cloud recluse

Correct me if I am wrong, but in traditional Japanese Zen, was some kind of little cushioned wedge made available to prop your butt up a bit if the cushion was a bit low for your height/body type ? Or is that a recent innovation? And what are they called anyhow?

Was wandering through a local park a few weeks ago. Very peaceful & relaxing environment, in a very calm mood (& no, none of the following is drug related ). Happily, & contentedly feeling the environment. No great yogic focus required; it was all too attractive to need any deliberate effort. Sat down on a bench, relaxed a bit further. I was just beginning a self-inquiry exercise, and the observer-observed duality suddenly dropped. I was everything I was seeing & feeling. I wasn't limited to any of it. I wasn't averse to any of it. It was all equally 'me '. I wasn't a "Witness". I wasn't witnessing, I was "Being". Being It. I can't call it a 'deep' experience, & there were no particular fireworks, but everything was obviously myself, as well as simultaneously an utter mystery rushing into the vast space that was 'me'. I was the space & the forms within it. All in a very calm, delighted, curious & 'obvious' way. Though very beautiful, it didn't seem 'special'. Just obvious. After what may have possibly been about 10minutes of getting up & walking about marveling at everything, awareness of fearful compulsions, "cravings", as disturbances of energy in the body became evident. This didn't obscure the "Oneness", but it did make me start chuckling aloud, as it was all so obviously RIDICULOUS. I had nothing, NOTHING to lose (or gain for that matter), so such cravings were simply FUNNY! Then a friend's dog came bounding up to me, closely followed by the friend, & as I commenced social engagement, the sense of dual separation resumed. Strangely, I associated no sense of immediate loss with this. I just took it as a matter of course. Within half an hour though, I could detect old stress patterns causing actual discomfort again, & things were back to 'usual". Things started to be felt as 'issues', physically. Happened again about a week later, in another park oddly enough (are trees conspiring in my favor ), though to a lesser extent. Overall, I've come away with a direct experiential "There is nowhere to go, nowhere to get to, nothing to be gained, as the Fullness of it has Always Already been here. There is no 'elsewhere', so stop acting like there ever could be " kinda thang! The feeling was that the total energy of the situation was already sufficient in its fullness, I just have a confused habit of grasping for a nonexistent 'other'. These habits felt like patterns in the body itself, obscuring & disrupting the power that's already there (& everywhere else for that matter). So, that's my experience. NOT the serene detached separate Witness, but something else. Now I've heard that some schools of Zen recognize a 'mini satori'. Is that something akin to this? Feedback from the more well-informed would be groovy. Regards, Cloud

Thank you. And please, call me Cloud. None of this 'Mister' business

Oh there is no mystery whatsoever as to how I got myself into this

Thinking about it , any irl Teacher / Community relationship might not be really feasible till my living situation stabilizes. I hate hooking up with a group somewhere , liking it, only to disappear over the horizon a week later. Having said that , resurrecting this thread over the past few days and getting feedback from y'all is re-igniting my 'holy curiosity'. Have spent the past few days breaking out of the 'winter snooze' mode of sleeping in later and later, so I can have an opportunity to practice before the daily chaos erupts. Woke up at 617am today , did not nap at all, progress looks promising. Its 5:11 pm and Im only just starting to feel dull. Will most likely haver a crack at sitting tomorrow morning..

While no language game can contain the Dao , some of them can certainly obscure it . As the language game of our culture starts to change and loosen up, the initial View becomes more readily evident to more and more people , even if its only the preliminary glimpses I have had sofar. Which is not surprising . It is the Always Already Present truth of our human situation .

Thank you. Currently stuck in Hobart, Tasmania , in an 'interesting' living situation.

No, I dont mind. Perfectly reasonable question. Because I dont have an enlightened teacher , or the support of any kind of Sangha , I struggle to maintain the necessary formal meditation practice in my current circumstances. However I appreciate how those circumstances stimulate attachments , and try to relax and observe them as they arise instead of running after them(psychologically speaking ). So lots of 'mini-meditation' throughout the day.....kinda.

Well thats what started during the second glimpse , I briefly 'fell' in to the Heart for a short time, whereas the first glimpse was still kind of up in the Head , more or less. This is the most difficult part to express, a kind of 'luminosity' in the chest but not seen visually , more felt with a degree of feeling that was almost visual. Now practice consists of remembering to relax when separative strategies re-emerge, and trying not to chase after that experience again.

Currently Im trudging through a weird intermediary state , wherein part of me knows full well the futility of my ego-strategies , while another part of me engages them with what feels like a delusional sense of desperation . In many ways those compulsions now hit more intensely than before, with the emotions driving them more raw, more brutally obvious , like some defence mechanisms have been disabled. At the same time , it doesnt take much to relax beyond them, when I choose to do so. Imagine being on a wild rollercoaster, while feeling very chilled about it. Regards, Cloud

13 years , and a great deal of chaos in between . Sorry for taking so long to respond, but the last 5 months have been 'interesting'. Thank you for this , ".. when we have a spiritual insight or breakthrough, what we are feeling is the release of whatever was blocking us. So we will feel the opposite of whatever the obstacle was". I like this , it seems very sensible to me , and also kind of humbling. Regards , Cloud

An update. This is a diary entry from 2018; " Approx 10:45pm 30/06/2018 A slight shift. Shallow, but strong...if that makes any sense. Sitting in the shower , started looking for " the Victim" , the alleged 'One' who feels threatened enough to produce fear/anger. There is no 'one'. There has never been a 'one'. Life has never required it , doing continues to be done. No One . No one passes through the Gateless Gate. Had to stop myself laughing aloud . Its so fucking funny. All that effort for an impossible 'one' , an unacheivable solid knot. Not there , never has been. Cant die coz it was never alive , at least not by its understanding of life and death. Half an hour later , Im still prone to chuckles and a degree of amused relief. All I have to think is "Look for the Victim" and I start grinning again. Feeling physically wiped out though. " In the light of this , the first experience in the park seems to be more of a mystical expansion of the self , an insight into what 'non-dual living' would be like . The more recent experience seems to be a dropping of the self-strategy all together , if only temporary. Does anyone here appreciate that distinction ? Regards , Cloud

So, what are the Daoist / Yogic treatments & lifestyle options for this one ?

Have been in a deeply self-preoccupied blur for nigh on 12 months now, exacerbated recently by realising I probably wont be getting to check out Adyashanti when he travels Downunder this year But this has led me to wonder about the Local Talent ( I think I could afford a tram ticket,& the travel time would be more feasible ). Any locals at all experienced with Sailor Bob Adamson ? anyone actually checked out the guy in person? Any feedback ? Regards,Cloud

So,is anyone up for a Castaneda debate ? My favourite references for this are Richard de Mille's CASTANEDAS JOURNEY ,as well as THE DON JUAN PAPERS:FURTHER CASTANEDA CONTROVERSIES that he edited.Also Amy Wallaces SORCERERS APPRENTICE:MY LIFE WITH CARLOS CASTANEDA is a must!Im in the mood to sling some venom about,& will start of by saying that his 'feildwork' was plagiarism,his 'wisdom' fraught with a cowardly fear of intimacy,his" shamanism" ripped off from pop-occultism,his teacher an unconvincing composite of his university lecturers and his legacy the misogynistic exploitation & disempowerment of his personal students (some nice bits of poetry here & there though).There,that should be enough to start the ball rolling,someone out there MUST disagree with me Regards,Cloud.

Would pretty much agree. As the mind calms down , various habits are simply seen through & fade out through lack of interest . A compulsive , automatic pseudo-sexuality is included in that . No moralistic babble about 'detachment' , just a natural maturation in which priorities spontaneously change. However , having said that , a Retention Practice can be engaged as a response to this , a conscious amplification of this , if the individual deeply feels it to be appropriate . Not from any contrived sense of 'moral obligation' , but more of a yogic experiment with ones current disposition. Regards, Cloud

Not necessarily

The north seems to be getting wetter, & the south hotter . Im glad Im a wanderer down here .That freedom of movement is coming in useful. As Ive just got back positive news of a close freinds safety , I wanna register my appreciation of any prayers sent .

[split from Enlightenment and Evolution] Wayfarer: this may actually be the 'bump' in our Roll This is really something for a seperate thread,if anyone was interested.Youve touched on the whole question of "Quantum Mysticism" here,& its something I have reservations about. Now I will be the first to admit that I was a big fan of Capras TAO OF PHYSICS which I first read over 20 years ago.And I was then quite taken by Bohm-Pribrams Holographic paradigm of mind/matter. Then I read acollection of essays edited by Ken Wilber,THE HOLOGRAPHIC PARADIGM & OTHER PARADOXES.Which I seem to have lost my copy of The contributors to that pointed out some problems with propositions for a Quantum Mysticism,on both the scientific & the mystical side. Also,I started to talk with actual physicists,who were quite open-minded ( & perhaps a bit fond of LSD too),but also well versed in such matters (One of them went on to do a full Doctorate in Quantum Physics & is now doing research in the area,interspersed with Iyengar Yoga & a fondness for taking ecstasy with beautiful asian women !!!).This further moderated my initial enthusiasm. Anyhow,Im less certain nowadays that Quantum mechanics will deliver the mysticism that so many people expect from it.Ive actually become a bit skeptical of that enterprise.It may be both bad science AND bad mysticism. But if you want to take this up,I think we will need a seperate thread. Hope this isnt too much of a downer post Regards,Cloud

Have succesfully manifested desperately needed cash via Chaos Magick on a number of occasions now . But only the required amounts at the last moment . Doesnt seem to work when I try out of greed though. Not a moral observation, I just havent been able to pull off any big luxurious haul for its own sake I tend to have unusually good luck anyhow in regards to necessities, & the Chaos stuff seems to somehow 'amplify' this when needed . I wouldnt expect practical 'success' with the Kabbalistic-Golden Dawn-Crowley stuff, which seems to be focused towards religio-mystical experience anyhow , not worldly gain . And mystical experience wont get you 'out' of anywhere , be it your parents basement or wherever . Nor should it.

Are their any dietary modifications or herbal supplements that would assist in the alleiviation of an inflamed rotator cuff ? Currently receiving Bowen therapy & using hot & cold compress alternation . Not taking any anti-inflammatories or other medications ( Bowen therapist discouraged it ) .

After becoming intolerant of dairy products ( they cause acidic reflux & , bloating & flatulence ) , I switched to soy about 10 months ago . All seemed to go pretty groovy . But lately , it seems as though , a few hours after having any , I get some kind of irritation in my nasal passages . Now I say SEEMS at this point , its by no means a verified connection, but its led me to wonder . Are there any typical symptoms of allergic reactions to soymilk ?

This assumes "Ego", a convention of speech, is solid. Embrace life, lure attention away from this double-bind , let it fall apart by itself. You cant do it, coz 'you' are 'it'. Check out DESIRE by Daniel Odier, on how to embrace Samara as Nirvana . You can analyse the ego to reveal its self-defeating nature , but you will NEVER dissolve it.

Rainbow, the Samsara thats bugging you IS Nirvana. IF it really is bugging you that bad , the Ego must really be smashing up against the Flow. This brings your Ego-project out into the open , its exposed itself , rendered itself open to inspection .

Youve set your 'self' up against 'the world' . Now your body is exhausted by illusory fear. Doesnt that get a bit boring ? "You" will NEVER be free, saved . liberated, immune ...whatever goal 'youve' dreamt up. Is that blunt ? Perhaps your 'self' is just one brand of noise in the body. 'Escape' into 'the World'. Penetrate its nature.That should keep 'you' busy