Deepbluesea

As a rule of thumb, statistics show that we vote the same way as our parents and follow the same religion. That is only a rule of thumb. I grew up in a Christian household and ended up resenting the guilt of the idea of someone being nailed to a cross on my behalf. I think that there are many great teachings of Christianity but they get lost in guilt and organization. I ended up being pretty agnostic but I like the looseness of Taoism and Zen. They are more religions of nature than of man to me.

Hope and faith, throw in heaping serving of guilt and the threat of a horrible afterlife are what most religions are all about. That's what is supposed to keep people walking down the straight and narrow. The common quote is of course "Religion is the opiate of the masses" a less common one that I have never been able to attribute but the ex-great Washington Redskin linebacker Sam Huff says all the time "Live in hope, die in despair" I have a hard time with the mastermind idea. I can see civilization as more of a tragic image: That which makes it possible and successful is the same that destroys it.

Taomeow, Are you saying that there is (are) mastermind(s) behind this regression or is it simply the curse of civilization/society? Is a hand purposefully guiding us into slavery or is it just society walking down an unfortunate road of which no one has a map or a distinct leader to follow?

If pot were legalized all sorts of health practitioners would begin recommending its use in the short term, but then its use would fade I think. I've had my share, and while enjoyable, I think its claims as a panacea are a little ridiculous. I'm not saying it couldn't be used for healing -- physical and spiritual, but I think there are better methods out there. To me its always seemed more recreational. Its possible more states will decriminalize it and the Fed. govt won't enforce federal policy as aggressively, but I wouldn't bet on an actual change in federal policy under Obama. Its not a political winner with too many moderates. There is an ex police chief that is lobbying Congress for legalization of EVERYTHING. He says that the more dangerous it is, the more reason for it to be legalized. I am not emabarrassed about my previous use of drugs. I credit some of the stronger stuff with spritual growth. But I do really believe that long term use isn't all that healthy, and for kids its effects can be devastating to development.

Man ... I really feel for you. I'm dealing with the same thing, only its anger. I just figured it out yesterday, so I'm really interested in some ideas. I don't think that I can just "wait it out" a) that's not me I don't think that will work. But it is exactly as you say ... the attachment to it is the sickness, its like an addiction, you know its a problem but there is a part of you that enjoys it and won't let you stop.

Definately beware of the nihilists, they will piss on your rug and cut off your johnson.

Wow ... just wow. It sounds really good on its face. But I am easily impressed until someone smarter than me can make the rebuttal. Not having read him, and I intend to, I am assuming he teaches specific techniques like someone mentioned earlier to "imitate yang." Wouldn't an equal if not better course be to encourage yang growth and then the rest would fall into place. It sounds like he is teaching men to "imitate yang" and after acting the part for a while it will become real (but is it ever real or is it just a persona?) instead of true yang cultivation where everything with the yin partner is then balanced. It also sounds like he is rather exteme ... either you give up women and the world or you make women and the world yours. Is there no moderation between the two. Great stuff! Thanks

And if you were out late on 5/5 doing tequila shots until 4 am what does that do to your REM and delta level IV? Not saying that you were but some of us were ... Any hints on "powernaps". I think I have found that a half hour of meditation on emptiness is better than an actual nap. I have sometimes wondered about staying up for long periods with meditation instead of sleep.

haha, If I was bragging I would have said that she is begging for it 24/7. Unfortunately (be careful what you wish for) that is not the case. I was trying to show that many women would probably be happy not to have their men always bugging them about sex. My wife says she would be when she is tired, but she and I really know better (maybe a little brag). Society has really screwed us all with the marketing of sex. Its just like cars, houses, and iphones, we want to make sure that we have AT LEAST as much as everyone else, instead of just enough ... we want the large chocolate shake instead of the small and if we don't have what everyone else claims to have, it is a problem we need a pill or do this or ... what were we talking about again... It sounds like to me after several pages of posts you are probably getting a handle this and I love this site because of the incredible advice and insight you have gotten (I've learned a lot too). You obviously have a huge heart: you take clothes to the ex in jail, you help the kid out trying to travel, you try and "fix" (bad term, sorry) the guy you are with now. Its great to have a huge heart and to help, but are you calling these people and situations to you? Does Jen ever get a chance to do what Jen wants? Or is the entirety of the energy of Jen trying to fix other people's problems? I can't find "The Prophet" by Gibran right now (really pisses me off when I can't find something). But he has a quote that has always stuck in my mind about love and since I can't find it I hope I can get a paraphrase close -- No I'm not even going to try, I can't do it justice. Helping others and loving all is fantastic but I THINK (just my two cents) that you have to strike a balance ... you have to take care of yourself too.

"honestly, since this is the only area in our relationship that isn't quiet right, i could live with not having sex but 6-7 times a year." Haha, I told my wife about your situation. When I told her about the 6-7 times per year her eyes really lit up ... she would like to meet your guy. Maybe you are not in as bad of a predicament as you thought ... Damn, I'm kind of embarrassed, but she's pretty tired tonight.

I have a 16-year old dog that is in awesome shape other than she is nearly blind from cataracts. Seriously, we just had bloodwork done on her and she is in great shape. She loves to run, until she runs into something. We spent $250 on a 20 minute eye exam to find out what we expected was right but that surgery would run around $2k an eye. I was originally thinking about a FU, but maybe someone knows of other possible cures AND prevention. It also begs some questions about FUs in general (I only heard about them weeks ago from this site). Could you use it on something that doesn't know it is being treated? Could you use one effectively on someone in a coma? Could you use one on someone sleeping? (Like do you have one to create nymphomania that I could use on my wife while she is sleeping? Haha, just kidding, don't need any help there)

Thanks a lot for the ideas. I ordered the bright eyes, and have been using the flaxseed oil. I haven't tried the powdered sugar yet (I've been too lazy to pulverize the sugar) , what does that do? I am really surprised about the flaxseed oil, in just two days she is navigating better. I hope it doesn't contraindicate the bright eyes.

Haha. No intimidation here, I'm not sure why a guy would be. I think that it is just the opposite.

There is never any good reason to use drugs. They do NOT expand the mind, nor do they lead to enlightenment....It is a sad joke to think drugs can acomplish what meditation can. It is all a lie and a deception. There is no "quick fix", magic bullet or pill. As I responded previously, I didn't know a "door" existed until I used psychotropics. I would agree wholeheartedly that my experience did not lead to "enlightenment" -- a term which is really absent of definition to me at this point. I obviously don't know where I would be at this point in my life if I had not had SEVERAL extremely spiritual experiences under the influence. But I highly doubt I would have pursued the course of my journey that have placed where I am now. Its great to hear though that some out there have determined definitivley (in caps) that their way is the only way to enlightenment and the Tao. Perhaps you can write part two of the Tao Te Ching with all of your presumption. I'm just saying that I got a little help getting to where I am, I am happy that I am where I am, I am just walking down a road that my collective experiences have demonstrated to me to a road worth walking down, and those collective experiences included the use of pychotropics. Like I said, I'm glad to hear that you have a complete understanding of the Tao.

Yeah, and if the man or the woman is not "ready to go" at a heartbeats notice then it is "disfunction". We place an incredible amount of stress upon ourselves to emulate what we PERCEIVE to be "normal". I suppose it is for marketing reasons that we are particularly stressed about sex. What if instead we, as humans in this century, were consumed with growing the most kickass pea or being the best neighbor? Don't get me wrong, I love sex. But it sucks that we place expectations upon ourselves that are unrealistic.

I think joeblast is right. You are the herb. I know a kid ... only 21 that was complaining about his sexual deficiencies, I was shocked, until I thought about his situation. His diet mostly consists of cheese curls and mountain dew, he gets no physical exercise other than his fingers hitting the keys of keyboard. He didn't need herbs, he needed to change his habits. If you don't address those first, you have no foundation on which to build. In the vein of VcraigP, (respectfully) are you offering or are you waiting for it to happen. If I fall into a lull and am unhappy with it, I buy flowers and write love letters, buy some lingerie (this is all for my wife of course) and without fail it has done the trick. Does he "perform" alright? Is there a reason he doesn't want it because he is embarrassed? Does he trust you (if other girlfriends are talking about his lack of libido that could definately be an issue)? Maybe he just has other interests ... I can't imagine that at 27 he would but humans are diverse and sometimes we forget that. You said you tried to talk to him about it and he got angry, what is your plan here ... "Take this root, it'll really get you hot." You don't think that will elicit the same response? More and more joeblast hit it on the head. You are the herb ... just like in Caddyshack "be the ball Danny". Be the herb.

... or maybe at least show some that there is a door. I don't think at the time I knew there was a door and I didn't know how "big" (for lack of a better term) things were. But I also know a lot of people that used plenty and it was just for fun for them, I don't think that they got much of a spiritual benifit out of it. I think that it takes years of mind, body and spiritual work to go further ... disciplined commitment, not a couple slivers of paper and ten hours.

To each his own, in my opinion there is no way someone could tell me that I didn't have the most incredible spiritual events of my life under the influence. Is it sad? Maybe so. But there are plenty of cultures backing up the spiritual nature of psychotropics: Native Americans throughout the Americas used a variety as a spiritual pilar. I am at another point in my life though. And my experience is that psychotropics can get you to the door, maybe even give you a peek through the keyhole, but to get through the door you really need something else. And that is why I am here, to read about the things others are trying to do to get through the door (or not trying, or not even thinking about trying, or just being empty, or just being full ...).

I think we forget that disfunction of all types is so normal. We find out that we are not average and get all spooked about it making our lack of "normalcy" worse. In the end, if we were not disfunctional in some way, we wouldn't be normal. Don't we all say, "I don't want to be average", but most of us strive at least subconsciously toward the middle of that bell curve.

What is his diet like? I know that I feel A LOT better when I eat very little meat (wife is vegetarian so there is not much around anyways) and mega vegetables. Fruit is good, but eating broccoli, cauliflower, spinach and other greens, keeps me happy. When I am at my best the only meat I'll eat is raw tuna. I also take a multivitamin every day. If I lose my discipline and stop for a double angry whopper combo meal, it can effect me for days. Does he exercise? He really should be doing a half an hour of anything that gets his heart moving a day, throw in some weights here and there if you can. If on top of that you can get him started in yoga, chi gung, tai chi: anything to focus on something other than all the usual daily crap. A hike in the woods also does wonders. If his last three girlfriends complained to his friend about it, I bet he is dragging around a lot of weight from it. Our society places so much emphasis on male performance, he obviously knows that he is outside of the average. Did this have anything to do with why he is no longer with these girls? I knew a couple that got married and only had sex once in the first year ... the marriage didn't make it to the second year. I am sure there are all kinds of herbs and stuff he could take but I would start with diet, exercise, and calming the mind ... which it sounds like you are really interested in already.

Yeah, a FU seems a little hokey to me too. But I will say this, the precept of my "religion" is that life and energy are a fantastic mystery. That mystery is meant to be enjoyed as simply a mystery. Once you become closed-minded and outwardly mock others because you have all the answers to an unanswerable mystery, you are not bettering yourself. I have only been on this site a short time but I have read numerous reports of FUs working. Mak Tin Si demonstrates a lot of knowledge over and over again. Samaurijack, maybe you do have all of the answers, I am not one to say ... but I find it kind of odd that you are on this site if you actually do.

Congratulations on your feelings of being balanced. I'm guessing here, but it sounds like you may have been hurt by this guy and your feelings for him sound sincere. The fact that you feel sorry for him particularly though would raise concerns with anyone that has dealt with women that have been used/abused. You have to know that you are presenting a pattern that has not been healthy for many other women. I agree with Wayfarer in that leaving him alone right now may be a healthier route to go. No one is better suited to progressing through this than you. No counselor, or online buddy, or chatroom knows your situation and you better than yourself. Use your meditation and breathing techniques to be honest with yourself ... know that you have come a long way, but also know that your situation would be considered dangerous by many. My thoughts are with you, good luck.

I can't believe you are just walking away from this. I am so dissappointed. If you know all about karma then you know its not about what your friend wants. Its about your responsibility of freeing the odd creature ... not to mention to me. I really wanted to hear how you extricated this thing. Of course this is not the end of the story, but only the beginning ... Your friend will be cursed to seven years of stepping in dog piles. I wish her luck in dealing with that.

Mak Tin Si, did you go to Yoda's house before he began his FU cleansing to access the power of the ghosts or demons? Why would you recommend essentially a do-it-yourself FU cleansing in that situation but not in this specific situation? By the way, I am very impressed with your accomplishment at Yoda's house!