doc benway

The Dao Bums
  • Content count

    11,447
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    259

Everything posted by doc benway

  1. Transgender Q&A

    Do you assume that I have perfected my practice and engage in it continuously? I’m flattered but it’s simply not the case. It’s one thing to talk about the effects and mechanism of a spiritual practice and realization and another thing to live it perfectly in every waking, sleeping, dreaming, and dying moment. That takes a lot of practice and dedication. Compartmentalizing has never worked for me as best I can tell. My thoughts and feelings don’t respect any inner boundaries, they arise when they will and I make no effort to segregate them but I have a few options. Sometimes they come and go spontaneously and effortlessly and there is nothing to be done. Sometimes I engage my practice which involves simply being with the thoughts and feelings for as long as is needed until they liberate. Sometimes I choose to act on them and engage with people and situations. All that said, my journey has often brought me face to face with paradox and contradiction, in me, in others, in spiritual teachings, in science, and in the world in general. I love this quote from the Celtic mystic John O’Donohue: ”We need to have greater patience with our sense of inner contradiction in order to allow its different dimensions to come into conversation within us. There is a secret light and vital energy in contradiction. Where is energy, there is life and growth. Your contemplative solitude will allow your contradictions to emerge with clarity and force. If you remain faithful to this energy, you will gradually come to participate in a harmony that lies deeper than any contradiction. This will give you new courage to engage the depth, danger, and darkness of your life.” I don’t claim to know your true intention, I will assume it is pure, but this reminds me of a friend and colleague who hides behind a disclaimer much like this one anytime he wants to ask probing and potentially offensive questions. While your intentions may be very pure and innocent, the effects of our words often take on a life of their own. Yes, we can have conversations, that’s what we are doing right now. We can and should ask questions and comment on answers and then we need to be prepared to deal with whatever consequences may arise, some of which may be unpredictable and seem to us unwarranted. What seems a reasonable question to you may sound very aggressive or demeaning in the mind of someone else, particularly someone who has been sensitized by circumstances you don’t have a frame of reference to fully understand. We create our reality through the lens of our life experience. Words are powerful and, since we are in the thread regarding transgender Q&A in the context of the OP announcing her departure from the forum, there’s a big difference between worrying about your kid losing a basketball game to a trans female and losing your healthcare, your job, and validity as a human being because of your gender identity. One may ask questions on a reasonable level, full of calm and curiosity and just trying to educate themselves. Another may react to those questions as if their very existence and safety are being threatened. Which is being unreasonable?
  2. Transgender Q&A

    This puts me in mind of a quote from Robert Jones, Jr, sometimes mis-attributed to James Baldwin -
  3. Transgender Q&A

    Yes, there is the practice and the ideal of non-identification. It is a wonderful practice and, with enough familiarity, becomes effortless and very consistent. It serves me well in many circumstances. And then there’s the imperfect human being living in a society that is regressing towards xenophobic, racist, misogynist, fascist, theocratic and imperialistic ideologies. This leads to anger and fear, especially for those more vulnerable to the cruel policies of this insane administration and its supporters. These are genuine feelings and have an important place in my life and our society. While spiritual practices are important, and effective at easing the stress and suffering, it is very easy to bypass real feelings and forego the real need to engage for the benefit of others, and for myself. My life, at the moment, embraces both the numinous and the pain. I do try to engage in practice regularly, whenever the need is there, but do not try to suppress outrage in the face of outrageous offenses.
  4. Transgender Q&A

    An entire group of living and loving human beings, trans and intersex, not to mention the rest of the LGBTQ+ community, are being faced with legalized discrimination, loss of jobs, loss of healthcare, loss of humanity, violence and threats of violence, high rates of suicide, and loss of validation as human beings in the US and elsewhere. And yet there’s all this hand wringing about a handful of trans women competing in sports and the possibility of an unfair edge in competition. My feeling is FUCK sports and an unfair edge in competition at the moment. In the context of the loss of basic human rights, it is an exceedingly unimportant detail that deserves the least priority and attention. We can have that discussion AFTER we insure that our federal, state, and local governments acknowledge the need for safety, healthcare, and basic human rights for people, regardless of gender identity. Sex and gender are most certainly NOT binary or dichotomous. That is a societal construct of convenience. Anyone stuck in, or choosing, that particular type of ignorance should educate themselves. https://newsroom.ucla.edu/stories/male-or-female Apologies if I sound harsh but my tolerance for anti-trans propaganda and the ridiculous obsession with related athletic issues is at an all time low.
  5. I think this is a wonderful topic for exploration which rewards patient and careful consideration over time, far more than any simple answer you could receive from even the most knowledgeable experts. I’ve slowly developed my own view over decades of learning, practice, and reflection and would say, for me it is an ongoing process that is informed by a variety of traditions. In other words, I think this is a very personal thing. For a cogent and very concise discussion of the topic, here is a nice short article from Lion’s Roar which I recommend. https://www.lionsroar.com/ask-the-teachers-13/ Reincarnation is the idea that there is a fixed, permanent entity, eg a soul, which continues after life eventually inhabiting a new body in future incarnations. Buddhist and Bön thought leans more toward the term rebirth which seems to acknowledge the observation of recurrent patterns among the living without necessarily postulating an independent entity that transcends death and re-incarnates. When it comes to rebirth, Buddhism is not completely homogenous. It contains multiple variants which have differing views on the topic. It’s also important to acknowledge that these concepts are rooted in Hindu metaphysics, among others, which were adapted to fit Buddhism’s radical reformation. In Tibetan, there is the idea of kunzhi namshe, similar to the Sanskrit alaya vinjana. It may be worth your time to research these terms a bit, I’m not the best one to offer an accurate summary but they describe the way Buddhists imagine our karmic traces and debts to be stored and continue through the cycle of rebirth without postulating the continuity of individual souls. On a tangent, you may find it interesting to explore ancient Tibetan ideas about the soul which are important in Tibetan medicine and can give some insight into the process and nature of rebirth in the Tibetan paradigm. The “bla” is a unique concept, often translated into English as soul, but having very different connotations. I don’t believe there is necessarily one “important lesson to be learned.” Just as there are infinite lives, there are infinite possible lessons to be learned. If there is one very important lesson it may be simply to take a step back from identifying too closely with the endless questions and answers that arise in the mind and the one who is asking and answering; to simply observe that process with an open mind and open heart and see what it has to tell you. Yes, the realization of the illusory nature of our experience of being an independent and separate self is profoundly liberating. Does it liberate one from rebirth? I can’t say for sure because I haven’t died yet. I can say that it does liberate me from a great deal of stress and suffering in my day to day experience of this life. How does consciousness allow for that? By cultivating familiarity with, and trust in, radical openness to life and experience in each and every moment. Holding on to a fixed set of expectations and assumptions, and resistance to change, are primary causes of stress and discomfort. Trusting that each and every situation I find myself in can be met with the openness, warmth, and presence of my practice overcomes that, once I have enough experience and confidence to genuinely validate that trust. It’s a bit like holding tightly to something, thinking that you are in deep water and unable to swim; then letting go and finding the water is shallow or that you are so bouyant that the depth of the water is irrelevant. You develop trust and confidence in being open to whatever circumstances are present in this very moment, knowing the openness, clarity, and spaciousness of your practice, of your very being, which is the more fundamental nature of “self,” can accommodate anything, far more than that limited, fragile sense of a self trapped within a bag of skin with a fixed and finite set of ideas. This is a good illustration of the power of not identifying with the illusory self. If I hold tightly to certain beliefs or traditions, if I identify with them, words could feel insulting or provocative. This is why politics and religion cause such intense reactivity, because we identify with them at a deep level, we allow them to define our core values, our very sense of self. If I am fully open to your words, without feeling the need to grasp at or protect my own beliefs, my spiritual identity if you will, then who is there to take offense? I can be open to being right, to being wrong, to believing this or believing that, or best of all IME, to releasing any sense of a need to believe. Why is there a need to grasp at a belief when I can be open and present to this very moment, as it is? A good metaphor for this is being as the sky, open and clear. Clouds and even powerful storms can arise in the sky, but they simply pass through, leaving the sky open and clear, as before. The sky is indestructible because it is empty.
  6. Well put. The potential obstacle I was referring to with my post, is the inaccessibility of credible teachers and validated methods, particularly among Westerners pursuing Daoist methods. Far too easy to get stuck or misguided, working with books, videos, and online teachers of dubious credibility, some of whom teach amalgamated methods that do not have the reliability and insurance of lineage. This is particularly problematic with the “energy body” methods which require precise technique and guidance from a master.
  7. Transgender Q&A

    I’m deeply sorry for your traumatic experience here. I left the Current Events area after stepping down from the mod position. It is heartbreaking when people I want to like and engage with show their willingness to turn a blind eye to the abject terror others are experiencing due to loss of rights, loss of safety, loss of humanity, loss of validation. I will hold you in my heart, along with all people threatened by the current socio-political cruelty and the ignorance and apathy that enable it.
  8. Don’t have the energy right now but thanks for the iconoside, I do prefer reality. Makes sense in a goal-oriented paradigm at least. I can’t say for sure, I guess it depends. You’ve got your visionaries, like Basquiat, Kahlo, Keats, Rimbaud, Saramago, Dickens, Zappa, Schoenberg, Herzog, Tarantino… so many autodidacts in the arts, and in spirituality… And for many of us a narrow and rigid focus is an essential step in the process, it certainly was for me.
  9. Some of the best fighters I've ever encountered were street fighters with no formal training. To fight well you need to fight a lot, the fewer rules the faster your progress. Sure, training can help but experience is better. There are some exceptions of course, eg. the Gracie methods were unbeatable in the ring in the early days of MMA, they truly showed the value of a secret weapon in the ring, but not necessarily in the street. To chisel your body you need to work out, you don't necessarily need a trainer or specific routine, although one can help, no doubt. I never said no effort is needed, I said these things can develop naturally and spontaneously. One aspect of effort is our experience of resistance to an activity. When we do something we need to do or love to do, it feels effortless, regardless of how much time and energy we invest. When we hate what we're doing, or feel it is a waste of time, the tiniest bit of effort is exhausting. The point I am making is that too much and too narrow a focus, also too much effort, are not always a good thing. Some folks need and thrive on it, some do better with a different approach. Your experience is valid for you but not universal. What is meaningful in life and spiritual growth depends on the individual. The best way to achieve one's goals is also a very individual thing. Clearly, where you are at this moment in your life, you need structure and a narrow focus. Others, in other circumstances, may find far more meaning in freedom and a wide open perspective. There is little value, or validity when we project what we need onto others. Having trained in a credible Daoist system for about a dozen years, and a Bön Buddhist system for about the same, my experience is that both (rigid, narrow focus vs open, flexible perspective) can bring profound benefits with very different methodology. The other thing I've found is that both Daoist and Buddhist traditions embrace both types of methodology in different aspects of their trainings. Two things that are important for growth, regardless of methodology, are persistence and trust.
  10. An alternative perspective - no one needs to teach a child to walk or run. It happens naturally and spontaneously, when they are ready - ziran. Wisdom can also happen naturally and spontaneously. In many ways, I suggest that it is the infatuation with “cultivation” and “energy” that can be dysfunctional and counter-productive for a lot of people
  11. Software issues.

    Me too
  12. Transgender Q&A

    I always assumed that fascism, authoritarianism, and related atrocities were forced on a populace. It's now painfully clear that it is a choice and for me that is so much more disturbing.
  13. Transgender Q&A

    I would suggest that it is bad for all humanity. The degree of ignorance and cruelty that allows human beings to support such behavior, even codify it into policy, is painful for me to come to terms with. The mindset that allows such actions requires dehumanization, suppression of empathy, and selective ignorance. Once these are in place anything is possible, none of it good.
  14. Transgender Q&A

    No surprise. It's always there and waiting for opportunity and permission to be expressed more openly.
  15. Help me find a name for my meditation blog

    Rather than suggest a title, I'll suggest that you pick a title that speaks to your personal relationship to the topic. Why is it important to you? What does it mean to you? What image or feeling does it bring up for you? I think that personal touch is communicated to people and makes a difference.
  16. Which books sit on your nightstand?

    Emily Dickinson Collected Poems, The Secret Some things that fly there be,— Birds, hours, the bumble-bee: Of these no elegy. Some things that stay there be,— Grief, hills, eternity: Nor this behooveth me. There are, that resting, rise. Can I expound the skies? How still the riddle lies!
  17. Which books sit on your nightstand?

    Just finished Question 7 by Richard Flanagan. What a great read! One of the things I really like is how it was influenced by the Yolnju language, in particular its use of a fourth tense which is neither past, present, nor future, but more a suggestion of the continuity of life, living, and connection, outside temporal limitations.
  18. When you “get it,” referring to realizing, direct understanding of, “the highest spiritual teachings” in Tibetan Buddhism, you realize it’s been staring you in the face the entire time. There’s never been a moment you were a hair’s breadth away from it, and yet you just couldn’t see it. If your karma is not right, you won’t get it, no matter how it is presented.
  19. Everyone post some favorite quotes!

    "Money is like shit. Pile it up and it stinks. Spread it around and you can grow things." ~ Richard Flanagan, Question 7
  20. It seems to me that you have a very narrow definition of what is meaningful in an esoteric context. Each of us needs something different and unique to grow. I would agree that what we need, in other words what we have to work with, are what conditions are present for us in any given moment and we have limited control over that. I also agree that support of a community can be very valuable. At the end of the day, however, each of us has to do the inner work by and for ourselves. No one, not even the greatest teacher can do it for us.
  21. The Totally Boring News Thread

    In addition to the beauty of the game and its players, I also find great beauty in chess pieces, ancient, classic, and modern. A few years back, I purchased a set hand made by a Romanian chess master, IM Biró Sándor. They are unique, rustic, and very sturdy for aggressive players. The size differential between kings, queens, and "lesser" pieces is far less than traditional designs. The knights are particularly interesting and the pawns are HUGE. I think this is an homage to the often underestimated importance and power of pawns and "lesser" pieces. You can see the set here - https://caissa.ro/ChessSet/ It's been copied by a few of the companies in India that manufacture the majority of chess sets worldwide, called the Romanian Hungarian set but giving no credit, or royalties, to Mr. Sándor. The knight was used as a model for the World Championship competition set endorsed by the FIDE. I once lost my wedding band. I'd been at kendo practice that morning. Looked everywhere, went back and checked the locker. Scoured the car, house, everywhere I'd been that day. When changing clothes that evening, found it in the cuff of my jeans, it had accompanied me all day at my ankle, snickering. Another time I lost a pen that was very special, given me by my father. Could not find it for a year. One day it showed up on my front porch... just a little worse for wear.
  22. The Totally Boring News Thread

    I rarely listen to podcasts but recently discovered Poetry Unbound. I listened to a poem today on the way to work, The Seventh Circle of Earth by Ocean Vuong. It's not a very long drive but I cried most of the way. In other news, I generally don't drink much coffee but that has changed since discovering La Colombe's All Dark and finding my old Bodum french press.
  23. Perhaps the most concise definition of religion I’ve read.
  24. Haiku Chain

    I’ll get a little crazy and combine and continue the thread: nothing can compare to the pleasure of hugging my guns, and my cats
  25. Haiku Chain

    blessed sanity has drown’d herself in the Gulf of Amerika