Non

my professor told me I am very yin. I was sad after hearing this.. and angry. He told me.. it doesn't have to be bad. Thjat people like me are just providing a different perspective. People will say "qi is yang" but I will say "qi is yin". He told me that if I make use of my yin-ness I can become very powerful. I thought... yin just means that I am imbalanced.. or weak, or I have a disease which makes me yin. He said... that's in my head. Now I still think that is succumbing to what is imbalanced. Is that my constitution for my whole life? Is my whole life supposed to entail seeking balance for my yin, because isn't that what all people do? But I know.. it seems yin males are quite rare, and especially women liking yin men even moreso.

I might agree with that. I guess I see it like this: when I get angry I don't want to direct towards people because I feel like it might temporarily solve a problem but it won't completely. Other people can just not care and direct anger towards people attempt to control, etc. But me I'm usually set up with more resistance. So I need to take educated action. I may be ADD though sometimes so mabe that's why I'm not so witty. Usually though in the face of such an emotion as anger I tense up uncontrollably ready to lash out. Should I? Or should I try and control myself, or would I look weaker? Yea I usually feel like lashing out because the other person is making me look weak, but lashing out would make me even worse... so what happens? I end up the little bitch. But one day when I get the strong heart and strong mind, and learn to defend myself against such psychic attacks WITH LOVE, yet not taking "shit", then I would be stronger than a person who just directs anger towards people. Or at least it would be some kind of skill that is different. Unconventional. When someone verbally or psychically attacks me I don't know how to react to that thing. Or an insult etc. I try to be objective though and I usually end up taking the piss and being really tense. What do I do with it? I punch walls until my hands bleed and I have bruises or a break something. Cause what the hell, why fight? Why cant I just diffuse it? Maybe I'm just not able to handle such things without violence? It's smarter to handle these things without violence. In a more primitive era I cuold have just bashed in someone's head but now? I have to have verbal wit. I have to see things objectively and clearly (but my mental state has been retarded and slow somewhat). Then people just think I'm weak when maybe I'm just mentally inept or something. Or I might have different beleifs, and I want to be more defensive than offensive. I don't know. All I know is that all my life I've never made fun of someone. I've always been the one being made fun of, and insulted. I never called anyone names. OK,maybe that has been a bit different since I start takling about women. but in the end I am always sorry, and I regret it and try to make amends. I always want to give respect, even to my enemies. Others are just like "forget that". I know how it feels to get thebad end of the stick. So I try my best notto do it to others. Maybe I'm just not understanding their situation. Maybe they're really just not agreeing with me, or angry with me. maybe I'm just doing something wrong. I'm always looking at myself. Even so if it's just me (and it's "Always?" me isn't it?) why must they insult me, or get offensive, or betray me and disrespect me? Others would say "hell no, I would get up in their face. Maybe I dont have the balls? Think about it though. Are you sure? I have balls, physically anyways... andI do have balls for some things,just others not. Like this kind of stuff. Maybe it's a zang fu organ dysfunction, maybe it's just inexperience. I need to get hurt more, suffer more. Until I say "IM NOT AKING IT ANYMORE". Maybe I need to take up some leader role, and manage people. Tell them what to do, and earn how to atempt to control people... before I can contorl myslf? I can defend myself sure... but to be on the offense. Especialyl when I feel like people should know already. It's too trivial and stupid to care about but guess what, in the end, I'm judged as weak. By EVERYONE. I might not care myself, but in the end, I have to defend some stupid 'reputation'. Especially shen? (I dunno if that was a Freud slip, but Im leaving it there). ESPECIALLY when it comes to woman. She will judge you as non-alpha, alpha, etc. It's just such BS. I know what I am. But then women determine who you are because in the end they are the ones to withdraw their care, and I end up alone. When I need to defend myself, physically.. I like to think I can do that. But when it comes to thnigs like a "reputation", whatever... it's just unecessary. Disrespect, is just dumb. What, so a person appears weak? What so a person appears like he's havin trouble. Whenyou see a crippled person do you laugh at him, and make him feel stupid about it? Do you want to know why I dont say or "do" anythni about it? maybe it's because I get too angry. Maybe it's because I could just go crazy. What if I could kill? Do you want me to go crazy? You don't. Maybe I'll just stumble over myself in the attempt. OK, so I'm taking the piss for you. And for me. and it hurts. Becaue I dont know hwo to handle the infernal energies inside me. To defend my "stupid fcking reputation". For OTHERS to like me. Or maybe I'm just too stupid or careless to know why I should be more aggressive in that I need to unecessary hurt others as well as myself. Do I need to go ordering poeple around, telling them what to do? am I just bein irresposible and lazy? OK im done with this post. Sorry for the rant and crazy speak. - yinner than you

Actually Dorian Black I consider you quite yang. Any sign of positivity is a yang feature. Yin people have more of a tendency to be negative while yang have more of a tendency to be positive. You may be yin, or somewhat yin, but I may be more yinner than you are. You might actually be quite balanced somewhat. A yin within yang or something. Maybe there is somethinglike the tri-dosha system in TCM. Kinda like how there is a difference between kapha-pitta and pitta-kapha and not having anything to do with gender.

Me neither.

So here we are... a sychronicity I had today with someone. He's started not drinking this week, and he said today "everytime I try to quit something bad happens to try to make me go back to it again, see how KARMA works? The devil is out there, watch out for him!" Something out of his control.. something that shouldn't normally happen. Something like a "why me, why am *I* always a target, why does trouble follow me and I don't even ask for it, why am I the special case?" etc. I told him "there's no devil, it's is just karma, you're right about that. It's trying to make you see something you need to integrate in yourself,it's challenging you. It'll keep coming back until you face it." And even if it is a "devil" it's better that he doesn't see it that way so he can feel he can take responsibility right? Well.. I just thought it was a synch. I myself have my own "baggage/karmas" I have to work through.

If you can polyphasic sleep that would be good. On a Forshang BUddhist website http://www.forshang.org/ there is an article that says whyit's actually more healthy to sleep 5-7 hrs (of course it can also depend on requirement). Generally a person who is not in a sleep deficit is probably better doing 5-7 hrs of sleep a night than 8. THe article then says that aside from that it may actually be even better to sleep twice a day of 2-4 hrs. It explains it's better for the cardiovascular system. You'll haveto find it. edit: here it is http://www.forshang.org/020PowerSleep/e.htm There might be another article though that I missed.

I am totally ignorant in general of the menstrual cycles of woman and their general connection to the moon and the heavens. Is there something that a man can learn of them that can bring a greater understanding of woman and relations with women? I feel it is something that perhaps should be learned by all men, and none should be left out. Women are quite complex and if you approach them at the wrong time, they can flip out on you or disregard you at a whim. They can also be very accepting of you if you approach them at the right time. You also have to be the right TYPE at the right time. You also have to be aware of their cycles so you can avoid them when they are not 'in the mood', for you, etc. What of the woman who can actually stop their periods through abstinence, their diet, or spiritual excercises then? Are they exempt from this? Are they different? I feel a certain number of men are at a loss because of the ignorance. Studies have shown that woman are attracted to bad boys, and sinister, non-monogamous and violent types during ovulation, and then the more serious, good guys away from ovulation. Studies show their receptiveness changes during certain parts of the month to different types of men. They can also wear diferent types of clothing influenced by how they are affected by their cycles. Studies also show that men who "acheive" a sexual experience will then subconsciously seek that again. The mammalian brain will seek it subconsciously as a reward, their dopamine response leads them. SO what of the male who has never had the "experience", is he left in the dark? The men who are not closely associated with many women, or have had many sexual experiences, etc. The one's less "in tune" are usually seen as less manly, and vice versa, less in connection with nature, etc. But this doesn't mean they are bad... regardless of how they might affect a woman during different times of the month. Regardless of how women respond to them. In this way it makes women look unconscious, like machines. but in reality, the mammalian brain and the bodily mechanism do greatly filter what is experienced.

i guess I'll have to just buy the book one of these days.

also, I never got around to finding exactly WHERE he has the technique or method to actually click the amygdala forward. I kinda thought it was just imagining a feather tickling the area forward until it fills up with all this momentum and and critical mass that it just ends up clicking.

Ive tried so hard to click my amygdala a number of times. Perhaps I just needed more consistency and just more practice. I think I've gotten some effects similar to clicking but I never felt a "click" or a "pop". more like being able to will adrenaline and exciting feelings rising to my head from my lower spine (conracting sorta). It isn't that much either because I'm working on that one... It can be exhausting. Usually if I have a motive to make me feel adrenaline that works.. as to the happy feelings I'd have to associate the rush with that. Also just smiling makes me feel better.

btw if it seems like everything you guys are saying goes in one ear and out the other, I understand. I'm going to make a point to read every single post on every one of my threads I've made that I've missed because of scheduling and time issues. In about a couple weeks when I have more free time. Regards oh yea ps: im not going to deny that I did prefer to read some with ease but others not.

btw if it seems like everything you guys are saying goes in one ear and out the other, I understand. I'm going to make a point to read every single post on every one of my threads I've made that I've missed because of scheduling and time issues. In about a couple weeks when I have more free time. REgards oh yea ps: im not going to deny that I did prefer to read some with ease but others not.

see.. I thought ALL EGO was wrong, ie not good. To have a self is different though, but ultimately identifying oneself with the worldly self is wrong. EGO I thogh were the negative effects of wrongly identifying the true self with the worldly self.

isit really so odd or is it more of a consequence of being let down by women over and over again that we can't just take them serious anymore? I'm sorry but you know.. I can't help myself but to not trust women anymore it seems.

"Because the world doesn't tick the way you want it to?" not just that, but the opposite to the extreme in a most brutal and heart torturing fashion at that.

sorry all. I'll have to read many of the missed posts on this thread later. It's too much right now.

So what if faking it is taken to be "the real you"? You see a lot of guys faking it.. and people are fine with it.

See now that is messed up. And they have to correlate it with the faces? They're making women seem like it's all about looks now and only about looks. So just look madder and you'll get more women. Look more at peace, you'll get nothing. This makes me think more of suicide. I'm telling you, it's fucked up.

I figured out how I can really make belly breathing effective. It gives me lots of energy. Instead of breathing into the dan-tien, I breathe FROM the dan-tien. Specifically before intentionally starting a breath, I just push out my abdomen and the breath naturally follows, and just before I breathe out I intentionally push out my abdomen again which breathes in a little more air to really fill up the lungs and dantien use the momentum to breathe out while still retaining the energy I got from the breath. My guess is it uses the kidneys to receive the qi. This strengthens the kidney and also descends qi into the kidney. The kidneys receive the qi from the lungs, and provide the foudnations for the lung to descend the qi from the air we breathe.

Well it's comments like yours that just don't help at all.

What? That sux. So then why in the book it mentions concrete is a good place? Oh well. I'll have to stand my ground then and do it in the grass.

so.. nowadays Ive been grounding in the morning arond 2-4 am for 30 mins because I found a spot nearby. But it's more like a cement spot. Is this good enough? Its the same that the sidewalks here are made of.. kind of white-ish but this one isn't painted. More like the doorsteps behind a business in the back of a plaza. It's gated and fenced, the ground there hasa lot of rubble. I cd also go in the back of my apartment complex where there's grass but sometimes Im afraid ppl would be watching me as I do standing meditation and qigong. Is it better to practice on grass or on dirt?

Like a videogame huh? It seems so fuckin childish and stupid at times. Immatre. How can the universe be so dumb and careless? This post is more positive. I like. Thanks.

i sometimes (or most of the time) expect nothing but negative things because that's what I've learned becomes of my "positivity".

well smtimes you are rather disempowering than helpful...but i can generally agree with your assessment as being inline with my own cynicism.