doc benway

I made the decision to work with a therapist several years ago. I looked through some photos and descriptions of local therapists and picked one that "felt right" to me. She happened to specialize in a method called Acceptance Commitment Therapy (ACT - http://contextualscience.org/act) It proved to be exactly what I needed. I guess I was lucky but I would recommend you go with your gut feeling, if you trust that. If you feel drawn to therapy, do it! If it isn't working, don't be afraid to change. Good luck

Sorry you're leaving bubbles, your contributions are valuable. It is so important to not underestimate or dehumanize the "enemy." I actually puts us in a vulnerable position and at a disadvantage. Yes, it's extremely difficult to feel genuine compassion for people who do terrible things and hurt us. If we're not ready to work towards that, then we shouldn't because it takes enormous dedication and energy. The secret is that forgiving people like this, when the time is right and we are ready to do so with sincerity, is that it is an act of strength, not weakness. Forgiveness helps us much more than them, it gives us strength, confidence, and frees us from the grip of fear and the feelings of weakness and vulnerability. It doesn't make things easier for the perpetrator but rather puts the responsibility back on them where it belongs. Don't take my word for it. If you have the feeling that it is something you want to pursue, find a teacher or teachings that can support you and work on it and see for yourself. Jihadists are not stupid or crazy even though it may seem that way from our perspective. Data shows that they are intelligent, highly educated, and quite sane - from their perspective. Yes they think and feel quite differently than most of us do most of the time. They are different and they are criminals and, in my opinion, need to be held accountable for their actions. Nothing we can do or say can change their minds. I think the only way for them to be change is through a fundamental change in the Islamic world and mindset, meaning the reformed and moderate Muslims as well as the more orthodox deciding that they want to teach their children to be loving rather than full of hate. From my perspective the radical Islamists are not so different from what I see in the speech and actions of the Chrisitan right here in the US. Certainly we see less violence here BUT if you look critically at the US military behavior outside of the US in Latin America, the Middle East, and Asia, I think you see a very different picture. Also, when you look at the continued racism and intolerance domestically (homophobia, etc...). This is what I think people around the world are reacting to, not our "freedom and democracy." These are the karmic seeds we have sown and that are coming to fruition in the violent behavior we see both around the world and in our own cities. Anyway, I'll stop there - I want to get back to Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche's free online workshop on Soul Retrieval - it's brilliant. Peace and love to all, even Marblehead.

I have to disagree here, a few dead murderers may be somewhat positive but doesn't turn this into a positive situation for me overall. You're misunderstanding me. Again, you misunderstand me and are misquoting me I didn't "claim to know that the cause of terrorist acts is satire of their religion." Certainly that is one extremely small contributing factor - if you poke a rabid skunk with your finger it's likely to get bitten. What I said was simply that satirizing Islam is likely to lead to negative consequences and it certainly did. Had there never been a satirical article or cartoon of Islam published by Charlie Hebdo, it's a lot less likely that their employees would have been attacked. Deny that if you like, but I don't see that getting you anywhere. But that is a tiny piece of the puzzle. This wanton and obscene violence would be going on with or without cartoons. Nevertheless it is happening as a result of infinitely complex causes and effects.

Interesting, does it appear to you that positive consequences occur as a result of satirizing the prophet of Islam? I'm not a Buddhist teacher but karma is quite clear to me, I see it in everything. The thing is that it is not simple or straightforward, it's infinitely complex and subtle. But no question it is the way things are in my view. I'm deeply hurt and disturbed by it as well but that doesn't mean that it is not a manifestation of cause and effect. And don't misunderstand, karmic effects do not imply that they are somehow deserved... that's a misunderstanding of the principle.

If one does nothing, that can be positive or negative. If one does nothing to interfere, that can also be positive or negative. Neither is absolute but rather depends on circumstances and perspective.

They certainly are... I can't speak for Buddhism but I think it's pretty clear, at least to me, that satirizing the prophet of Islam leads to negative consequences rather than positive ones.

Beautiful post and sentiments, manitou. War has always been with humanity and I suspect it always will be. One possible explanation is that it is a naturally occurring phenomenon that serves to limit our population growth. It may sound a bit off, but I think that a lot of things that lead to death or restricted reproduction are desperate attempts by the collective intelligence of the species to restore balance to our ecosystem. Humans have so disrupted the natural homeostasis through technology that we have completely overrun large areas of the planet and smothered all competing life forms wherever and whenever possible. We need to be controlled and are not willing to do it in a conscious manner so things like war, pollution, abuse of natural resources, unchecked genetic experimentation and modification, and so forth, will do it for us. I don't think technology will always be able to keep up with our exploitation. Your main point is very well taken. With great freedom comes great responsibility. When that responsibility is treated lightly and without respect, without compassion and empathy, karmic seeds are sown and eventually come to maturity as we see in the world today.

Sorry to be contrary (it is my nature and I am working on that ), however, this may be an interesting concept but I don't really think it has much value. Yes, it is important to have a feeling for what motion is occurring at the hips and what is occurring at the "waist" (any motion occurirng at the waist is actually rotation of the lumbar spine). On the other hand, I don't think there is any meaningful separation of the two in practice or application. They work together as an integrated unit at all times in my experience.

I'd like to respond to this post. The rotational motion of the torso used in bagua occurs primarily in two areas - the hip joints and the lumbar spine. If you look at photos of any bagua master (such as my post above), the degree that they rotate clearly indicates full rotation of both areas. There is so little motion in the pelvis (sacroiliac joints and symphysis pubis) that it's contribution to rotation is negligible. Each level of the lumbar spine allows a small amount of rotation (~ 3º), when all 6 levels of motion are added, the amount of motion is considerable. (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2223353/). This lumbar rotation is natural and something we make use of throughout our day. It is nothing to be afraid of. The hip joints allow for quite a bit of rotational movement. The standing and walking bagua posture restricts how much rotational motion occurs at the hip joints - my guess is in the 5 - 10º range but I don't know of any data to confirm this. Finally, there is a little bit of rotation occurring in the thoracic spine, shoulders, neck, and legs. The rotation should be felt as a wave of rotational energy propagating from the root to the crown. Eventually, that rotational energy is the focus but in the beginning proper posture and mechanics is the focus. I agree that no one should force the motion beyond what is comfortable and physically possible, but it is fundamentally important in bagua to engage the muscles in the axis of the body to have a continuous, isometric contraction occurring that is continuously creating a rotational momentum as we stand or walk the circle. This is the core exercise. Without it, we are not practicing bagua, IMO. The basic martial tool of bagua is using the turning of the "waist" (hips and spine) as a weapon. From a health and fitness perspective, maintaining flexibility of the hips and spine through exercise is an important method for reducing pain, weakness, and stiffness. Maintaining strength of the core trunk musculature (the very muscles we are exercising while maintaining isometric rotation of the axial skeleton) is a well established method of promoting a wide variety of health benefits (reference yoga, pilates, etc..). Don't fear the rotation, embrace it! Yes, the muscles and joints will be sore and tired in the beginning but that will improve. And if it doesn't improve, maybe bagua is not the best activity to engage in - try taijiquan... Just my $.02.

Really good question - I do think it is important to have a somewhat discriminating understanding of happiness for practices like these to be effective. If one wishes others happiness in a materialistic and egoistic way, that is potentially reinforcing ignorance and generating additional karmic burden. It's pretty easy, however, when generating positive will towards others to simply focus on a wish or prayer that they be relieved of their problems and suffering. That's a safe bet and doesn't require much knowledge of Buddhist jargon. Just my $.02.

If a teacher got good Kung Fu in his Chi Kung, Karate, or Tai Ji, he be good to learn from... that there is a safe bet.

I think one of the most important things is to make sure feet are in line with the knees while stepping around the circle. There is a tendency to rotate the lower leg inward or outward relative to the knee - this can cause collateral ligament strain, uneven cartilage loading, and even meniscal tears. Turning from the waist and hips is how the feet stay on the tangent to the circle without stressing the knees. Another thing I find enormously useful is standing meditation with the waist rotated, it helps build the isometric core strength that we maintain as we walk the circle and can prevent issues related to back pain. Edited to add standing posture photo

One thing that I do and highly recommend with any kindness and compassion practices is to make it very personal. It is easy for us to say words like, I wish and feel compassion for all sentient beings, but at the same time treat those close to us poorly. We also can get bogged down in concepts and intellect but feelings are where it really happens. I don't mean to say that your request for discussing the meaning of words in a prayer isn't helpful, I just want to supplement that with a less conceptual perspective. I always begin with bringing into my heart and mind, someone who I love dearly and feel that connection and how I would feel if they were hurt or afraid or needed help. Then I gradually expand that to less and less close people and move on to people I feel neutral about, and then those who I really have problems with. Then I move on to generating this sort of feeling for "all sentient beings"in a more collective sense. I think it takes a lot of practice to really get the last piece to be genuine and heartfelt. Making these practices close and personal rather than abstract and theoretical is extremely valuable for me. If the practices are done well and over time, one will find themselves in tears at times, and other times experiencing enormous love and joy for those in our practice. How it feels in our heart is the litmus test for skillful practice.

Wishing you health, happiness, and blessings in 2015, CT. May we all be more effective in our own practices and personal growth so that we may develop the wisdom and means to help all of those we contact in the coming year!

At one point or another in my life, I've probably been thought of as each one of these synonyms by someone or other (including myself). I don't really fit the mold expected of me by most of my colleagues and friends. I see it as a sign of mental health and awareness.

Ever read anything by Jose Saramago? Amazing fiction - especially Blindness. I wish I could read it in Portuguese...

The Instructions on the Six Lamps translated by Jean Luc Achard The Jew in the Lotus - Rodger Kamenetz Cultivating the Empty Field - Hongzhi Zhengue Tibetan Dream Yoga - Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche Guidance for Living and Dying: Bardo Teaching from the Bön Mother Tantra - Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche And I just finished the first fiction I've read in a long time - The Martian by Andy Weir It was quite compelling and technical, a nice interlude.

This is not the absolute. This is a mental state of dullness, apathy - depression, nihilism. I don't know what your practices are like but too much emphasis on emptiness can be problematic. Emptiness is inseparable from pristine clarity, it has infinite potential. The absolute 'gives rise to' all states, including the dullness but it is not dullness. Contact with the absolute is quite the opposite, it is infinitely full and magnificent, it's often described as great bliss. I'd suggest you talk to your teacher, if possible. This is not where you want to be, although it may be a stage you need to pass through to move forward.

In an absolute sense, there is no returning when one has never departed. Until we are familiar and habituated to the absolute, the relative predominates. In a relative sense, returning seems to be about constructing and then deconstructing. In life, we construct our reality through conditioning, learning, memory, judgement. It starts before birth and continues beyond death, doesn't it? Towards the end of our life all of that weighs very heavily and we must let it go at some point, often very traumatically. And then it starts all over again. If we are fortunate, we may see the wisdom in beginning to look at this whole process of construction and deconstruction while we are young and healthy. Then I think that we use alchemical methods to see the reality we have and are constructing, and many (?all) of these methods are used to create a new reality, something we can work with more effectively. At some point, however, we must see that we need to let go of all of that, even the method. That process may be a gradual one, a systematic deconstruction, but the more expedient way is to simply let go completely. In my experience that letting go is not a one time deal. It is an ongoing process that is very active in the sense that the habit which takes us in the opposite direction is very strong, like the paper. (PS credit goes to my teacher for the paper analogy) Perhaps at some point there is no longer a need for any effort but I'm not sure about that. I certainly have not reached that point. It appears to me that even the most advanced masters continue to live in the world and work at something or other while they are alive.

The first time I saw Jon Gomm play, I thought it was fake...

I think that people change, societies change, and hence tradition changes. Traditions become what they are, in part, because they work, they are there for a reason. They withstood the test of time at some point in history. We can learn wonderful lessons from them and they can enrich our lives. It is equally important to recognize when they no longer serve their original purpose and may even be counter-productive. People tend to get stuck out of habit and change can be frightening and painful. One of my favorite stories from the beautiful Anthony Demello goes like this - (for those with a Jesus or God-aversion, substitute your preferred words in the appropriate places) Where’s the Fire? "There was a man who invented the art of making fire. He took his tools and went to a tribe in the north, where it was very cold, bitterly cold. He taught the people there to make fire. The people were very interested. He showed them the uses to which they could put fire: they could cook, could keep themselves warm, etc. They were so grateful that they had learned the art of making fire. But before they could express their gratitude to the man, he disappeared. He wasn’t concerned with getting their recognition or gratitude; he was concerned about their well-being. He went to another tribe, where he again began to show them the value of his invention. People were interested there too, a bit too interested for the peace of mind of their priests, who began to notice that this man was drawing crowds and they were losing their popularity. So they decided to do away with him. They poisoned him, crucified him, put it any way you like. But they were afraid now that the people might turn against them, so they were very wise, even wily. Do you know what they did? They had a portrait of the man made and mounted it on the main altar of the temple. The instruments for making fire were placed in front of the portrait, and the people were taught to revere the portrait and to pay reverence to the instruments of fire, which they dutifully did for centuries. The veneration and the worship went on, but there was no fire. Where’s the fire? Where’s the love? Where’s the freedom? This is what spirituality is all about. Tragically, we tend to lose sight of this, don’t we? This is what Jesus Christ is all about. But we overemphasized the “Lord, Lord,” didn’t we? Where’s the fire? And if worship isn’t leading to the fire, if adoration isn’t leading to love, if the liturgy isn’t leading to a clearer perception of reality, if God isn’t leading to life, of what use is religion except to create more division, more fanaticism, more antagonism? It is not from lack of religion in the ordinary sense of the word that the world is suffering, it is from lack of love, lack of awareness. And love is generated through awareness and through no other way, no other way. Understand the obstructions you are putting in the way of love, freedom, and happiness and they will drop. Turn on the light of awareness and the darkness will disappear." - Anthony DeMello

No time to read so much just now but nice to see you back, deci <3

More folks who think like you....

It takes so many different forms at different times in our lives but what seems to be the core element that must "die", this "something", is ignorance. Ignorance is the fundamental illusion we develop, and continually reinforce, that there is a separate, independent, "me" inside this bag of skin that is distinct from the environment that surrounds "me". It is the error that creates an illusion of solidity out of space and awareness. Ignorance is the idea that the thought which claims the responsibility of thinker and doer is anything more than just another thought. Ignorance is the tendency we have to attach ourselves to an identity based on the roles we play in life. These roles include our profession or job, our relationship to others (father, daughter, wife, friend, etc..), nationality, religion, gender - anything we can (and do) identify with. It is those identities which, when they clash with what is (as opposed to what "should be"), lead to pleasure and pain. We can work our way through each of these identities, which is very difficult and time consuming, or cut it off at the root - the fundamental process of identification, much more subtle and profound. And at some point, we must even realize that the one who seeks to do this is just another illusion, the seeking is the problem, another manifestation of ignorance, and simply rest in that from which all of this manifests. The common theme here is that ignorance seems to be a tendency to create substance out of space, a tendency for collapse rather than expansion, a grasping rather than letting go, an arresting of entropy, which creates something concrete out of emptiness and awareness. It is at the core of our life experience. I don't know that we actually ever let go of anything or that anything dies. It seems more that there is the recognition that even all of this which is ignorance and cause for confusion is still a manifestation of that which we feel we are lacking, that source. As you said, it is always already who and what we are and it is unchanging, uncreated, and unceasing. I think that what we are letting go of, what is dying, is habit. If you roll up a piece of paper for 20 years then let it unroll, what does it do? We have been rolled up in one way or another for countless lifetimes. You can look at that metaphorically but also, in reality, the conditioning gets passed down from generation to generation, its propagated throughout cultures and society. We are quite rolled up. As we allow ourselves to unroll and see that we are that very same paper, whether rolled or not, we sort of transcend the need to distinguish rolled from unrolled and simply rest as we are. Anyway, some random responses to a great thread. I'll probably have a different response tomorrow or in an hour.

I think that is a very personal question. Each of us much search within ourselves for our answer. For me, personally, the behavior of those whose methods and teachings I would follow is important. Not necessarily because unacceptable behavior is an indication that the method is ineffective, rather it is an indication that the individual has failed However, the role of the teacher is, in part, to set an example - to show the students what fruition looks like so that they are able to better recognize it in themselves and become self-sufficient. Without that sort of example to follow, the road becomes that much more challenging. We can find all the information we need in books, videos, internet sites, and so on... The teacher needs to inspire us to integrate that information and transform it into something beautiful. I feel very sorry for all those who were abused and their families. Predators are a part of our lives and it is their nature to prey on the vulnerable. Many of them are drawn to spiritual teachings perhaps in part in an effort to try and tame their demons, but also perhaps knowing that there is opportunity there. We must be ever vigilant.