Easynow

Hi, Does anybody here know any good practices to help with the above? I need to stop stressing out about sex and just relax I know, but I notice that even during masturbation the erection is often weak, sometimes I ejaculate without even a full erection. I have started taking Zinc and L-Arginine, and practicing the chinese deer exercise, but the drive is still low. I used to watch a lot of porn. I have quit this practice now, and watch it maybe once a month on a bad day (like today). I just don't seem to get very horny. Anxious, stressed, angry and fearful yes, but relaxed and aroused, not so often. Any help?

Hey Brian, It works at a neurochemical level, too. Check out http://www.reuniting.info/ Jack

I don't want to look bulky. Just less lanky and gangly will do. Thanks for the food suggestions. Does anybody have any more?

Hello, I'm currently lifting weights twice a week. I would like to gain some muscle weight but notice that I often feel bloated, out-of-sync, etc., from all the food necessary to gain weight. Most food is clean, some not. Also, I could really benefit from 'unwinding the belly', so to speak, as so much emotional baggage is stored in this area. So a free digestion would be really helpful. Does anybody have any diet or food suggestions that are highly nutritious but easily digestible?

Whey Protein, Oats, Fresh Fruit in a blender. Sometimes with pre-made smoothie, juices, raw cacao, guarana powder, etc., Sometimes I'll make Porridge with seeds, goji berries, etc.

Thanks for the reply. The thing is this therapy is something I am only looking into now and may require a bit more time to get up and running. I really do think my nervous system has become more of a nervous system from all this stuff though, so I will go to the TCM place tomorrow. And consider Chi Kung. Any advice on telling a good accupuncturist/herbalist apart from a poor one? Thanks.

From a couple of months ago, I began weightlifting twice a week, and going to hatha yoga once a week. Not much cardio in there and my job is pretty sedentary. Hey Erdweir. Yeah, it is just one avenue I am looking into. The sexual issues have their root in having an incredibly tight, unretractive foreskin when young, so I would feel nothing with my previous girlfriends. I was circumcised when 18, but had performance anxiety (coupled with shame from watching a lot of pornography and for my own sexual desires - I could not integrate 'sex' and 'love'). See - its a complex issue and one probably beyond accupuncture. I am going to the only centre in Europe that deals with this in person, with a combination of transpersonal therapy, energy clearing, and sexual partner surrogacy therapy. It will be deep work. I am hoping accupuncture, herbs, and chi gung may help to rebalance my system and support this process. Good on you with the hair! Alcohol, marijuana, MDMA, 2-CI, psilocybe mushrooms, salvia divinorum. I suspect the 2-ci had most effect, iodine in that there be.. Yeah, I used to push it too hard with some meditations and would get hardcore kriyas, emotional instability, etc., Yet calming meditation simply provides a very quiet, nice place.. and its comfortable. But when I get too into that 'witness' state, my entire perception of reality turns upside-down, and I fear for my own psyche/human/social integration. I become very quiet, withdrawn, anti-social, I just zone out more and more into this trance state. I also feel a kind of existential anxiety with this. Namely "sex", and anything to do with this subject. Also feeling 'needy', 'feminine', 'poor me', 'easily intimidated', 'no spine', 'walkover'. Sexually frustrated virgin kind of situation. Felt in the sacral and solar plexus regions. I would say I am still storing negativity towards my father, also.

Hello, I am making a note of things I consider possibly imbalanced in me, to take to the TCM practitioner in town tomorrow. Your opinions would also be interesting to read. Okay, I wonder if my Yin and my Yang are out of balance. Weak sense of masculinity. Cold extremities. Waking tired, low energy. Desire to meditate/introspect/hibernate. Sexual shame/fear. Sense of discomfort/blockage in abdomen. Weak erections, very rarely do I get 'morning wood'. Receding hairline at 22. A habit towards pleasing others over myself. Difficulties integrating and expressing anger, force, and lust. Also increasingly a couple of guys at work have been noting how 'girly' I appear lately. Especially since I reintroduced AYP mantra meditation, I get to a comfortable cool witness state and just want to stay there! Now, I'm aware these are things beyond the scope of accupuncture and herbs, and I am working on my issues, but I would be interested in hearing out whether accupuncture and chinese herbs may help me get my balance back. Chi Gung is not out of the question either - I think my system has been fried by different meditation techniques, negative sexual history (phimosis), and too many drugs. Good idea, you reckon? Also, any tips on finding a GOOD Accupuncturist? Any good questions to ask? I lack knowledge in it. Many thanks. JW

Hey Jenakins, You say he gets 'emotional' - does he also close down and constrict when he gets emotional, or can his consciousness be open and can he express the thoughts and feelings honestly? I get an intuition he has some kind of messed up feelings about sex that he doesn't understand himself. Low self esteem, feeling 'he is not enough', maybe. The fact he said this to you is suggestive that he not only still feels this way, but also represses this out of shame as you have asked him not to talk in this way. If that is the case perhaps he just does not feel comfortable sharing every aspect of himself with you. Just an idea. I don't know, sex is a really complicated subject. Real intimacy and trust would be the context for positive change, however. Mindgames & PUA tricks like this 'cat' shit would probably not provide a real cure. Just more manipulation and mistrust. Best Jack

Hi Jenakins, One possibility - this is not necessarily a PROBLEM. It could be his natural way. I see people recommending herbs. These may help at a certain level. But at a deeper level, it is more likely mental/emotional/spiritual blocks regarding sex. Like, fear of his own power as a man, anxiety with his performance, buried resentment at women or with you, shame for having sexual urges. He could be depressed. If it is this stuff, and you are serious about making things work with him, then you will need to provide a very safe environment for him to feel safe talking about this stuff. How emotionally intimate are you two?

A commune is one thing, institutionalisation is another!!

Okay, I went to that centre at the weekend. The founder of the centre would make a good Taobum, swear. He is totally keyed in on consciousness, inner silence, meditation, energy centres, etc., It looks like an amazing setup. Sexual healing through soul-level intimacy. Kind of terrifying, but what an opportunity!! On another note, I've been feeling a lot of anger towards my ex the last couple of days. Just realising how 'duped' I got during the relationship without realising, starting to see her in a different light and having a lot of rage come up. Also she told me about a few guys she'd started sleeping with again since we broke up, which majorly put me into shame, depression, inadequacy.. which has now worked its way up to ANGER at her. Also ENVY as a part of me that I repress would also like to be having lots of enjoyable sex but.. THIS BLOCK. Urgh, its infuriating really. But at least I am getting onto a path to recovery. Any good exercises for balancing -sexual frustration-? Or do I just have to accept that lust as part of me, instead of being afraid of it? It feels like I'd turn into a perverted monster if I surrendered to it.

Good thing I eat porridge with Manuka Honey and cinnamon nearly every day.

Hey Eric, I am going to see a professional sexual therapy/surrogacy organisation on Sat 25th about a resolution to the anxiety and other inssues. Road to recovery. Thanks, Trunk. Will do this. I am feeling on the whole better than when I posted this.. I believe the Chi in Nature poem has bought in a degree of energy that has helped keep me on an even keel. I've still some things to work on, but optimism is increasing. Easy now. OH yeah... Big Thanks to the 'bums for looking out for me. I will be posting more in my personal practice forum sometime soon. Keep an eye out, keep visiting! http://www.thetaobums.com/Easynow-f107.html Jack