johndoe2012

I would say the next step is not to practise at all. "just be patient, let it happen". Exactly. The struggle or problem that practise would clear will show up in real life once you least expects it. This is a gift from the Divine showing you that you are stuck in identification and once it is recognized then there is no struggle anymore.

Indeed, you can rush things but it will just make things worse. I don't have a fixed daily practise anymore because it basically doesn't make sense. Once we get totally relaxed we basically don't care about such things because that is going against the flow and causes tension.

The question is who is really there other than a chain of thoughts, sensations and so on compounded to a person? So no right, no wrong, life happens spontaneously with no controllers at all. Highest example is a conceptual designation of activity marked by the mind as 'good'.

Josama, How are you feeling about the demon and the root cause now? I did some work on you, don't worry I asked the Divine about permission. The technique I use can go to depths of ego as well as it works with Divine consciousness not just energy. So ego has also got awakened a bit more I can feel.

gTummo - the loneman pai version works really nice in clearing blockages from the central channel. Better than some of the other techniques I have tried.

I got this idea from someone, didn't invent it myself. The idea is a master / guru / teacher has a certain vibration. Each individual has a distinct flavor, one you can use to work in that particular "direction". It could be stillness or movement, just two examples. From youtube you can extract the audio from the videos of masters speaking or just being silent. This audio you play all the time on silent on e.g. your phone. You don't need to listen to it or be aware of it or anything. I tried today using a darshan blessing from an individual with stillness in their heart. Very powerful stuff. Being with them physically or speaking live is better but the audio I find is the next best thing.

I had an experience lately where all tension in the body disappeared and a complete freedom and access to my real "self" appeared. I feel that the source of tension comes from the grip of the ego-personality. For a long time I couldn't understand why the hell I experienced so much tension no matter what I did. Only when the grip of the personality was suspended could I understand why high level teachings / methods / lineages are necessary. The ego-personality is basically a blocking mechanism. It cares for survival: getting money, food, clothing, a place to sleep and so on. That blocking mechanism results in bodily tension. Bodily tension that translates into negative behavior. The problem is that the ego-personality will do anything to stop you from waking up. It will lure you into "let's meditate for 40 years, that at least will keep me living on, ha ha!" For me only high level methods or teachings can undo that grip. If one stays at the level of the ego-personality one will stay there forever. There is no freedom as long as one stays at the lower personality level. Breathing methods, meditation, philosophy: they are a replication of the real thing - something the ego-personality has invented as practices or things it can study and understand - which it never can because the real thing exist beyond it. Anyway, I long for my own personality-death these days: I never wanted to be uptight, unfriendly and tense all the time. I want freedom today, not in 40 years! Hurray for all the high level teachings that exist today!

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Indeed! Don't I know this feeling of self-doubt.

This is indeed it! Very nice put.

The ego grip can be illustrated as a sponge being squeezed by a hand. When the hand lets go you can feel all the tension you have been carrying around. (you are the sponge) So a high level "method" can undo that grip by as little force as possible because high level means high understanding of the issue causing the grip in this case. Low level is like taking a hammer and banging on the grip but that doesn't work. So low level = low understanding = forceful, like when politicians are forcing us to obey the law! :-)

Yes, that's pretty difficult, I agree.

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Then you try teaching A, it doesn't work then try teaching B or invent your own methods. Never giving up.

Saying I can stick to things is a prediction, nobody can predict the future. What to expect: I have no idea. But at least be more relaxed.

without advertising or getting specific, lineages or teachers that claim "this is not just for health but for awakening to your true self".

From Awakening to the Tao, p. 87: My own experience: the silence energy-exercises try to induce by clearing blockages is already there "beneath" it all. The buzz from exercises is not actually what one is looking for. The buzz is merely an electrical sensation which can also be induced by plugging yourself into a set of batteries. The sensation covers up the silence. Silence is not necessarily better reached by meditation. Meditation for me equals suppression. Life told me early on this was not for me so I basically couldn't meditate which was actually a GOOD thing. If life tells you this better listen to yourself and stop hating yourself for having mediocre concentration skills!

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Yes, that's my understanding.