King Kabalabhati

Weeell, one reason I don't like to drink coffee through the day is that it makes me more agitable towards children. I try not to drink it to stay alert/awake, rather for the sheer pleasure of it. Oh there's one ecxeption, and that's late night driving. If your not too used to coffee then it really clears the sleepiness on a nocturnal ride through the dark.

One important thing in coffee is its bitterness. You might lack the bitter taste if you crave for the taste of coffee a lot. There's not much bitter in the ordinary Western diet. So try Corilla (bitter melon plant) tea or some other bitter tea, at first they may taste a bit heavy but once you get enough bitter taste in your body it may start to taste sweeter and you may start to get into it, that's my experience with corilla tea. Chocolate I find even more difficult to handle than coffee. I used to eat a lot of chocolate and it upset my balance badly. According to Ayurveda it disturbs all the elements and causes hyperactivity and congestion. So I dropped my consumption down to 1% of what it used to be. I have been more balanced since. Especially the thing it does to libido is tricky, it can make you crave more sex but if you don't get it (or even if you do) it can badly depress you.

I quit coffee for months with no problems but then I found it most fun and challenging to give myself the pleasure of coffee but to cut down on the amounts. 1/2 - 1 cup per day maximum, with cardamom to reduce the adrenalin stress (ayurvedic info). I try to keep a couple of coffee-free days a week. The way I see it it can be ok to keep in strict moderation, this way you may even benefit from it. I hardly ever drink it in the morning, though, feels a bit too aggressive. Since I drink modest amounts I can always afford the best organic quality arabica.. I think this could be the Taoist "middle way" If you really want to quit, you could have a spoonful or two of coffee with warm water whenever you get the headache. The pleasure is much harder to beat than the physical symptoms though.

Now we've come to a clear agreement about not continuing as husband and wife but to go forward as friends, there's a new kind of warmth between us, as if some negative charge has disappeared. So we're not splitting up in that sense, we've got a lot of mutual interest and business to run so on the practical level not much is changing yet. Thanks for the insight on the spleen, Freeform. It's funny: the first half of today was very clear, no anxiety or feelings of insecurity, then after noon or so, there's been constant thoughts of doubt and inner dialogue about if I'll ever get another girl in my life But it's just emotions that I somehow seem to want to dress up in thoughts. This could be because I haven't had much movement today, mainly driving. Also a good point about the sounds. I've thought of them as a means of getting in contact with the organ, though they sometimes work in a calming way too.

It was not the best timing to start working with the spleen when she'd just come home and I had only a few hours of sleep behind me.. Now I'm attacked by anxiety, I felt it strongly in the evening and now I woke up in the middle of the night, I feel it in every cell. It's a different vibe from the liver heating I had before, the heart is not hyperactive but the mind/nerves are somehow overcharged. Emotions.. How much my perception of them has changed during the last week or so. Well, back to the healing sounds.. Whoooooo

Thank you longrythm, in fact I can't seem to avoid changing social conditions, they seem to change by themselves.. It's just to meditate and let it flow, allow to come and dare to let go.. I am also determined to express myself more fully. BTW I did the spleen sounds today and it also heated up and started releasin emotions. One thing I noticed is that the emotions feel "bad" as they rise up from the organs but once they hit the crown they seem to dissolve.

Markern, I just read this post over and placed an order on 2 books by D.Shade Let's see if he could teach me something useful.

Go where? I don't need to go, I am already here Self-pity is not bothering me anymore. Jealousy is constantly being transmuted into bliss. I'm more interested in energy work than in constantly changing my social conditions, if I chose to go I would probably have to keep on "going" again and again..

She's home.. Things are quite different from what they used to be.. And I would say for the better. First of all, she HAS been fucking her friend. I gave her my feelings about it, I let the liver tell me what to say.. She took it all quite well. After that I settled, my liver settled and we started getting constructive. And now... We're quite happy together Not that there's likely gonna be anything "more" between us than a very deep, long under-the-skin kind of friendship, and from this experience I gather that there's not many things in this world that could come between us to break it. I realise now that what we share is so much more profound than a simple act of screwing (which she said was quite enjoyable and ok, btw) that to throw a treasure like this to waste for jealousy would be sheer madness. It feels kinda nice to have the freedom to fuck around if I feel like it, who knows if the perfect sexual kungfu sparring partner should show up one day? Meanwhile, our projects will be running and the children growing, with some kind affection and tenderness expressed whenever we have time for it... Otherwise I must say that energy to me is the greatest pleasure right now, it's clean and easy, with no excess social drama involved:) I seem to be able to "come" internally by just holding her hand It's still uncertain how things will run when it comes to the guy and her, they'll probably have some rendez-vous every now and then, like a few times a year or so.. but when it comes to human relationships I've noticed they can be shaky, especially when there's not so good communication going (they have different language and the guy has bad english). So this I also can't worry about, I let the Tao take its course and bring whatever it will. It has come more and more clear to me that to advance on the path of righteous spirituality it's possessiveness and anger like mine that HAVE TO be dealt with. The liver seems to be my key organ, but I'm going to search through the others also to find if there's something lodged there. I think this is it for now, if there's more to tell I'll surely resurrect this thread and share the news. thank you for your support, Taobums! God bless. King K

Soak 10 almonds overnight, then peel and put in blender with: 1 cup warm milk 1 pinch saffron 1 pinch nutmeg raw sugar to taste

Peel and grate finely a nice big chunk of fresh ginger, squeeze the juice from it with a sieve cloth, then squeeze half a lime into it. This is a balanced digestive aid/flu preventive/stimulant for all body types. And it doesn't taste as hevy as plain ginger juice. Cheers! A word of caution though, according to Ayurveda, ginger and aspirin are not considered good together.

Been drinking the ginger daily. No flu yet, though my kids (and friends) have had em on and off this fall. Health is practical

My fatigue is long gone.. After learning Ayurvedic diet, Taoist yoga incl. sexual kungfu, Inner Smile, Microcosmic Orbit and, very importantly, Tao Yin Qigong, I finally seem to have more energy than my work, three kids and tricky relationship can drain from me. Thank God for that. One thing to consider is your psoas muscles and the ring muscle network in your body. These are closely connected to chi flow, the psoases don't usually get enough exercise in regular training. Check out "Energy balance through the Tao" by Mantak Chia, these are very easy exercices with much energizing effect. I can't say which Taoist technique has helped me the most since they're all beneficial but after I begun the Tao Yin things started happening and that was the most dramatic change in my energy levels so far.

Now the heartbeat has calmed down, there's a bit of heat still coming from the liver but mostly I'm feeling relaxed and easy. Lot of healing sounds today, they're the best. I spoke today with a friend who's recently broken up with his woman and we got a very open-hearted communication going, after this I did the Tao Yin program and ended up feeling very relaxed. I'm honestly not bothered anymore by the thought that she might be making love with her friend at this particular moment. Whenever I think about it it just releases a little more heat from the liver. Feels kinda good in a way Freeform, I'm sending you my blessings. Thank you.

Yeah I guess I'm a bit neurotic in that sense.

My situation has got me more and more interested in the Five Elements meditation. I have the book by Chia but it seems a teacher might be necessary to get me somewhere. I even know a couple of guys who teach it around here, well not here but within a driving distance. The book gives good information about emotions and their respective organs. Do you think there are dangers to doing these formulas without a teacher? Still I feel a lot of anticipation and a bit of heat, the heart beats quite rapidly most of the time. Every now and then there appears a wave of bliss when I get connected to the more unconditional compassion I feel towards that angel I love so much THIS IS VERY EDUCATIONAL I TELL YOU AND FAR FROM A NEGATIVE EXPERIENCE THOUGH MIGHTY CHALLENGING. I'm thinking I'll let her read this thread once she gets home tomorrow. Or, I'll MAKE her read it

"There is never any good reason to use drugs. They do NOT expand the mind, nor do they lead to enlightenment....It is a sad joke to think drugs can acomplish what meditation can. It is all a lie and a deception." In my experience, it's not that simple, though you're probably right in almost every way. I used to smoke cannabis daily for many years. Then once I started Qigong I quit because i didn't feel like it anymore (end of addiction). Then I came upon a new hard challenge in life.. I had to dig into my anger (check the jealousy thread). Sitting at my kitchen table I realised this was the time to take cannabis, if ever. I know it irritates the liver so I couldn't let go of the idea that I should smoke it though I didn't feel like smoking at all, there was no (conscious) desire for it, the thought of inhaling smoke didn't appeal to me. I puffed some Sativa that I had left from my former homegrowing. Then I started connecting to the liver. Things happened instantly, I was relaxed but in full anger and letting it all flow. After that things have been going towards healing, my meditation is more calm, I don't plan nor feel any need to smoke any more. BUT this few puffs I took were definately a tool.. Not something I couldn't have done without, no no. But still there was no harm done and there was a lot of rapid healing while "under mi sensi". So while I agree that for meditation there's no substance that could help you (except sattvic diet in general), for working with emotions, if you know what you're doing and are truthful to yourself, cannabis for example MAY be of assistance, especially where the process must be "kick-started" to avoid unnecessary, lengthened suffering. Once the emotions are moving and the process is on, then pure meditation without additives is the way to go. Love, King K

Well, what are internet forums for? Seriously, I never consciously anticipated anything this effective would come through TTB. I posted mainly because I was alone with my situation and needed to spill it to somebody, didn't want to put the load on my mother, she would've only felt sorry for me The purpose of cultivating to me is to increase the loving capacity. Once we can remove the hidden obstacles the capacity will increase and loving will not be as difficult, dramatic or traumatic. I used to believe in this before, now I know it's for real. And Freeform, THANK YOU

Freeform, if you reading this... Do you think at my current situation it is advisable to avoid foods that add heat to the body or is it ok to let the liver heat up to stimulate the process? I guess liver cleansing foods & herbs could also be beneficial? I've still had no more mental issues, no sadness, none. I'm open to other people and feel like I can relate well to everyone, including the wife. Where there used to be a feeling of jealousy when thinking about her and her possible lover together, there is now a feeling of anticipation in the gut as if excited about something to come, not really knowing what it will be. It reminds me of stage fever, you know when you're about to make a speech or sing in front of an audience. I also get sexually a bit excited when thinking of those two in bed and imagining my wife in extreme arousal and fulfillment. I try not to do that too much though to avoid overheating There's a fiery feeling spreading from my liver to the whole body. Last night I woke up in the middle of the night and I was feeling very energized. Took many healing sounds to get me back to sleep but it helped. All the time I'm feeling this fiery electric energy in the whole body. I feel the anger spicing things up, there hasn't been an uninspired moment since this started to happen two days ago. I haven't been any angrier at my kids than usual, maybe a little less aggressive. Well, my wife is coming home in two days, we're gonna see if her presence can cool me down or if I should consult a chigong doctor or something.

You're right about that, there's no right or wrong answer here when it comes to the children. Only that they should have a chance to see their mother and that if their mom can be here working on our home & other projects with me then it's (probably) more practical than splitting up. I'm actually making the decision with intention to become more open to life's different possibilities and to live in the "flow" instead of using fixed social patterns of behaviour, like "saving our marriage" vs. "divorce". There's got to be a middle path, a yogic path, and that's what I feel I've already taken. This has been a consciousness-expanding experience already.. I now seem to think she's really done me a favor because without a crisis like this there would possibly have been no real movement within the relationship, in my spiritual state, in my cultivation. Not to mention hers. Or the movement would have been much slower at least. I think the children have suffered from all this withheld anger too. Nobody wants a sissy father, right? (another dumb generalisation)

I think it's about finding out WHAT EXACTLY IT IS about desire towards pleasure that makes them not good for spiritual progress. So to experience something to the fullness while being conscious of your own feelings, then understanding that there will be no further fulfillment through that pleasure, that's it. If the desires don't just drop off as you advance then you're not ready for enlightenment. Now its a different thing to discipline yourself about desires. I think the first step is to be "under" the desire and let it throw you off balance as desires and addictions normally tend to do. The next step is to discipline yourself, maybe quit doing the thing you get the kicks out of for some time and to experience life without the treat. Then eventually it's probably time to get back to it again, this time with more awareness and the underlying conscious intention to live it to be able to leave it. This is probably the most difficult and critical step and many probably return to step one. Not to say this is the only way around desires, but it could be

Transmuting all this anger feels almost like a Kundalini awakening (as I've heard it described), only the power doesn't come from the sacrum , it bubbles from the liver. This is my first taste of true emotional alchemy.

Yes! I'm feeling VERY ALIVE when compared to a few days ago when I was simply trying to "keep myself together" and the result was comatose. Freeform, I could kiss you for showing me my anger. I've been needing this, it's a new current of life flowing.. Despite the uproar of emotions and energies (or because of it) I'm just much more inspired now. And the liver feels only a bit heated at the moment, I was doing the Shhhhh sound and at times it even felt cool.

That one was an interesting post, ninjitsu man. I don't agree that the children will suffer from realizing their parents weren't passionate lovers after all.. Since we're not going to play it like that. They will naturally grow along with the situation, whatever the way it's gonna go. The crisis is ON and it's too late to avoid that. Rather we can dig into ourselves; can we live together the weekends and play house, doing our chores, renovating the house, singing music, talking about spiritual things and yoga? Can we continue with those things that have been our strongest link all the while? I believe from my heart it's possible. And being honest when the children ask questions about anything is very important to me. We won't have to stay like this for the next 15 years, that's a strange way to see it. That's the liberation here, we won't HAVE TO stay any way we don't wish. One of the reasons my wife wants this freedom is because she feels anxiety over thinking like that. That you're somehow locked for years and years to come. I admit I'm beginning to feel the same myself. I know it can make a woman fall in love deeply if she gets the good stuff in bed (or on the couch or the carpet or wherever). But if that happens it's going to be very hard for her, since this potential "lover" is quite far away and she'll only be able to visit him a couple times a year. Now you don't know her but she's quite conscious of things and when she says she's only looking for friendship she probably means just that. She's got a five years study plan and knowing her determinition she's not going to let a romance distract her. But I don't worry over it, if she really falls for him of course she'll be going to live with him for good at one point or another, and that will be the natural end of our "open relationship". My own urge is under control nowadays, have you ever heard of Taoist techniques ? THEY FUCKING WORK! It doesn't mean I wouldn't take good sex/burning romance if I could get it, but it would have "click" in a certain way. Higher vibrations, you see. She does them exercices also and has no URGE but she wants the freedom to love. And now I want to give her every nice thing I can, including freedom. I think the way you make it sound is that there's absolutely no liberation from the lower feelings of possessing. I disagree. But I do know it may take constant working on it, but it's like any workout.. daily repetition.