doc benway

PS - I will also acknowledge that I believe that much more can and should be done by the Tibetan Buddhist religious institution and all other religious institutions to fight sexual and physical abuse.

I'm not justifying any behavior, good or bad, I'm acknowledging it's existence and mode of existence. I would not consider Trungpa's behavior enlightened, nor that of his successor. He was a deeply flawed and disturbed human who happened to have a Tibetan Buddhist education and charisma. Having a glimpse of the truth does not make one infallible. Pedophiles and rapists should be dealt with appropriately. The existence of pedophilia in religious people and institutions does not negate the value of Buddhism, other religions, or their associated views. Just as the existence of pedophilia in schools does not negate the value of education, and the existence of pedophilia in humanity does not erase the value of all human beings. It is a cancer and it is our obligation to cut it out when and where we can. And pedophiles tend to be smart and resourceful and seek out sheltered environments and vulnerable victims. You know that. I never advocated any of the above and yet there is certainly a role for passivity where appropriate, a role for switching off the critical thinking at times to experience that which is beyond thought, and a role for accepting a beloved teacher or guide into one's life if that relationship is wholesome, supportive, and conducive to spiritual growth. And the credible gurus are very direct about the importance of carefully evaluating your teacher before, during, and after accepting their guidance. You do not need to accept that anything is "just an appearance," however that is a fundamental consequence of realizing emptiness. If you do not see the play between space, awareness, and the nature of phenomena, then you've not had that realization which is what I was referring to in my post. Also, I would not use the adjective "just" regarding appearances. Appearances are very real to us and are in fact everything that we see, do, and are during our life in samsara and nirvana - no "just" about it. And yet they have no inherent existence - they are impermanent. When a thunderstorm has passed over, the sky remains unaffected, That does not mean that the storm didn't happen.

Such delicious irony in this post! Absolutely marvelous... Thank you for that, Zoom. I would argue that if you had such realization, you would not be so vociferously opposed to Tibetan Buddhist ritual and trappings, even the hierarchy and paternalism. All of this is simply an ornament, an appearance. A realized being would have no objection to those who find such a path supportive and helpful to follow that. They would see the beauty and value for some the negative aspect for others. Both are nothing but ornamentation and of no real consequence...

I think the Mahayana path was developed in response to exactly your problem. We need to eliminate desire, but how to eliminate the desire to eliminate desire? How to eliminate the desire to seek liberation? By working for the liberation of all others first! Demello saw through this as well. He saw that there are different levels of selfishness - 1. The more coarse is to give my self the pleasure of pleasing myself 2. The more refined is to give my self the pleasure of pleasing others 3. The worst is to be motivated by avoidance of negative emotions His approach was to simply be aware of this. If we are fully aware in every moment, then everything falls into place. My current practice is Dzogchen. As you know, the bottom line is to first recognize and then rest in the nature of mind as much as possible. When you are able to really access that stillness, silence, and spaciousness that is there for all of us, there is no need to do anything, change anything, become anything, it is all already there and perfect. There is no need to suffer and no need to avoid suffering. The challenge is to be with that and in that space always... not easy. During those time when we cannot be in that place, there are lots of things we can do (purification practices, tantric practices, sutric practices, yogic practices) but nothing is better than being of service to others who need help - especially when you get nothing tangible in return. So I would suggest something like setting up a schedule of visits to a hospice or a nursing home. Read to someone who is blind or hold the hand of someone who is lonely or dying. Volunteer at a homeless shelter or soup kitchen. Lots of things like this can help us let go of our attachments, including our attachment to liberation.

... changed my mind.... nothing of value to add to this discussion Enjoy

For many years, I used the typical zafu/zabuton combination (round zafu). I tried the cut away zafu that you linked to but never got comfortable with it. Several months ago I started using this: http://www.dharmashop.com/tibetan-style-meditation-cushion/?gclid=CPvyqLir678CFahj7AodS2YAYA I love it - works well for me. I prefer buckwheat filling for this and the standard zafu. My hips are pretty loose, however, and I don't need a real high seat. If your hips are tight, this is a good alternative: http://www.samadhicushions.com/Gomden-Meditation-Cushion-s/30.htm Or consider sitting in a chair or on a meditation bench...

I agree that there is no stasis. On the other hand, if I change my lifestyle and change my eating and exercise habits, lose 100 lbs of fat and add 50 lbs of muscle, eat all organic foods, drink only pure water, sleep better,... clearly my physical and energetic body will be tangibly different - different energetic potential. Still changing every moment, certainly, but nevertheless greater potential for strength and health, lower potential for illness, etc... And that potential will last as long as those behaviors are maintained. In this way I do think there are energetic differences which are relatively maintained and yet in flux.

... alas, it's my nature It takes too much effort to be concise.

I think that both paradigms/labels have merit - storage and non-local. We store fat, muscle, bone, and all of that has energetic potential and existence. On the other hand, where is the separation between the "me" storing the fat and environment storing the me? Is it my bag of skin? That is artificial... And the fat "I" am "storing" changes minute to minute, day to day. I am more a whirlpool than a swimming pool, no? We are completely fluid and yet there is a relative stasis that is apparent, yet illusory...

Awareness Guru Yoga Inner Refuge Compassion Shamanic Internal (Martial) Arts

Yes, when we reach a point of stillness, silence, and spaciousness, what some call a connection to the unbounded space of existence, there can be quite a sensation of vertigo. I think it may occur when the boundary we normally associate with our 'self' is recognized by the body and brain as an illusion. This boundary is an illusion based on our sensory apparatus and thoughts, all of which conspire to make us think we are a separate something contained within a bag of skin. Meditation can allow us to see through this delusion. This is disorienting for the biological organism. Meditating with the eyes partially open should eliminate the vertigo to some degree but maybe not entirely, there may still be that sense of openness, spaciousness, that is so vast and 'un-anchoring,', if you will, that there may be that feeling of floating, difficulty distinguishing center from periphery, up from down, in from out, large from small, time distortion and so on. And that feeling may turn into a deep feeling of warmth and bliss as you connect with your spacious aspect and develop stability of awareness and spaciousness. The Bönpos refer to this as great bliss naturally arising from realization of the inseparability of space and awareness. Whether or not this is what you are experiencing is hard for me to tell, not knowing you or the depth of your practice and commitment, but that is one possibility. A very good book (and CD) that goes into this and gives very simple guidance for experiencing this "Inner Refuge" is Awakening the Luminous Mind by Tenzin Wangyal RInpoche. He's a great teacher and translates esoteric Tibetan methods into the Western paradigm and syntax quite well. Good luck with your practice.

I disagree with your premise. I don't think we really draw in, store, manipulate, impeded energy flow as much as we would like to think. It's an illusion created by the greatest delusion of all, the one we call "me." There is no me, it is an illusion created by our sensory apparatus and the mechanism of thought. If no me, who and what is there to impede or store energy? I do think we can become more aware of, more sensitive to energy through our sensory apparatus. (who is becoming more aware you might ask - awareness I would answer) I think that awareness, that sensitivity is misinterpreted as manipulating energy. So my answer is no, we are not creating black holes inside ourselves in a relative sense. On the other hand, yes - all black holes exist within our Self... Go figure

Great question. I would say, in general, that it is a function of the very complex history of our social, cultural, developmental, and genetic conditioning. In other words, our karma. The fundamental fascination that is hard to let go of is with the illusory permanence of our own life and that of those we love.

Do you meditate with your eyes open or closed? The feeling of spinning, vertigo, is generally not related to blood flow to the brain as much as to the body's position sensing mechanism which is related to the inner ear and associated neurological pathway, although both are certainly possible. If you sit or stand still for long periods of time with your eyes closed, it is not at all unusual for the lack of visual information to cause the brain to get a bit confused regarding the body's position in space. This is a very common experience for beginning meditators and generally the brain adjusts and it goes away. One way to see if this is the issue is to simply open the eyes and see if it stops. Meditating with the eyes open or partially closed will stop this. Assuming you are not holding the breath or hyper-ventilating, it's probably not related to oxygenation...

Wonderful to have such stimulating feelings! Makes one feel grateful for being alive, no? Like Demello says - pleasant experiences make life delightful, painful experiences are opportunities for growth. Feelings were meant to be felt, so feel them fully. What more needs to be done? You are married, he may as well be - enjoy your marriage, enjoy your infatuation, and share some of your writings with us! (I was also a big fan of some of his earlier fiction but haven't followed his work in a very long time - The Books of Blood knocked my socks off!) I've had a couple similar experiences on a much milder scale: I'm a huge fan of John McLaughlin (guitarist) and I once sent him an email describing my respect and admiration for his music and discussing a variety of things with no expectations whatsoever. He returned my email and was very friendly and supportive - we communicated back and forth (he's a big fan of Chan poetry), he invited me to a concert - it was a blast. I once had the opportunity to hang out with Michael Jackson for a week, yup that one... We were teens staying at the same hotel in Miami. We were the same age and neither of us had anyone else to hang out with. I was a big fan of his at the time (~'73) and had an absolute blast! Enjoy

Despite the fact that I am trying to live without the burden of hopes and desire... I wish I were there with you! Well, I guess that I am... Wonderful view, no?

I'll make an appeal to let go of the mind's desire to want to understand and simply do it. The mind wants to grasp, discriminate, define, and that is all limiting. What happens when we stand transcends understanding and limitation. Open yourself to everything you feel inside and outside. Feel as much spaciousness and openness as you can and then let all of that effort go as well. We can all put all sorts of labels and judgements on what's going on and none of that makes much difference. I challenge you to cut in half the amount of time you think about standing and put that time into standing... ... in a friendly and supportive way....

You seem to be a very sincere and dedicated practitioner. From looking at your long list of interests, I suspect that you have dabbled with a variety of approaches and systems. I don't think looking for yet another approach is the answer. Many of the things you've already looked at and mentioned are beautiful and effective systems. What tends to keep us from finding that peace we seek is the very seeking itself. You already have everything you need, to be what and where you want to be. It's more a process of letting go than adding or becoming. Rather than seek a new system, why not try something a bit different? Try just being... Simply try to cultivate awareness in every waking (and sleeping) moment. Pay attention to everything around you and inside of you - feelings, emotions, sensations, relationships, behaviors, how you react to the things in your life. Really, really close attention - take it all in. No analysis or intentional modification in the beginning, just open, unobscured attention. When things challenge you, pay attention, feel it fully, in you mind, body, emotions.... And when it feels difficult, allow it to be as it is, make room for it, cultivate a feeling of spaciousness for everything and everyone in your life. And when things excite you and make you feel great, do the same exact thing. Don't hold on, just watch, make space, allow it come fully, and allow it go completely. Just be which every little thing that comes up. Practice that for a while and see if it takes you anywhere. That's my suggestion, FWIW. With love,

Pretty much - it's hiding in plain sight

Thanks for the acknowledgement. It's always worth the effort to try and help. Different folks need different things at different times in their life. It's a blessing when we find something that works for us. It's not everyone's karma to do that.

I have no experience with the Western magic version. There are daytime practices but not so much trance related, there are practices related to intention, visualizations, specific sleeping postures. Not so much trying to look at the hands sort of thing or trying to wake up - it either happens or it doesn't I think. Once you do wake up you work to get some control of that and use it to help support your cultivation and growth. One goal is to help us loosen our feeling of our daytime existence being "solid" and "real." This helps with developing the view of impermanence and emptiness. It's also very helpful with making fundamental changes in our lives and helps prepare us for the Bardo (if you're into that sort of thing)... It's a very good book, BTW/IMO. Lot's of other dream practices out there and from what I've heard some are simpler and easier. I like this because it fits well with my other practices.

Dream yoga requires a fairly serious commitment, day and night. It's fairly easy to integrate into one's life, however.

It feels good to confirm one's assumptions.

Great news! Congratulations on your success.

Yes, the workshops cost real money - this one is, I think, 4 weeks with multiple video teachings, online forums where Rinpoche participates and answers questions, etc... It's not cheap but you get a lot for your money. The alternative is to simply work from the book: http://www.amazon.com/The-Tibetan-Yogas-Dream-Sleep/dp/1559391014 That's what I've done for the past 6 months. You get more from the online workshop but the book is enough for the right student (dovetails into our concurrent discussion, no?). If you decide to work with it and have questions or want to share notes, contact me. PS - I think that he will be teaching a 2 week workshop on dream yoga next summer in Virginia.