Upfromtheashes

yes this happens to him as well music is a strong trigger for his episodes upfromtheashes do you have any idea what caused your psychotic behavior to begin? I believe I was predisposed to it or born with it to some degree Parents did some extreme Kundalini practices when I was being conceived

Yo Jane Thanks for the Great Posts ! Well In regards to my personal history I have been on boatloads of medication in the past - Every type imaginable from anti-psychotics to anti-seizure meds to anti-depressants In very High Doseages I have had electro shock therapy - 30 - 35 medications often multiple ones at once - I do not know the answer to this puzzle - I would say that having good morals and being an unselfish person will help one to stay present and deal with psychosis but you know this is not true I have times where I am present and I have times where it is just like no matter what I do it just isnt happening It is a very interesting question how much can spirit acually overcome? For me there are very weird things going on like strong changes in smell - moods and personalitys that change every few seconds - Sometimes being too scared to move - I mean I cant move and my body aches so bad - so I use chi - alignment - posture - breathing - intent - concentration - everything - and yet there is something I havent gotten - I mean how much can one acually cover up with spirit? I have found lots of techniques which work as being on your back unable to move can be very motivating It is very frustrating to feel love for a woman one hour and then feel nothing the next and not being able to tell what is going on - See that is the thing - in some regards it almost feels like being autistic You have great discipline you have something very strong in you - a consciousness - I dont know how many people have it - I have it but only sometimes 7 years ago I realized meds were not the answer for me - This is a very tough path and takes a lot of courage - Your family just wants you to take medication because that is what people do - So you explain to them - The more meds I am on the more I lose my mind - And the thing is that a lot of these feeling are seductive in some cases - It feels good to feel good - I mean shit If I let myself go I can burn out my energy getting euphoric on listening to music - This can cause mania - so music can be like a drug - and one can alter their consciousness at will I agree - you can reprogram yourself completely - so you are watching this new person and thinking this feels so weird - And acually being not manic and not phychotic can be so weird - And the thing is though in these states "powers" really do manifest - I mean their is schizophrenic delusion but there is lots of real magic This is very fun - I remember a post you made a while back about playing Dungeons and Dragons and thinking you can control the dice rolls - Well in my experience this is very possible - When all ones energy is in ones head - and one has faith and luck and intent and joy and fun and tons of enthusiasm - when ones life is on the line at every moment - Yup magic happens - It happens often - Not Telekinesis controlling things but intent - combined with surrender - and bliss in the head - So it can be hard to integrate - Let magic take over - Live a life of complete magic Or take a practical means to living - Can magic pay your rent ? Sometimes - Courage to be what is in ones heart You talk about believing you could make people explode - Well it is definitely possible to manifest lots of things What is moral manifestation ? What is Proper use of intent and energy ? In zen Meditation they say "better than any wish fulfilling jewel" Well what use is wish fulfillment without peace in ones heart - The Hard part isnt getting what you want It is having the wisdom to ask for the right thing - or intend the right thing And shit there is something in the back of my brain clawing at it that I want to say but cant express - I have not figured out how to plug in - There are so many possiblities and maybe only one - Do you know what it is like to lie in a mental hospital with people screaming in pain - and your mother comes to visit and starts screaming at you - To have electro convulsive therapy - Then "wake up" at the toilet puking your guts out - to be around people and not feel anything -to have reality change every few seconds - Sobriety is very important - What do I do when I cant move? I get up and do a specific action - I comb my hair or brush my teeth - The worst thing is not a brain filled with fear or even terror - It is a brain that cannot function - that stares blankly into space - So yeah I mean lets let this all go - Lets find solutions- Lets kick the ass of these demons once and for all or laugh and have a beer with them - To anyone doing there best or who has been knocked down I smile at you

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Hey Fellow Bums - I was curious about peoples opinions on specializing in certain skills or spiritual traditions or mastering one or the other - Drawbacks for me of specialization include stagnation, obsession, narrow minded thinking etc - However there seems to be something to be said for mastering something especially in regards to finances and the "real world" Right Now I find myself wanting to do and learn a ton about everything - Not only spiritual traditions but it could be something like music - You know I want to sing/ I want to dance / I want to play guitar - And well learning one skill well definitely has implications for other skills - But it also seems easy to get scattered as well I am thinking like work on something intensely for 2 weeks or so at least but you know I am having so much fun learning about lots of stuff

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Ok in regards to the Sith Lord analogy as well as not being able to handle juice - 3 Years back for a long time I had even less of a clue what I was doing in regards to energy than I do now Many nights starting at around 10 PM or so I could rub my arm on my couch and bring my hand close to it - Lightning which reminded me of the Sith Lord in return of the Jedi would come out from my hands -This would travel like 6 inches or so I would get up from bed completely insane- sometimes I sensed entities in my apartment - Other times just a strong darkness. touch the wall and sparks would crackle under my fingers- One time There was a moderately thick string of electricity that lasted for a few seconds that went from my nose to the couch - I was engaged in some extreme dietary, sexual and energetic practices at the time -

Santi Posts like this are very Helpful Clarity is appreciated so Much - Hey for those who are reading this thread and who are asking questions about whether Santi and Susan are authentic teachers - Well My perspective is this I choose to give energy to Santi and Receive energy from him and Meditate on his spirit because of a couple things - One is that what he describes from his personal experience rings true with what I have experienced - Another reason is His spirit and Glen Morris spirit - When Reading Morris or Books by Hatsumi what comes through more than the techniques is the spirit - What is beneath the words and I feel this in Santis writings - So this is not meant to kiss Santis ass or Susans - or say he has something or doesnt For me it was relatively simple on some levels - A lot of confusion fear and instability are with me always - - And yet my instincts and feelings like what Santi is U know this is a question I always ask or have asked when hearing talks by Lamas - Looking around the room at people who are completely confused and have no clue - And feeling these feelings in my self often - What to do if one just does not get it ? Well Divine grace and exposing oneself to what one wants to become - So the stakes are kind of high when Picking a model or a spirit to meditate on - Good to have ability to discern gold from Shit Wisdom comes into play here - Personal experience - intuition - Luck and Divine Grace ? One thing I have not reconciled is issues of character and advanced energy practices - Santi talks of a Sith Lord Archetype - Morris speaks of Saints and Psychopaths if I remember correctly and says something to the affect that psychopaths or those possesed by the dark side can have just as much energy as saints - Personally I have experienced some very dark, selfish states - A spirit kind of like when Frodo is about to throw the ring of power into the pit and cant ("the Ring of Power is Mine!" One thing I am not clear on as I have not cut through the illusion of duality - well I have seen it and have some wisdom regarding it but nothing to reduce suffering on a continuing basis - These Sith Lord Archetypes and self serving - Is there something they are missing or are they really some sort of dark Buddha? It seems like one is still buying into or at least placing too much importance on a separate self - These types do not have the ever present peace in their hearts that goes deep that you talk about Santi? Another conclusion in regards to behavior - A philosophical statement of mine which cuts through surface behaviors - Personality Quirks "The Greatest gift one being can give to another is the chance to evolve " A chance - How cool is that Magic- Possibility - Wonder A Chance Susan Girls in Jedi Cloaks Rock!

Heys Santi Thanks a lot for the healing and Shakti I believe downloading is a good word and your shaktipats have been as helpful as the healing energy I believe some teachers give shaktipats or a form of it just when buying there books or at least this has been my experience I have had experiences in the past couple of years of being able to pick things up very quickly However I seem to go in and out of "genius" mode and idiot mode - There are times when everything is simple and effortless - I will write things in a journal that are true wisdom - Then a couple days later I will be in idiot mode and read my writings and it will be like someone else wrote them - Same things with people - Personality changes - sometimes I am very uncomfortable around people - sometimes very calm and humble - other times very narcissistic and rigid - other times very confident - Cycle in and out of feeling women are the most wondrous creatures in the world and not being able to feel anything at all - It is frustrating to have a genuine connection with my heart and lose it over and over and only have pseudo bliss feelings to take its place In regards to energy movement intent and channeling it is so powerful that one moment I will barely have enough energy to walk and then the next I feel like an olympic sprinter - A smile and a kind word does a lot especially from a girl with good energy Have been getting high on my adrenals my whole life - The slightest contractions in muscles with certain intents can provide tremendous energy to the body Psychosis which is managed by deep breathing from right above the genitals or sometimes the feet - In regards to downloading sometimes while golfing I would acually become the hole - maybe where the phrase be the ball comes in - when this happens the body takes over and impossible stuff tends to happen like chipping in without trying - seeing every contour on the green and every detail and color of blades of grass - Sometimes water tastes super sweet Other times I have no sense of smell - then I can smell everything - all of my shirts and the sweat smells they have had on them for years is overpowering - Other people and their unique scents - Lately taste has been like 10 times more sensitive - And women are so pretty

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Happy Birthday to you !!

Santiago could you elaborate a bit on how to incorporate mantra into ones training?

A great Book Filled with Clarity Cuts Through a lot of bullshit and gives many Practical techniques and an honest viewpoint on enlightenment and spirituality Glen's Viewpoint is very inspiring http://www.amazon.com/Path-Notes-American-...mp;sr=8-1-fkmr0

Yo Santi Cool stuff man Thanks for the healing today

Up to the top for a very generous teacher Thanks Santi

Hello Fellow Bums I have a sexual relationship with a woman and recently we had an incident where the condom came off during sex- There was no ejaculation however we are both a bit concerened regarding the possiblity of pregnancy - Is it possible for a woman to become pregant from pre-cum? Also is semen retention an effective means of birth control? We are considering the morning after pill however I have concerns regarding negative health affects on her body Thanks Ric

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Well thanks for the replys - This is a tough decision - There is no way either of us are ready for a kid - The chances are very small however there is a chance - Would anyone here have any idea of the effects both energetically and physically on a woman taking birth control pills on an ongoing basis? or the morning after pill?

Cool Video Thank You

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Keep Going, Keep Playing Smile

Hey Santi you know one of the times you sent me energy I was in the middle of a transmission -or a reading/transmission performed by a llama - I was impressed by his knowledge and sincerity and there seemed to be boatloads of information between the lines - although it was basically just an introductory outline to the Bodhisatva path - I was very impressed by the Llamas sincerity and clarity My best friend from childhood lives at the Red Tara House in Ithaca - I would be interested to know more information regarding what happens on this path I definitely felt it was genuine and the llama spoke with true wisdom - This is my friends path - He is at the beginning but seems very sincere I spoke with the Lama afterwards - told him I believed his path was a true one and yet I saw other true paths in christianity - martial arts etc In regards to kissing a lamas ass - Surely the llamas wouldnt hold back information just for personal power trips or games - Anyway Hoping you can fill in the gaps a bit about the Vajrayana path Thanks Ric On another note Santi can one Figure out enough by oneself if they are motivated - Know basic chi gung - yoga - zen meditation - Have good morals - sincerity - - And know how to root themselves? ( Thank You for that)

Up to the top once again This information is abosolute gold - So are the follow up posts by Santi - And much Thanks to Glenn as well Santi Curious as to what a good breathing rhythm is for everyday life - or for exercise - Thanks

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Yo Santi Great Info You have clarified some things that I believe will help Much Thanks for the energy lately -Your timing has been good Ric Oh in regards to settling what about a zen master who has literally sat for 30-40 years would you say he has the ability to remain "calm in the face of the storm "?