maytagman

It's an interesting time. I feel the world is a bit out of balance; war without peace, hate without love, ignorance without enlightenment. These are all problems which require more thought than I am currently capable of devoting. Corruption runs unchecked, entire nations live in oblivion. In one way I suppose this has always been the status quo, but in another I know we are capable of so much more. Realizing the futility of trying to change the world is a sobering experience. What remains when you abandon the world? Only oneself. And in this realization I find another world of imbalance. Vanity without true health, material wealth without substance, work without lesure: a chaotic existance. A fickle pursuit of money, meaningless attraction, trivial sexual escapades, cars, alchohol, and prestige; expensive hotels, insincere politeness from those around you, artificial friends, beatiful girls who are genuinely disinterested or useless. Wasted potential and wasted time. But is it really? Does it make you less of a mystic or less of a sage if you drive a BMW? Wouldnt a true mystic drive nothing at all? Maybe so, but is this man truly a sage or an enlightened individual, or is he merely living up to the stereotype which we have created for a wandering monk? It is a series of questions... What is the balance to a life of excess? Charity? Raising children? So many questions. What does a monk do with wealth? Give it away? I find myself surrounded by things that denote success. But I feel no satisfaction in it. It is merely the fruits of years of compromising what is important to me. My free spirit is subdued for the sake of profit, for alas my sense of necessity is keen on the fact that wealth is a necessary evil. Still, there has to be something more. One could say the classic life of the clergyman or seeker is dead. No longer is it possible simply to leave behind your belongings and wander for years. Nobody will take you into your home and give you sanctuary for a night of your journey, you can no longer simply bed down when your feet are tired, or when you come upon somewhere you identify with. The passages in Basho's work today seem fiction, though just a few hundred years ago it was a perfectly acceptable and even admirable life. Now there are taxes, insurance, bills for everything even if you own nothing, superhighways, hotels, and the mindset that a wandering man in shabby clothes is a vagrant rather than a poet or wiseman. The few places on earth that offer the sanctuary of a monastery are across the world, where I do not speak the language nor could I ever hope to integrate wholly. I would be just another westerner and judged as such. Rightfully so, for there have surely been many an insincere round-eye who's gone this route. What is a modern monk? Such a concept is laughable to most, and disgraceful to the rest. What would my family think if I simply quit my jobs, sold my cars and said I'm becoming what is essentially a bum? Could I be happy with no money, no respect, and no future? Would it be a passing phase where after a few years I would be fed up? I'd be left behind by my industry and essentially useless. It makes a man think what is important to a man. What our society values is not what I value, but I still feel compelled to live up to the American dream. So, where does it leave me... I'm not even sure anymore. Life is nothing more than balance, can I strike a balance between conventional success and unconventional prosperity? This is the current iteration of my adventure, and I will start sharing it here. Let's chat some time.

True, this is a place of energy, although I'm not sure it's the right kind! It is certainly a good place to practice restraint and clarity in the face of chaos. The fact that I'm here is a testament to my compromising nature. I detest war of all kinds, this one being the most despicable. Yet, I'm here because the pay is good. Nonetheless I thought long and hard yesterday. Although I am at work and moving from here to there, my mind is elsewhere. I thought to myself, 'It's true that I don't speak an eastern language well enough, but what honestly needs to be said?' Some of the most renowned thinkers rarely spoke at all, and many monks refrained completely in the ancient cloisters of my old country. Silence affords one the opportunity to speak only when their thoughts are the most profound. I suppose it's a verbal aging process that goes on in the mind. So, I suppose if it were really my inclination, I could fall into favor with some of the mountain temples I've visited in Japan. I made another observation last night as well. Although roaming about on land is out of style, there's one place where it's still acceptable, the sea. For some reason, society views a man who leads a spartan life at sea as a mariner, rather than a vagrant. Maybe it's the skill that's required to sail, or maybe it's just the romance of being out on the water braving the storms. I've always enjoyed sailing and seamanship, maybe exploring out on my own or with some devotees is a suitable path. And this is one field where modern technology has been an enhancement rather than a detractor. There's never been a safer time to lead a life at sea. After the initial investment of a fine ship, there's little to buy but provisions and repairs. One could live for years on peanuts this way. Certainly is thought provoking! I have a renewed hope in this, thanks to some thoughts of mine and some thoughts of yours. I suppose we'll see how it works out, but in the mean time, back to work. It certainly helps me to chat about it with some like-minded folk. Collective meditation and all that.

Most of my journies have been accompanied by pink floyd or hybrid, both of which have a penchant for epic stacking of complex rythms and pad sounds. Gigantic synths and string overtures always seem to stir up all sorts of out-of-body works for me with ample concentration and/or enhancements. That said, the epic classical like Kyrie (mozart's) and the third movements of beethoven have similar effect. As far as relaxation and less profound but equally stimulating sessions I enjoy elliot smith. I would suggest you sample his album XO if you enjoy quiet yet sometimes massive acoustic guitar work and listless floating vocals. Tragic story reading about him as well, but in the end I believe he accomplished what he came here to do. One listen to 'Sweet Adeline' or 'Tomorrow Tomorrow' and I fancy you'll agree. I would love to enjoy more eastern music, japanese koto and the like. The soundtrack to hero et al, including the chess room music are exemplary, I just dont know what artists deal in that sort of sound or where to find them. Kind regards,