Edward M

Lino, No disrespect, but you need help. Some medication would allow you see beyond your delusions and realise that you are making jangle associations between things and that your ego is convincing you that you are allways right. Please seek help my friend! i went through what you are going through...and yes it is very hard, but if you let down your psychological defences and listen with an open heart to others advice including the doctor's advice then i promise you will get better and enjoy a happier more fullfilled life along with peace of mind--thats a promise. all the best peace Ed

Lino, Seriousley dude, listen to Santi, he is giving you good advice....take it from me- i used to be delusional and paranoid. I was diagnosed as schizophrenic because i made up false memorys and misinterpreted reality. I was in hell for a long time but i continued meditating and then standing. I went through all this for 6 years until one day everything changed for the better. My advice is to do lots of standing and just relax... hope this helps somewhat and sorry for all the I's peace Ed

and kalki avatar will come in our lifetimes. What do you yall think?

I recomend Serge Augier who lives in paris...http://urbandaouk.blogspot.com/ his blog is here. you can contact him through rumsoakedfist forum if you look for his username which his name. he does internal kungfu and qigong as well as some special doaist meditation. peace Ed

Here you can get tales of brother marcus: http://www.imagier.com/ and also http://www.watkinsbooks.co.uk/cgi-bin/newinfo.pl?item=9780955841514 both places are uk based, but if you can afford shipping charges, go for it! peace Ed

No worries Yangluchan, my pleasure! Royal jelly would be good, have not tried it myself....i use romanian bee pollen that has been air dried as opposed to heated. I don't know how important it is to know if the problem is yin/yang, but i'm sure some of the others will pitch in here never heard of the 24 hr thing with zhan zhuang as it isn't focusing on circulating energy etc just relaxing and letting it happen naturally...i think of it as letting the body sense what it needs at that time to rebalance itself by way of being in a neutral position, one that is whole (relaxtion and physical effort together). so if it senses loss of kidney energy or jing then it can start working to build it up etc. seems like you have progressed in terms of attitude, which is key! all the best! Ed

I've never been into retention work, just bouts of celibacy...but i get similar symptoms to you. I suggest doing zhan zhuang (standing like a tree) or if you can take it either wing chun stance or horse stance for as long as you can. this will strengthen your knees and jing/kidneys. if you can afford it, get the book the way of energy by lam kam cheun. stay away from caffiene and refined sugar. Get yourself some goji berries and make tea with them and eat the berries after you have drunk the tea. Also bee pollen is excellent for enrgy and bulding up the kideneys. If you worry after losing reproductive fluid about your symptoms it will make things worse...just relax andget on with things! Try to meditate everyday........my advice is mindfullness or vipassana unless you have a teacher in which case you can do microcosmic orbit, but i'd say only if you have a teacher or guide...plus ive heard from an old teacher that if you do mco and then stop before it is established (say 6months) then it can damage you internally. best of luck! peace Ed

Hey, I'd highly recomend, "Tales of Brother Marcus - the rose priory dialouges" It's about a guy who comes back from india where he had been searching for a guru, but had not found one. He ends up going to talks with a christian mystic who is well versed in the kabalah. He talks about meditation, the bagavad gita, the bible and it's kabalistic interpretation, the chemistry of consciousness etc.... the end is amazing-- i wont tell you why! it's very well written and you will 100% get some good insights from it. peace Ed

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=5474604744218568426#docid=2621126395522133576 have not watched all this yet...so if it is nonsense i apologise now hope you like it! Ed

Ano0ther thing i forgot to say was you need to DANCE!! just put on some music and dance dance dance.... seriousley just let loose and see what your body does to the music...don't worry about noise or anything else, just dance and i garantee that you will feel amazing the next morning. It's all about letting your body which knows what it needs to do what it needs to readjust and come back to normal. relax relax relax be happy be happy and smile... Best of luck my friend! Ed

Sounds like nervous tension to me....you need to relax, take a break from cultivating chi as you messign things up, this will give your body a chance to naturally readjust itself. Secondly, find a wife and have some good sex and you will feel much better .. i promise seriously worrying makes these things ten times worse, ive been there. drink some green tea and goji berrie tea to help relax and heal you. Hope you feel better soon my friend...i'm praying for your health! peace Ed

Hey Vaj....thanks once again...i'll have to contemplate it a lot, because it is so against what i've imagined/visualised it to be like; that is probably the problem, i need to experience it lol.. yea man hugs all round hehe!! cheers Ed

Hi Vaj, Thanks for your reply i understand what you have written (i think)....and i agree everything is interconnected, but i don't get the cause going back adinfinitum,, because where did all the causes start off, don't you think there was a first cause of being/existence and from that everything evolved interconectidely (sp?) ? I'm not saying there was once a being that caused the the first cause..more like the first cause itself is what we would term God, or the underlying principle that buddha first learned after leaving the palace which he understood and accepted. Thanks again! Ed

Vaj, what did buddha mean as the unborn, the unoriginated, the uncreated, the deathless, in your opinion? honest question not trying to stir anything up peace

Bro, i'm not a victim of anyone, i'm not involved in this arguement. peace

Way to go Susan!! it saddens me when i see all this politics brought into the spiritual/mystical realm....it has no place here! guys leave it out, you are acting like children...no offence! peace Ed

Like the title says, i'm looking to open up my heart for more forgiveness, acceptance etc I have heard much about the sufi meditation being very adept at this for the persistant practitioner. Would anyone be so kind as to share a meditation of this sort? Thanks in advance! Ed

We are all supposed to have one...so how do we get in contact? any ideas?? cheers Ed

Marblehead, thanks for your input! that was helpfull Ed

Oh and God bless you too mate! Ed

Good to hear, thanks Santi! ill send your salams to them for sure! peace Ed

TTT

To be honest i've never asked Alex if he can do things like that John Chang.....not sure why one would want those type of powers other than to get attention. peace Ed

Yes they have, the ability to successfully defend themselves against attackers. hope that helps Ed

Hey Santi, yes his a warrior....he speaks highly of you also! sorry if i pissed you off on facebook over messing you around with kap (i said id do it then pulled out because of college commitments!) will you still be in uk at the end of august or just for the kap course? he is doing a retreat end of august, if you still here, you should turn up! peace Ed