Upfromtheashes

Or maybe he could heal you from a distance http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1...h&plindex=0

I am looking for a bit of guidance or personal experience regarding one pointed awareness meditation - The drawback seems that every time I do it I tend to lose my mind - I feel very powerful the first day or two then after about 5 -6 total hours of it something in my mind changes and the experience is different - It is kind of like a blankness that prevents concentration or maybe it is because I have achieved a higher state of concentration and there is no struggle - Anyway another technique I do is just sit and let happen whatever happens - When I do this there often is a strong flow of energy or something in my body - and then it directs itself or something directs it which I am not sure is me - Once again this is good because it is lower stress as I am completely letting go - It is bad because I have no control or at least the I I am used to has no control so I often end up walking around in trance like completely undirected states almost like a bum on the street - So it is like my choice is bum on the street mentality or one pointed which tends to make me very compulsive and rigid as well - Another concern with letting go completely when it feels like energy starts moving itself or feels like the energy is directed by a part of me which isnt me My other concerns are is it even worth asking for perpectives or maybe I will learn better by just doing and learning for years

Ok thanks to all great information Another concern I have is that If I exercise or do some things after I have been focusing my intent on one pointed awareness, I may acually do harm to my body because I can exercise and not feel pain that I normally would - I dont know if this is just because pain is reduced or if it because my focus is changed - Which brings to mind the question how much does your focus change reality - Does it acually allow you to exercise longer and be stronger and not feel pain or is it just ones perception that changes of the pain? By changing ones perception how much does that change reality? Is their value in using one intention consciously to alter the nature of reality or is that just a side path? Do I want to control reality or let it go? What is the I that is doing the controlling?

Ahhh the clenching and relaxing is a good analogy It is almost like after certain amount of meditating my mind refuses to maintain one pointed awareness and yes I do sink into dullness - If I try to force one pointed awareness with a supreme act of will I seem to end up driving myself crazy but then completely letting go I have an awful feeling of having no volition and being powerless

Thank You

Spectrum you talked about a basic task like scrubbing the floor- Now the purpose of that is to get you from thinking about the sensation as it isnt neccessarily important in the sense that you need to do something with it? Would any daily disciplined activity work ? For example say I am starting to medidate and having my first taste of these sensations would hitting a tennis ball against a wall for an hour daily work? Would there be a benefit in keeping on pointed awareness when scrubbing the floor or hitting the tennis ball if that is applicable?

Thanks for that Very interesting

Other end of the spectrum Curious as to experiences of people who have lots of sex frequently with multiple different partner........

First thing that came to mind I guess

Hey Curious if anyone here has been celibate meaning no sex or masturbation for longer periods of time and what your experiences were with it ? Thanks

Hey thank you for the experience Very helpful and insightful - I am not neccessarily looking to be celibate just curious about experiences and things I can connect to what I have discovered on my own I have had some success in a limited way with redirecting my energy but it nothing long term and no balance can be achieved - Basically I am just trying many different things or have been Hey to me more specific I am looking for experiences because I am having a myriad of problems in regards to mood swings and stability that I have not been able to find a solution to and I believe that my sexual practices could be affecting things and I am hoping to learn some ways to balance - balance - balance myself

Thank you yes that was very helpful I am curious as to how you are redirecting your energy - Do you just intend it or ...... I can't really just decide to place my focus somewhere else -

Looking around at all these "teachers" it seems like everyone wants money in some form or another - It seems like a red flag to me Are there genuine individuals out there who teach because of the flow of energy they receive in return, who teach while also being open to what the student can teach them, Who teach just because they are in harmony without looking for anything in return? Can anything valuable be acually obtained when there is a monetary price to it no matter what it is?

http://www.reuniting.info/wisdom/quest_for...ual_orgasm_winn

Well first of all are there any members here who are awakened and second is there anyone who is a public or private figure that you consider awakened and third how would you define being awakened?

Well this is a post from a person who is seeking help Which would be me - The situation is that my mood is extremely unstable and fluctuates depending on what I eat and other factors which I cant quite quantify- For example if I eat a high meat diet I may be more energetic but eventually I get so aggressive I cant control it -If I eat very high in sugars and complex carbs and fruits for the first day or two I am very euphoric but after that I am completely spaced out - What else to say - I often am extrememely depressed - This switches to not feeling anything at all - This switches to awareness of being in a living hell- This can switch to euphoria or good feelings that eventually become painful after a day or two - And there is also peaceful states where I am watching everything and not affected by it - These unfortunately only tend to last a couple hours at most and they come and go - My fear and I know it will happen is that when I reply to this I will be a completely different person than I am now - 1 Hour ago I could barely function and I was losing my mind - I took an herbal tea and some vitamins and now I have a mildly manic semi clarity of which I am typing this I would take the herbal tea and vitamins consistently but the problem is that after several days of doing it they stop working and I just enter a different form of hell - My energy fluctuates from being unable to move to being able to play tennis with vigor - I am strong but only for short bursts - If I exercise very hard I can enter hell for 2 -3 weeks where I am useless - If I do not take any vitamins or any herbs I basically become a zombie where I just lie in bed and suffer - If I take too many or alter my diet in the wrong way I start to lose my mind in a phsychotic manner - The feelings get so awful I cant stand them - My body hurt so badly - I cant breathe at night or am terrified of dying every night - One of the ways to completely keep from losing it is to stay on the brink of starvation - This is what I did 6 years ago - I had just gotten done with electro convulsive therapy and was losing my mind still - Well I drank a pint to a pint and a half of heavy cream a day and ate maybe half a pound of meat - I stabilized - Unfortunately I barely had enough energy to move - I lost all anger and aggresiveness - had days of bliss but it was not a long term solution - Now I range from not being able to take care of myself and living in squalor for days to weeks at a time then I have a manic burst of energy and get some things done - So I am going from states of intense aggitatino to intense withdrawal - States of having intense compulsions and self importance to really no sense of self - And things change rapidly based on what I eat but I havent been able to devise a diet that will consitently stabilize me despite 6 years of trying - Dont know whether to save sexual energy or not - I am considering just wasting my sexual energy on purpose and just being like a zombie because sometimes it beats being agitated - The problem with taking things with cover up the agitation and mellow me out is they make me feel flat and lifeless and this seems to happen after a few days - So I continue to swing back and forth - I dont know exactly how I should be meditating - One pointed awareness seems to make me too rigid even though it does make me feel powerful - Too much meditation drives me nutty as well - I get detached and completely unemotional as well as lots of other problems No mediation and I am completely scattered like a leaf on the wind and completely at the mercy of my thoughts - I cant form relationships with people because one day I care about them the next I dont - Then I care- I have days where everything looks beautiful and wonderful and the next it is complete shit - I dont really feel anything when talking to people - But sometimes I do - sometimes I feel a joyful sense of connection but it never lasts more than a few hours and can fade- Basically what I am saying is that my reality is constantly changing and has been like this for 12 years or so and despite my best efforts I cannot control it - Trying to stabilize myself Frustrated because when I read this later on I will be a different person and if i wrote this 2 hours from now it would have been completely different and painted and completely different picture of myself

Thank You to everyone for the words

Hi Just found this forum Hi to all

Thanks !!!!

By N.O You are talking about nitric oxide? Also was the feeling more like someone was stepping on your throat or it felt like you had less room for air in your throat?

Thanks Mike Could someone please tell me how to access more than the first 3 pages in the taoist discussion forums? Thank You

Hey do you mean lama tsering everest?

Well after reading the article on semen retention I realized what a lot of my problems have been caused by and I am going to take a stab at moderating my sexual activity I realize it is different for everyone what what would some consider moderate sexual activity? I mean for some one orgasm per day would be moderate if you routinely engaged twice a day - Anyway Curious about opinions Also it doesnt seem to be too healthy to abstain from ejaculation when you reach the point where you are thinking about it every few seconds and it literally take an extreme amount of will all the time to resist - Curious about peoples experiences here - Thanks