doc benway

Wonderful day to think about and honor the important women in our lives! Not sure what, but I'll do something special for my special ladies today. Also a great opportunity to think about the subtle, and not so subtle, ways in which women struggle with freedom and equality around the world. Thanks virtue!

Depends on whether he lurked here for a while first...

That beard just looks so in love with itself! 🤣

Yeah but if we’re all one why don’t my abs look like that?

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. As I've said before, I've little doubt we would hit it off royally in "real life." I do take issue, however, with threats against members here and I'll continue to speak out when people cross that line. Your ideas about Buddhism as offered above are quite inaccurate. Are you familiar with the term "crazy wisdom"? It is very much like what you describe learning from your teacher and the old sage and it is a common sign of advanced levels of attainment in tantra and dzogchen. That said, there is a Tibetan saying that goes something like - even if your view is as expansive as the sky, you should maintain conduct as fine as barley flour. Meaning that even though you are capable of acting crazy and beyond the karmic consequences due to a very high level of practice, there is no reason not to continue to act human. Ever heard the story about Milarepa? Sounds a bit like your teacher as well. He was a magician, a murder, etc... and ultimately became a highly regarded Buddhist master despite, and partly because of his earlier life experience. There is nothing wrong with ego, it will be our companion as long as we live. Thinking we can kill it is an error or an arrogance. Taking it as our companion and our path to growth is skillful. There is nothing wrong with emotions, they are a natural and beautiful part of the human condition. The more advanced Buddhist teachings are not telling us to kill the ego, or wallow in suffering and pine for death. It is more about not over-identifying with these momentary and transient energetic winds but to simply allow them to come and go as they please without allowing them to carry us away in directions we do not choose to go. Liberation allows us to be free to enjoy the pleasure of living, which makes live delightful; to be free to experience the pain of living, which is a source of our growth; and yet to also be free of either as a yoke or an unwanted, dysfunctional pattern. I agree whole-heartedly that we need to let go of our anger as easily and quickly as it comes. Here is a beautiful quote from the poet, Maya Angelou about this very topic. To put it in context, she was a victim of sexual abuse as a young child: "Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. But anger is like fire. It burns it all clean." Anger certainly has a place in our lives but letting go of it is equally important.

You can create threads on anything here. Maybe the "Rabbit Hole" would be the best place for it. I don't follow much news, about cars or anything else. I have seen some interest from some folks around here so it's probably worthwhile.

We can all use our interactions here as a way to grow. If we are serious practitioners, that’s what we do. Every conflict or episode of inner reactivity gives us opportunities. I love to see evidence of that from Steve or anyone else. Your recent experience is a great example. It simply takes the courage to look at ourselves clearly and to be a bit vulnerable. It’s not easy, particularly for martial artists who spend so much time training to be tough. I was in that defensive, reactive place for most of my life. Fortunately, I found there is an alternative that gives me far more flexibility and potential. And paradoxically, it doesn’t take away from the martial potential, rather it enhances. In taijiquan, it is an aspect of the 13th posture, or 5th step - 中定 - zhong ding, or central equilibrium.

People will read this thread and be flocking to a remote Costa Rican jungle to live with a guy who threatens to kill, stomp, and beat the fuck out of anonymous strangers on the internet. 🤣🤣🤣

Best news I’ve had yet today, although it’s early. Thank you Does threatening people actually make you feel stronger? It certainly makes you look weak and impotent online. I’ve met a few angry, old martial “artists” who are stuck in a mindset of threats and violence. They don’t know any other way to be and it eats them up. It’s sad to see. It indicates that you are lacking, not powerful. You could recognize it and learn from it, or just continue the dysfunctional pattern of empty threats and inner violence. You do yourself far more harm than you do others, Stevie. You’ve probably met lots of them, eh? 🤣

The sage is child-like. Your behavior is child-ish. Big difference. You’re no sage. Funny, disrespecting your own teacher and tradition with your childish behavior isn’t enough? Now you want to insult mine? The beauty of your presence here is that it disproves the very premise of this thread. Your anger betrays weakness, not strength. Political correctness relates to over-protecting victims who are socially disadvantaged or discriminated against. That buzzword doesn’t apply here.

I sure get that feeling from this thread...

I bet mama Nunga would have a thing or two to say about that photo!

The like button I feel we should show each other some minimal degree of respect. Even Steve’s empty threats are still threats, and unacceptable.

And you condone threats of physical violence? Oh, right - it’s only beating the fuck out of someone. You get his meaning, cool.

Because you act like a child. No self control, no self-awareness. Is this what mastery of your teacher’s neigong looks like? Big bold letters and threats of physical violence? Maybe you need a break.

Of course it’s not about me, it’s about you. No one else. Until you see that, you’ll never really understand inner work.

Please clarify your statement. Do you want to kill one of us? Or am I taking this out of context?

There's a lot of chaff, information-wise, and the occasional pearl. Where it really clicks for me is when I genuinely begin to like the people and feel their support and offer some back. That's rare in "real" life and it's amazing that technology widens this opportunity for us. But it takes a little risk, a little vulnerability, and a little bit of trust. This is what find most beautiful about this place and also the most frustrating - the missed opportunities. When we're more concerned with ourselves, whether we are right, wanting to teach and correct others, wanting to sell stuff, wanting to impress... then I feel that disappointment too.

Very glad this one passed the sniff test. There are a handful of people whose posts I read consistently. Needless to say, you are one. One thing I’ve noticed lately is how often I leave things unsaid. I’m not referring to my posts here, that changed years ago. As you mentioned, I delete the majority of posts I write and consider them carefully before offering them to the community. But in my day to day relationships - with my wife, my kids, my coworkers, and those who come to me for help; I simply seem to notice before careless, unhelpful, or potentially hurtful words are said. They come into awareness but then something happens, some space forms around them, there is a slight pause and the words hang there, ready to fly, and I simply choose to let them be. I don’t think I’ve ever regretted not saying something. On the other hand, I’ve regretted saying things too often. Your other theme regarding our illusion that we know what others need or how they should act is also very dear to my heart. It’s fascinating to watch how arrogantly certain our minds can be about life choices of another when we are so blind about ourselves. Not much more to add to your eloquent posts here today. With love and deep respect! 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

You do seem to post things in order to elicit a response. Calling people deviants for not obeying your personal gender expectations, obsessing over sex, etc... How do you expect people to respond? What are you looking for here?

I use the ignore feature from time to time. It actually works well for me, although I have to admit I find myself looking at ignored posts sometimes. Mostly I find that I feel foolish using it. How can I hope to make any progress with respect to the real challenges in my life if I can't deal with my reactivity to annoying, anonymous, keyboard warriors? So I periodically take everyone off ignore and take all of this childish mudslinging as my practice. What I mean by that is when I notice myself getting reactive to someone or something said, I turn inward and rest in the Nature of Mind as I pay attention to those feelings and thoughts inside. Without exception, that allows the reactivity to simply dissolve and I generally see humor in whatever was bothersome.

So cool to see you revive this old thread with an update. Hard to believe it’s been 13 years! I appreciate your distinction. My teacher once spoke a bit about this sort of thing and it really clicked for me. The question came up, why do people describe so many different experiences from spiritual practice? One person may speak of profound openness, another might describe a feeling of immortality, another great power or clairvoyance.... The explanation is that when we have a spiritual insight or breakthrough, what we are feeling is the release of whatever was blocking us. So we will feel the opposite of whatever the obstacle was. I’ve had a variety of non-dual and related experiences and, looking back at them, this made perfect sense to me. PS - there’s nothing mini about these experiences

Which one do you feel like?

That’s nice to hear about the real you. When people are anonymous and sitting behind a computer screen they do tend to behave differently - more dismissive, more rude, less understanding, more aggressive. Just look at Facebook and Twitter. It’s nauseating how rude we can be to each other. I’m that way sometimes, far less than I used to be. I don’t see the angry internet troll as the “true self.” I see it as a more artificial self created by isolation and electronic communication. I think your true self is who you are face to face, in town, wherever, interacting with fellow humans in person. I’d love to know that side of you, and all the other blustery keyboard warriors.

I've always enjoyed watching the tables get turned on bullies... It's been nice to watch things evolve here without moderation. The community seems to be coming together and self-moderating in interesting ways.