Ninpo-me-this-ninjutsu-me-that

I don't suppose this sage is you by any chance is it manitou? This kind of reminds me of a 'what would Jesus do?' kind of thing. It's a good idea though, it could go far.

Then you have succeeded! Don't you think everyone was happy commenting on this thread? I know I was, so, you did succeed in your goal, just not the way you expected to. I am happy! So that's a +1. Seriously, don't worry what everyone thinks, just experience what you are experiencing.

I think I see what you're saying now L7S, what you're saying is that silliness is equal to enlightenment!!! I believe him! My God.....I just had a revelation.... if I believe him that makes me an idiot.... and idiocy is = to silliness and silliness is = to enlightenment! I'm enlightened!!! I had no idea. So.... this is what it feels like to be enlightened... I must say, I'm a bit disappointed, 'cos I don't feel any different to what I felt like 10 minutes ago. So this was what all the fuss was about? I guess I should start teaching now, as that's considered the right thing to do when your enlightened like me. Ok, here's a go: "You are silly, I am silly, we are all one expression of ultimate silliness, lo, behold a star struck upon a tuning fork, free biscuits for all" How did I do? I think it's not bad for a first crack. I think I should practice a bit mind you. I would welcome any further questions that would enhance my enlightened status... sorry, I meant state. Ahhh, peak freans.... a fond memory from the time (about ten minutes ago) when I wasn't enlightened. It seems so far away now. You are the biscuit. By the way, weren't peak freanes the 'el cheapo ones?? Custard creams and all that. I'd kill for a packet of malted milk right now let me tell 'ya! Obviously I wouldn't really now I'm enlightened, I'm just saying like. YOUR ARE THE CAR!! Man, I was gonna use the Martin Luther king speech, but you did much better with it than I would have. You are silly! Therefore enlightened. At least within the confines of this thread. I'm sending you a silly transmission to aid you in your growth, as God knows you need it! ps. I never saw peak Freanes looking as classy as in that picture. I'm pretty sure they were on the bottom shelf in Londis.

It sounds to me from that poem of yours Vaj that you experienced Daoist perfection! I'm not sure if that's the 'right view' for me to take though! :lol:

Well, it's that time of year again where we all pretend we are Daoist yet still do the Christmas thang. I'd like to wish all of you here a very Merry Christmas and hope you all have the very best of whatever you consider important to yourselves (and not what others may consider important), that which helps you to grow and be more of what you are. But I would like to suggest maybe, just maybe, you do something that is strange, unusual or even ridiculous this Christmas just for the hell of it, break down that social acceptance conditioning just to get closer to the all that is. Don't go over board mind you! I may be a bit premature (as usual), but it's Christmas Eve for me, all be it the early hours of Christmas eve. Anyway, Merry Christmas to you all and wishing you a very Merry Christmas!

As I understand it Pietro, Darwin never actually proposed that we were descended from apes, he simply said there was a point up to which it seemed it was going that way and then something happened which couldn't be accounted for. There is a break in the theory of evolution. It was the royal society that lambasted him at the time and actually made fun of the idea that we came from apes, but he never directly stated that in any case. The theory that has been taught was not in fact what he stated. I'd like to find the reference link for that but honestly Pietro I'm a bit drunk and that's a bridge too fat at this precise moment in time. Awww, thanks Cat, that's nice of you, Merry Christmas to you

If that can get me feeling what they are feeling at the same time I'll definitely give it a go! Thanks for the advice, I'll look into it.

There is a downside Cat, after experiencing a female body my male body pales by comparison. Somewhat like driving around all your life in a Ford Fiesta 1.1 then getting to drive in an all leather interior (with fur covered steering wheel) B.M.W for day. The Fiesta is never quite the same after that. Subsequent girlfriends got all the upsides

You just reminded me of one of my more bizarre experiences years ago Cat. Back in the day when I was really quite into the OBE thing (I don't mean the royal award by the way) I had been reading bits and pieces about multiple dimensional selves, a similar 'you' but existing in a dimension removed. I decided I would really quite like to find one. Usually when there was some information I wanted to find out that wasn't possible in the normal way, when the intention/desire had built, it would trip an OBE. In any case I felt the usual vibration as I was detaching but instead of my eyes fading in in my bedroom I ended up somewhere completely different already walking down a corridor feeling exactly the same as I was physical (which isn't common in an OBE). This kind of freaked me out at my surroundings were all rather 'Star Trek', for a brief moment I thought maybe it was a future life. People were walking past me so I was trying to not give away that I didn't know where the hell I was. What really flipped me out was when someone came out of a door and said hello to me and my actual name. Very soon after that I found what seemed like a cabin I could hide in and just prayed to go back to where I came from. Luckily I did (unlucky for some though). I'm not sure what would have happened if I had changed something, he probably would have got in trouble! As it was he probably simply woke back up wondering what happened to about two minutes. Ever had a couple of minutes disappear? Maybe someone payed you a visit Incidentally I once ended up in a females body and I gotta say you lot are sooooo lucky, your bodies are about ten times more sensitive to physical pleasure than a males (don't ask how I found that out)! I should also perhaps make it clear it was consenting! She was being nice to me Misspent youth I'd say.

I'd go back and stop myself making a big mistake with the girl in the canteen at the office Christmas party. Although on the plus side I did get free bacon egg and chips for breakfast for a week.

And maybe when you grow up a bit and learn how to talk to people like they are human beings you will have something intelligent to say. Robert Bruce is not your substitute father. You are your own substitute father and one day you will realize that and cease to misplace all of that passion and loyalty of yours.

Edit: Double teddy bear post

I think someone already stole his inner teddy bear! That's the problem.

Oh man, what are you on? Seriously you need to chill the fuck out.

You missed 'Charm 101' at school didn't you! It's not nearly as good/bad(take your pick)as a painting I once did. I showed my girlfriend at the time my painting and asked her what she thought about it, it was a geometric abstract, she said "it makes me sick!", I actually thought she meant 'makes me sick' as in she disliked it intensely, but she then told me "no, I mean when I look at it I physically want to vomit! It makes me feel like vomiting!". Needless to say that was one of the highest compliments I've ever gotten for one of my creative works, still today I swell with pride every time I think of it. Your bowel movement is just another string in my bow.

Challenge accepted!! Obviously I'm not gonna' write a whole book to prove my point, but I think you'll agree by the end of my passages that it's entirely possible! Here we go! One day, I, the artist formerly known as Apech7, was walking in the desert, somewhere in South America. The sand was warm under my feet even though I was wearing my favorite pair of Dr. Martins. Why was I in the desert you may ask? Well, here's the thing; I had been majoring in Engineering at university for some years by that point, and had gotten really bored with spanners and grease and the like, and that day, as if out of nowhere, my classmate Bob, had suddenly started speaking in comprehensible tongues, "blur bloo bluurrr ioooo eeee uurrggg go to south america to seek your spiritual destiny poooo eeee errrrr doooooo", It was barely understandable, but I knew it was a sign from the heavens! I rushed out of the workshop, leaving Bod frothing at the mouth shaking on the floor, and hailed a taxi. Due to my overexcitement I failed, at that time, to notice something very strange, the taxi was in fact from the 1800's and was being pulled along by a horse, with a man in a top hat and rather nice pair of shiny boots. I like boots, and still now to this day, this it what stands out in my mind. Inside, the taxi seemed unproportionately larger than the outside appearance, I found this curious, as I was an expert in all forms of transport, such as cars, buses and tricycles. Cut a long story short, I fell asleep and woke what seemed like many hours later, the scene outside the carriage had changed considerably, no more was I viewing medeival England, my native time zone, but now, everywhere around me was desert, and not the attractive kind either. Suddenly the carriage stopped with a start. I realized I had reached my destination and with some trepidation I flung open the door with brazen wantoness in order to give a grand entrance in case anyone was waiting for me outside. Sadly, no one was there, and it was all in vain, looking up at the taxi I noticed that the driver had changed into a Cheshire cat with a huge grin, I tipped him with 4 talons of gold, I had always been a generous tipper, this was simply because after having worked in TGI Fridays one summer, I realized people in the service industries were greatly under appreciated. I began to wander in the desert, as you do, as the taxi stampeded into the distance. It was then I had a thought which was to change my life forever! It wasn't a normal kind of thought such as 'where did I leave my keys', no, this thought was truly epic in it's magnitude, the kind of thought normal people, except the gifted and deep, don't think, and it was this.....'what is the meaning of life?'. Frankly I had no idea, but I knew it was a question I would have all sown up very soon. In the distance I saw a lone hut, as I drew closer I read a sign atop, it read 'meaningful wife - Native Dating service', I realized this was quite literally...a sign, meaningful wife rhymed with 'meaningful life', I had been brought here for a reason! I decided to take destiny by the scruff of the neck and enter this establishment, I was also incredibly thirsty by that point so I had little choice, and with any luck I would achieve enlightenment and find a wife, the kind that does what she's told and cooks me a nice dinner. I entered the shop to find it bare except for a dusty old counter and a dog eared edition of Playboy Christmas edition 1965, thumbing through the magazine, as I had little else to do, I was shocked when, as if by magic, the shopkeeper appeared. He was a nondescript man with shockingly bad taste in fashion! On top of his head he wore a native American Indian Yaqui Fess, bright red with an extra long tassle that rolled over his shoulder, the rest of his clothing I forget at this time, he may have been naked for all I can remember. The strangely wise looking old man then spoke "I am Don corlioni huan quixote Yaqui Indian, it's a bit of a mouthful I know, but blame my mother' he said, with a shrug; he continued "..I am here to teach you the meaning of life and teach you all kinds of spiritual stuff besides.", with some nervousness I replied "OK.". "We have no time to waste, you must go to the back room now and choose an outfit!", his voice had so much authority, how could I deny this man? So I went through the back door and noticed many hangers with costumes, dusty and old, yet not unattractive to me. Most of the costumes looked like they were from a 1980's Village People music video revival, and I chose the one that had appealed to me most as a lad, yes, who wouldn't choose the costume of the police officer, luckily there was also a stick on moustache to go with it. Carefully putting the cap on my head, with a jaunty angle, and attaching the moustache I exited the back passage. Mr Don (as he will be now known as)started, surprised to see me dressed up to the nines so quick, he had been looking through Playboy, obviously seeking spiritual inspiration. "WE HAVE NO TIME TO WASTE!", he shouted, rather pointlessly in my view as I was not two feet away from him. He whisked the both of us away by a means that was strangely magical and beyond description so I'll not bother trying. We arrived, somehow, at a car factory. Mr. Don explained to me that all native Yaqui worked here, and if I was to find a wife, and enlightenment, this was the place to be! Entering the factory I saw a plethora of bare breasted natives, messy with grease and spanners. I felt nervous as all this native stuff was beyond my civilized upbringing, Mr. Don noticed my shame and said "don't worry, they can't even see you, they're all off their faces on peyote!". "Why have you really brought me here?", Mr. Don realized I was not your usual type of spiritual seeker that would get his camera out and start taking photos, I didn't realize it then, but I had past a test. This was why he had brought me to the 'Car Assembly Point'! Ok, I'm done, some of us have to go to work. I think you'll agree that it's entirely possible to create an authentic spiritual work based on true Indian, whatever kind, beliefs and traditions.

I just realized Alfred E is J.K. I'm so slow sometimes. Now I know where all this talk of three headed dogs is coming from.

Fair enough.

I then apologize, and would like to change my advice to "NOT AS MUCH AS YOU LIKE!!!". Sorry 'bout that, had I known it was something to do with P.E I wouldn't have been so quick.....er...... that wasn't deliberate. Shit, sometimes I just need to shut it. There are lots of people coming through here () always asking how many times a day they should or shouldn't ejaculate. It goes a bit far sometimes. But again, sorry. I hope you can sort it out as that must be a real downer. ... ..I think I should remove myself from this thread as I'm now unintentionally making puns, and I really don't mean to, I could be just reading into it. Hope you can sort it out. I can't really offer to much advice on P.E, I kind of practiced not to have that from a young age. I'm not sure it was healthy mind you. Wish you well. That was nice, I'm looking forward to tomorrow morning! Made me laugh!!

He means retaining consciousness within that body. There is no amazing thing about the etheric body leaving the physical, that is perfunctory and happens every time you sleep. The trick is transferring your consciousness which usually remains within the proximity of your physical into that body. This requires concentration dependent on how tired the body is or how much you have developed the ability to maintain a low brainwave state. Without being able to focus your intention in that moment your consciousness will simply slip back to the region of your sleeping body. and your etheric will simply go on with it's wanderings. It actually has a mind and life of it's own over there. You can view it in a similar fashion to the old 'being in the now' without letting any extraneous thought get in the way of that. Hard to do in the physical and hard to do there too. But this ability to concentrate on the now directly relates to how long you can perform an out of body experience for without you slipping off. I'm not sure why Alfred is trying to make it so obtuse either. It is not. An interesting further point is that consciousness is divisible, in some circumstances you can retain some consciousness in the physical with your eyes open and also transfer part of your consciousness to your etheric. This results in a rather bizarre split vision. edit. wrong word

I can see it and I can tell you sloppy that it's title is: "Mals big bumper book of Playboy Bunnies in the Playboy Mansion". ps. Not really.'Mastering Astral Projection' Robert bruce and Brian Mercer'

I'm really enjoying the series of Kundalini threads. It's like a lucky dip, you just never know what you're gonna get, in the other one we got some nice Buddhism and on this one we get OBE. I think all the threads on the bums should be labeled 'Kundalini', then we'd have to really go searching for something we are interested in, actually it's often a pleasant surprise. @Mal: Is that book any good Mal?

I just wanna say I love the title of your thread! I instinctively wanna say "AS MANY AS YOU LIKE BRO!!!"

I just saw this after I posted the previous.