.broken.

I remember when I was very young and I thought about what I wanted from life, there where two answers. One was very much driven by ego - the desire to have a beautiful wife and a family. The second? a life of solitude. There is an external pressure on me at this age (22) for me to be sowing my seed. My intellect and heart, however, both yearn for spiritual 'growth'. "The five barriers to attaining Tao include fortune, wealth, name (fame), sleep and sex. People all say they want to become free of these factors, but then they start to lose a single one they become frightened and lose their sense of composure" ... to quote Bill Brodi. I'm certainly losing my sense of composure :/ Drew, I was wondering what your thoughts were on celibacy and advancement along a spiritual path?

i've read every post. i've enjoyed every post. i shall continue to read every post. although drew's intellectual meanderings are challenging and at times difficult to follow, his level of speculation and insight remains a step above that considered the norm in this forum.

Drew, i love your posts. You seem to have much knowledge of different mental states. I'd like to let you know that I have come to some of the same conclusions that you have during a week long manic episode. All the best, .broken.

Couldn't agree more. A fast pace of thinking/reflection/intuition, similar to Cameron's, led me to have a "manic episode" (caused by ingestion of LSA)... On the other hand, i would not give the experience up for the world - it was the most spiritual and profound experience ever.

I feel compelled to inform you all that i regularly meet some of you in my dreams - either by indirect reference or a face-to-face meeting. This question goes out to people who have not yet met each other in person: do you, too, dream of fellow tao bums? If so, in what context? In my own experience, we are generally all in the same boat - that of seeking. Self seeking self. Some of us are way off the scent (to use a turn of phrase) and others are skirting the boundaries between our human conditioning and self-realisation. My last question is as to whether any other tao bums 'receive' premonitions of the future whilst they sleep; i have done for as long as i remember... do you? How often?

Certainly different, that's for sure. I have been wondering about the whole neck thing since an ecstacy i went through gave me many visions. Drew, could you please provide us a picture of someone in the correct posture? Or perhaps some instruction as how to go about doing it.

i remember reading somewhere that when the mind silences enough, and awareness learns to leave the constraints of the body, the body will itch incessantly. bodily sensations, as such, are always secondary to the actual spiritual growth that one can encounter and are not to be scolded or ignored.... but acknowledged just as the rising of thoughts. in time, i am sure that it will settle. persistence is key

my ego fears not enlightenment. it fears losing everything that is dear to it, all that it knows and loves. "your time will come" i was told. "all is good". i smiled. "drop everything" i was told. ego panicked. indra, xeno... if you can guide me past this and to the hands of which i caught a glimpse of, then i shall join you and eventually see the tao.

his happiness is his death and his love. true selflessness that we can all adore.

indeed, a movie one i particularly enjoyed when i first saw it. the viewpoint of two polarities, in the film, is seen as too simplistic by the main character... and the way it is presented in the film is certainly done in a particularly evangelistical manner. note that i used the example to explain a concept. my 'problem' (for want of a better word) with hope is that it encourages attachment to things that aren't as the individual wishes they should be. a sense of longing can be created. i believe that the dzogchen teachings inspire hope in a differing manner - by creating the notion that you can create your own reality, by this i mean ease your current anxieties/worries (which are essentially created by fear). the elimination of fear is therefore, in my view, the ultimate aim of dzogchen teaching - the ultimate fear of course being the fear of being yourself... returning to true nature... enlightenment etc..

if i remember rightly red blood cells do not last very long (a matter of days) within the body and the bone marrow is constantly in the process of producing more. my experience of blood donation was that it seemed to drain much chi away - and it took a few weeks to get up to a pleasant standard of all over body tingling that i'm now so used to. my experiences, however, remain mine - yours may be in favour of blood donation for your cultivation practices.

Pero, i'm afraid my knowledge of dzogchen is very small - though they are the first school of thought that i have come across that essentially strip most, though my understanding is all, negative and prohibiting thoughts down to fear. it's as if fear is the foundation of all limited thinking. perhaps similar to the donnie darko view of fear and hope... two polar extremes out of which all behaviour stems.

I remember little from my last existence, other than a sincere loneliness and heartfelt sorrow for those who had gone before me (friends, family etc.). i felt grey and lifeless towards the end - i wanted to dissolve. when the time did come i was surrounded by love, i tried to keep my awareness, but it drifted in what seemed a quick period of time. I also recall coming close to the "source" ... what i could best describe as pure, non-judgemental love. I was almost reunited when a deep sorrow pulled me back. i accepted that i was to become once again. everything that happened was without form and seemingly outwith time. now here i am. i dream my deja vus days or weeks before they happen. (i am shown what is to come in both third and first person). i could sense a guide next to me during my youth - with the same love as aforementioned. i have lived through hell on earth (i will post about it sometime... when i am ready to transmit it). i am here to teach, but on no grand scale. i have done it before and i will do it again. death? what to expect? hehe. that's part of the eternal question that is behind all human thought - who am i? or somethimes, why am i here? "ooh, look! i don't know why i am here, so what happens to those who die around me? they were here... and now they're not." many realised folk have given their teachings, but please remember that everything has relevance (time/place). i would say that you should treat it as all things in existence - have no expectations. (Mai, there is much literature/philosophy/religious speculation on death. you are the best person to know what would suit her temperament. Christopher Hansard writes about the fear of death in his book The Tibetan Art of Serenity... if i remember rightly he gives meditations to overcome the fear too... he also writes about how to comfort dying people in the end of his Tibetan Art of Living. These are books i would personally recommend).

apprehension implies an uncertainty that can apply to both good and bad situations. it is usually linked to being nervous about an upcoming event. fear, certainly in the Dzogchen view point, will be involved - but it is by far a less strong an emotion than fear (as described below) itself. fear, as it is commonly used, is more about being afraid of something - the implication being that it is something that it can harm you (emotionally as well as physically). i also see it as something that you've learnt to be afraid of from previous experiences. for example, you may fear your boss because of previous unpleasant encounters, or you may fear heights because of a negative experience as a child (or you heard of someone else's negative experience and this in turn makes you apprehensive/nervous... or it can indeed make you fearful if this was someone whom you trusted implicitly). a brief summary may best place apprehension as something you are unsure of, whereas fear is something which certainly brings up a strong emotion of not wanting to do whatever it is. anyone out there which a differing viewpoint?

discussion of these material concepts are of no consequence, shadows are part of what your physical eyes see. recognise the illusions. Shiva dances. i am. we are. awaken, reflections of light. so simple.

let the wind carry through your skin and you will understand. breathe one breath.

neimad - well written dude! enjoyable, and something that i too can relate to. I think you'd be very interested in the book by Christopher Hansard - The Tibetan Art of Serenity. It gives meditations with the sole purpose of dissolving fear. They've worked wonders for me... He describes the choice you highlighted into unskillful and skillful thinking, this is gone into more depth in another of his - Tibetan Art of Positive Thinking. He gives you the tools to tackle all your perceived fears and patterns of habitual thinking. As you progress you notice an increase in energy as blockages are removed. Thus it improves traditional Taoist cultivation methods such as Qigong. My progress has been constant since discovering these books... enjoy

speaking from personal experience it is my belief that mastery of the body is one of the paths to mastery of the consciousness. for those of you who are familiar with the bodily sensations of chi i recommend investigating the sensations in the upper tan tien when certain thoughts arrive. with time your emotional mind is silenced because you learn to feel the onset of your emotions. (for those of you interested in knowing how to feel thoughts i recommend researching the bon tradition of dzogchen). one step closer to wu wei. responsiveness; effortlessness; unobtrusiveness. such is the tao. i understand where you are coming from Fatherpaul as 'he who nourishes the soul forgets the body' but you must understand that there are many paths to the tao. the tao is not discriminatory towards those who cultivate spiritually in one way or another. it is the correct intention that helps us onto the path. what is the correct intention? that's the secret. quantumly speaking, information is energy. 'ignoring knowledge is sickness'. know this.

I have no idea of knowing how you came to this conclusion. Mind if I ask some questions? Surely you are aware of the Mind, Body and Soul/Spirit model. If my mind is emotionally troubled, this can make it's manifestation as a bodily symptom (e.g. stress and hunched shoulders). If I then attend a healing arts practitioner who manipulated my body with the aim of healing the bodily manifestation, and it cures my emotional state, surely I have been healed by another? Or do you believe that my consciousness manifested the practitioner and his/her abilities? I would very much like clarification. Cheers

i am impressed with the dedication you lot have to go on this diet. it is something i have considered, but have never been able to manifest. wayfarer64, i am extermely curious as to why you drink copious quantities of coffee. is it part of this diet or is it something that you always do?

Already looking forward to reading your paper GrandTrinity. I have a friend who is very into his nutrition - I'll ask him if there are any books he recommends!

tonight is going to be a night of meditation and energy work for me. i hope you too shall take advantage of the full moon's qi

i already practice moving meditation (chen style tai chi) and standing meditations. i would really like to add seated meditations to my cultivation portfolio. i've read a fair bit around the subject, and i have come to the conclusion (though it is perhaps not the correct one, it's what my intuitions point me toward) that i will start off by filling my lower dan tien. with the plan being to progress to the microcosmic orbit etc. 1. does anyone disagree with my approach, and if so why? (i expect there to be a fair few of you ) 2. can anyone recommend reading material (highly recommended audio resources will also be considered) on the subject of mediations intended for filling ones lower dan tien? i eagerly await your replies

Karel still teaches and practices Yiquan. His current teachers are: Du Xianming (student of Chen Zhaokui, 18th generation of Chen style) Chen Xiaowang (19th generation of Chen style) Yao Chengguang (3rd generation of Yiquan) I haven't heard of Wang Hai Jun... will google his name Indeed Shi Li and Mo Ca Bu are not tai chi training. Usually, on the Saturday morning of the seminars we'll work some yiquan training in with the usual qigong and silk reeling. Yiquan is extremely beneficial when it comes to building internal/core strength.

this is where i found it. i was busy searching for Taoist meditation classes in edinburgh, but to no avail. there is still a slight tingling now, a day later.