Non

Hm yes.. chanting. I chant everyday now. I bet throat singing/overtone singing/harmonic chanting is a good practice too.

Well.. as a man. I feel quite bad about approaching women as it may seem too forward. In fact even simple things. most women around here are very closed off and give you, or at least me a closed off look. They appear to be very unapproachable and even disregard me as a person it seems.. like, they ignore me... or like I'm just a nobody, even when I try to say something. For a guy like me it wold seem better if the woman approached me. It just seems right since.. I'm not going to try and force myself on a woman, or co-erce her, or even try to seduce her into submitting like other guys do. no.. that's dangerous. But then again 'alpha males' can do it, or model guys. In fact they can have the harshest personalities, or be criminals and it's fair game. It's about dominance not virtue. That's Manliness. The woman is not as scary to men (obviously). But men can be any number of things, heck they can be rapists, serial killers, robbers, thugs, etc. That's why women do close themselves off. They all learned when they were young to be cold with beta males who just wanted to hold their hands (like only a creep would). So in fact, any kind of real loving feelings is deemed creepy too. So you must be as cool and indifferent as possible right? Heck, be casual. Want casual sex, and act like a player, at least at first. Because you're promiscuous until you've had a good f*ck so you can have a serial monogamist/linear polygamist relationship. She'll do the same (it seems most would). There's no such thing as love. If you believe in love you're a creep. So.. I don't approach them, for fear of scaring them off. But then again there are girls that think you should be aggressive and dominant and such. To me it seems the way the game is set up.. is that a man HAS to be aggressive, not assertive (that's like intangible in this world), in approaching a woman, or to initiate something. It seems forceful. But then again it's also because most women don't do the approaching and expect the man to. Most women wouldn't see the reason why I dont approach them they'll just figure I'm too weak/beta. Or I'm just a creep waiting to capture them. Don't most women want to be swept off their feet, for us to captivate her/capture her attention. Seduce? Sigh.. there's a fine line. There's too much associations with sex and violence. Our ancestors used to (well still do) kill each other and war each other for women, and the women expect the man to chase her. Plus.. I don't know who she is. She'll probably break my heart, and make a fool of me, is a hoodrat. Been around the block, perhaps every man in the room knows her too well. She's the sweetheart of the month of some other guy(s). Who knows... So because it would seem like I am trying to dominate her, I don't approach her, and in fact I even try to make it so that I dont talk unless it's necessary. Out of "respect".. since it seems guys have to be aggressive in approaching her. But then again girls have been taught to be cold with men and have a shield to either 1. weed out the unconfident men/beta males and be super selective 2. to protect themselves if they ever need to. or 3. they're just immune to anything she deems "unworhty" or "lowly" or "unpopular" or "unextravagant", etc. because anyway every beautiful woman has come across hundreds of guys, and trust me even the most harsh of men, the richest most brutally dominant men you would ever know that would make any man cringe at the thought of seducing her. I'm sorry.... sick world. I know this was harsh. I know.. but nobody likes to think of these things or speak about them. Maybe it's because they dont have a problem, because they've all turned into the good 'badboy' women want. How can women expect us to be good and bad at the same time?

You're just talking about the self imposed prison. What about a real prison matrix set up by powers that be, which are of course beyond your physical control? You can't just live in your mind all the time.. well you can but chances are, if you're not at that level you have to stick with learning how to within the confines of physicality, unless you go OBE or can completely dissociate from your body. Sometimes there is no physical way. All this "it's in your mind" bs really is just in your mind. One foot in one foot out. We have to be balanced.

A tiger only gets sex when he/she wants it, and with no attachments right? Well I'm pretty sure that if you could not get sex even when you wanted to you would feel lonely. I know I would. In fact it seems that would be the only reason why I'd feel lonely sometimes. Maybe you wouldn't care. What if you were a virgin at the age of 35 and couldn't get any woman? I'm pretty sure that would make you feel lonely. A virgin at 24 and can't get a woman? I'm pretty sure you would feel lonely and frustrated. Couldn't even make friends, when you wanted. Couldn't even socialize with any woman because well... they all reject you no matter what, even before you start talking to any they all look you down. You might feel a bit lonely. Solitude is when you choose to be lonely. When you're ok with it. Not when you're sick (physiologically) of it. It's a very physical need for bodily health. If you don't think so then look at the trouble people have with SEX everyday. Sure you could live alone, but sex, now that's another thing. Im a yang fire tiger.. As a tiger, you might just need less contact with others and prefer less contact with others. But you still desire at least the minimum. If you don't get that minimum you'll probably desire it a lot more. You want to choose when you want to have someone, and when to not, not have it "dictate" you. Or distract you. Would you truly be happy to be absolutely alone your entire life? How about if you come across daily many beautiful women, and you cannot even socialize with any one of them. It just annoys you. You're like a tied up horse and they want to burn you from behind but can't move. They all reject you, without pity or concern. In fact most of them don't even know they do, or it's just unconscious to them. In fact it may even be unconscious to them why they are attracted to others and not you. In fact they may disregard you as some nothing, no matter what you do. No matter what. You'd feel alone.

well mantak chia doesn't say to squeeze the pc muscle when doing the cool draw. He just says to lift up the muscles..

Yes but what if you are doing what you're supposed to and still don't get what is supposed to be a natural consequence?

Thanks. My problem is that, to lift the testicles it requires that I tuck in and up my lower abdomen. Mantak Chia doesn't say this. In fact, my perineum and anus cannot really be lifted up, it's my lower abdomen that does. That's what causes a lifting of my testicles. But if this is the case, then it seems more liek the jing would go from my testicles up to my dantien, and not back into my tailbone. If that makes sense to you./ can anyone help me on this?

so where can I learn these techniques? Are they all from Cultivating Male Sexual Vitality by Mantak Chia

Actually the reason I wanted to practice celibacy was to Get Over the negativity involved with having to live with being a virgin at 24 years old, being a severely repressed individual without it having a negative affect on me and my body, to transmute the sexual energies and learn to control them so I don't become a freakin creep, etc. etc. Basically to get over my inability to have a sex life... so I can get on with living normally until I can have a proper sex/love life. It just so happens that energetics can be enhanced from celibacy, and perhaps I should be going through a period of celibacy anyway. And learning that sex is not just something to "fuck" with. For me celibacy at this point really just means not masturbating and having excessive passion and frustration which can tip me over since I really don't even have opportunities with women. All this is actually meant/supposed to help me get better with women and myself, a character development.

Yea, unfortunately the breaking the heart thing is a big trend among the society and in fact it's seen as normal such that it should be pushed into everyone else's reality, and also made to seem like it's the most macho thing to go through, the best way to be, etc. Kinda masochistic. Like that one quote "you only know you have a heart until it's broken".

I dont know but reuniting.info has a different story for orgasm as opposed to karezza, even of the 'whole body type' that Mantak Chia talks about.

Does anyone here have the ability to just make the whole body unbearably tingle at will? The above is the title of a thread I recently found and read through. It's really interesting that there are people that can do this. I'm interested myself in learning to do this. Perhaps there are some people that are either born with genetics or something that make it easier for them to do it, or it makes it automatic, and for others it takes some practice and learning. Some of these people have been able to do it since they were a child and of course as a child one is usually more aware of their spiritual nature than many adults can be. If someone has spinal damage, or nerve damage, even neurological damage I wonder if this would inhibit it? I would imagine it can be activated when a person practices if you can perhaps trace awareness up and down the spine and feel it tingle in every spot, until you get to a critical mass point, and perhaps associate it with full body orgasm. It also causes adrenaline to pump. Some say though that it happens through hyper-relaxation rather than trying to induce it by tense force, though I'm not sure of this. If you ever get chills down your spine listening to music, or watching a movie, this is probably it, except a person with the ability knows how to do this at will, or with some proficiency can keep it going until exhaustion. I want to learn this.. it's probably a key to the internal climax as well.

only to find out that it's what I needed for the integrative functions of my own body and soul. Do you see why I may "seem" so obsessed? BUt I get what you mean. Nothing should be obsessed about no matter what.

and just how do you learn sexual alchemy? Everything is shrouded in lies. What's a good source?

It's hard to have faith when you seem to be doing everything right, but it's up to another to accept you for who you are, you can't decide for him/her.

I think wanting is a different story. Needing is when you cannot live without the other person in the sense that you depend on the person, you would be deprived without the person and physically could not stand it, not have the resources. Though true love can also be described as feeling like not being able to live without the person, but that's more in the philosophical sense, and it doesn't necessarily mean that you'd be deprived if the person left. Since true love is unconditional.

Everything's not always self esteem issues. It can be issues with esteem in others.

You never said the author. Namkhai Norbu?

yea no there aren't any women that care to be in my presence so that isn't an option. any new ones too. in fact it's all predetermined it seems that they all will avoid me for some reason like I'm unfit for anything, for any feminine presence. not even Goddess.

Yes but breathing can facilitate things. One can learn to not rely on breath for movement of energy or taking in/pushing out energy. The point is, during all the movements of T5T there are certain energetic movements they are supposed to facilitate. What does each and every move do? Can you say that for every qigong that's out there you know what each and every movement, breath, mindstate, look, etc. is supposed to do? How exactly it's supposed to facilitate the energy's (and type of) movement? Not really. But all that's important and it might have been lost, because all these methods have been either covered up, or hidden from the rest of society for some grand reason that all we get are incomplete exercises that we must decipher on our own. Many of the results from people might even be self created, or co-created. If we are doing any energetic exercise we must know what is the purpose of each exercise down to it's finer details, otherwise it's just empty movement and physical exercise. If that's the case then just don't do any exercise at all and just do it all in sitting meditation. If you have mastered the body, and are master you can probably do it without the body becoming sedentary... edit: Of course not every detail is known, since much of these exercises have been developed on intuition alone. Many with primitive understanding.

ive tried microcosmic orbiting. It just doesn't work. For the time being the only thing that makes the irritation in my subconscious mind or organ go away is any other focus. But it's still running in the background. the 6th tibetan rite doesn't work. Nothing works. It still comes back. Loneliness is probably a factor, especially the type that isn't sexual at all, but still craves a feminine presence... as too much male presence is not good for me as it already has been. But I'm always in a state of lack, and since I'm in a state of lack, to seek it would only put a temporary cap on it, but the explosion is still waiting underneath and ends up never really doing anything because I'll just get more lack. I know my spirit is beyond all of this, but my physical body has not been. Do I need to spend countless hours meditating? only to be brought back to the body before it has gotten to change it's desires, or reprogram, or recondition itself to withstand celibacy for great periods of time? or is dual cultivation the only way? I've got a life, and normal sexuality just doesn't cut it for me. It always creates more lack, and instability. It always comes from lack and longing.

I guess it's conflicting desires. A part of me thinks that since I'm a virgin and never had a relationship, I shouldn't throw away any slight chance or opportunity, so if I happen to run across that in my goal of 3 months no orgasm, no mini orgasm, no nothing (except for the kundalini type which Im hoping for) I should take the chance. I dont want to kill my sexuality such that any woman will not like me because I am showing to be "asexual" or something else. At the same time I do want the benefits, and I know there are benefits to not orgasming. In fact even if I did find a woman I would want to just practice tantra or karezza and not ejaculate. I fear what passionate sex and ejaculation would do to the both of us, and make us into animals again caught in a coolidge effect, breaking my heart and then ending up alone again. Also having to deal with depletion and instability. At thje same time I think approaching sexuality in this way means that the "game of attraction" changes, or that the rituals practiced to change a mate is different. Ie, that Im not to be too aggressive, and passionate, etc. but that may also mean that women will misinterpret me or think I'm just weird.

Society can make you feel lonely. Some say that it's not good for man to be alone. What if you were born alone? Lived alone all your life, and have no concept of what being alone is? The media can make us feel lonely, by rubbing in our faces the solitude condition and associating it with negativity, negative images. Rubbing in our faces in complete disregard, unconscious disrepect when they have it all, people connected doing things for each other. People and science can say that we're not meant to be alone, that we are social. Then you start to believe you are going crazy, do not know how to socialize, etc. Some people believe we're not social but communal. One thing is for sure, if you live in a society that is always throwing at you overstimulating images, sex, lust, etc. it CAN be taxing on the nerves to always be in the presence of this just as long as you're exposed to it and you dont know how to deal with it.The human has never been this stimulated in our ancient history. Everything is going so fast, we do our best to keep up. But now what do you see on TV? SEX SEX SEX. Not only SEX but, of the pornographic type, the erratic type of sex. Catching you in a dopamine cycle, the happiness trap. We have the physical organs, they're all meant for something aren't they? If we didn't have them how would you feel? If we had no mirrors to observe ourselves with would you prefer this? We depend on Earth. We depend on Life. We depend on dependence. Passion, which is based on lack. Based on pain. On longing. This is the 'romantic love'. What of companionate love, or even consumate which has both passion and companionate love? But companionate love is the base, too much passion can surely tax the nerves, and deplete resources. What of karezza, and tantra, we dont see THAT in movies, or in pornography or in our media. The whole society runs on this fear based sexuality and familiarity. We don't love, we must "fall in love", at least in the west. There's no family obligations anymore. There's no tribe to keep stable, no mutual dependence or interdependence. It's all just about money, make enough money and you can do whatever you please right? But true unconditional love is beyond that, money can't buy it. The industrial society is dismantling the family unit, and also the emotional. So yea, society can make you feel lonely. We're not all daoist monks, so there isn't that much of a community of daoists. That's a reason daoists choose to be in isolation much, never mind just to meditate and contemplate alone. Like I said, some people believe we are communal but not necessarily social beings, that are meant to live so damn close together. Then again the family unit is also important. Do you really think society is a community? It's not. We are all strange to each other. Strangers. So monks have no choice but to live in communities or in complete isolation. This can be lonely. I don't think the human body can actually live alone. We depend on each other physically for things, in interdependence, not codependence. Thats society not community. It's not natural. But, if you have been able to transcend complete loneliness by becoming God, if that's even believeable, well... maybe you can live alone all by your damn self. Good luck with that. Only thing I believe one can do in these harsh times is to rewire oneself if it's possible. Reprogram the natural condition, to be supernatural. But then the question then is like I said above, do YOU really want to be alone forever, even if you could stand it? Probably not. So you choose to be alone, when you want to, and when you want to be with someone, be with someone but be careful not to make your own trap of seeking it out of lack. Oops. Or just believe everyone damn needs someone, we're all human.

SO I read that the correct meditation posture is to keep the back straight. That's obvious. But how can the back become straight with the tailbone tucked in? It's probably easier if I just see it as my upper back being straightened, and lower back being tucked in, or curving in. Then I see people who do yoga meditation, as opposed to chinese meditation, and have a distinct lower back concave curve rather than convex as in chinese meditation. So which is right? I dont see the back being straight in either of these if the lower back is curved. UNless it's my scoliosis that's stopping me from meditating properly. I guess I can just stick to standing meditation. edit: actually standing meditation doesn't do jack for me. I guess I'll be unable to meditate for as long as I live with scoliosis problems.

mabo training helps I guess. I know from kung fu training somewhat how to have a straight back, I shd probably do it more often. With a candle. Move head in, chin tucked in slightly. Upper back straightened and tailbone tucked in. Trying to get the thighs parellel, and open as much as possible yet keeping the feet pointing forward as much as possible. When I see kung fu movies keeping the feet pointing forward is one thing I don't see often.