Valerian

I laughed for a while thanks to the irony of your post. I'll gladly tell you why, and I think you may laugh too. That man speaks of happiness as a skill, and it is. But the motivation to learn those skills, the desire to move beyond negativity and toward true happiness, and the wisdom to apply his knowledge to his own life were all learned as he became enlightened. What do you think enlightened people are? Soulless, boring intellectuals who sit and meditate all day? They're the happiest people in the world! They're probably some of the happiest beings in the universe. They're active (no need to sit and meditate, though they have no aversion to it), masters of their talents and successful in whatever they want to be. Your definition of happy (as your ego has convinced you and which you have bought into) is simply sense addiction. Your ego conveys a basic primal desire to you and it overwhelms you until you satisfy it. Your happiness is just the relief from the torturous state of wanting something but not having it. Relief from unhappiness is not happiness, simply distraction.

Hello, I'm a new member and would like to post the main reason I am here. I'm trying to grow. I'm at a point in my life where I'm realizing how much my life is ruled by fear and I want to change this. Of course, fear keeps me from moving on and I've become so adept at creating thoughts stemming from fear that I now have trouble knowing what is truly me and what is my fear. I'm at an impasse and I'm pretty confused. I feel like I can't trust myself because my thoughts are motivated by fear and my growth is spurred by my boyfriend not by myself. Mainly out of fear of losing him, I make feeble attempts at growing and end up not learning anything more than I am afraid and seemingly unready to grow. I'm desperately afraid he will leave me if I continue to do this, but I also fear that I will never be able to grow and he will leave me. I need to take myself away from the fear, and motivate myself. I want to grow, not only for my boyfriend, but because I'm really not ecstatic about my life. I don't maintain my body well, I run away from truly looking at myself and I've socially isolated myself in many ways. Yet on some days I feel really happy and content with my life, which I feel is just myself justifying living in fear. I'm really confused, need some guidance, and some thoughts about what I am doing! I do feel I make some progress, but I feel even more of this progress could be achieved if I knew how to deal with my fear. ~Valerian