Sahaj Nath

? it would seem that none of us have done a very good job of helping YOU if you're still wasting your time and energy with that clown looking around for... i don't know what. let it go already. or don't. whatever.

mantis is right. and there just seems to be WHOLE LOT you don't understand about the drugs OR spirituality. your response to mantis comes across as if you haven't done any real study. i was going to wait until the evening, but i'll go ahead and send you a message as soon as i'm done with this pot of tea. (priorities, you know. )

yeah, i figured it was something like that. i'll send you a private message later on this evening.

you don't live that far from me. maybe 2 hours drive. there are 50 things on the tip of my tongue, but to write them here would render them useless to you. how old are you? 25. how long have you been using psychedelics, and how often? you sound as if you've been so eclectic in your spiritual studies that you might lack the foundation to interpret a taoist divination tool. which is fine. that's partly why you're asking the question. but i'd say that consulting the I Ching has already served it's purpose if it brought you here. you quite honestly can let the rest go and allow your search from this point forward to unfold organically, with regard to this particular matter. i'd be willing to talk and maybe even meet with you, but i'd like you to answer my questions above.

Sean, will you be my Master?

that was GOLDEN!!!

geez, with an attitude like that, i can't wait to tell you EVERYTHING! how about you spend more than "a few minutes browsing" if it's something you care to explore. out of *RESPECT* the general rule has been that if you want to know about the practice, buy the book ($15) or borrow it from someone here. THEN you can experiment with it for a while, just like the rest of us.

nope. well, define what you mean by "inspired" and "mostly." it's kind of a tricky subject. though most modern witches refuse to give him his due, Aleister Crowley is believed to have written the Wiccan Rede and taught ritual and theory to Gerald Gardener, who is heralded as the grandfather of witchcraft. so one can argue Egyptian influence, via Crowley. however, there are many branches of witchcraft that don't trace back to Gardener, some of which are newly developed, and some of which claim greater antiquity and an unbroken lineage. Italian Strega comes to mind. many lines of witchcraft arose organically, like shamanism. if fact, it WAS/IS a type of shamanism. Wicca was a word that denoted a special kind of wisdom. 'Wic' meant to bend. The Wicca were the wise ones who could bend consciousness and change reality. at least that's what Starhawk said. most witchcraft and paganism today is truly "new age" though. no hereditary link to the past. the beauty of it, and what attracted me to it when i was younger, is that it is a living religion. no need for old texts (accept for maybe old recipes and whatnot). real connection to nature and the subtle forces in the here and now. Scott Cunningham's Wicca: A Guide for the Solitary Practitioner was the book that first compelled me to embrace Wicca. it validated so much of what was naturally a part of me. (too bad i couldn't have met SFjane around that time, but whatevs.) Paganism isn't related at all to Egypt, in any fashion, as far as i know. almost all the pagan traditions were created in the past 50 years.

most folks who offer things here at TTB say how much they want for the item(s). i'd rather not bid, but i like to collect and study EVERYTHING, so i wouldn't mind buying it from you if you tell me what you want for it. i'll at least think about it. i've bought stuff here before.

many of the books recommended are WAY too sophisticated for an eight-year-old, though YOU might get a kick out of them. believe it or not, i was a witch once upon a time. 3 names of some fun and accessible authors: Amber K Scott Cunningham Silver Ravenwolf Silver really goes out of her way to make it fun. she's a great place to start for a child, i think. she's a little obnoxious to a lot of adults, though. for foundational material on Wicca: Spiral Dance by Starhawk and Drawing Down the Moon by Margot Adler. both were released on the same day. Spiral Dance in California, and Drawing Down the Moon in New York. they are must reads for anyone who really wants to understand the feminine/feminist aspect of modern paganism. also: Buckland's book has already been suggested. not as fun as some other books, but very informative. A Witch's Bible by Janet and Stuart Farrar. again, VERY informative. not very fun. western magick's a whole other ball of wax. if i were you, for your daughter, i'd leave that western magick stuff alone and play with Wicca. but if you want recommendations for that, i can oblige. i was a member of Ordo Templi Orientis once upon a time. if you don't know, look it up.

Agreed. we now return to your regularly scheduled program.

ah, yeah. forgot about this thread. sorry. what was unclear? by "hash out" i simply meant "debate," but i thought it was a softer way to say it because i didn't want to come across too confrontational. i got the reiki master initiation back in '97 from a guy who was stronger than any other 'reiki master' i've met to this day. i never refer to myself as a master, though. and i too have seen what many would call miracles. that's not really the point, though. kundalini awakening is a different order of magnitude from what most practitioners of these 'vocational modalities' (reiki, pranic healing) have experienced. you're totally right about reiki people not being taught how to take care of themselves or cultivate their power. i have found basically the same thing to be true with most pranic healers. whatever cultivation practices they knew, they certainly didn't seem to be doing enough of them. not one of them were ready to deal with the energy imbalances i was experiencing back when things sucked. not one of them. and there are lots of them in northern california. they all treated the energy as if it were just some tool of their trade. they had very little intimate understanding of the nervous system changes or the psychological components. now that may not be true for all of them, just as it's not true for all reiki practitioners, but as a general rule, it's true enough. reiki masters, in general, have mastered NOTHING. hiding insecurity and ignorance behind an ego-inflating title. the pranic healers i know have a much stronger working knowledge of the energy bodies, chakras, and nadis. this book knowledge, however, didn't equip them with the capacity to deal with my issues. none of them had gone through kundalini. i'm still not sure that *I* have gone through it! but what i DID go through was energetically beyond their capacity to handle. my symptoms would ease for a time because my energy would drain into them. then THEY would feel sick and dizzy and all sorts of stuff, and after they would balance out they would be buzzing with energy. MY energy. i felt like i was paying them to give them more energy, and my problem wasn't being handled. so that's been my experience with both pranic healers AND reiki masters. i have little respect for either modality. neither is a complete discipline. both are lacking in the cultivation department. that being said, i also realize that "pranic healer" is a generic term, so maybe there IS a school of pranic healers who develop real skill. i don't know. but if there are, they're clearly in short supply in my area.

right on. see, that's just it. i WOULDN'T. i wouldn't laugh, or mock, or call you a liar. but you seem to sometimes be really quick to do those things to others when you don't know what they know, or where they've been. this is one of those instances where it stings to call it like i see it, because it sort of takes one to know one. i have a similar tendency to be pre-judgmental, but i'm getting better. i also have an arrogance thing, and i don't work all that hard at correcting that trait. if you HAVE had those experiences, it's still up to you to take from those experiences the right lessons. awareness of the limits and general ignorance of the ego consciousness should probably be somewhere in those lessons. all of this holds true for me as well. GOD KNOWS i'm no saint. but this is all in love. i have no ill will toward you whatsoever. and i think your last statement on Qi Dao is both fair and open, rather than abrasive and closed off. so right on. take care, brother.

not that you care, but this is kind of thing that rubbed me so wrong about you. you make tremendously sweeping judgments about things you don't know enough about. the last time i suggested you do more homework you got your panties in a bunch and you couldn't drop the issue for like a month. as a general rule, any declaration that starts with "All true [insert subject here]..." tends to be an overstatement, an exaggeration, and insufficiently supported by data. you tend to support such claims with attitude more than you do data of any kind. it's not just that you can be a jerk about things, it's that so many of your points lack credibility because your arrogance seems to prevent you from doing the necessary work to make a legitimate case for yourself. so you end up presenting yourself like a petulant child. i think there are probably some strong and fair criticisms that can be made about this system, but i don't think you're close to making them. and just like before, i'm not alone in that opinion.

Indeed. Welcome, Friend.

Yes! i sent a link to a few of my students. i'll let you know if we talk about something interesting related to it.

question to you long-time players out there: do you practice the form on both sides, or just one? i'm only recently exploring the beauty of tai chi chuan, and i must admit, i'm falling in love with it (the classical yang form). i'm practicing on both sides, but it's never being taught that way. i'm curious as to why.

absolutely! you're not gonna find a higher level master who teaches so openly! the world is a better place because of him. and the sheer genius of his words is all the transmission any of us will ever need. well, that and his pajamas.

wow, i didn't know you actually LIVED in RC for a while! okay, so THAT'S how you knew... um... our mutual friend. what a loss for me that i never ran into you back then. i was still wandering aimlessly in the dark, trying to figure it all out for myself with no practical foundation to start from. and Master Ninja-Prince was so busy trying to be important that he didn't seem to have time to waste on actual cultivation. it would have made a world of difference if i had met you back then. i spent many nights down by the river in those days. many nights at various parks. somehow this comforts me to know that there WAS someone out there drawn to the same thing that drew me out there, but someone who understood what i didn't. it was always my hope to find you, but i started to think myself crazy. luckily, i became fine with being crazy. wow, we REALLY need to get together soon.

for me it was the ruthless band of mosquitoes! LOL!

everything is connected. so you will deal with past life stuff no matter what approaches you take to resolving your dilemma. this is true for every living person. all of our unresolved past life issues are manifest right here, right now. no real need to 'go there.' but if that sort of thing speaks to you, then by all means. now for some straight talk. i'm going on the assumption it being a kundalini issue, and i'm assuming that you're going through some pretty serious stuff right now, and that you're serious about evolving your way through it. so based on that assumption... your "circumstances" are weak excuses. we're talking about your life, bro. it's not a matter of collecting a few accessories that you can put into your lifestyle at your own convenience. you need to get real about what's going on and be ready AND WILLING to make some significant lifestyle shifts if necessary. now, it may not be necessary, but your openness to that possibility is important. resistance will generate suffering. bottom line, you probably need to make time for this, and make resources for a guide who has the skill to help you. things can get a lot worse for you. you need to understand that. you may need to quit your job at some point. you may be bed-ridden for a time, or from time to time (it happened to me). you may start to have those 'attacks' at random times throughout the day and they may affect your ability to interact with others for a while. and i'm not at all trying to scare you. you just need to know this. the energy is so much bigger than who and what you may think you are. it's the real you, in a sense. and the path to wholeness can be amazing, but you need to realize that the universe doesn't necessarily give a shit about your other plans. in many ways, the greater your resistance, the greater (and probably longer) your suffering. i have a student right now who's going through some of the stuff you've described internally. externally he's dealing with the burning in the feet and the same stuff in the feet that you describe in your hands. he's got one foot way more intense than the other, which told me volumes about what he's been doing and what he hasn't been doing in his practices. he's slowing working out his kinks on his own. better for him than having to defer to me for everything. he knows i'm here if it gets to be too much, but he also knows the importance of having the courage to really listen to and rely on himself. so for the most part i just offer little pointers from time to time. for the most part, though, he's enjoying the ride, and he's handling his daily obligations with grace. and some "problems" aren't really problems at all. that's something worth keeping in mind. some things may simply need to run their course, and your greatest task will be to just get out of the way. the 'attacks' you experience might be among them. they suck, yes. but they suck more because you're identifying with them. the instinct stuff can be overcome, not by suppression, but by surrender. it may take time, but time you've got. so that's all i've got for now. i hope some of this is helpful to you and anyone else who might be dealing with this kind of thing. P.S. Vajrasattva might be able to be of most benefit to you. he's good about responding to people if you send him a PM. maybe he'll see this post and comment.

BO, i'm not the only one on this board, but i am both a teacher and a healer, and i've been through the trials you're currently experiencing, and then some. the only reason i'm commenting is because i think some TERRIBLE advice has been given that will potentially do you more harm than good. i'm not trying to pick a fight with anyone, but you're already dealing with enough stuff and the last thing you want to do is make matters worse. one big question: are you now or have you at any point experienced spontaneous movements with either bending/folding the the body into stretches, or wild arm movements or involuntarily blurting out sounds or speaking in tongues? anything in the ballpark of what i'm describing? please give details. **don't jump into any qigong or tai chi or hatha or anything else until you answer this question.** okay, now that THAT'S out of the way, let me start with the major don'ts: **DON'T EXPEL EXCESS ENERGY FROM THE TOP OF YOUR HEAD!** i can't believe that no one else stepped up to say that. this is an easy way to REALLY fuck yourself up! i know rex meant well, but clearly he's never been where you are. also, if you're already experiencing excess heat in your feet, i imagine you're already naturally releasing energy into the ground. there are some decent qigong practices for grounding and rooting, but don't just rely on intent. you're dealing with way too much energy, and so you need to be employing disciplined technique to do it safely and effectively. don't waste your money on robert peng's stuff. if you're going to do a home study course, go with spring forest qigong. additionally, i agree with jedi and mikaelz that you're very likely experiencing kundalini syndrome, and if jedi has been there, you should take him up on his offer of PM discussion. however, i disagree with jedi's rejection of eating meat. dietary issues with respect to this kind of thing is never a 'one size fits all' matter. listen to your body. lean meat might be exactly what you need. greasy red meat might take the edge off by giving the excess energy in your body something to break down. there's really no telling what's gonna be most beneficial, and it will certainly change over time. there may even be a period when you need to stop eating altogether for a while. also, i wouldn't be so quick to work with a pranic healer. most of them are no more adept than reiki healers. the problem is that most of them are not balanced enough themselves, and they have never opened to the level of energy that you are experiencing. some of them may end up hurting themselves while trying to "balance" you because of osmosis. they'll probably drain some energy from you and that might be soothing for a short while, but you won't gain a whole lot from them. they tend to lack the real skill and depth necessary for what you're dealing with. you need a healer who's been there and done that with the kundalini. mikaelz is for sure familiar with what you're going through. his perspective is very much worth considering as he continues to find his way through it. more to come.