Forgiveness, for me, is a personal and private act of releasing the pain and bitterness of perceived offense. It has little to do with anyone else or their choices. It allows me to diminish my own burden, if genuine.
Repentance or contrition is also a personal and private act of releasing the burden of having offended myself or others. It allows me to diminish my own burden, if genuine.
If I depend on someone else’s repentance to consider forgiveness, or vice versa, I am only harming myself, no one else, withholding the possibility of healing and growth. My sustained experience of offense and the associated stress only harms me, it does nothing to my offender.
Maya Angelou has some beautiful statements and poetry about the subject. The film Rubaru Roshni is a beautiful and touching film about forgiveness, highly recommended.
