CarsonZi

Hi maRkeRn;) Yes I currently practice Yoga Nidra when falling asleep. I never get all the way through it though. I usually end up in lucid dreaming state before I ever finish. But I don't do it from left to right or right to left, but instead from bottom to top. Toes to crown. Don't know if this helps to balance the Masculine and Feminine aspects but I always sleep great and I usually have wickedly vivid and instructional dreams. Lots of Love, Carson

Namaste Goldisheavy..... You confuse me a little. You say things like what is quoted directly below: ...but then you go and say in exactly what sense this is true (below). Contradicting nothing I said. Exactly what I was saying in my March 12th 8:32am post. No contradictions there... Exactly Exactly. My exact words were: "I don't believe that "nothing is necessary" for liberation but merely that nothing IN PARTICULAR is necessary for liberation" Meaning that what works for one will not necessarily work for another as we are all different and have different obstructions. Couldn't agree more. There are no absolutes in life and it is no different with our spiritual journeys. Love, Carson:D

Namaste Jack... Really? Yet you do it with drugs regularly? (ayahausca, marijuana etc) Perhaps I misunderstand. Then I would suggest an "open awareness" style of meditation and perhaps for only 5 minutes a day. At least try that at first. If it is still too much you may have to back off completely for a while, only you will know for sure. Sychronicities are a sign that you are where you should be at a given time. IMO anyways. Unfortunately no. At least not that I know of. Just don't do any more 2C-I. If you have to, burn your braincells out with MDMA or something instead. Kidding. Maybe, but if there is I don't know it. All the breathing exercises I know of seem to me like they would exasperate things not smooth them out. Sorry I'm not more help. Love, Carson

Namaste Jack.... Haha, you'll be ok, try not to stress. All things work together for good and everything happens for a reason. Struggle creates opening. Yeah I knew it before you said it. I could "feel" it in your energy. I am all for using psychedelics but seriously, in your situation, I REALLY think it is a bad idea. Even smoking weed probably is not a good thing for you at this stage. I second those who suggest some serious grounding. Weight lifting, running, mountain climbing, etc etc..... And I'd almost fully suggest staying away from spiritual stuff until some of this calms down. Maybe keep a little daily meditation, (not too much) in there to keep balance an inner silence in the forefront...... Oh yeah, and don't provoke yourself by putting yourself in situations like the above . Letting go is a great idea Best of luck. You will be in my samyama. Love, Carson

Namaste Jack.... I have one question for you before I offer any suggestions.... You say you have been invovled in the past with research chemicals....I used to have a LARGE collection of legal phenethylamines and tryptamines and have done them all numerous times....my question to you is this: Have you recently (or even semi-recently, say within the last 6 months) done 2C-I? This particular research chemical has an Iodine molecule which is very heavy. The only medications using this molecule are thyroid medications. There is a reason for that. I have personally found that with this chemical it can put one into a state of severe depression, exhaustion etc from making semi-permanent changes to the functioning of your thyroid. DO NOT USE THIS CHEMICAL! This is one of the few research chemicals I will actively stand up and say this about. The only other one I have a bit of an issue with is DPT because I think there is a demonic force attached to this molecule, but that is a COMPLETELY other story . Anyways, if you wouldn't mind letting me know how recently you last used 2C-I if at all, that would be of great help I think in diagnosing what may be the potential cause of this phase. Love, Carson P.S. Yes I knew who you were when I first said hello. Saw on AYP that you were joining so I figured Easynow/Jack here was "Jack" there. Again, welcome to TTB.

I love it! Gets me vibrating fairly quickly. I agree with you Joeblast on the timing thing though. I find that the breathing pattern on the site (at least on the Universal Breathing page, I didn't donate so I can't see the other rooms) has too fast of an outbreath for me. I am used to exhaling longer. BUT, that said, I believe that this site probably has an equally timed in breath and out breath, so it is probably good practice to keep them the same length. Thanks for sharing this link Jedi777! Love, Carson

Namaste Jack.... Nice to see you here. I'm sure you will find lots of help here. Perhaps making a thread describing your current practices and your ailments is a good idea. Best of luck my Friend. Love, Carson:D

Yes..... If you wouldn't mind Stigweard, perhaps it would be a good idea to post the date and time of the healing so others who would like to can participate in sending healing energies at the same time? I know I would like to. This situation seems like it has gone on FAR too long. Perhaps posting the date and time in the Healing Circle area would be a good idea? Love, Carson

Namaste Salaam..... Can you please tell us what spiritual practices you are engaged in so that perhaps the advice here can become a little more specific? Best of luck. Love, Carson

Hello again Markern my friend... Well, I had never heard of any of these until just now. I googled "rolfing" as I had no idea what this was. After reading about Ida Rolf and her ideas I am VERY intrigued. I will look deeper into this as it sounds very interesting. Thank you for introducing me to this. Much appreciated! In your opinion is there a possibility of overload symptoms in combining these techinques with a regular sadhana like mine? Yes I have had a few people suggest this book to me now. Sounds like it is worth picking up for sure. Thank you. Yes, I don't want to mix practices as much as possible. A stable well researched practice set is important to me as I have been a "guineau pig" in the past and prefer to let someone else have this title these days . Thank you for all the wonderfully helpful suggestions. Love, Carson

Namaste Cat... Yes I have come to realize that this is common. I just never realized that until having this particular acupuncture session. I knew I had physical issues with my right shoulder and hip, but I always thought this was a sports injury related thing and not a spiritual and emotional reaction to life stressors. But now that I understand why I have this tension in these areas I realize that this is normal. Now it's just a matter of releasing the tension and balancing the yin and yang aspects of the body I guess. Do you think we are born assymetrical? Or are we born imbalanced? Those who are self realized are balanced I assume right? So maybe it isn't that we "expect" to be symmetrical as much as we "long" for it? I do not currently practice qigong, but yes, I am interested in it. I didn't really know where to begin though. I will look into Mr. Winn. Thank you. Never taken a tai chi class, but have had some tai chi like spontaneous movements happen over the past few months. Perhaps an indication I should persue further. Like everything else. Persisitance is key. Thank you for your input and your suggestions. Love, Carson

Namaste Ian! Haha, you're welcome I guess... Yes, very much so. I still am having a hard time thinking of more then two. Hell yeah. Ever watch UFC? Or porn? haha. These things make me sick to my stomache likely the way it would for many women. (I'm such a girl ) Yes I see this the same as you. I agree in equality between the sexes but I think the whole feminism thing got ridiculously out of hand. Yes I see this too. I am as bad as anyone else. This situation definitely aids in creating self-conscious men with low self-esteem and significantly lower confidence levels I think. Hmmmm.....unembarrassed....yes. I like that. A good list for sure. Yeah I hear you on the esoteric thing. But this style of acupuncture is amazing IMO. Words are always lacking. I gave a link to her (the acupuncturists) website in my response to Rain, and if you send her an email, I'm sure she can tell you of anyone she knows in the UK. Just tell her that you got her info from Carson and she will help you out I'm sure. Well, I actively use Sambhavi mudra in my daily sadhana so perhaps this will help me balance. Thanks for the input! Love, Carson

Namaste rain... Hahaha. Yes my twice daily sadhana is quite extensive, including Deep Meditation, pranayam, mudras and bandhas, samyama and more. And I have decided as well that instead of sitting for my practices with my hands in gyan mudra, that I will use dhyana mudra or another mudra with the hands together instead. Already I have noticed a difference in the energy flow from this. Unfortunately I know very little about nei qi gong, qi gong or any of the "gongs" really. I will have to dedicate some time to researching more about these practices. Oh yes. She is AMAZING. Here is a link to her picture. (she's the bottom photo.)http://chirozone.ca/practitioners.htm You can feel her energy radiating even through just the picture. She is an intense woman and the type of person where words are a mere formality as the silence speaks volumes more then anything we say to each other. Thank you for the wonderful suggestions. There are a few movements in the Kundalini Yoga tradition that sound like they are similar to what you are talking about. Even just quickly rubbing the hands against each in other in front of the heart will likely help it sounds like. Thank you for taking the time to give me your input. Muchly appreciated. Love, Carson

Namaste Vortex... Yes, I found that this style of acupuncture resonated much deeper with me then the TCM style. To each their own, but acupuncture based on the chakra system seems to have great effects on my overall well-being. Only have minor experience with TCM acupuncture though so I am speaking from a place of relatively little personal experience. Take it with a grain of salt. Very wise words. I don't think you could have hit the nail on the head any harder. This is exactly how I feel my life has progressed. I was born more feminine in nature I think, but my father was very much the opposite and I was the first born so he really wanted to have that male connection with me. He put me in hockey at the age of 4, (until I quit to snowboard for a living at 15) and this is where I started to have issues I think. All the other guys were more "macho" then I, and I felt very alienated due to this I think. I'd end up having to seriously overcompensate by picking fights, and being aggressive, trying to show off how manly I was. Eventually I ended up getting into meditation and yoga, and the false layers started to peal away revealing the more feminine inner self again. And I allowed myself to stay here for some time, not having any desire to go back to being a typical male. Recently though, through a few outrageous situations, I came to realize that I feel deeply disconnected from my masculinity and I need to balance the two "sides" better. This is where I am at today. Yes...it seems that this is the only area I have yet to really explore. Didn't really realize that there WAS a positive aspect to masculinity until having this acupuncture treatment on Monday. Now I feel as if a whole new area of existence has been shown to me and I am excited to learn and discover more about it. Compassionately decisive? Lovingly honest? I don't know really. Still inquiring into this I guess. All great questions, but I really have little for anwers at this point. Thank you for all the food for thought. Much love. Love, Carson

Namaste Markern! Nice to see you here as well! Yes, this was suggested to me at the AYP forum as well. There have been many that suggest any practice that works the "middle" channel of the body. Alternate nostril breathing being one such practice. I do not have a lot of experience with this practice as I usually do AYP style pranayam and I usually have one nostril that is more plugged than the other, but I am definitely going to give this a go. It has so far been the most suggested solution. Can you explain this in a bit more detail if you dont' mind? I have never heard of this before. I know what body scanning is, but have never had it end up in feeling as if the entire body is one cell. Only ever had that feeling on ayahausca. Yes, I like this idea. I don't have a lot of spare time these days, but I think I will look into a few of the martial arts that I feel a connection to and see if I can find a decent place to learn in my area. Thanks for this suggestion. Second person to suggest this book to me so far. Obviously a good one. I will pick it up. Thanks for the input! Love, Carson

Hi Gats, and thank you very much for your post. Nice. I like this very much and it resonates strongly with me. In talking with my acupuncturist yesterday I came to realize that I reject much of the Masculine because I don't feel the "love" from this "side" of me. I have become deeply attached (for lack of a better word) to the divine outpouring love that has recently manifested itself in my life, and I feel that this is rooted in my feminine side. I need to learn that there is a loving male aspect as well and it comes from the virtues that you mentioned above. I will try very hard to focus on the postive masculine aspects of myself from now on and stop trying to supress it all. Well I have no problems going into deep introspection, in fact I probably actually HAVE a problem with responding to most situations by running to Self Inquiry. And I don't think I suppress my feminine energy, I think I supress my masculine energy and in this way I am the opposite of most guys. This is how I instinctually feel and what the acupuncturist picked up on as well. Thank you very much for these suggestions. I will run out and pick them both up later today when I am off work. I greatly appreciate the suggestions and the input. Love, Carson

Namaste Vortex and thanks for your input! I don't know about there being a site for Esoteric Acupuncture, but from what I understand, TCM follows the "meridians" in the body and acupuncture is usually done using these as guides. Esoteric acupuncture is acupuncture based on the Indian chakra system and not on the Chinese meridian system. I have very little knowledge of acupuncture though so if I am incorrect I hope someone will say so. This is my understanding of it though. "Seeds" as my acupuncturist called them (don't know if there is another name or not) are basically a small square bandaid with a small "seed" shaped piece of plastic in it. It is placed in specific locations so that when pushed on it creates a similar effect to having a needle in that same spot. I think as a child, being constantly ridiculed as not being tough, and having to "become" tough, put me where I am at today. I felt de-masculinated in many situations. I was taught by my parents not to fight, but to "turn the other cheek" and in some situations I literally did this. Now I don't know if that was the best idea or not. Later in life I turned into a real fighter and would actually go looking for fights just to make myself appear manly. Not to mention the fact that I tattooed most of my body in order too look tough and scary. All overcompensating for feeling feminine inside I'm sure. (ps. I can't see youtube videos on my work computer due to a "smartfilter", so I don't know what that video was of, sorry) "via PU & MRAs"? Sorry, don't know these abbreviations. Was there anything in particular that you did to find your way back to a balance of the two energies? Sorry, can't see the image either as my filter says it contains nudity. Annoying. Haha. No that was not what I was meaning....haha. Yes there are dumb women out there too of course. The point I was trying to make was that I have a particular aversion to Male oriented things now because I find them very "non-spiritual". Not that dolling oneself up as a hooker is any more spiritual, just that women in general seem to me more connected to the divine then males. (in general) You are right though. This is an unbalanced perspective and this needs to be corrected. Any idea how to go about doing that? Love, Carson

Namaste Vajrasattva.... Of course he does. My point was that he still would even if you didn't charge a "set" price for your services. Nothing would change. Always good to give when you receive. Otherwise it is just taking. Do you really mean that? I kinda sense a bit of hostility from you for asking. Hope I am mistaken. Sounds reasonable I guess. Well, for some people there is....Especially if you are really poor or don't strive for monetary wealth and therefore have none. I understand, but there are other modes of currency that are just as valuable as cash. (IMO) Yes you have and it certainly is. Shouldn't say that man...you really have no idea what I understand and don't understand...or what I will or wont understand in the future. You don't know if I have had children in the past and they have died, you don't know if I have had children and given them up for adoption, or if I have never had a child. All I said was that I don't have children of my own (yet). Doesn't mean I don't understand the responsibility necessary to be a father. You don't know where I have been or what my past entails so you really shouldn't judge like that. Never is a long time, and I would be careful about pigeon-holing God. God will do what he wants and sees fit. If putting me through a difficult time is necessary, I can view it as a punishment or I can view it as a lesson. It's all in the perspective. And what is fair for one person may not be fair for another. (homeless man versus a corporate bigwig.....should the homeless man have to pay the same as the CEO?) I'm sorry but did I say you weren't somewhere? I definitely wasn't TRYING to imply that! It works for me right now. Saved my life actually. But to each their own. Not trying to convert anyone. Love, Carson:D P.S. Sorry but I am not sure why the quotes aren't working.

Namaste Vajrasattva and thank you for taking the time to respond to me.... Before I get into responding to what you have said, I just want to clarify that I am not trying to say you are doing anything wrong, immoral or anything other then what your heart tells you to do. I am not challenging you. I am merely trying to understand your perspective as I can see valid points from both sides. Please do not get offended I am not questioning your methods or motives. Just to be clear. Ok. Of course. We all need to survive. And we all seem to have a need to feel like we are doing something worthwhile. I can understand this. Again I am not questioning the fact that you require money to pay the bills nor how you go about charging that money. My main question was why not charge by donation and trust God that all will be as it should? I know you have kids and a wife, I have a wife and dogs (no kids yet) and I am responsible for keeping a roof over their heads, and food in their mouths as well, but if God called you to become homeless it would happen regardless of how much money you make....I understand the rationale behind charging for your time, but do you not think it would be much more beneficial for everyone involved if you didn't ask for money and it (money/payment) was just freely given? Do you really think God would let you and your family go hungry if you did? Do you not think you would have a zillion times more business if you did? Just questions, I don't know any answers. Knowledge and energy as well. Really? Is something worked for ALWAYS valued more then something freely given? Not for me. I can fully appreciate both. I appreciate AYP so much because it is completely free not because I worked for it. I appreciate it because the practices changed my life. There really is no price tag that can be put on this. Yet I give (donate) back to AYP as much as I can afford. It isn't required, but the practices were freely given to me so I feel honored to give something back, even if it is "just" money. (I offer my time and services as well) I think Yogani benefits from this (the money and knowing that people give even though they don't have to because his teachings are making a difference in people's lives) as do I (I feel like I am giving something back even though I know it is minimal compared to what I have received). In this way Yogani's bills are all paid and all people have equal access to efficient spiritual practices for free. Of course. Never doubted this for a second. Love, Carson

Namaste Vajrasattva.... I hope you will respond to a few of the questions directed at you from others besides GIH. If I may be so arrogant as to ask you to (re-)read post #76 in this thread, (it's a post from me) it has a question in it that I very much hope you will take the time to respond to. I understand if you don't have the time or don't feel the need, but personally I would love to know how you feel about teaching for dana. I think it is relevant to this thread. Thanks. Love, Carson

Namaste Vortex.... I've heard it said that God helps those who help themselves. This how I live. I trust God to provide for me in whatever way he sees fit. If that means God calls me to sit down and waiting for a cooked pigeon to fly into my mouth, then I will do that. If that means God calls me to go to work scrubbing toilets for crusty bread then I will do that. It is all about hearing the voice of God clearly within. To Effort or not to Effort that is the question....**wink wink** Meaning who is it that makes an effort anyways?? Again, **wink wink**. Hope you catch my drift here. Sorry duder...not going there as I said. Love, Carson

Namaste Vortex..... I rely on God not on myself. I will still go to work everyday that I have a job, but that job can be taken from me in an instant if it is God's will and I am not attached to this job. If God see's fit to take this job away from me I trust that he will supply me with a new job. If not a job for money then a job for survival. If that means teaching meditation for dana only and trusting that God will provide should I not make enough cash then so be it. If I am meant to live as a homeless person for a while, living as a drain on the "economic system" then that is the way it is meant to be according to God's plan. Of course that doesn't mean I should wait for God to fly a "cooked pigeon into my mouth" as someone so eloquently said to me earlier on TTB forum, and I should take every opportunity to become employed as the opportunities arise, but if God has plans for me other then working a "wage job" then that is the way it is. I am no better nor any worse off then I am now. Nor is society. "Shoulda Coulda Woulda" right? Don't think about what "should" be, or what "could have been". What is IS. That's it. Anything else is fighting reality. I'm sorry but I respectively disagree 100% with you on this. The economic collapse is a completely seperate subject and I really don't want to get off topic more then we already are here, but people taking more out (money-wise) is NOT what is causing this collapse. The system is FLAWED. Has been since the beginning. Nothing short of a complete revamp is going correct this for long. And that's ALL I'm going to say on this. Please don't try to continue this arguement with me, I will not take the bait. Hahahaha....thanks for the laugh, I enjoyed that. I would agree with this statement if you are talking morally and spiritually. I don't see things from a strictly financial perspective so I can't really say that this is true in just that respect. Thanks for the stimulating conversation. Love, Carson

Namaste Vortex.... If you aren't asking, and someone is giving you can choose how to "see" this. From God or not, it is a choice. And who said the teacher recieving dana doesn't work a "wage job" as well? I know I certainly do. I teach Yoga for other reasons other then to support myself. The money is a bonus from God as I see it. My choice though right? Anyone can see it any way they want to. Yes of course. And I am able to be in that place of imparting knowledge because there is enough money coming in to keep me physically alive. But does that really change anything I have said? Does it matter how the money was originally earned? Where did the person "working hard plying his trade" get paid? And the person that paid him etc etc? This doesn't change the fact that I am teaching others something valuable to me, and if they find value in it then they will donate to my survival. If they find nothing in the teachings then they should not give. And with faith in God, those who do not give because they did not recieve are balanced out by those that gave because they did receive. In this way all support comes from God as noone is making anyone do anything. All giving comes from the heart which is God. Yes I can see why knowing someone like this could leave a bad taste in your mouth for freeloaders, but this is not what I am suggesting is the right course of action. We all have to take responsibility for ourselves, but we also need to be in a state of pure surrender at all times as well, as we truly have no control anyways. All control is illusion. I am not suggesting that Santiago should be as the friend you are describing, and I don't really think you think I was saying this either, so I'm not quite sure why you wrote this but regardless......Working for a living is necessary. Whatever God calls you to do for "work". If that means working a day job so you can afford to live while teaching Yoga for free like I am, then so be it. If that means teaching Yoga all day everyday by dana just to survive then so be it. One way is not "better" then the other. All I was suggesting was that it is important to trust God to provide and not to "force" people to pay for something when they do not feel they received what they are paying for. That is why I prefer to charge by dana. To each their own right? The whole global macro-economy is unbalanced and unsustainable. It will collapse in on itself someday. We should really focus on learning to live without having to purchase goods to survive IMO. There will always be slothful and lazy people. To some this is a satisfying way of living. To others death would be much more preferable. Again to each their own. Agreed. If the whole world did a lot of stuff we'd all be in much better shape. But to hope for that is to fight reality. What Is, IS, and that's all there is to it. Focus on yourself and living how you see fit. If only life would listen to us the world would be a better place. Open your ears damn world! **wink wink** Love, Carson

Very much depends on your personality actually. I was addicted to both for several years and I found cigarettes MUCH easier to drop then heroin. I quit smoking cigs cold turkey in one day, and it took 4 years on methadone to get off heroin and then an intense yoga program to get off methadone. Some people will hate heroin and could never get addicted to it. Some people will hate cigarettes and could never get addicted to them. It all depends on the personality involved. Some people are drawn to illegal things for various reasons. Others couldn't get farther away from illegal things for various reasons. To make banket statements like this does noone any good. Sorry to contradict you but my opinion differs from yours in this. Love, Carson Actually it happens all the time at the homeless shelter I worked at all winter. In fact it probably happens just as much for cigs as it does for crack. At least within the homeless population. Love, Carson

Please excuse me if this sounds presuming, it isn't meant as such, this is an honest question with no hidden intent..... What ever happened to the idea of Dana? Paying by donation based on what you feel you recieved. Every meditation/yoga class I have ever taught has been by dana. I prefer getting "paid" in this way as there is no one asking and therefore no obligation to give. The gift of money is given from the heart this way. I understand where Santiago is coming from, everyone has to make a living and if your job is healing/teaching/transmitting there is not a lot of opportunity to make the necessary cash to keep food on the table for the family. But that said I also believe there is great value in trusting God to provide. I stopped worrying about money a long time ago. At one point I realized that only when I stressed about money was I ever short on it. If I just forget that money even exists, God always seems to make sure my rent is paid, there is food on the table and my body is clothed. He often even manages to throw in some frills every once in a while. My point is basically to say, I understand where you are coming from Santiago (hope you don't mind if I use your name and not your moniker even though we have never spoken) in asking for payment for your teachings, but instead of charging a "set" price, wouldn't it be more effective to allow people to give from their hearts by dana instead? Just an honest question please don't shoot Love, Carson