Cameron

Xeno you seem upset?

Cool. I was strongly thinking of coming to SF so you think it would best not to practice until then?

Dude I was walking around Best Buy and went to use the bathroom and written in large black ink on the bathroom stall were the words LAO. Also written were several large penises. What does it mean?

Yeah...I will probably go to SF. Chocalatey goodneessssssssssss.

Thanks Chris, I appreciate it. still not really sleeping. I am not even going to talk about that anymore. Yeah..my sense is you could maybe cover some of the transformations of energy and consciousness a little it more. The seminar was sort of like..here is some totally mind blowing tools that will completely change your outlook on things and have fun with that. I mean..maybe that is a fun way to teach it..but it most definetly leaves me with the feeling "I need more feedback". So..yeah..I just don't have a clue. I am starting to realaize I can't even really have a design or plan on how things are going to go. Like..this is just throwing stuff out the window. Will do my best to relax...eat....be as loving as I can. Might still try to make it to SF.

Well, this is a little disturbing. I tried to do standing meditation like I did many times before and after 15 minutes my body started shaking around just like in Kunlun. And the ground is still shaking. Fuck.

copied to my jounral and here- I have my doubts now whether Kunlun is the right path for me. Obviously it seems to be working beautifully for some people. I am not sure it is balanced for me or not. I am still only sleeping maybe 2 hrs a night. I had a dream of David Shen's teacher Jiang Sifu. I won't beat around the Bush. I felt a pretty powerful conncetion that I can't even explain with Sean Denty and when we were eating lunch togethe rhad some really intereting transmission from him. Was like the energy of his teacher came into my shen. As I told Trunk...that weekend was alot. As of now..I am not going to pracitce kunlun for 1 week. I will do standing meditation(yiquan) every morning. That's all. I just want the energy to come down at this point. This is wild but does not feel balanced to me. I am having a hard time focusing at work and at school..not something I particularly enjoy. So..for now..will just stand every day. My feeling as of this moment is I will study with Ken Cohen or will take the plunge and try to study with David Shen. It is possible something might change. But as of this moment I will not post or comment or address questions or anything until after my week of standing. Blessings, Cam

Now you see why I make a big deal about brining energy down and standing meditation?

People keep asking about Red Phoenix. I won't talk about the practice. but here is my experience when I learned it... Max taught us RP I beleive on sunday. It is very simple. It was surreal experience for me getting taught and afterwards. Max was teaching it and standing right in front of me. I was listening to him explain from right behind and thinking this sounds really easy and not too big a deal. Somehow as he was teaching it something started to shift and I started to enter a kind of altered state. What was so strange was it was the simples practice but it must have been the transmission that did this too me... So...Sunday afternoon night Trunk, Sean Denty, Smile and me get lunch. Things were totally normal..no big deal..We ended up getting some good food and talking alot and by the time we left Trunk informed me that I had only like half and hour or something until my private sesshin with Max. Anyway..us 4 start going back to Trunks car. We drive back to the hotel and I say by to Smile and Sean and then Trunks rushes us back to his house. When I get to his house I jump in my car and drive back to the hotel. When I got to the hotel I was like 10 minutes late. I was freaking out trying to get upstairs..I was rushing. I get to the room and knock on the door. Max opens the door and is like can I help you? I go I am there for the private sesshin. He sort of looks a round and looks behind him at the dude that is already there. They had overbooked 3 people for the same time slot. He wassort of looking around not sure what to do and then gives me a pad(the whole pad not just the sheet) of Ramada Inn paper with Chris(Mantra) # on it .He looks at me and goes "Umm..call Chris.." I give him "thumbs up" and tell him not to worry about it...we will figure it out. I call Chris and left a message and then called him back after walking aorund the hotel for like half and hour and he goes..there is one more opening..for 1 PM tomorrow. I tell him "no problem..I will see you at the party tonight". Next I got in my car and start driving. I called Sean Omlor on the phone. I told him about some of my experiences that day. Not sure how long we talked for but at some point we stopped talking. That's when I basically had this Red Phoenix start to come up I think. I hadnt' really noticed it but the RP energy was going and going and going. I realized I was sitting at a gas station and not sure where I was. I had direcitons from Mapquest and the party started in about 2 hrs or something. I thought I would probably make it..then I started riving. Suddenly everyhting seemed so amazing to me. The road I ws driving on and the sky and the clouds. It was all so beautiful. I was no longerdirecting where I was going. I was just driivng wherever. I drove for maybe 2 hrs and then relaized I had no idea where I was. I found myself in some nice part of LA. I went to another gas station to see if I could get directions. When I got out of my car at the gas station there was a tree there that was so amazing to me. All I could think was "Wow...look at that tree". I went into the gas staiton and asked the guy for direcitons but basically couldn't stop laughing. I went into the bathroom..I had to pay a quarter to use the bathroom in the ga station which was so funny..I never seen anyone charge for bathroom before..LA is so funny! I stood in the bathroom and thought "no way I am making the party". I got out and asked the guy for directions. I couldnt' make sens eof what he was saying..was like he was joking with me about finding some place..I went outside and again am like "Wow..look at that tree..." This guy comes up to me and is like "Hey man..let me help..where are you trying to go?" I remeber Trunk lived..well..I won't say where he lived but gave the guy the city name and he tells me how to ge there..he is like you go here..then you go here..then you go there.." I go.."Hey man..do you think you can write that down for me?" He says no..he doesnt have a pen..so I thank him and get back in my car.. I start driving again and the RP is just insane..just opening up and man..just almost too, too much. I try to follow his directions but start driving around and I get lost and somehow I get lost in China Town. I get off and go to another gas station and get some drink or something. I ask the guy at the gas staiton where the way to where Trunk lives..and he tells me but I can't really understand what he is saying. A friend from Colorade called me while I was pacing the halls at the hotel about the 3 day workshop I was doing with Ken Cohen and Master Chen. He goes..he is moving to Denver but I am welcome to stay with his friend there who is a girl and she is nice or somehting. He is one of my best friends from Aikido and I tell him..I am waiting at hotel to talk to a Master..he is like the kind of pwoer like O'Sensei was or even higher. My friend is like "Cool dude". I then called Trunk who goes "I am on the other line Cam..do whatever..bye..oh I will leave you directions to the party ". So..I eneded up driving around China Town. I drive to the end of one street and there are 3 Chinese guys sitting outside this house smoking cigarettes. The smoke fills my car and I go "Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey...." They are speaking Chinese. One guy comes up to my car and I ask him how to get th where Trunk house is. He gives me direcitons. At this point I could barely focus on the road. I got to Trunks neihborhood somehow and called Smile at airport..he tells me he and Sean Denty were hanging out talking. I told him I am driving around. We say goodbye to eachother. I get to Trunks house after awhile and go upstairs. It felt like the ground underneath me was shaking. I keep getting this thing come up over and over since the workshop feels like the ground is shaking. Feels like if you are on a boat in the ocean and you feel the ocean moving under you..feels like that. Trunk got back like an hour later and came upstairs and asked for his keys..I had a hard time moving my body. I was basically feeling stuck..then he tells me "don't fall out the window". The ground felt like it wa shaking. Finally the next day I talk to Sifu Max. When I aksed him about the ground shaking feeling he said "Your awakining your dormant powers". He also told me always bring energy down after doing RF. I hope that is alteast somewhat helpful and gives you some insight into why there no way in hell I am explaining how to do this practice on a discussion board.

Man, This has been just amazing. Way beyond my wildest dreams. Ok..let me just try to have some little concept about what it has felt like for the last week. Basically..the oneness that is realaized and sustained is so real. Like unity..Tao..just feels like I am a fish swimming in the ocean of Tao. My really deep dark crap has been getting released(as some friends of mine on the board can probably note) but the most profound thing is this total 'opening' to all that has happened in this lifetime. Most noticebaly conneciton to childlike, innocence. Also...seems to be wild levels of synchronicty and almost like this sense of 'working with the universe' like sort of catching things before they happen. Like people are mostly characters in this dream state called life and this practice opens you to the truth..that it is all God's play. It is a little difficult at times for sure. It is a bit challenging to be so in the ehad for so many years..really just 'asleep' and then basically have the rug pulled out from under you like this. It's like playing a video game and you think you are this character in the game..but then 'wake up' that your just an imaginary little blip on the tv screen. The real you is something so vast and undescibeable you just feel like laughing about it. I will do my best to try to make it to SF. Also, since being in Max's presence the celibacy thing has been a non issue. I don't know if Max did something to me energetically or what but it feels like the energy is basically 'locked' down there. Like it has nowhere to go but up. Anyway..the not sleeping thing has been a little weird but I am finding some solice in just laying down now. Like just being still in bed. I don't know..I imagine in ancient Egypt they would do all sorts of stuff and I know Max is a master in that school too. Well..anyway..I porbably shouldn't go on too much. But the time you said Max is a "system breaker" just makes total sense to me now. It can be a scary thing to break the system but also probably what is encissary for us crazy humans to evolve.

Thanks Craig. Yup. Max and Smile both said the same thing to me..relax. The thing is..when all this energy opens up it is pretty mind blowing so to just say "relax", well....you know I am going to add my combat conditioning excercises back in for the first time since the workshop tomorrow morning. Will be interested to see how doing hard physical excercise balances the energy out. A friend of mine basically grew up in India and has done Kundalini Yoga for years and he looked at me and goes "man, you are waaaaaay out there..relax..breathe..relax..breathe". So..will do my best to relax and breathe

Nice.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=zC7zl1XLgUI&amp...ted&search=

edit- I didn't mean to call Smile little. He is a powerful being and my Tao Brother and if I get enlightened from practicing the system he told me about I will buy him pizza from anywhere in NYC he wants. Might even buy a whole pie..and mountain dew. bazooka joe

I am going to take the rest of the week off Kunlun and just do zazen. To say the energy/transmission/spirit of this has been a bit overwhelming would be an udnerstatement. I am totally in the unknown with this..and I jsut want to make sure this is balanced with..you know..the life thing... I am not joking here. I need some time to process this. It may just be the way it is being taught is new. Mantra told me on the phone if this was ancient China they would stick me in a cave for a month. That is both interesting..like cool..a fun adventure..I get to go a week without sleeping and basically into a little kid again..I am serious..I could just as soon go outside and play on the swings and jungle gym. That is fun..but as Mantra said..not the way it has been done. Frankly..I would rather be put into a cave to process this. But that's not how this working out. Mantra and Max I apologize for mentioning things you told me privately. I called Max's number to talk to him about it and no answer and this was just too much so feel i need to discuss it. I havent diceded if I will be coming to SF or not. Probably would be fun but I want to make sure things are balanced. namaste Fuck, I think I might be turning into a snake. *eats pizza and drinks coke*

My sense of it now is Kunlun CAN be too much. I feel it has been more or less destiny at this point that my Russian friend from NY called me and said to check it out but there is ALOT of supportive work that needs to be included along this path. The major issue I see is the importance of grounding the energy. I won't beat around the bush because I feel this issue is too important to neglect. Max told me in private meeting if you do Red Phoenix too much without bringing energy down you can go crazy. Now I will say something else. I like Max and he has opened new worlds for me but I feel the emphasis on bringing energy down was underemphasized. It was sort of like..yeah..bring it down. That's fine because I am, have been and will be studying with master Ken Cohen who places standing emditation as the foundation of qigong. But it is enough of an potential issue for me tob ring it up here. If I get more conenced to this lineage and go deeper with Max I would teach yiquan standing as a prerequiste before teaching Kunlun. Ime serious. Kunlun and Red Phoenix are no joke. Easily the most pwoerful practice I have learned. Even still...20 minutes sitting hands over navel is not enough..not even close. I would say 1 hour embrace the tree before or after doing Level 1 should be mandatory. To be fair to Sifu Max..I have not learned the Maoshan 5. It sounds like they might be useful for grounding. But again..he didn't teach that. He taught us level 1 and Phoenix. It has been awesome. But to say I am grateful I was conencted with Ken Cohen before taking up this practice would be a Grand Canyon sized udnerstatement. love and bliss, Cam

BJJ is awesome and I enjoy it but my main interest is awakening and helping others. I cant' afford another injury. Shingi/Bagua would probably be most in harmony with Kunlun and Smile reccomend it. Smile is right about most everything(which is rather annoying). However..I also have deep conncetion to Aikido and think maybe I should stay with that. I sat in on Aikido class last night almost started crying. My feeling is Aikido might be able to help transmit kunlun energy faster..or be more powerful to help the earth to heal. I will probably have to wait until I get back from SF to make a decision. Ok, no posting for a week.

Also..let me know who is ok letting me use them as my "official" friend so I get an extra discount off the seminar.. I am thinking Todd if he can make it or The Learner if he can make it but let me know who can be my backup official friend. Help save Cam some $!

I think I am transforming into a Gummi Bear.

I am taking the next week off posting. As far as it goes now I will stay at the hotel I guess. What to say? This is it..no doubt in my mind..my guess is this is going to be one heck of a wild ride..I can see why Max says you will let go of other practices..except for maybe my martial arts it sort of becomes "why even bother with anything else?" Happy bouncing!

Hehe..lighten up guys..I wasn't trying to say anything. Just telling bad jokes is all

Not bad I guess. My female teacher is way better though

Max's diet is awesome.

Ok..maybe I should just drop the joking here..well..atleast until a couple more bums are on 'the level'. Love Camel