Hi there,
I started this thread about Stephane Hemon 2.5 years ago and my God, I'm surprised to see it's still going on and on, and has almost 20,000 views now !!! (Congratulations to the people maintaining this site, it's great.)
I wanted to quote Guycitron because I think it's rather high praise for Stephane, and Stephane is certainly getting a lot of negativity at the moment.
I agree with Guycitron, and I want to say that Stephane's email chains from the period 2005-2007 were absolutely brilliant. Stephane would write long advice for people (usually men) that was completely spot on. You don't build up an email list, as Stephane did, of 20k or 30k by having useless content. It was in fact pure gold. It was not plagerised - he was answering real-life problems with his advice.
I'm in my thirties, in 2005 I was a single divorcee. I spent money with Stephane and would have spent double, or triple, for the help he gave me.
Once in fact I wrote to Stephane a short email, having just found a great g/f and feeling a bit volatile, having a lot of PUA stuff in my head. Some people might agree - it's very hard when you learn PUA stuff (it works, obviously) and then have to change gears quickly, once you've met a fantastic girl. (I call it "over-achieving" - meeting the type of girl that you always wanted, always dreamed of, and acting in such a way in those first 5 dates to make sure that any attraction that she feels for you is seized upon and enhanced - that to me is the real purpose of PUA skills - then after those 5 or so dates, of course, you're in a relationship, and you're on your own - PUA skills can't help after the first week or two. Anyone who objects to PUA skills cannot object to the idea of one person helping another person to be in a relationship, and then getting married and having kids - people object to PUA stuff when the skills are abused - but the skills are not always abused. It's not the PUA's fault if the skills are abused by guys without integrity.)
Anyway, as I said, it can be hard to change gears from a "high gear" PUA mentality, down to a "low gear" steady monogamous relationship, for anyone. So I wrote to Stephane, and he wrote back with advice, for free. He told me what I needed to hear, referenced his relationship with Ghita, and basically took time out of his life, to help me, a 33 year old guy on the other side of the world who he'd never met.
I have no doubt that Stephane has been doing this for people, who now number in the thousands, for many years. Therefore, he will no doubt attract some dozen or so enemies.
I've never met Stephane. I saw Daisy's video about him, and I read about Greta's father.
(Actually I am married to a Polish girl - the same girl I was with when I asked Stephane for advice - indeed I credit Stephane with helping me to first be in, and then stay in my relationship with her. I'm 36, she's 27, and 2 months ago she gave birth to my first son. To Stephane: Thank-you always.)
But I didn't like it when Daisy referred to Greta as a "Polish bitch". Please. Polish girls are probably the nicest in the world. To any single guy: I recommend Polish girls if you want beauty, loyalty and love.
Concerning all of the allegations about Stephane, some may have a grain of truth: Stephane no doubt does feel a lot of pain inside, as do most people who are highly tuned to emotional and spiritual matters. This pain that Stephane feels may lead him to overdo it on the drug side sometimes - I don't know, I'm just guessing. But what Stephane does in his spare time isn't really my concern. I'm a lawyer. I used to take drugs. I could still do my job well. In fact I don't give a damn if Stephane Hemon takes drugs, or even if he shares drugs with girls. If he forced a girl to take drugs, or kidnapped her, that would be a crime, and I would have a huge problem with that - but (so far) no one has alleged that, to my knowledge.
Not paying taxes or cheating on parking meters (he and Ghita had a youtube clip about that) are morally wrong, so I don't condone that at all.
Some allegations I think are not true: You cannot say that he is a "cult leader" because he has a 20-30k long email chain going on. The long email chain is evidence that now or in the past people like to hear what he has to say. Dick Cheney likes to torture people, and says so to millions of people: so far, he's not been called a cult leader. Just because Stephane writes things to people, whatever he says, does not make him a cult leader.
Some allegations I don't know: plagerism is not good, but I've not seen evidence of word-for-word copying (which plagerism has to be). Copying ideas is not wrong per se. Stephane does credit other prople with some of his ideas - Steve Piccus for example. I'd never heard of Steve P, and now thank to Stephane I have.
He may display cult leader tendencies in his personal interactions with people. He may be a disagreeable person after some wine. I don't know. If so, I'm sad for Stephane. But if you are a person who has personal interaction with him, you have the choice to be in his presence, or not.
History is full of people who were aweful to be around, yet who wrote or created or did brilliant things. So even if you say he's terrible company, I can't say that between Stephane and me, "it's over" (in the sense of my gratitude to him).
There's no doubt that he shared a deep love with Ghita for many years. That should be respected, and perhaps even admired. The fact that they broke up doesn't prove anything. I'm still with my wife: is that some kind of proof? No, because when it comes to life and love, things aren't always simple. So I don't think his relationship with Ghita can be written off or used against Stephane.
The whole circles thing, which Stephane suddenly disavowed last year, was always extreme, and likely to appeal to those who are easily led (myself included). I didn't try the circle thing, but my wife did when she was much younger 7 or 8 years ago. She is bisexual, and when she told me about her experiences with 3-somes and 4-somes, I didn't know quite how to feel. The wrong way to feel would have been jealous or offended - and that's how I would have felt if I had not read Stephane's posts, and "gone along for the ride" with Stephane (metaphorically). So again, thanks to Stephane, I had my mind opened, and I worked through my insecure feelings.
Interestingly, most venom seems to have started when Stephane disvowed circles. I would guess that many guys were trying to get circles together, then suddenly lost their "leader" and felt betrayed. But Stephane always said that you have to walk before you can run. His work is powerful with many different "tracks". If you go down one track, and then get cut off, it could hurt, I suppose.
Concerning squirting, that is an absolute gift that Stephane has brought "to the masses" (myself included). My wife never did get to squirt, but her orgasms improved and our sex life went off the scales .... again: Thank-you Stephane.
Just to emphasize: I am grateful to the "professional" Stephane, who in his chosen profession has helped me get an amazing wife, and now an amazing son. I do not know the "private" or "personal" Stephane, so I must suspend my judgment. He has not (to my knowledge) been convicted of any serious crime in the last 4 years, and I do not find drug use, multiple sex partners, circles or orgasms morally offensive.
The fact that Stephane chose to live in a very public way via his emails and posts doesn't mean that I cannot distinguish between the "professional" Stephane and the "private" or "personal" Stephane. I do make that distinction because he helped me in his professional capacity. Therefore, the "personal" character assasination by Daisy and others falls flat with me (but is, at it's lowest level, fascinating to watch: because people are, and always will be, attracted to a scandal).
Like many authors and artists, over years Stephane has had periods, phases, whatever you want to call them. Again: For me, the email chain from 2005-2007 was pure gold, and simply cannot be surpassed for PUA and dating, and emotional and relationship advice.
I could go on, but that's probably enough, and if you've read this far, I'll be interested in your comments.
- Steve
