VeeCee

I'm with you. I was born in 1958, but I am also bothered by a lot of sounds and visual images. As a result, I watch almost no television and rarely have any kind of background noise (radio, cds, etc.). This became especially noticable about the seven years ago after a self-imposed media fast (no tv, no radio, no newspaper, no magazines). My last vice is my computer, which I'm obviously not going to give up. V.

Very interesting indeed! I have long felt that young people DO have a decreased attention span and a higher need for stimulation. It is a chicken and egg question, isn't it? Did the increased stimulation of today's media cause a shorter attention span or did a shorter attention span cause the increased stimulation of the media? Anyway - I've tried to be proactive in raising my daughter by limiting the amount of time she spends watching tv, playing on the computer, and playing video games. Still, she's an average 13 year old with zero attention span. Will she outgrow it? Who knows? V.

I need to quit reading this thread. You see this as a happy ending, but I see it as two years of cheap, meaningless sex. This line of thinking is so far away from who I am that I will NEVER get it. Signing off. V.

There's a lot of discussion about this right now on Beliefnet if you want to check it out. http://www.beliefnet.com/ V.

Do I detect a little Joseph Campbell here? V.

70-80% of All women - really? I'd be curious to do informal poll of the women on this site as to the approximately percentage of jerk men they encounter (present company excluded, of course). Actually, it seems like we're spending waaaaay too much time focusing on the folks with negative qualities and not enough on the folks with positive qualities. I suppose if your goal is quantity (like Pietro) than you're going to have to work with the messed up ones, but I think your time would be better spent looking for the "good" ones (imo). V.

Agreed. V.

That was what I was trying to say. I think that Pietro and I have a different interpretation of the word integrity. Okay makes sense, but that's not the same as saying that women have LESS integrity than men. Perhaps a different kind of integrity. Agreed - women and men DO think and act differently. Again, my concern was that there was a value judgement being made because of the difference. Agreed - however that does not mean that one is necessarily "better" than the other, just different. I can't speak to that, but I can say that my temper was starting to rise. That's the thing - there are both men and women with integrity issues. You can't just paint one gender or the other with a broad brush. Thank you bothfor your thoughtful responses. All I really wanted was for someone to explain the concepts to me without being condesending. Your feedback is greatly appreciated. V.

I guess I'm confused about which feelings or intuition you are refering to. Do you mean the feelings/intuition of a woman in making a decision regarding whether she is interested in a man? What I object to is the idea that women are less likely than men to act on their word/integrity. Could be an issue of symantics. The way I as a woman interpret the meaning of integrity vs. the way Pietro as a man interprets it. Maybe it's a Mars/Venus thing.

[You, a man, find those views insulting for women. Hmm, that seem to be quite complicated. How come I never am insulted on proxy?] Actually I am a woman. [in any case the article has an internal consistency, the idea that women tend to act on the feeling of the moment (the here-now), at the expense of their word and integrity (atleast what we male would call integrity), and men tend to act more on their word and integrity, at the expense of the feeling of the moment (the here-now).] That's what I find offensive - that you believe women are less likely to act on their word/integrity than men. I guess it all depends on which side of the fence you're on. [ I often discuss those ideas with women I have sex with and they find the idea interesting and often illuminating in understanding their own behaviour.] I find it interesting that none of these women are offended that you question their integrity or call your own into account given your game playing. [but of course that would not be enough for you, you are back to the idea that you need to make a full confession to a woman before having sex with her. Why? Does whe make a full confession to you about what she thinks about men? Do you think all the women you had sex with thought only nice things about men?] Actually, I've never had sex with a woman. And I've known every man I've had sex with long before we actually had sex. No hidden agenda, no game playing. [You are stuck at the idea that you need to get along with your women. It is not a 1970 commune, your role is to fuck her, not to friend her.] I respectfully disagree.

Yoda, Let me know how you do on the anti-gray campaign. I started going gray in my 20's (as did both my parents). Right now, my largest discretionary expense is my monthly trip to the colorist. V.

Pietro, I'm sorry but I find the views espoused on that site insulting to women in general. Do the women you seduce know that you support these views? If not - then we're back to lying and game playing. V.

Absolutely! I hadn't checked out the link before and was just responding to what has been said here. If I had done it before I would have passed right over this discussion. What a waste of time!

I certainly don't believe that they are madonnas or bitches - I understand that they know they are being played. What I'm trying to understand is the long-term impact on you. I will admit that this whole concept (PUA) is just not my thing. I've spent a long time trying to figure myself out (40 some years). I won't say that I have the whole thing worked out, but I do know this - I am and always have been a serial monogamist (sex in the context of a relationship). On those times when I have had sex outside of a relationship, I do not like the way it feels. This is not religious/cultural influences talking, this is who I AM. I don't expect the whole world to think the way I do. Just trying to give a different point of view.

I'd like to add a personal photo. Thanks!

But what does all the lying and game playing do to YOU if it is not who you really are? I think that ultimately it has to do some deep lasting damage. So is it really worth it? V.

Yes!

I agree with Ian - acting "as if" is not the same as actually being. I think that eventually the cognitive dissonance is eventually going to cause problems (imo). Better to be one's "real" self - warts and all. V.

BCT, Have faith, you'll meet someone who has no faith. V.

Not to bust in on your conversation, but I was wondering if the sheep in Pietro's picture has signed a release. V.

Cool. Thanks! V.

Ian, How does one find out what kind of monkey (or in my case - dog) they are? V.

Do you mean celebacy by choice only? I was celebate the last six years of my marriage - but it wasn't for personal development. V.

On the flip side of the older woman/younger man scenario, I've been dating an "older" man for the past seven years. Truthfully the sex is much better than when I was married/dated men my own age. That could be because I'm more comfortable with my own sexuality now, or he has less of a need to prove himself. Who knows? Anyway, I think each relationship is unique. Enjoy it for what it is. V.

Yoda, Given that GT is only 22, I take the comment with a grain of salt. My response was meant in a joking manner. V. Edit for typo