doc benway

An expectation is a belief that something will occur in the future. Once we attach our happiness to that, it becomes a desire. If we do not attach our happiness to it, it is simply a matter of fact, a landmark, an item of interest. No matter what expectation we have that is fulfilled, sooner or later another expectation arises. There is the endless cycle of seeking, achieving, then seeking something else. If you have an insight into this cycle, you may have the experience that happiness is not something that is related to expectation and fulfillment. Consequently, neither is unhappiness. Unhappiness arises from lack of touch with reality. There are those that have absolutely nothing and are completely fulfilled, terminal cancer patients who are completely happy, and people living in abject poverty who need nothing. Similarly, there are those who have more than they could spend or use in a lifetime and are absolutely miserable. Hollywood is proof positive that money does not equal happiness. So if you can tap into the source of true happiness, you may find that it has nothing to do with expectation or desire. It transcends all of that. Our problem is that we are conditioned from birth to a need for approval. First from our parents, then our extended family, teachers, friends, bosses, partners, spouses, society, etc... This is a deep addiction that is so endemic it is accepted as normal. And it is part of what is at the root of our problems related to expectation and desire. It is possible to free oneself of that burden but it first takes awareness of the problem and recognition of the truth. I guess the other aspect is the negative emotion. It is completely natural when an expectation is not met for there to be a feeling of disappointment, anger, whatever. Emotions come and go. No matter what you are feeling emotionally at any given time, stick around, it'll change... I don't think it is a problem to feel a negative emotion. That is being human and real. It's important, however, to avoid identifying with the emotion. That is where unhappiness comes in. One can be happy, fulfilled, content, and still experience the normal ups and downs of reactive emotion.

Expectations are not the problem per se. The negative emotion arises when we attach our happiness to the outcome. If the expectation is there, that is fine. If it is not met, that is fine too, move on. The problem is that we tend to tell ourselves - "I refuse to be happy (or, I am unable to be happy) unless fill in the blank." When we are able to experience that our happiness is independent of our expectations, we are liberated.

Exactly - very nice illustration. I've never seen that before. The Water position is referred to as Heavenly Pool because it is considered the source of the Heavenly Elixir which is utilized in the MCO practice.

There are three basic tongue positions, these positions refer to where the tip of the tongue rests on the palate - 1. Just behind the front teeth touching the roof = Air position, tends to cause some drying but not much. Best position for martial arts. 2. Touching top of roof of mouth/hard palate = Fire position, tends to be the most drying. 3. Touching the soft palate just behind the hard palate = Water position, tends to facilitate flow of saliva. Requires practice to become relaxed and comfortable. This is the optimum position for meditation in my style. In the beginning, however, if this causes too much tension in the face, mouth, or tongue, better to stick with the Air position.

My experience is that the whole concept of Qi being something that exists outside of "me" that I must suck in and store in my belly is a fallacy. It is a useful image we can create in our mind that helps us to regulate and deepen our respiration while becoming aware of the internal universe. Qi is always already there - it is what you are, not separate from you. My experience is that the process of Qi cultivation is more about becoming sensitive to what you are and awakening a different facet of awareness. There are many ways to cultivate Qi. As long as the source is credible and the process makes sense to you, it is right. You need to select a method, work with it for a while, and judge the results based on what is changing for you and what you are feeling. Mental images and scientific models are fun to think about but ultimately you must sit and breath and open your awareness to what is going on inside. Good luck!

I enjoyed the documentary "The God Who Wasn't There." I also liked "Zeitgeist: The Movie" which used quite a few excerpts from the former. I also liked "Supersize Me" and "Bowling for Columbine."

FWIW, though the film makers call this taiji sparring, I agree with Taomeow that this video does no capture the essence of taijiquan. It's actually MUCH closer to xingyiquan. Here is a video clip of the advanced xingyi two man set referred to as an shen pao - stable body pounding. Here are two more nice an shen pao videos. And looking at it again, it looks even more like a northern style gong fu two man set. Here's an example, though much shorter and less skillful, it is authentic. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=daFwGROlM9w

With respect to shaking, it may also be important in our response to trauma. This is the foundation for the trauma release work popularized by David Berceli and others. I apologize if this has already been brought up as I haven't read the whole thread. I also apologize if you've already read the story below - I think I posted it sometime ago. I had the opportunity to watch this in action a few years ago. I treated a young lady with a very complex finger fracture from a martial arts competition. She came in with her mom and was completely emotionally devastated. She was terribly fearful, closed down, crying, tense - literally a mess. I began explaining what should be done to fix her finger. She began trembling which then rapidly progressed to extremely violent shaking. Her mom panicked and began yelling at her to STOP! I asked mom to relax and let it work it's way out and tried to reassure her. It eventually settled down after about 2-3 minutes, by then mom was terrified. They then left the office still a little shaken up. The next time I saw her, she was completely transformed. She was optimistic, confident, even anxious to proceed with treatment. She was a model patient and had a great outcome - better than expected considering the severity of her injury. I'm convinced that the shaking was a natural and necessary part of the process. I suspect it has something to do with the nervous system releasing the fear, anxiety, and fill in the blank with whatever other words you like based on your preferred paradigm. Without that release, the trauma seems to become "trapped" somehow in the neuromuscular system (again - add or substitute your preferred paradigm here) only to linger or come back to haunt later. Unfortunately, we are conditioned to suppress such reactions and cause problems as a result, I think. I tried Berceli's trauma release techiniques for a while myself and had some response but, to be honest, didn't stick with it long enough to do it justice.

So, if the "soul (shen, qi) continues to exist after your "shell" has ceased to function, then who or what is it that continues? And what does it mean to continue? And if it continues after your "shell" ceases, then was it absent before your shell came into existence? I think if you can go very deeply into exactly "who" it is that has a soul and what that means, you may be able to come more to terms with dying because that is a glimpse into the nature of life/death and immortality.

Here is one perspective, FWIW - - Recognize that the negative feeling that you are experiencing is in you, someone else in your position might feel and react completely differently in an identical situation - Look carefully at how these feelings arise, where they come from, and recognize that you have a choice - allow the other's actions to determine how you feel or not - Can you feel what the other person is feeling? Can you see why they are responding the way that they do? That can be helpful. - Maintain your own integrity and stick to your core values, at the same time try to understand what they are feeling and trying to communicate - Yes, you have to experience these people from time to time if you are going to live in society. And see if you can recognize your own potential for being like this in another's eyes from time to time - chances are you don't realize it when that happens - But you do not have to be a little monkey on a leash reacting to someone else's problem, you can stay centered and confident in your efforts to help them while respecting your own right to be happy and free of their confusion and emotion Great questions and thread - IMO, this is the work that counts. I need to deal with this constantly in my work. You never see yourself more clearly than in the mirror of relationship, whether that is a long term or transient one. Good luck!

I'll try to get this done for you. You can post anything you want as long as it is within forum rules. ie no insults, threats, pornography, copywritten material, etc... Not sure what you are referring to regarding "protected" - can you be more specific? Edited to add - your forum is now ready for use, please enjoy. I see what you are referring to about "protected" and I don't know what that means. I'll see if I can find out.

Enter the Void - Gaspard Noe The Holy Mountain - Alejandro Jodorowsky El Topo - same Rashomon - Akira Kurosawa I'll think of more later perhaps.

Well said.

Great question - I think it is very instructive to look carefully at why we participate, why we post what we do, why we react in certain ways based on others' responses to our contributions. Nothing more instructive than looking at all of that with brutal honesty. Rather than point out other folks' failings and foolishness, why not become an expert on one's own?

Or could it be that it's not nature waiting, but us? She is already there for us, we just need to be ready to accept. We need to let go of everything that is in the way and look with fresh eyes and an open heart.

I think it would be a mistake to take advice from anonymous strangers on this. I'd recommend you'd get it checked out by a doctor. The type of sounds you're describing are more suggestive of a neurological or inner ear issue than mental illness but, as you mention, auditory hallucinations are often a symptom of schizophrenia. In mental illness, the hallucinations do tend to become more personal in nature and often are described as voices. Good luck.

I have no idea. Many people talk about different qualities of different keys but to me they are all relative and I haven't felt too much difference. Do you have perfect pitch Barb? I certainly don't and some folks I know who do describe it as both a blessing and a curse... I've been playing a lot of guitar lately and I'm going to do some experimenting with transposing things to different keys and see what comes up. I've been connecting with crows lately, I'll have to pay attention to the pitch of their calls. Recently, I had a crow hang out with me for quite a while on the beach while I practiced a shamanic qigong set channeling the eagle. I was really intrigued by the enormous variety of sounds he made.

1. To Be Human - Jiddu Krishnamurti 2. Awareness - Anthony Demello 3. My own training notebooks (I'm cheating because I have 3 notebooks)

Lord of the Rings and Dune are my favorites. Here are some other really good ones: His Dark Materials by Phillip Pullman Dan Simmons - The Hyperion Trilogy (and anything else) The Sparrow and Children of God by Mary Doria Russell Geek Love by Katherine Dunn Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell Wicked by Gregory Maguire And another good one is - Hard Boiled Universe and the End of the World by Haruki Murakami

Are you willing to share the name of your guru?

Anthony Demello tells a funny story about borders - I'll try to briefly paraphrase it. During the time when the borders were being drawn between Russia and Finland, people whose property straddled the neutral zone were forced to declare their loyalty to either Finland or Russia. Naturally, many people were concerned that choosing Finland could lead to repercusions from the Russians. On the other hand, they were not excited about being under Russian rule. An old farmer was approached by a Russian soldier and asked to declare his loyalty, to which he replied Finland! When asked to explain why he would choose Finland over Russia he replied, "Because at my age, sir, I don't think I could survive another Russian winter!"

Very simple, pay attention to everything going on inside of you and around you

Awareness