Mark Foote

Karan did that retreat in India, I think, but within the last two decades. I believe they're all the way he outlined now, even if that's not necessary.

No doer of the deeds is found, No being that may reap their fruits. Empty phenomena roll on! This is the only right view. - Visuddhimagga The air element that courses through all the limbs and has the characteristic of moving and distending, being founded upon earth, held together by water, and maintained by fire, distends this body. And this body, being distended by the latter kind of air, does not collapse, but stands erect, and being propelled by the other (motile) air, it shows intimation, and it flexes and extends and it wriggles the hands and feet, doing so in the postures comprising walking, standing, sitting and lying down. So this mechanism of elements carries on like a magic trick… (Ibid XI, 92) The question before us is, "who... moves the hands and feet"? Buddhaghosa gives a reply: it’s the air element, “… and being propelled by the other (motile) air, … it wriggles the hands and feet…”. When that stage hypnotist says, "your arm is very heavy", and the subject's arm begins to drop, who moved the arm? When I go to leave the house, and my feet won't go to the door, who has stuck my feet to the floor? If I force my feet to the door, have I really gone anywhere, in a spiritual sense? One time Huike climbed up Few Houses Peak with Bodhidharma. Bodhidharma asked, 'Where are we going?' Huike said, 'Please go right ahead--that's it.' Bodhidharma said, 'If you go right ahead, you cannot move a step.' (Denkoroku [The Transmission of Light], Huike [Shenguang, 30], tr Thomas Cleary, Shambala p 111) I focused on the breath, looking to be mindful of each inhalation and each exhalation all day long. I didn't quite succeed, but at some point in the afternoon (in the panhandle in San Francisco in 1975), the motile air got me up off a chair and "wriggled" my feet to the door. All it took was a lot of experimenting with hypnosis, a poor vegan diet for years, and desperation. Maybe Kobun's example, too, though I was never a student.

Goleman's "Emotional Intelligence" explores the way the amygdala stores memories of hurt and harm and bypasses the frontal cortex to induce immediate response, in similar situations.

Have you seen Adventures at the Vipassana Enlightenment Factory? Karan Vasudeva took fastidious notes on his experience, and although it wasn't a triggering event for him, the strangeness of the whole experience comes across clearly. I've read the accounts of others being triggered by Vipassana retreats, as well.

Terror in the anticipation, sure. Not so sure terror is the feeling at the moment when life is actually on the line.

There is an agency, and it can be observed the same as the phenomena you reference. That's why Hakuin included the hands and feet in the quote I cited earlier ("to learn who uses the eyes, ears, nose, tongue, and body and moves the hands and feet"). Walking along hand in hand with Wu Tsu, Yuanwu's teacher. Just sayin'!

Be like that, Ralis! Now we know how badly the Allies miscalculated everything about that invasion, how many lives were lost that probably didn't have to be. I have a friend whose father was a Marine in the Pacific. Turns out a lot of those islands didn't have to be taken from the Japanese, in particular Peleliu, where my friend's father fought. He came back a pacifist. I think dwai is right, one doesn't necessarily feel the terror in the situation. PTSD, though, big time.

I know you have pointed to your posts elsewhere on Dao Bums, awaken, but can you bring just a little of the meaning of "black liver light", "rabbit marrow light", and "YanShen light" here? Or maybe, more specifically, of "black liver", "rabbit marrow", and "YanShen".

Do we disidentify with all the physical and emotional and mental and karmic, or specifically with the notion of being the actor with respect to these things, of being able to act (out of will) with respect to these things in a manner that doesn't leave a residue to be dealt with in the future? And what has that got to do with the central channel, if I may?

That moral behavior is a prerequisite to that cessation of action of speech, body, and mind by which one contacts freedom, certainly Gautama taught that. Then again, he also taught: Where there have been deeds, Ananda, personal weal and woe arise in consequence of the will there was in the deeds. Where there has been speech–where there has been thought, personal weal and woe arise in consequence of the will there was in the speech–in the thought. Either we of ourselves, Ananda, plan those planned deeds conditioned by ignorance, whence so caused arises personal weal and woe, or others plan those planned deeds that we do conditioned on ignorance, whence so conditioned arises personal weal and woe. Either they are done deliberately, or we do them unwittingly. Thence both ways arises personal weal and woe. So also is it where there has been speech, where there has been thought. Either we plan, speaking, thinking deliberately, or others plan, so that we speak, think unwittingly. Thence arises personal weal and woe. In these six cases ignorance is followed after. But from the utter fading away and cessation of ignorance, Ananda, those deeds are not, whence so conditioned arises personal weal and woe. Neither is that speech, nor that thought. As field they are not; as base they are not; as wherewithal they are not; as occasion they are not, that so conditioned there might arise personal weal and woe. (SN II text ii, 36, Pali Text Society SN Vol II p. 31-32) The cessation of ignorance leads to the cessation of willful action. Just as Gautama assumes his listener will know that cessation is the cessation of willful activity, he assumes his listener will understand that ignorance is the ignorance of the lack of any self in connection with form, feeling, mind, habitual tendencies, or mental states. At least, that's the way I read it! I would say really overcoming that ignorance would involve an experience of the cessation of volition in perceiving and feeling. That state, and the states of concentration that lead to that state, are attained through "lack of desire, by means of lack of desire", and "whatever (one) imagines (these states) to be, (they) are otherwise." It's the grasping after self in connection with the five groups that constitutes suffering. For the most part, I think Gautama realized the cessation of volition in in-breathing and out-breathing at regular intervals, and not the cessation of volition in perceiving and feeling.

As the end of days looms ever larger in the windshield (my end of days, not necessarily the world's), I am fascinated to watch movies from the days when my parents were growing up, and to think about the parts of my personality that seem drawn from each of them. I discovered that a slight my father showed me, rolling a silver dollar over the backs of the fingers of one hand, is demonstrated in a Mr. Moto movie. Likewise, palming a card from the front of the hand to the back and vice-versa, so that it appears the hand has been shown empty. My father liked the mystery detective films of the '30's, when he was a teen. I realized that my mother probably saw films with Louise Brooks in her late teens, and the stars that Jimmy Durante brought to Hollywood, James Cagney and Joan Blondell, in her twenties. These people modeled attitudes and values, and IMHO they are still an influence today, somewhere in the background. I suspect that my temper and impetuosity are from my father, and my general social impulses are from my mother. How much of what I have from them, did they get from their parents, and from circumstances stretching back through the generations! Reading the Pali sermons, I can see that at least initially Gautama's emphasis was on enlightenment. I believe that it was only later that he began to advocate for the particular mindfulness that he said made up his way of living, and to refer to his way of living as a "a thing peaceful in itself, and a pleasant way of living." Peaceful in itself, like maybe it's enough to master the way of living he taught (not the rules of the order, but the mindfulness), and leave off the pursuit of enlightenment. Cessation of volitive action, at least of the body (and in particular with respect to inhalation and exhalation), appears to have been one of the elements of his way of mindfulness. That requires surrendering agency to a point that invokes the suffocation response, and an anxiety associated with the precariousness of posture. These things require a person to relax and keep calm, as the ground gives way beneath them. Maybe this is the something of the highjacking you refer to, Bindi, but as you can see I am looking to find these factors with respect to inhalation and exhalation, and the action of the body. My thoughts--I must make peace with them, to turn to cessation. Finding the place where I am and the way at this moment is not the same as choosing to ignore some undercurrent of personality. At least, not in my experience. Get real, that's what's entailed, get real and unsupported by any action of your own, in physical space. In the hall today there certainly are people who are losing their bodies and their lives. (attributed to Ch’ang Ch’ing, "The Blue Cliff Record", tr. Cleary & Cleary, p 144)

battery backup no fire shadows/candle glow call it like it is

“As to this... right view comes first. And how... does right view come first? If one comprehends that wrong purpose is wrong purpose and comprehends that right purpose is right purpose, that is... right view. And what... is wrong purpose? Purpose for sense-pleasures, purpose for ill-will, purpose for harming. This... is wrong purpose. And what... is right purpose? Now I... say that right purpose is twofold. There is... the right purpose that has cankers, is on the side of merit, and ripens unto cleaving (to new birth). There is... the right purpose which is [noble], cankerless, supermundane, a factor of the Way. And what... is the purpose which is on the side of merit, and ripens unto cleaving? Purpose for renunciation, purpose for non-ill-will, purpose for non-harming. This... is right purpose that... ripens unto cleaving. And what... is the right purpose that is [noble], cankerless, supermundane, a component of the Way? Whatever... is reasoning, initial thought, purpose, an activity of speech through the complete focusing and application of the mind in one who, by developing the [noble] Way, is of [noble] thought, of cankerless thought, and is conversant with the [noble] Way–this... is right purpose that is [noble], cankerless, supermundane, a component of the Way.” (MN III 71-78, Vol III pg 113-121) Gautama the Shakyan taught in that manner frequently. If you weren't already established in "the [noble] way", you were stuck with something that "ripens unto cleaving". But I think it's clear that being moral because it's the good and meritorious thing to do was a path leading to attachment ("cleaving"), and to suffering. There was another way, according to the Gautamid. "Let not the left hand know what the right hand does", isn't that the way it goes?

Will it go 'round in circles? Will it fly high like a bird up in the sky? Will it go 'round in circles? Will it fly high like a bird up in the sky? Billy Preston I've got a mind that wants to make sense, like crazy. Aren't we having fun (thanks, stirling for the appreciation). If I'm suffering, then I think Gautama the Shakyan was right, my suffering is a consequence of what I will, what I intend to do, or of my deliberation. The will or intention leads to a sticking of consciousness, to a stationing of consciousness, and to a grasping after agency with respect to body, feelings, mind, habitual tendencies, or consciousness. The cessation of will, of intention, of deliberation is the cessation of grasping, of the suffering associated with grasping after agency. The path can be "... to learn who uses the eyes, ears, nose, tongue, and body and moves the hands and feet." Maybe include who uses the mind. Might be clearer just to speak in terms of consciousness arising from contact between sense organ and sense object, impact based on contact, and feeling, as Gautama does in one of his explanations of the eight-fold path, but I have a hard time arriving at that. I tend to focus on unstationed consciousness as placed by the senses (and what lies beyond the senses) in the movement of breath. If you do any seated or even standing meditation in the morning, you may see why I’m referring to the practice as “waking up and falling asleep”. In waking up, I am looking to relinquish my activity, and allow the place of mind to generate activity out of the stretch I find myself in. I have a description of the translations of motion in the lotus, yet in the end I am convinced that everything I need to know I learn by being where I am, as I am. I just have to be open to it. (my response to humbleone here on Dao Bums, a long time ago)

I think "spirit", like the Greek "pneuma", is generally associated with the breath.

Aye, there's the rub. I can sit down, and if my life is on an even keel, I can arrive at the cessation of volition in "in-breathing" and "out-breathing". That's the cessation of "determinate thought" in action of the body, but as I've pointed out, I'm not stopping the action of the body or necessarily being still physically. The means is actualizing the fundamental point, by remaining as the mind that is present without abode (as the Diamond Sutra says)--being here. The means is actualizing the fundamental point, by being "as if the body is the whole universe" (Omori Sogen), finding the way at this moment. The means is not always apparent, and yet may be actualized immediately, as in "to learn who... moves the hands and feet": "Learning means to learn the origins of joy, anger, sorrow, and pleasure and to learn who uses the eyes, ears, nose, tongue, and body and moves the hands and feet." (Hakuin, "Neboke no Mezamashi", as related by Omori Sogen in "An Introduction to Zen Training", p 62) More on seated meditation, from "An Introduction to Zen Training" and other sources, here.

The "here" is the location of self-awareness. Unless a person has damaged the organs involved in locating awareness, they perceive the awareness identified with consciousness to be at a singular location in space (perceiving oneself to be in two places in space simultaneously is called "heautoscopy", very rare in the medical annals). The "now" part, in my experience, is really an enfolding of the senses and what lies beyond the senses in the here, a continuous incorporation. "People who are moving around outside all sit with you", said Kobun: "They don’t take the sitting posture!" Dogen said: When you find your place where you are, practice occurs, actualizing the fundamental point. When you find your way at this moment, practice occurs, actualizing the fundamental point… Although actualized immediately, the inconceivable may not be apparent. (“Genjo Koan”, Dogen; tr. Robert Aitken and Kazuaki Tanahashi.) So that's the here (the place where I am) and the now (informing the place where I am), and one more thing (along the lines of "seated meditation is not holding still"). Ji, chi, shen. Father, son, holy spirit. Something like that? Les’see: leaves and stem, root, … ?

Ok--that last is not quite true. I realized after I wrote this that I was actually discovering a correlation between flexion and extension around L5 and L4 and activity in the abdominals, particularly in the internal obliques, before I suffered the sprain (I'm thinking it is) around L3. Particularly on the dance floor, I could find the stretch in the sacrotuberous ligaments and feel an ensuing strength in the lower abdomen--it caused (causes) my knees to bend, alternately, as the weight shifted from side to side. Funny story. One night there was a gentleman of Chinese descent (I think it was) out on the dance floor at my local Pomo casino, where the cover bands are free on the weekend. The guy had a lower abdomen strength that I could feel, but no one else seemed to notice. He had very limited English, but he smiled a lot, and he told me the knees should come up as I danced--he was very forward, coming up to me and speaking, pointing to my knees. Well, my knees did start to come up, when I found that stretch in the sacrotuberous. I was already aware of that connection, and looking for it when I danced, but it was interesting that he thought it was important. He made me laugh. He disappeared from the dance floor, and the rancheria. Months later I found out that he was also very forward in attempting to dance with a number of women on the dance floor, and got himself 86'd from the casino. Anyway, I'm grateful now to focus a lot on flexion and extension between T12 and L1. I think this is going to be a long haul for me, because the activity in the abdominals generated in connection with this flexion and extension is in the upper abdomen, and my posture has always reflected the fact that I am weak in this coordination. Here's a good illustration of the stretch of ligaments (ilio-tibial tract, attachments of gluts at tract and sacrum, attachments of tensors at tract and pubic bones) in the lower body effecting stretch at the ligaments along the spine (and behind the spine), with a return of energy to the lower dan-tien--at least, that's what the illustration is about, in my estimation: (From "The Secret of the Golden Flower", now dated somewhere between 1668 and 1692)

I think that roughly corresponds with "gain it, see it, hear it"--backward from the way things actually progress. I mentioned to friends yesterday that I finally have a work-around for what I believe is an injury to ligaments around L3. The work-around involves relaxing the abdominals that correspond with flexion/extension that I pick up at T12-L1. Seems to keep the pain out of my legs and knees. The trick is that I have to relax the muscles to continue to feel the flexion and extension, and I have to feel and calm the flexion and extension to let the activity of the muscles take place autonomically, as it were. Comes a moment when I must rest with the location of self-awareness, and let the location of self-awareness lead the balance. Then it's a matter of staying awake to the location of self-awareness, nothing else. Breath and the balance/activity of the spine (Nerfertiti and Isis?): Sacrum and the lowest three vertebrae, a balance upward guided by the goddesses Isis and Nepthys whose weight rests on the sacrotuberous ligaments of the pelvis, activity in the abdominals, consciousness under the diaphragm. The god Hapi on both sides, the ilio-lumbar ligaments in two sets--one horizontal between the pelvis and L5 stretching in extension, the other vertical between the pelvis and L4, stretching in flexion. Feet of the god on the sacrum, consciousness free: (Had to correct the flexion/extension correlation, apologies--not something I feel often, more's the pity)

"The practicing Christians I've known accepted that they were helpless sinners and could do no right, but when they let Jesus into their hearts, Jesus could." (yours truly, above) It's not that the folks I knew refined their hearts, or that they lived "under Christ". I think whether or not Jesus died to wash away their sins and permit them entrance into heaven (Jesus the Christ) was not so much on their minds, more the immediate fact that the choices they made always turned out wrong, but if they gave it up to Jesus things went right. Time after time. Very much a twelve-step approach, if I understand correctly (my knowledge of twelve-step is from the outside, I've not been an active participant). You realize you are helpless to do the right thing, the healthy thing mentally and physically, and you seek help from above. Curiously, I think there's general agreement that a person has to go through a very deep personal and emotional crisis, before they can succeed in experiencing action without their own personal agency. Just to be clear about what I was saying. What language are you translating from?--just curious!

The practicing Christians I've known accepted that they were helpless sinners and could do no right, but when they let Jesus into their hearts, Jesus could. Not so different from discovering that action can take place in the absence of volition, and that such action is coincident with things that are happening on the other side of town or maybe with things that haven't happened yet, so that the action still seems positive after the fact--it stands the test of time, so to speak. Acting on the basis of right and wrong, eating the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil, a helpless sinner even when all the commandments are kept. Climbing off the top of a 100-foot pole, reaching the top of the mountain and continuing to climb--how to find action in the absence of volition. And maybe keeping the helpless sinner in sight, painful as that might be, until a surrender takes place and Jesus comes into one's heart?

I attended a few of Kobun Chino Otogawa's lectures in the '70's, at the Santa Cruz Zen Center. In the '80's, I heard him say this at the close of a talk at the SF Zen Center: You know, sometimes zazen gets up and walks around. I think there was a kind of admonishment in this, letting the folks in his audience (many of whom were residents at SF Zen Center) know that zazen is not really about holding still. It's about discovering action of the body that takes place without "determinate thought", without habit or volition. And that action can sometimes get up and walk around. It’s impossible to teach the meaning of sitting. You won’t believe it. Not because I say something wrong, but until you experience it and confirm it by yourself, you cannot believe it. (Kobun, “Embracing Mind”, edited by Cosgrove & Hall, pg 48) But despite decades of research on its therapeutic value and a growing understanding of its mechanism in the brain, the uptake of clinical hypnosis has been remarkably slow. Much of that is down to the common misconception that hypnosis is little more than a stage magician's trick. (https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20220519-does-hypnosis-work) I played with hypnosis a bit in high school. I think the zazen that gets up and walks around is a function of the senses wrapped up in the location of self-awareness with any given movement of breath, but there is a cessation of volitive activity (without necessarily a cessation of action) much like hypnosis. The mystery is that sometimes the action of zazen is coincident with things that are happening on the other side of town, or maybe with things that haven't happened yet. Discovering that this was so made me want to stick with the action of zazen all the time, but as I understand it now the place where that action comes from is more naturally just touched on in the rhythm of mindfulness. Set up regularly in seated meditation, then touched on at intervals in the course of daily life.

Navajo is a "verb-heavy" language – it has a great preponderance of verbs but relatively few nouns. ... Navajo has no words that would correspond to adjectives in English grammar: verbs provide the adjectival functionality. (Wikipedia, "Navajo Grammer") The Way does nothing, and yet nothing remains unaccomplished. (wuwei er wu buwei) (Daodejing, Matt Stefon for Encyclopedia Brittanica) If you're studying seated meditation, meditation is not sitting still. If you're studying seated Buddha, Buddha is no fixed mark. ("Lancet of Seated Meditation", Dogen, quote attributed to Great Master Hung-tao of Yueh shan, tr. Carl Bielefeldt "Dogen's Manuals of Zen Meditation" 1st ed) "And again, Ananda, (a person), not attending to the perception of the plane of no-thing, not attending to the perception of the plane of neither-perception-nor-non-perception, attends to solitude grounded on the concentration of mind that is signless. His mind is satisfied with ... and freed in the concentration of mind that is signless." (Majjhima Nikaya, Pali Text Society Vol III p 150) Seated meditation is not holding still: ... what about the strange sensation that your body is doing things of its own accord? (The Medical Power of Hypnosis, BBC)