Easynow

Hi, Does anybody here know any good practices to help with the above? I need to stop stressing out about sex and just relax I know, but I notice that even during masturbation the erection is often weak, sometimes I ejaculate without even a full erection. I have started taking Zinc and L-Arginine, and practicing the chinese deer exercise, but the drive is still low. I used to watch a lot of porn. I have quit this practice now, and watch it maybe once a month on a bad day (like today). I just don't seem to get very horny. Anxious, stressed, angry and fearful yes, but relaxed and aroused, not so often. Any help?

Hey Brian, It works at a neurochemical level, too. Check out http://www.reuniting.info/ Jack

Hello, I'm currently lifting weights twice a week. I would like to gain some muscle weight but notice that I often feel bloated, out-of-sync, etc., from all the food necessary to gain weight. Most food is clean, some not. Also, I could really benefit from 'unwinding the belly', so to speak, as so much emotional baggage is stored in this area. So a free digestion would be really helpful. Does anybody have any diet or food suggestions that are highly nutritious but easily digestible?

I don't want to look bulky. Just less lanky and gangly will do. Thanks for the food suggestions. Does anybody have any more?

Whey Protein, Oats, Fresh Fruit in a blender. Sometimes with pre-made smoothie, juices, raw cacao, guarana powder, etc., Sometimes I'll make Porridge with seeds, goji berries, etc.

Hello, I am making a note of things I consider possibly imbalanced in me, to take to the TCM practitioner in town tomorrow. Your opinions would also be interesting to read. Okay, I wonder if my Yin and my Yang are out of balance. Weak sense of masculinity. Cold extremities. Waking tired, low energy. Desire to meditate/introspect/hibernate. Sexual shame/fear. Sense of discomfort/blockage in abdomen. Weak erections, very rarely do I get 'morning wood'. Receding hairline at 22. A habit towards pleasing others over myself. Difficulties integrating and expressing anger, force, and lust. Also increasingly a couple of guys at work have been noting how 'girly' I appear lately. Especially since I reintroduced AYP mantra meditation, I get to a comfortable cool witness state and just want to stay there! Now, I'm aware these are things beyond the scope of accupuncture and herbs, and I am working on my issues, but I would be interested in hearing out whether accupuncture and chinese herbs may help me get my balance back. Chi Gung is not out of the question either - I think my system has been fried by different meditation techniques, negative sexual history (phimosis), and too many drugs. Good idea, you reckon? Also, any tips on finding a GOOD Accupuncturist? Any good questions to ask? I lack knowledge in it. Many thanks. JW

Thanks for the reply. The thing is this therapy is something I am only looking into now and may require a bit more time to get up and running. I really do think my nervous system has become more of a nervous system from all this stuff though, so I will go to the TCM place tomorrow. And consider Chi Kung. Any advice on telling a good accupuncturist/herbalist apart from a poor one? Thanks.

From a couple of months ago, I began weightlifting twice a week, and going to hatha yoga once a week. Not much cardio in there and my job is pretty sedentary. Hey Erdweir. Yeah, it is just one avenue I am looking into. The sexual issues have their root in having an incredibly tight, unretractive foreskin when young, so I would feel nothing with my previous girlfriends. I was circumcised when 18, but had performance anxiety (coupled with shame from watching a lot of pornography and for my own sexual desires - I could not integrate 'sex' and 'love'). See - its a complex issue and one probably beyond accupuncture. I am going to the only centre in Europe that deals with this in person, with a combination of transpersonal therapy, energy clearing, and sexual partner surrogacy therapy. It will be deep work. I am hoping accupuncture, herbs, and chi gung may help to rebalance my system and support this process. Good on you with the hair! Alcohol, marijuana, MDMA, 2-CI, psilocybe mushrooms, salvia divinorum. I suspect the 2-ci had most effect, iodine in that there be.. Yeah, I used to push it too hard with some meditations and would get hardcore kriyas, emotional instability, etc., Yet calming meditation simply provides a very quiet, nice place.. and its comfortable. But when I get too into that 'witness' state, my entire perception of reality turns upside-down, and I fear for my own psyche/human/social integration. I become very quiet, withdrawn, anti-social, I just zone out more and more into this trance state. I also feel a kind of existential anxiety with this. Namely "sex", and anything to do with this subject. Also feeling 'needy', 'feminine', 'poor me', 'easily intimidated', 'no spine', 'walkover'. Sexually frustrated virgin kind of situation. Felt in the sacral and solar plexus regions. I would say I am still storing negativity towards my father, also.

Hey Jenakins, You say he gets 'emotional' - does he also close down and constrict when he gets emotional, or can his consciousness be open and can he express the thoughts and feelings honestly? I get an intuition he has some kind of messed up feelings about sex that he doesn't understand himself. Low self esteem, feeling 'he is not enough', maybe. The fact he said this to you is suggestive that he not only still feels this way, but also represses this out of shame as you have asked him not to talk in this way. If that is the case perhaps he just does not feel comfortable sharing every aspect of himself with you. Just an idea. I don't know, sex is a really complicated subject. Real intimacy and trust would be the context for positive change, however. Mindgames & PUA tricks like this 'cat' shit would probably not provide a real cure. Just more manipulation and mistrust. Best Jack

Hi Jenakins, One possibility - this is not necessarily a PROBLEM. It could be his natural way. I see people recommending herbs. These may help at a certain level. But at a deeper level, it is more likely mental/emotional/spiritual blocks regarding sex. Like, fear of his own power as a man, anxiety with his performance, buried resentment at women or with you, shame for having sexual urges. He could be depressed. If it is this stuff, and you are serious about making things work with him, then you will need to provide a very safe environment for him to feel safe talking about this stuff. How emotionally intimate are you two?

A commune is one thing, institutionalisation is another!!

Hello, I am a 22 year old male. I write this in a state of complete confusion right now. I am seeking balance and clarity and relief from the stress I've been carrying. I grew up with phimosis, a condition where the foreskin does not retract. My first experiences with girls were no-shows as I could physically feel nothing. This damaged my confidence pretty bad. I came to see sex as a chore. I am still a virgin. I also got involved with pornography.. downloading lots of fallacious ideas and imagery into my mind regarding sex. Conflictingly, I was also involved with Buddhism, and misinterpreted it as a sexual 'repression'. I also had a 'negative father figure', so came to identify negatively with masculine qualities, including within myself. I became afraid of my own testosterone, so to speak. Always trying to make others happy, hiding my own perceived flaws, being unable to stand up for myself and act upon my own needs. I became obsessed with enlightenment. I would meditate three hours a day when I was seventeen, touching on the Jhanas while others were out having fun. I was however very emotionally weak. I also got involved with drinking alcohol, smoking pot, and moved onto pills, magic mushrooms, research chemicals etc., I think this has damaged me in subtle and deep ways. The things I tried were: Buddhist breath concentration techniques. More relaxed mindful awareness techniques. Loving kindness meditations. Yogic breathing exercises and mantras (from AYP and other sources) Holosync brainwave meditations (take you into DEEP delta brainwaves, I think this dislodged me somewhat..) Dynamic meditations Guided chakra meditations, autosuggestion, hypnosis (of an egotistical 'trait installing' nature), obsessive mind-based affirmation training, meditating and contemplating whilst on marijuana, salvia, psilocybin, ayahuasca. Sitting and praying to transcend energies such as anger, lust, neediness, by releasing all thought around such energy and praying for MORE, in order to sit with and eventually 'empty the cup' but really just bringing up huge, unmanageable emotional energetic excesses. Pickup 'game' material, attempting to learn mental manipulation from a position of insecurity. EFT and TAT. Replacing thoughts, ignoring thoughts, relaxing around thoughts. And deep under all this, my little inner child started to CRY, you know? I've had an obsession with 'doing' to 'fix' myself. The sexual issues accumulated early this year. I had been seeing a girl for a short time, and she was really keen to help me along and 'break me in'. However, I'd rise to the occasion only sometimes. She was really cool about it at first and thought along the lines that I was just getting used to her. However after a while and a couple more failures she started to take it hard, and eventually admitted she 'couldn't be bothered' with it anymore, despite really liking me. We broke up soon afterwards and that has triggered major inadequacy, resentment, frustration, etc., The infinite silence seems to try and pull me up and away from it all, but there is like this psychic level of pain and resistance and fear. I feel anxiety often in the throat, in the solar plexus, and deep in my gut. Thinking of sex brings up a very panicky feeling in the solar plexus. Thinking of relationships brings up a sick tension in the belly. A physiotherapist friend has told me that my muscles are 'hi tone' - they never relax, even at rest. The inner critic is constantly active as of late. It leads to waves of despair, anger, frustration, depression. The mind is constantly 'worried'. In the last month I drank ayahuasca (vine only, no 'light-bearing'/DMT containing plant) and have gone through some real catharsis, yelling, screaming.. some real painful soul searching. However it feels now that ever unconscious issue and resistance is now slightly more conscious, sitting there in the ack of my brain, distorting every perception I have. I have not had positive thoughts in a while, my emotions are shot. Cut off from my own life force, my own sexuality, my own spirit, feelings I have to be a thousand different things. This nervous system is in burnout from all these aggressive practices... SO. Somebody from another forum recommended the follow to me: Working directly on the Hara with energetic methods from the taoist tradition seems like a good idea also. ASk at thetaobums.com for help in finding the methods for you. Some sort of breathing method and a few qigong excersises should do this well. thetaobums is also a good place to ask for help regrding the sexual issues. The taoist tradition has a lot of excersises for healing that are and sexual issues in general. Genital and testicle massage (done in a loving way) and gentel methods for awakening the sexual energy centers and gentials. Do good research before choosing methods. Be conserned with safety. Don`t go for forcefull or powerfull methods. Don`T overdo, Focus on self acceptance and self loving. It might also be better for you to practice the microcosmic orbit for a while and either choose that route permanently or to use it for a while and later come beck to spinal breathing. The reason is that the front channel is important to work with for these issues and the orbit can do a lot of good here. Six healing sounds and the inner smile are also very good for dealing with all sorts of psychological issues while being energeticly beneficial. Beyond that fusion of the five elements is profoundly balancing for the emotions and will give a lot of self confidence while clearing out and resolving issues from the past(learn it from Andy Fretwel not from Mantak). A CAREFULL and MODERATE practice of iron shirt chi kung and dan tien chi kung will also build an huge amount of confidence and feeling of power and root that will adress your issues very well but these are practices that are best done on a foundation of the other ones mentioned I warn you to be extreemly carefull if you deside to aproach any of the taoist seual practices. There are huge holes in Mantaks teachings with regards to this. Thetaobums has a lot of knowledge about this. check out alchemicaltaoism.com for advice on how to aproach this and use doctor Lins not mantaks methods. Please email me if you deceide to do these things and I can communicate to you a lot of the safety protocols developed over trial and error by the webcommunity with these practices so that it can be done safely. Clearing up emotional issues first is an extreemly important part of all this. In conjunction with pilates practice so that my body and energy center is rooted in the Hara. Basically I am seekng advice on how I might start anew. I am seeking therapy etc., already. I am just after practice advice to that might help to ground and balance this burnout, free up this abdominal tightness and sexual frustration, calm the mind, release all the negative material I've bought up.. I would like to feel at ease again.. Any help?? Easynow..

Okay, I went to that centre at the weekend. The founder of the centre would make a good Taobum, swear. He is totally keyed in on consciousness, inner silence, meditation, energy centres, etc., It looks like an amazing setup. Sexual healing through soul-level intimacy. Kind of terrifying, but what an opportunity!! On another note, I've been feeling a lot of anger towards my ex the last couple of days. Just realising how 'duped' I got during the relationship without realising, starting to see her in a different light and having a lot of rage come up. Also she told me about a few guys she'd started sleeping with again since we broke up, which majorly put me into shame, depression, inadequacy.. which has now worked its way up to ANGER at her. Also ENVY as a part of me that I repress would also like to be having lots of enjoyable sex but.. THIS BLOCK. Urgh, its infuriating really. But at least I am getting onto a path to recovery. Any good exercises for balancing -sexual frustration-? Or do I just have to accept that lust as part of me, instead of being afraid of it? It feels like I'd turn into a perverted monster if I surrendered to it.

Good thing I eat porridge with Manuka Honey and cinnamon nearly every day.

Hey Eric, I am going to see a professional sexual therapy/surrogacy organisation on Sat 25th about a resolution to the anxiety and other inssues. Road to recovery. Thanks, Trunk. Will do this. I am feeling on the whole better than when I posted this.. I believe the Chi in Nature poem has bought in a degree of energy that has helped keep me on an even keel. I've still some things to work on, but optimism is increasing. Easy now. OH yeah... Big Thanks to the 'bums for looking out for me. I will be posting more in my personal practice forum sometime soon. Keep an eye out, keep visiting! http://www.thetaobums.com/Easynow-f107.html Jack

Salaam, I messed around with too many energy techniques too and neglected my emotions and my life. I felt borderline psychotic, and actually fell into a depression for some time. I'm recovering now, putting pieces together. Its important to realise that the things you FEAR are actually quite absurd, ridiculousness. You are constricting around fear. Relax. If you are in need of support, the world will accomodate. But you must ask for help. Counselling is easy enough to get ahold of, just go to your doctor if you don't know where to start. The energy work won't help this one. You'll be okay. Just get the help you need. The day I told my family I was undergoing a depressive break was a very liberating day. It 'burst the dam' and allowed me to start making positive changes.

I thought it was to allow freeflow expression of stuck/unexpressed energies, that then left the space to settle in stillness. Oh well, just a bunch of gibberish anyway.

Drinking jungle juice or something, Taomeow? I like Adyashanti's teaching style, very direct. Gets to the root of things quickly.

Gingko Biloba is good for circulation and brainpower. Fish Oil high in EDA is really good for brainfog.

Thanks for all your posts. The support is really appreciated. Went to see a counsellor today for the first time. Its interesting. To be honest he seemed a little disinterested?? Perhaps I am expecting a counsellor to mother/father me, when really they are serving a perfect role as a mirror to face ourselves with. I will go again and see how things progress. I'm considering seeing a sexual therapist/surrogate to get 'sexually comfortable'. I don't see a relationship working unless the girl is a saint (and the idea of another breakup over this would be devastating), and one night stands are out of the question as I need trust and comfort. So.. sexual surrogacy, then off to a hooker??? Maybe THEN I can start dating???

You can also look up Neuro-programmer 2..

Ugh. I think I am over a porn addiction, and then before I know it.. Today's emotion is shame. Sexual compulsiveness and shame. I feel like I lack the basic energy to even exercise self-discipline, like I am content to just be a victim and the emotional pressure is too strong to fight against.

Hi, I was involved with iG for over a year, including up to very recently. I've actually had two lengthy phone consultations with Stephane that have been included in the newest series of products. It's interesting to read what Sean has written of him, and knowing that they lived closely for a while, its very revealing to me. I would sum my experience up as: I never needed iG - I needed a therapist. I needed to deal with my real life issues, masculinity issues, sexuality issues. I could never quite 'get it' alone using chakra meditations, affirmations, etc., I'd dare say I damaged myself by taking on so many practices and beliefs, instead of really working with my issues. Now, those phone consultations were filled with gold, at a certain level. There was some brilliant advice in there alongside some advice that was actually fairly damaging to my mental health and my relationship when I attempted to practice it. He encouraged me to 'give away all my power, as it is God's anyway' - so with my girlfriend, I became a doormat as I believed it was some kind of Karma Yoga, going along with everything she said etc., What I didn't realise at the time was that I was running the unconscious script of "If I hide my flaws, and am nice, I will be loved, get all my needs met, and live a problem free life". That is a deep-seated one I need to transcend before I could consider Stephane's approach. So I've lost a girlfriend out of this. It's not Stephane's fault. He gave some brilliant advice also. It's my own responsibility. Still, the practice he suggests for transcending issues is hardcore. For me, I went into severe overwhelm with it, turned into a wreck infact. His material might work for some people, but its not for me, not now. And concerning 'drug epiphanies' - now this is really interesting. As I went through a similar thing of getting fucked up and contemplating 'truth', its interesting at an unconscious level how I attracted a similar person to my life. How can I remove iG programming from my brain?

"Unwinding the Belly" arrived today. I will work with the belly breathing daily until I am comfortable in that, then explore the first touching exercises. However, I must avoid becoming obsessed with techniques or putting too much hope in them. It is what I did for the last several years. I must deal with my 'issues' head-on. Still, looking forward to the positive effects of breathing correctly.