Apech

Reminds me of the phrase 'mostre seus mammas' ... which is not nice. (hang on you said mammals a minute ago did you edit?)

Are you trying to blame everything on the English? You haven't forgiven us for Bunker Hill or was it YorkTown ... whichever one we managed to win.

Ah excuse me ... no one likes dressing up in women's clothing more than americans (the men I mean).

Am I a woman? I'm not sure.

That sounds mighty quick to me. I do the lazy man's MCO taking 3/9 breaths per position ... then when open a single breath.

Nothing wrong with visualisations at all but I would suggest that it is better to be able to feel qi in your body before bothering with MCO. You could start by focusing gently on natural breathing exclusively for a while and then move the feeling of focus to part of your body ... such as the LDT. If anything starts to happen ignore it and carry on. Then experiment with moving your point of concentration to perineum, base of spine and points up spine etc. Use it to become super relaxed i.e purposefully relax on out breath. Energy should follow your mind after a while. Once you get the feel for it you can use visualisation as a kind of map to enhance what is happening naturally. This works for me ... but if it doesn't work for you ... go find a teacher and do what they say. Standing posture is also good for feeling qi movement.

I think maybe its the ebb and flow of TaoBums.

To see a World in a Grain of Sand And a Heaven in a Wild Flower, Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand And Eternity in an hour.

Sorry that's no good - one of those pictures does not have a semi-naked woman in it.

You're exaggerating surely. (not saying which way )

Is that a UFO above their heads?

I agree about humility and also we could afford to be more generous to each other by assuming that the other person has a valid point of view. Within Buddhism this is an open forum and so there is no one school or tradition which dominates here. So I think that all Buddhists have to embrace the idea that Buddhism here means the whole lot, not just Zen, not just Theraveda, not just Tibetan ... the whole thing. And that there are (we are told) 84,000 collections of dharmas which embrace the whole spectrum of human inclination and thought ... and that is a good thing.

You're not saying there's connection are you? Or are you just expressing regret?

Not just today.

I wondered where they were. Can you go and check that they are still there. I think there's a lot of people will want to borrow them. Or at least have a look.

Nice but what's a lineague?

I agree about the babies with flesh wounds ... I mean eeewww! I always say just take them away. But in the end what you're not getting is it's about compassion raw and simple. Seems to me you just want the enlightenment paper and are scared of what it means. The circus, the clowns ... what are you going to do sit in a darkened room and stare at your diploma ... not speak to anyone, not be touched on any level? in any way? by anything? that's not nirvana that's just a prison.

Its an investment. Once you've got the diploma you write a book, give talks, do a lecture tour ... make heaps of money. So for a small fee now you win later. As for people who have no money ... well its a beacon of hope for them to pray for.

That's a shame you would have got a diploma.

Well done you gained a B plus in your first test and you may continue to stage 2 provided you pay the course fee of 129$ (flat rate or by instalment plan) - we do not issue certificates until stage 7. Thank you for submitting your results.

I thought the tradition was that the Bodhidharma (a Buddhist obviously) developed forms of exercise like Qi Gong and bone marrow washing and so forth to keep the monks healthy. Why then would Buddhist monks reject Ba Gua? I mean maybe they would choose not to or simply not have time and so on ... but that's true of anyone.

Our Father who art self-certified, Guaranteed be thy name, On earth as it is at the bottom of the form, Give us this day our diploma, For thine is the signature, The seal and stamp of approval, For ever and ever Amen Test. 1. Are you or have you ever been enlightened? Ans. a) no, b ) yes and c) don't know. 2. Did you in former life have your head chopped off by King Asoka? Ans. a) no , b ) don't know c) nnnmmmmghhh 3) Do you shave your head and chant in Sanskrit of Pali? Ans. a ) OM b ) no c ) what's Pali? 4) Are you aware that being a monk involves a vow of chastity and refraining from alcohol. Ans. a) yes, b ) no c) shit you're kidding look it was my birthday and things got out of hand.

Life in the tunnels was no joke I can tell you. I was set to work catching rats. I mean me! Rats! Didn't they know I used to be fed Bratwurst on a golden spoon by the Fuhrer himself? After a few years of this purgatory my master announced that we were to creep away across the Cambodian border to Phnom Penh. There we stayed with my master's cousins Mr. and Mrs. Pot. the nicest people I have ever met. Especially as they had a seemingly endless supply of fresh meat. It was a time of youthfulness and joy … in fact I can hardly remember seeing any old people after a while … I have no idea where they went. They, the Pots, were very keen bone collectors and had a whole warehouse full of skulls. But all good things have to come to an end sooner or later and my master who was now getting on a bit seemed to get very uneasy. One night he took us by train to a post and we border an old freighter bound for Bangladesh.

Who would give God a certificate to prove he was God?

Typical French man from time in question: Typical american from time in question all images courtesy of FBI databanks and efitology.