thelerner

Growing up, my family argued using heavy sarcasm. We weren't enlightened but bitingly witty.

Reminiscent of a pretty good book, 'Replay'. Where at 53 a man dies, goes back to his adolescence, lives to the same date, dies again, and again, reliving his life, making changes, trying to make it better. But each time he goes back later in his original life, til he replays closer and closer to his inevitable death. It has some good philosophy on what makes a good life.

If no chi gung nearby, a good martial art dojo might help with a few of those. Most provide an excellent work out, hopefully some weapon work or contact to sharpen the awareness. Some even have healing techniques. These days, I'm thinking, just joining something, especially with a gradual long term learning process, being part of an organization has great merits for enjoying life more.

I come from an Aikido background. Part of it is a deep understanding of body mechanics. Another part is relaxation and extension. Not using strength or rather not as its conventionally felt. For example my sensei told us: "A Tai Chi grandmaster used to say he'd allow his student to use 4 ounces (or was it 2?) of force, but in Aikido I'll let you use 4 pounds." Similarly O'Sensei is reported to have told a woman who came to see him when he was in his 70's, "I have a chance to understand Aiki because I am old, You have a good chance to because you are a woman". What he meant was, neither of them could rely on strength. Similarly my sensei complained he'd never be truly great because he never went through a traumatic weakening experience. O'Sensei was a pretty weak kid, and had sickly bouts later on. People like Bruce Lee and Koichi Tohei had broken backs. There's no substitute for proper technique and body mechanics, but I feel in any martial art, when chi/ki/crazy greatness develops there is an effortlessness, non-strength being used. So even a boxer like Mohammad Ali, talks about the 20 years it took him to know and throw a jab. I expect by the end, it threw itself and felt effortless because all the power moved in one direction, instead of when you feel strong, inwhich case your feeling muscle fighting against its counter muscle.

I don't believe the two years were wasted. Maybe you didn't achieve the super lofty 1 in a million goal (in 2 short years), but that doesn't mean nothing gained. Looking back, what have you improved or insights gained in terms of concentration, meditation, philosophy, growth? even on the rubble of shattered dreams, we sit a little higher, think; a little wiser and move a little stronger.

yup .

For me, humor and the concept of the SEP field work. An important part of humor is not taking things too seriously. Seeing the funny side of things. even the negatives one..within reason and hoping no one gets too mangled. It comes from getting distance from the situation and appreciating the soap opera nature of of so much of human interaction, along with the knowledge we don't really know how things will end. The SEP field is also about distance and perspective. It stands for Somebody Else's Problem. It's letting the person and world know 'Good luck with that', letting go of emotional entanglement (possibly impossible depending on the situation) and going on with your day. Compartmentalizing. As cold and regressive as the above sounds, it allows you to keep communication and goodwill open. Versus making demands that won't be listened to and when and if disaster befalls you can't help pick up the pieces. And as OldWolf said, some people have to touch the hot stove in order to learn. For them its a necessary step that can't be avoided.

True. Anything that hits the brain reward centers so directly has a chance to get addictive. I think the middle ground is best, neither 'it's evil and you'll go blind' or 'do it all the time'. Some sort of middle ground or perhaps a little more on the disciplined side. At best it can add spice to a relationship, at worst it becomes a substitute for one, even a barrier. We are the middle of a new age, ie in that it is so easy to get, in every computer and smart phone. In the 70's and 80's magazines were .. coveted. Even earlier there forbidden nature made them desirable, there were many publishers. With such easy access to porn, absolutely free, its.. boring..? I've always found adult films, boring, redundant, I know how they end. Maybe the problem is modern isolation. Less courtship..

There's a world of difference between moving a photon and something a little.. heavier. They need to experiment on something larger.. like socks. Though who knows, perhaps they already have and each of us unknowingly has a time machine in our laundry.

I think most of the 'programming' is already hard wired into us. Our 'obsession' with sex, I think its in every generation, certainly young adults. As far as porn, I'm in the everything in moderation camp. I'm not much of a user so I don't really notice any programming. Certainly anything illegal or underage should be closed down and punished. Once you get past adolescence I hope people mature beyond, you must 'this or that' or this size is sexy and that size isn't. I don't like that on either side of the fence. If anything seems to me there's less porn then there used to be. In the 1980's every movie needed a gratuitous nude scene, magazine shops had porn issues, I don't see that as much. Though HBO hits are generally filled with sex and violence. Course I prefer sex to the violence.

Are there any implications in Not logging out? Does it affect anything or really matter? Cause I never do, just close the window and go on my merry way. And so far, so good .

What I find as I've gotten older is people solve decide there problem quickly, lightening fast. The time spent 'logically' thinking is often rationalizations after the fact. Not necessarily bad, but a tendency we have to watch out for. This tendency is easily seen by friends, but harder to catch personally. I suppose the comfortable answer is more likely to be the rationalized one.

thread seems worthy of a 'bump'

If you've stated your opinions clearly, and I think you have. Why don't you'all give this thread a break and start one on a more focused subject?

eloquent. don't know what you wrote but there's eloquence to silence .

tell us more. where do you feel the pain? is the stress mental, from trying to keep a quiet mind? what do you think is its source? For physical pain, one word. Zafu. Sitting on a firm cushion that's a couple inches high, takes pressure off the knees and back. A blanket/thin cushion under the legs and knees makes sitting easier. After meditating for over a decade from Stillness Movement Chi gung I learned I didn't need to be stone still. A little natural continuous 'bob' made sitting way easier and burned off a little excess energy.

Kind of belly, or rather a couple inches below the belly button and internal. There are whole books written on the dan tien. Different systems have there own interpretation. In Shin Shin Toitsu Ki Aikido, the Dan tien was the center of balance, our pivot point, an important focal point; to place thoughts and drop our energy. Those who took the 'dan tien as center of the universe' paradigm seriously ended up with awesome stability. i never got there.

Again, no criticism, I'd love to see discussions on it, criticism free on all ends. I think it can be very instructive to everyone to know how rigorous it is, ie how long daily sitting lasts. Seemingly little things like breathwork during meditation. Cultural things, how it interprets Buddhism and any unusual beliefs that add to cultivation in unique ways.

Please don't get me wrong. I welcome the teachers, the sincere, the hardcore. I'd love nothing more then to see serious threads and keep them ontrack. That was the impetus for a new section where the original writer keeps full control of the thread.

maybe, but inevitably he'll have the same lines thrown at him. Law of IUS <and there is certainly.. fluff on the board.. not necessarily a bad thing> **Internet Unhappiness Syndrome

You might still end up in exactly the same place. People dissing what you write as coming from Fake Immortals. Posts about fake techniques, fake dantiens, microcosmic orbits and there arrogant superiority. While the threads here do talk about experiences extremely few mention talks to immortals or visiting Lao Zi. That's what you've glomed onto. Instead of finding or creating and sustaining worthwhile threads, its easy to criticize members who's focus is elsewhere or considered not 'Tao' enough. We do have heavy hitters here, people of experience and dedication, but they out numbered by those who are just starting out and want to learn more. The Dao Bums want a medium where all are welcome. You'll find if your site lasts long enough you'll be hit the same criticisms, you're giving us, that you're a fake, teaching wrong doctrines and not serious enough. It comes with the territory. I encourage those who are looking for hard core, to create threads in the Tao Discussion area (usually less fluff), protected areas or PPD's where they have more control and can find others and share there experiences, teach and learn.

Yes, , I call it coffee, w/ a french press. Working mixed shifts can be a killer for ones wakefulness. If you sleep during meditation, then that's exactly what your body needs. It's not so bad. Still keeping the lights on and attention to your posture helps. Meditations can be done standing too. Which reminds me. There's a body hack that uses strong coffee or a double espresso. You drink then immediately nap, from what I hear its oddly rejuvenating - https://blog.bulletproof.com/coffee-naps-bulletproof-power-nap/ . Half technique, half drug..

Death is still a very taboo subject in the West. It can be hard and awkward to talk about. Indian traditions have power stories that create a common bond and soothe a troubled mind. We have movies, powerful, often manipulative stories that open us up a bit. I wonder if watching a movie like 'What Dreams May Come' https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/What_Dreams_May_Come_(film)w/ Robbin Williams that has an optimistic take on death would be a good route to create an opening for conversation? A good movie and popcorn can be way more powerful in affecting a mood then people realize.

This video has good information on the science behind the Wim Hof Method. I can't vouch for its accuracy, but its very well done.

Get your affairs in order. Gather your loved ones. Be with them, talk about your life and legacy. Set your mind in a place of peace as best you can. Surrender and blend. side note* anticipate and keep ahead of pain with what tools and narcotics are available. side note2* Maybe not a good idea springing a new religion on someone at that point.