Apech

Did she make any comment about using your brain, by any chance?

I believe in rebirth.

I think the clue is in the name. Tao Bums is like Dharma Bums by Kerouac ... if you read that book you will see a lot of free thinking vaguely focused on dharma but not strictly adhering to anything much.

Don't worry UFOs and aliens have been covered on TBs many times. If you read around about TBs you will see this is an open and eclectic forum where people are free to express themselves and practice a wide variety of systems and so on ... so if you come here expect many views differing from your own.

I think you are in for a promotion (and an extra outfit to wear).

Oh that's you is it! I did wonder.

Ha! I laugh at how you indulge yourself with the illusion of free will. And don't call me 'dear' I am after all very cheap.

Yes and no. This is a serious policy area and on and off, we shall be spending a long time looking at underwear, different colours, styles and preferences.

Your request to withdraw is denied.

You will require a peaked hat and a pointed stick to pick up litter. Also it is my policy to abandon all "Keep OFF the Grass" signs in favour of "Walk where you want". If you are in favour and have the right equipment then the job is yours.

OK you're on the team. Minister of Smells and Refreshment.

Hang on I'll just finish walking on rice paper and lifting that big metal cauldron thing and I'll be ready.

Yeah! .... wot? Sounds good ... what does it mean?

The Ministry doesn't have a budget so I suppose the sky's the limit. Barbados is fine ... but you will have to wear a large white pith helmet with large feathers sticking out of the top. This is not ceremonial but simply so people can point and laugh at you when you go shopping and the like. Thus you will add merriment to their lives.

You would have to wear all black, a frilly white collar and stockings. If you accept the dress code then the job is yours.

Hey! All a my life I give you nothing, and still you ask for more.

I'd like you as Culture Secretary ... we'll call it the Ministry of Happiness.

i thought you'd like to handle foreign affairs ... you know trips to Paris and Rome ... catch a show, drink some wine, trip down the river at night, maybe some how's-your-father afterwards if you're lucky ... if you don't like that idea I could offer you Homeland Security ...

I'll give you Finance and Marblehead can be Secretary of State ... how's that?

When I become leader I promise to do nothing. It won't be easy. Times are hard. There's always temptation to get involved with issues and actually do work of some kind. But together ... together, we can aim for the highest and you can build a shining city on a hill. Because I believe in the peoples of TaoBums ... I believe in the good, honest, hard working, salt of the earth TaoBums. And it is therefore my honour to declare my candidacy for Leader so that I can rule over you and you can shower me with praise each day. And thus I can spend my first 100 days in complete indolence and sensory gratification. I thank you. (applause)

Yes my halo is very bright.

I will lead you forwards into the past.

Just doing a self check ... Eh? Errr not sure. Pffft no time for it. What? For those bastards ... ..well I'm waiting to be asked ....

I take my hat off to you all.