longrhythm

Eugene. There's so many different systems that will put this so many different ways. There's no one answer to your questions, there's no right answer. Even with a teacher, you're still left as the only one who experiences what you do. Bottom line is, you are playing with your nervous system in ways that are typically processed unconciously, and so you should always tread carefully. If it feels like too much, back off. You'll be ok if you err on the side of caution. Coming from someone who's experienced very real physical changes using Chia's stuff (you mention the big draw) my experience is that it can be interpreted in an overzealous way and takes time and unfortunately some error to find the level of subtlety and finesse that makes it safe to play with fire (he's a pretty fiery fire method). So balance your fire practice with water practice, observe yourself passively at least as much as you impose on yourself actively if not more, and go slow.

I've been off the news for years now. I don't think it's running from anything to choose not to seek it out. Let's put it this way, if someone in front of you were in immediate danger and you could do something to help, would you? That's the time to question whether you're running from reality. Media confuses people, we lose a sense of reality because we have too much capacity to "shape" it. When in fact media, based on truth or fiction, is just a "guided meditation" of sorts, a hand to hold as you are led through an exercise in imagination. The events in the news are of another time and place, out of your hands. The only thing you can do is react emotionally to it, without any productive outlet. It's indulgence, and it's useless. If you like feeling like crap and being a rubbernecker, by all means you have plenty of company. Me I'd rather choose to focus on the positive and deal only with what's put in front of me.

On the lumbar.

Just based what you say he did to get there, it would seem logical to OPEN THE FRONT CHANNEL! Seriously though, spend some time with the guy and teach him to run the front up and down and get it wide open and connected to the back. Fill in the gaps. That's my two cents anyway.

Beautiful.

In keeping with fractals our bones are circuits, like our MCO, whose energy distribution mirrors that of the orbit which mirrors that of the entire energy body. Fractals exist across multiple planes.

for brainstorming meditations and testing them. Snapshots of practice possibilities at junctions. IE shifting focus back and forth between two points, or two directions. 10 minutes at a time. EX - two adjacent points on the orbit. two non adjacent points on the orbit. eyes up eyes down. alternate with breath. Breath naturally. Forget counts.

Coordinate diet with practice - IE: Alkaline diet and bone marrow washing ? High mineral and bone squeezing ? High protein and strength training ? High vitamin and perspective ? Most earth and yin is marrow, most heaven and yang is skin and air and contact. Is air contact?

Put your finger against a vertebrae. Feel the vertebrae with your finger. Feel your finger with the vertebrae. While applying pressure to your finger USING YOUR VERTEBRAE, bend forward from the next vertebrae up, leaving your spine from that point down in original position. You can get each freaking disc, including all the chakras.

Hey blue I love this place as much as the next but make sure you're not letting a handle on an internet forum define spiritual attainment for you. The words on here are only as valuable as you say they are. I like much about Castaneda but he was full of shit on this one. (Perhaps because he disliked his -- granted, stupid and uninspiring -- wife and abandoned his own son and needed to create a defensive self-justification so as not to feel guilty.) The holes appear from NOT having kids or from not treating them right. The holes MEND from having, and treating right, a reasonable number of kids (too many are indeed depleting if you take real emotional, mental and physical care of all of them, and how many is "too many" -- for some people it's even one, others can do it for two or three... more is indeed depleting. The cut-off number of people one can truly love -- not in the new-agey sense of the word love, in the sense of die for without a second's hesitation -- is seven. It means that a human being was originally intended to love two parents, one spouse, two or three kids, and a friend or two or a grandparent or two or a teacher or two -- if there's more people in need of his/her love, or fewer, it produces holes in the energy body.) Even physiologically it stands to reason that raising a family does not do as much damage as not raising one -- consider the following facts: bachelors live an average of 10 to 15 (depending on the country surveyed) years shorter lives than married men (which makes being married the single most efficient longevity strategy for males, statistically far surpassing any cultivation practice in existence); women who didn't have children get breast cancer at 10 times the rate of those who did; women who had children and breastfed them for close to a year have the lowest risk of all reproductive cancers; women who had very many sex partners (prostitutes) have 30 times the rate of cervical cancer; women who had no sex partners (nuns) have 10 times the risk of breast cancer and 15 times the risk of ovarian cancer compared to married women; and finally, the immortal female Sun Bu-er did find it difficult to cultivate while she was raising her children, so she cultivated an ordinary married woman's life -- being a great mother and a loving wife -- till she was 57, and that's when a celestial teacher sought her out and told her, "Now you're ready, for now your humanity is fully realized, so now you can come with me to the mountains and cultivate your immortality." She did just that -- to become one of the Eight Immortals, which makes her one of the most important and influential beings in the history of being. Now I can't help imagining what those celestial teachers think when someone is knocking on heaven's door who did plenty of arcane taoist cultivation but hadn't realized his or her humanity -- not just "fully" but even "slightly" -- by being fully human first. They are a merry bunch and they must be splitting their sides laughing every time they observe the dufus. To produce other humans and see them through is fully human. Tao invented it. You think she'd be punishing whoever follows her in this manner by installing a glass ceiling?.. She's not dumb, not cruel, and not self-defeating... she's the Great Mother herself, matter of fact... with no holes in her energy body resulting from the fact. Tao fa ziran -- tao patterns on herself The above post greatly disturbed me. Especially if it is based off of Objective Knowledge (instead of the normal subjective knowledge of a typical human) - that is, knowledge only available once the higher Heart-Wisdom center and Higher Intellect center have awakened to the Tao. I do not understand why women who do not have children are shit on so bad by the Tao. Does being a fully matured humane woman only show it's fullest and highest manifestation by getting pregnant and having a child? If so I am screwed no matter what I attempt to attain. I came into this world KNOWING (not just believing but actually KNOWING) even by the age of 5 that I was not going to ever have children of my own. It came true. Now I see someone of exceedingly high spiritual attainment compared to myself in the prior post saying how women who do not have children are damaged - this is born out as proof even medically - much less "energetically" . Well...so be it. It is what it is. I don't understand why the universe shits on women who do not have babies but whatever. Just because we don't like something doesn't mean it might not be true. So whatever. I still have an ego. I still have all 5 poisons as Buddhists talk about. I still have my "chief defective feature". My Essence (as Gurdjieff puts it) is very likely a stunted little nub. I still am asleep-at-the-wheel. I don't know what is right or wrong anymore. Sex fills me only with sadness and despair, not happiness. I doubt everything. And now apparently I find that remaining childless means I'm defective and not even a fully manifested loving woman nor will I ever know or be able to experience the highest heart-mind's love (the love that has no downside - unlike ordinary human loves that do) no matter how often I practice Secret Smile to awaken it. I have to admit I'm pissed hearing this. I did not realize the Tao was so unjust with it's Love-Wisdom or Chi-Vibrations. Whatever. It is what it is. As above...so below.

Sure sounds like spleen to me and fits right in with what Rain was saying.

I'd bet it's because "If I could find this in a 20 year old, I'd grab it in a heartbeat" My roommate is in something like this- although I don't think she has quite the depth of character that I get the feeling you have Mestena. Then again neither does her older guy. In any case the thought that popped up in my head which I felt compelled to share had to do with your subject. Physical vs. Soul. I'd say on a soul level you already know what a great connection you have. Now you're thinking about starting a physical relationship- and I suspect that's where the desire for the 20 yr old packaging comes in. It makes perfect sense. I'll say that generally I struggle to find women my age that can relate to my perspectives, and although I've had some great connections with older women that really understood and appreciated where I was coming from- I still default back to the less satisfying emotional bond with the more satisfying physical bond that I find in most women my age. It's funny it almost seems like a spectrum. Physical vs mental attraction and the hardest thing is to find a balance. I've had a few like that but it's been rare indeed. Either way good luck girl.

I'll say two things- One- in my experience retention is about more than semen. It should flower out to your general way of being. This means controlling other urges, like the urge to compliment profusely, or the urge to always be around someone. If you have enough self control to tame the greatest natural urge in your body then these little emotional urges should be a piece of cake. Two- I don't remember anymore but it might be in one. Really in my case I just take comfort in knowing I'm giving it to her good, and let that do the talking for me. Backing off a little can only bring her running. Retain your compliments dude- it's an expression of the energy your building but find a more productive place to channel it. Brian

One of the things that very much attracted me to Taoism was the clear definitions of male and female roles. Between the cultural climate of coastal US city life, and my personal upbringing, I felt that as something really lacking in my life, and spent years in all sorts of ways seeking to develop that part of myself that is aware of distinctly masculine and feminine traits. It was a relief to find something that cut all the way down to the spiritual level that addresses these distinctions so beautifully. Something I have found in my own experience, is as a man, I fear being used for my status, accomplishments, and intellect, and want to be loved by women for who I feel I really am, which I tend to identify as my body if not more specifically my heart. Something I feel I've observed about many many women is that they fear being used for their bodies, and want to be loved by men (or at least respected) for their status, accomplishments, and intellect. From a socio-political standpoint, this looks quite simply like a grass is always greener scenario, but more recently for me, through my practices and studies, I have come to see male as primarily spirit occupying body, and female as primarily body containing spirit. In that way, I see the yin in yang and yang in yin as being the driving force behind heterosexual attraction, in that I don't want to be used for my spirit, as that's what I am, but rather for my body, which is what I have- and a woman would not want to be used for her body, which is what she is, but rather for her spirit, which is what she has. So it looks that way that we want to be wanted not for what we are, since nobody wants to be possessed, but rather for what we have, as that is what we can actually give. Just some thoughts I wanted to put out there and I would love to hear responses, tangents, anything else that comes to mind. Brian

My last relationship was distance like that. I noticed that when I didn't ejaculate during sex, I had a burst of energy afterwards. I'd usually go for a run while she napped. When I did ejaculate, I needed sleep. There's more to it. The more I let myself ejaculate during sex, the more I let myself indulge my baser emotions in the relationship, and eventually her tests got to me and I stopped caring about the sake of the relationship enough to remain unaffected. Retention of semen I've experienced correlates directly with control of focus and emotion in other areas of life as well. All that being said, it's easy to practice. First do kegels. Do lots. Anytime you're sitting or standing around and bored. You can probably find MANY times a day to do this. Then solo practice. You wanna get as close to the edge as you can and then hold back. Once you get used to doing things this way you'll see it's much much harder to ejaculate. At a certain point you'll really have to try to make it happen. At that point, have all the sex you want, and keep your energy. In fact, have all the sex you want and let it BUILD your energy.

It's also available free on his site, and it's a very good read

Not limited to a theory, but to past experience. And of course ideally not limited but educated by. It's generally easy for me to have clarity and be loving. But when it comes to romantic love, being in love, feeling passion for a woman, whew. There's almost a spectrum with clarity on one end and passion on the other.

I love this answer Freeform. But I do think no matter how mature the type of romantic love, it has something to do with ungrounded energy. I've had relationships where I was VERY vulnerable, but that only fueled the spark of emotion that cycled through my system, thoughts and behavior, and in many cases sent more and more sparks the same route. It's such a beautiful way to look at it though, because in hindsight, every relationship I've ended has had a particular energetic pathway in my body that in time became obvious that it was not compatible with the pathways that promote my healthiest functioning. Likely because of the lack of ground. But jeez man, excellent metaphor!

Now we're cooking with gas! KK- You're very right in some ways- Something that's important to me though- I guess the drive for spiritual pursuit in the first place- it's a desire to find something enduring. That might be the witness, might be God, might be unconditional love, it might be the part of us that's all connected to each other, but it's certainly there. I know every cell in my body is new by 7 years old, but I know me, so something was awake the entire time to see it pass. And that to me, is the driving force in intimacy. Sure it's probably not possible, which is why intimacy often pairs with varying degrees of frustration, but the main motivator for me to get close to someone is to reconcile, expose, release that enduring part of me that's been there all along. C'est la vie. Mal- I used to have this kind of perspective, too. It took a long time and alot of struggling with unhealthy relationships for me to acknowledge that in my own life, I wanted clearer definitions of the roles for more defined relationships. I guess according to Frank B Kermit you could say I went from relationships that swing through his definitions like a pendulum, where everyday was a battle for who was gonna be the one more than the other, where those roles were set up straight from the outset, and since defining them it has become much more obvious when it's time to let go of a relationship. KK- Those clinging situations- those were what I found over and over, until I started to define male/female roles and relationships. Having clear definitions in the beginning of a relationship creates a context, and that context acts as a kind of barometer, so it's clear to see when it's not gonna play out any further. For example, if it starts off where, on the Frank B Kermit scale, I'm the one with more potential partners than her, and at some point that changes, the dynamic shifts greatly, it leaves the defined context, and one of the factors that fueled the attraction in the first place disappears. I have my own checklist, that's not exactly Kermits, but includes some of the same, and once an item or two gets checked off, I know it's time to cut losses. This has certainly spared me lots of the pain I used to experience hanging on to relationships that were past their expiration date, wondering why things weren't going well anymore. HOWEVER- this brings me back to my original point- with some new clarity (thanks guys) If a context can act as a barometer for the success of a particular relationship (and I feel this is the case because of the tendency for a relationship to play out over time according to it's initial unique terms of engagement, much the way a top spins after you let it go) then the context defined can absolutely determine the success or failure of that relationship. Now obviously there will always be hidden and unconctrollable variables. But the goal for me is, knowing that I want to feel connection with that part of me that has endured, and always will endure, to find the context, the definition of male/female roles, that will be most conducive to forming that sort of relationship. Thank you guys very much for your thoughts. You certainly have granted me some clarity.

This is looking like an exercise in hyperbole. What about your thoughts on the matter, as opposed to your rhetoric soaked critique of mine?

Well you certainly caught the contradiction in my post without question, but your example is a little off the mark and I'm not so sure I'm anywhere off the Earth here. I'm not rich, or a CEO, or someone that would use other people for money, but I have been with more than one woman who over time it became clear that what drew her to me were things about me that I didn't consider were really enduring. I have always felt wary of people who admired me for my hobbies and pursuits, and I have always had women in my life who sought approval for their hobbies and pursuits. This is the observation I was making, and Taoism does have some great notions that to me account for it. This is not even a question about money, in fact I never mentioned money or riches- status, accomplishments and intellect. These aren't even things I COULD share, as in my life they are mostly intangibles- still they tend to be an attracting factor to the women in my life and this feels like something that is not ME. I hope I've been clearer with this one, not sure how else to put it.

You got me there it certainly did work Hopefully works as well on the girls... In any case I think you have a good perspective on it, and I'd say surrender is a big part of it, but I always maintain that there's the yin and yang, or yielding and active to everything. So as much as I want to surrender to falling in love, I want to actively make those connections happen- if by nothing more than a disposition. Sure you can't create what's not there, but there's a better chance of finding something when your eyes are open. When I was younger I'd tell myself I loved a girl before I felt it, and sure enough, the feeling would come shortly after. Sharp can be painful if you're not looking for it, it can be incredibly admirable if you are. Intent can shape interpretation, which shapes interactions. Just two more of my cents.

This was a really stupid thing to say. First off we have some women on here too, and their input on this subject would maybe be more valuable than the bulk of boys, men, ballsacks whatever you wanna call them. But seriously, don't insult the people you're asking for feedback if you don't get as much as you wanted, even if it is as a joke. That said, I just posted this, and realizing it may have been inspired by your post, figured it's probably relevant enough to put as a reply here. To be honest the reason I didn't initially think to weigh in on your post is because you asked so many questions and said such a mouthful to begin with that I didn't really feel enough room to respond. Like I knew I wanted to, but it would've taken too much thought to do so with the amount of guidance included in the OP. So that being said here's my thoughts: One of the things that very much attracted me to Taoism was the clear definitions of male and female roles. Between the cultural climate of coastal US city life, and my personal upbringing, I felt that as something really lacking in my life, and spent years in all sorts of ways seeking to develop that part of myself that is aware of distinctly masculine and feminine traits. It was a relief to find something that cut all the way down to the spiritual level that addresses these distinctions so beautifully. Something I have found in my own experience, is as a man, I fear being used for my status, accomplishments, and intellect, and want to be loved by women for who I feel I really am, which I tend to identify as my body if not more specifically my heart. Something I feel I've observed about many many women is that they fear being used for their bodies, and want to be loved by men (or at least respected) for their status, accomplishments, and intellect. From a socio-political standpoint, this looks quite simply like a grass is always greener scenario, but more recently for me, through my practices and studies, I have come to see male as primarily spirit occupying body, and female as primarily body containing spirit. In that way, I see the yin in yang and yang in yin as being the driving force behind heterosexual attraction, in that I don't want to be used for my spirit, as that's what I am, but rather for my body, which is what I have- and a woman would not want to be used for her body, which is what she is, but rather for her spirit, which is what she has. So it looks that way that we want to be wanted not for what we are, since nobody wants to be possessed, but rather for what we have, as that is what we can actually give. Just some thoughts I wanted to put out there and I would love to hear responses, tangents, anything else that comes to mind. Brian

Nice post man Any recommended reading?

Something I was actually feeling earlier today. And the way I've come to experience it is this- Ego- reactive, flighty, fighty, aggressive, volatile Confidence- Firm and Gentle. Confidence is a beautiful place to be.