too focused, willed, forced or spaced out. 2 things that you should do to keep sane through your process, which will naturally soften and deepen, but be prepared for many bumps in the road. 1. Try meet up with groups of other practitioners or seek out a teacher of meditation. This is very important after a while, in particular due to small errors that may have great impact over time. 2. "Grounding" is a vague word, meaning anchoring your mind and body in the physical world is important when meditating. Exercise, do practical things, and socialize are good to keep your practice sound and on the right track. This will also let you stay focused on the important thing: Life, not practice. most of all: the actual unfolding of your practice may open to something beyond the symptoms you describe. This is when meditation actually begins. I remember when sitting in meditation, in a lot of pain, and started laughing due to the absurdity of how important I felt my pain was. The person who feels all that you are feeling is actually just a thought. But that has to be felt, not thought. My God! I use " " a lot. Why? Is it irony? h

I don´t have alot of really good advice to you. But there is a sense that you are sincere, so you deserve honesty; Stop thinking that sexual practice will do you any good before you reach a quite a ways, practice-wise. Personally, I have thrown the whole idea of heated practice on the boat years ago and never looked back. It was a sound decision. Most books or people on the subject only lead you astray with guesswork. The best thing for you, and many others who reached your sense of accomplishment is to let go of pretty much everything you think you know. These things tend to have an inherent structure to them, and especially if there is feeling of getting anywhere: then stop immediately. It´s like thinking you are in the ONE pyramid scam that actually will work. You would really benefit from finding a good teacher. Interestingly enough, the way to find a good teacher is to work on yourself. And the way to work you yourself is to start opening to the terrifying fact that the guy that is working on himself doesn´t actually exist. Then, more by good grace a teacher will find you. And my experience is that if you find anything outside yourself that completes you, ask yourself what needs completion. best of luck h

Cred. for doing an important job. h

Primarily focusing too much on chi and Jing as something to be saved and contained created a very unhealthy and dualistic perspective both on my practice, my self-perception and my relationships towards others and society. Came nothing good from it. It also gave me quite a few issues energetically and physically. The ironic thing was that my teacher did not focus on retention nor "heated" jing practice at all. It was only I who became smitten by this notion of retention. I addition, the whole idea (it is an idea) that chi is something to save and hoard is very neurotic indeed. Only when I realized that chi cannot be owned, nor saved, did I finally let go of this stupidity. Later I realized that we are not containers of energy at all. The body is not the body, and we are more like conductors, or maybe even more like constellations, energetically speaking... From then, the rabbit hole really has not stopped going. interestingly; all my "personal" ambition in qigong was actually what created problems. The only way to not get into trouble is do your practice for all, for the universe, wanting nothing. This means completely accepting how faulty and neurotic your personal self is, and how this self is constantly trying to hijack everything.

Cultivating Jing in any form is dependent on a strong foundation in cultivating Shen, and usually with the assistance of a teacher. If you start working with Jing, the only thing you do is expanding and increasing what is allready there, both advantageous and detrimental to your path. Never forget that you practice to live a full life, and stop thinking you can plan so long a head. If you fail, you will lose your way. Instead, do the practice that is independent on failure and success. This also a way to integrate practice in your life. The first instance life challenges you, and you are allready challenged by depriving yourself of basic aspects of your self, then you might end up in a great deal of trouble. If you think you get anywhere by controlling anything you will fail. I know, and I learned the hard way. Its possible to not learn through failure. h

Don´t worry about it! You are 19 years old. 20 years older than you I can say you have plenty of time later to contemplate this. No harm, and you seem to be on the right track. Don´t think you can control these things. You cannot. h

Darn I think its difficult to actually convey it unless experiencing it in practice: I actually felt unwell about disclosing some stuff a while back. I felt I violated a trust.