Non

well I know in MIchael Winn's Sexual Vitality Qigong this hand position is used in some of his qigong exercises to store the chi into the kidneys. Ie, one move has you breathe in raising your arms and opening from your chest as you come up, and towards the end the arms move toward a 90 degree angle as your palms facing forward and hands pointing up towards the end of the movement, with thumb and index finger making a dragon's claw, or opening into a 90 degree angle just like the arms. This movement is supposed to bring chi into the lungs, and the next movement after is supposed to store that chi into the kidneys, connecting the lungs with the kidneys as you do each movement consecutively. So after the inbreath you bring the arms back down, and bend over make the chin lock pointing toward the chest, looking down, as you bring your hands to the back to rest over the Kidneys in the same fist mudra you show, and of course breathing out pushing the chi from the lungs to the kidney area. So yea.. I'm guessing the mudra is some sort of lock. Just like anal sphincter closing, and chin lock. Bringing the thumbs inward and you may even feel it, as the thumbs are like an energetic extension and as you bring it in position it feels as if you're accumulating chi and not letting it drain out. retention.

because I can't get better at social interactions and with women and confidence without it! I feel weak, and am weak otherwise.

I've been confused as to the MCO and dan-tien storage practices. I read that when energy flows upwards from the reproductive organs higher into the body it's being transmuted. But the focusing on the dantien brings energy back down since it is in the lower torso and right above the reproductive organs, and is associated with them. I'm also sure I need to not deny or neglect my reproductive organs, I do need energy there too or else it will become blocked. So how does one get energy into the organs without having the body produce semen? Not that I would necessarily get aroused but I had the idea that whenever energy flows down it automatically gets converted into semen and that when it flows up it gets transmuted. Perhaps this is wrong thinking? Can transmuted energy still circulate the entire lower extremes of the body and not become deconverted?

I appreciate it. Actually. My friend says brahmacharya is not just about sex. It is about complete continence in everything. Ie passions, etc. All rooted in lust of course, but that's because all lust in life (for material things) is (said) to be rooted in sexual lust because the sexual energy is creative energy, jing is the essence the most densest form of energy in the body. So it means, not just abstaining from sexual thoughts, etc. That may provide a foundation, but it's better to go about it all at once, controlling all passions. To not waste energy and be negentropic in a way. Do things that in the end are worth more than the actions themselves, or that generate more energy than what you exerted to get there, or in the end will result in more energy. And to keep the mind on divine things, ie "brahman". A state of purity and continence. Mind on God all the time. Anyway.. that's how he put it.

Also.. what is considered sexual thought? The mere thought of ejaculating? or what if you just liked thinking about the smile of a woman or the pleasure of her caress? Is that also sexual thoughts? Some might say it is, but not enough to deconvert the jing as long as you keep your mind off of ejaculation. Others say it's sexual no matter what and is enough. well, it's even hard to think about any of that without getting a boner tbh. Especially with the devious look most women have.

I will. So perhaps it's the direction it goes up the back and front channels? Ie if it goes down from the coccyx it becomes deconverted into sexual energy?

I'm very much interested in the self empowerment "spiritual" development can bring. I think more about it than anything else. My father thinks it's just BS. And work and school and all else in my life doesn't help me. I feel like self empowerment is what I should be focusing on first before anything else, before school, etc. but then my father will think I'm not doing anything.. and I wont be making much money, and I'll be extremely lonely etc. and I might as well make the most of it while he's here for school in that he gives me a place to stay and helps me out. but I think he might disown me if I dont continue going to school. And I'm soooo lonely. I feel like abandoning all worldly things for now and just developing myself. If I continue without self development I'll be useless, unfocused, and hopeless. I feel like this is what I should be doing, butt he way this industrial society works is that people like me, and interested in the topics I am get very underplayed and become outcast, and it's hard to make a living. School doesn't teach anything about self development, I missed that as a kid. Education doesn't do jack for that. I've been slacking on my college studies in favor of spiritual practice and kung fu. Yet I find no way I can make a living for myself if I continue like this until maybe in the future when I got everything down, but now? It seems hopeless. My father thinks it's all BS. AARRRGHGH!!!!!! *throws around scattering papers and sits off in a corner*

I was taught, that fear is no good. For any reason, and serves no purpose other than what you make of it but should be abolished in the end.

I guess I also feel like I need spiritual development now and not later. I feel like we're running out of time. Perhaps in the future we will not be able, as society may collapse, etc. This is what I feel.

It's kinda hard too. The fact that I've never had successful communication with women in my entire life, not even on a friendship level (if that's even possible, or any good) . Or 'normal' 'male' level, whatever that means. So whereas most people who practice celibacy after they've already had a reasonable amount of "fun" or "love" in their lives, I haven't had any and I question my capability and humanity. So I guess it's been pretty hard.. and thinking that if I ever get an opportunity I should never waste it (BIG IF) because I may never get it again. Which I extremely highly doubt since i'm extremely shy when it comes to women and sexual topics and it kills me to no end such that I have no other passion for life, or motivation since I've severely lacked a childhood social life and 'sexual life'. again whatever that means. so I'm also pretty much social anxiety debilitated and uncomfortable in my own skin. ahhh too much info. and I'm so different and i'm weak so alone and i have different interests from everyone and i have no passion for life , EXTREME EXTREME EXTREME EXTREME EXTREME EXTREMEEXMTEREREMEMREMAWAE low self esteem and am asfr3ju3r dsjiokvndklsfsdklcv;d. So yea it drives me nuts.. if only I could kill all passion and desire. The only way I can turn away from it though is violently, and become bitter and disgusted. Resentful.

My friend tells me that all women get off on pain, that a woman does not get off until she feels pain, and that's the difference between guys, and what makes it so hard, and why women always go for the bad guy. In the end, bad guys win, good guys lose. They're all masochists, without even being aware of it, which also probably makes them sadists.

well if that's what you think about helping people, that means anyone who needs help is simply a vampire or parasite. kinda snobbish don't you think? it's like when people betray you when you're going through a rough time but then when things are going better in your life that's when they come to you for help, they just come when they want something from you. ok, if you say so. desperate people in need of help are more dangerous and brutal and actual serial killers and such.

I probably wouldn't even care that much about my loneliness, or lack of sex or female interaction if society or both men and women in general didn't have to make me feel bad for being alone. ie for instance making sex out to be like some kind of harsh competition where 20 percent of the men get 80 percent of the women and the rest get sloppy (and very sloppy) seconds or left overs. That, and that while there are a vast number of not so good men getting a majority of the good women while good men are left to be alone. It would also make me feel better if I was to be alone by choice. But, the fact is, the reason why I'm this way is because I have no other choice. It's involuntary, and I'm just trying to make the best of it, but retention practices are hard when you have all the above in mind, and that this society is not very conducive or helping. Sex is being thrown around, and a very brutish and hard sexual reality, where it's 'survival of the fittest' and every man for his/herself, and pretty much the only thing that attracts women is how violently aggressive or how much of a baddass you can display to be, or how Violently you can display to beat another male at something. What matters most though is the display just like apes attract attention by loud and proud displays and/or fronts. of course this is not to say that I wouldn't by my own choice choose to indulge in retention practices, but I would most likely make that choice on my own if I already felt kind of satisfied or fulfilled a normal domestic life. it is rather hard to start when you're really young and have not even lived life completely and are forced into it, and not because you have no choice due to some kind of disability of some sort but also due to simply that women 'do not find you fiercely attractive enough'. Which says quite a lot about one's manhood, and general biological well-being and of one's whole life, all the way down perhaps to the soul level. SO yea I feel like they've got me by the freakin balls and are dragging me by them.

No, I'm saying they haven't worked to transform my sexual energy whatsoever.

I do all of that, MCO, zhan zuang. they don't work. I'm on day 36 of retention too. full lotus, MCO, don't work. 6th tibetan rite, dont work. exercise, dont work. And you all tell me about how women reject me based not on my actions, or what they see, but some cosmic mystical no-logic bs like "women can sense what you've done". COme on, they reject me mroe than they freaking reject serial rapist and criminals. People have done tons worse but that has never stopped them from meeting women. But only bitter nice guys are the one being rejected simply because they're being natural. Wouldn't it matter more what I've actually done to them, rather than something I posted on some message board, but only post this way because I am going through some very illogical BS?

I guess I forgot to mention that I usually NEVER approach women for anything other than a mere friendship. If Ididn't it would end up even worse. In fact I dont even know how to approach women simply for sex. so how can you say that all I want is sex? yea I do want it but I dont ever approach a girl just for that.

Look man. I've never had a female friend, I've never had a girlfriend, and I'm still a virgin. And you expect me to be like some monk living in a temple? I am in no sort of environment and have no way of even controlling my subconscious, my PHYSIOLOGICAL self, which is severely imbalanced simply because I've never had SIMPLE female interaction because they've all rejected me. How do you expect me to be perfect? I consciously do try as much as I can, and do my best, but my BIOLOGY is something that is hardto contorl, ESPECIALLY if my environment, and I simply dont know how to subside my desire. Fuck man I dont even care as much about sex, I wish I could even get FRIENDSHIP, and even THAT I can't get, for the reasons stated above.

Fuck you all. I'm going to die. There's nothing I can do if anything I try is no good. I can't even talk to a girl NORMALLY without her acting this way. Either I'm being targetted by some evil force making ALL, yes ALL yes ALL yes ALL ALLALL ALL ALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALLALL ALL females ALL FEMALES in the entire universe YES EVEN ANIMALS, THE DIVINE FEMININE ALL FUCKING MALE AND FEMALE AND FUCKING GOD AND THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE THE HEAVENS EVEN HELL EVEN EARTH reject me. even deaht. evenlife. everything and nothing. EVERYTHJINJG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think I will commit suicide. There's no logical reason for a woman to reject me before I even try. This is all not in my head. Every woman DOES reject me before I even try. They are all rude, and cold with me. They all ignore me. I tried talking to this one girl, and she was definitely, definitely, just bein cold with me. She was acting intolerant. And I was just talking to her NORMALLY!!!!!! I wasn't hitting on her. Nothing. No girl even wants to be my FRIEND when I try to act friendly. This is not inn my fucking hEAD! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! I refuse to believe that women like nice guys, and dont want the bad boys. Because the badboys are the only ones who have no remorse enough to conquer this 'bitch shield', by making her SUBMIT. And yes SUBMIT because I've seen it before! Time and time again, they want the DOMINANT MEN. THE FUCKING JERKS. ONLY ONLY ONLY ONLY ONLYO ONYLNYLONYONLYNyoknerwthqyp 2893opr erqwepiohu

this is enough reason to want to commit suicide. because I know, before I even get to try, I have already failed.

I talk to a girl I don't even know yet, and just to talk to them. and they're already acting cold, and rude. I say hello they're giving me a dirty "FUCK YOU" look. ok. every woman. every, god damn fucking woman. I seriously want to commit suicide. how in the hell am I supposed to approach a woman, if I get shot down before I even get to approach her? before she even gets to know me? Every. God. Damn. Woman. Every. Fucking. Damn. Every DAMn WOMAN REJECTS ME BEFORE I EVEN APPROACH HER. EVERY EVERY EVERY EVERY EVERY EVERY EVERY EVERY FUCKING WOMAN. EVERY WOMAN. EVERY FUCKING WOMAN. EVERY FUCKING WOMAN REJECTS ME BEFORE I GET TO KNOW HER BEFORE SHE GETS TO KNOW ME BEFORE I APPROACH HER BEFORE I WAS FUCKING BORN BEFORE THE UNIVERSE EXISTED. EVEVERY FUCKING WOMAN. EVERY EVERY ECVUESJLfk;tawep 4 \q3t5

yea one thnigs for sure: all women, ALL WOMEN, all women. carry a bitch shield. they all want to act cold, and like a bitch. they all want to look at me with a face of despise, and they dont even know me. they all want to act disgusted with me. they all want to act intolerant and impatient with me. How do they expect men to NOT be scared to approach them if they're always this way? yea good way to ward off people you don't even KNOW how they are, because you make men have to fight this shit off. good way to ward off anyone who you think is not good looking. and trust me, it is ALL about looks for you bitches.

As regards the different alkalizing foods or whatnot.

Yea he talks to things like love. But he still has that harsh 'bad' and 'wanton' polygamous or whatever promiscuous macho lustful unrefined and crude attitude here and there, that I just don't really agree with. And you'll find a lot of that in recent modern western influenced spirituality and new-agey material having been infiltrated. I guess Im just a different kind of guy. I have trouble relating with people because for one I'm just very different. It's kinda hard being a young adult, especially when I was in high school and into all the wacked out new-agey/spiritual/subquantum ether new physics new biology stuff and "alternative thought." Now Im 23 and I still have found it hard to fit in, being that also I'm not into the sort of harsh reality and "unnatural" social activities most of the college students these days are into. And a lot of poeple here are just into HARDCORE MACHO SADOMASOCHIST BRUTALITY POLYWHATEVER IMPURE FUCKFESTS WHERE EVERYONE CHEATS AND THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS SERIOUS RELATIONS AND SEEKING ADRENALINE PAIN AND EXCESSIVE DOPAMINE junkie stufforwhatever or into the bohemian scene-kid, or douchebag kind of things and being a jerk and stuff. bleh. but of course I'm just the only most crazy lunatic in the entire cosmos. worse than f-in george bush or any other pedophile that actually gets women being thrown at them, but if I try extremely hard i only propel them at warp speed away from me.