Non

heh.. so u just smell like shit then eh? How can your diet be bad if you just eat one veggie meal a day and fast for one day? unless you are just being irresponsible and eating shit.

like which ones?

heh.. I edited my post sorry. I had tons more to say so if you could look over that I'd greatly appreciate it.

Hi. Hopefully this'll be a good thread. My main problem with celibacy is that it makes the penis shrink. It's also unclear whether all stimulation has to be entirely put away, even if you know how to do a semi non-ejaculatory orgasm, or a full non-ejaculatory orgasm. My problem is that, if my penis will shrink if I become celibate.. I will want to compensate for it with jelqing practices. I've already been practicing them for maintenance, and for well more growth. Jelqing requires an erect penis and stimulation. Ie, the jelqing practice itself stimulates.. and it also draws the jing downards. The problem is, that this is semen retention. I can go up to a point where my PC muscle squeezes on its own, but I don't ejaculate. I've been able to do this as a child, and well I think every guy knows how to. That is semen retention. I can't do the jelqs without semen retention. I wondered if perhaps I was able to do the jelq successfully without semen retention if I dont go past that point where my PC muscle squeezes. I thought wrong because I felt the same congestion, although lessened. So really, do I have to go through the cooling and retraction of the penis to practice 'true' celibacy? I really dont want my penis to shrink, or my testicles. For if the time comes that I need to use it what will the woman say? Do you think I can revert it back to my normal size with regular jelqing again in time? Please do not get me wrong either. I want to practice celibacy because well, I'm not getting laid, but besides that, if I regularly ejaculate 1 or 2 a week, or 1nce every 2 weeks, I still feel tired and weaker after ejaculation. I dont want to put up with this, for simple "maintenance". I'd rather be celibate for the time being. Besides that.. I have come to a point where... I am not sexually turned on by most women. The only woman I'd be turned on by, is the one I will be having sex with. So to have to ejaculate a certain number of times a month I'd have to be turned on. Stimulating myself without the female image and presence involved feels homosexual and even degrading. I also cannot watch pornography as I view it as unbalanced and degrading as the women are. It just disgusts me to see a woman who was used and worn by tons of men and their mix of energies, and I dont want my energies mixed in with that. Everytime I watch porn, I feel different afterwards. So I'm at a point where I have no choice but to be celibate, because I know of no women that I'm interested in (they're all doing other men, I dont want to be mixed with those energies). I also cannot imagine a woman, because well I dont know how to imagine a woman. I've also never had sex. This brings problems for my jelqing practice but for a time I managed to do it with the morning wood. But that also caused semen retention and congestion. By the end of the week I simply Have to ejaculate, otherwise I feel heavy and tangled up in knots down there, and acculumation of postnatal jing in my perineum which doesn't go away.

I'm not bad looking. And I'm not a bad person. Whatever that means. I'm also against hookers. What difference does getting a hooker make compared to masturbation? Not much I think. There's no hope for me.

because I just never had any of that which I need in the first place. I don't even know how to attain that which I do not know I am trying to achieve.

I'm practically still a virgin, and I've never had a relationship with a female. not even friendship. I also haven't really had male friends in my life either. or at least not in a social way.

"Nature" is unkind because it has been set up that way. All the animals, killing each other for "food." For "vitality" and "nutrition". This is an artificial universe. an illusion. All been set up to keep you trapped in a very cruel and sadistic and unjust mediocrity. One must transcend this illusion and connect with the 'true nature'. Do we get fleeting glimpses of this? How do we do this?

Hi i wanted to hear your thoughts on biotechnology. I'm getting an associate in science for biotechnology just to have it on my belt... and see what kind of potentials I can reach with it. I think there are a lot of people who oppose biotechnology due to the fact that there's a lot of skepticism and mainstream biotech is of course limited in scope. I don't want to participate in that.. I just started. I think biotech can has potential though it can be used for the wrong purposes as you can see it's prevalent in this modern society. I think it's all about responsibility. It's just an evolution of nature. Extraterrestrials use biotech and bioengineering so why can't we take this next step in taking control of our lives and our reality? Here's a weird website http://paradise-engineering.com/heaven.htm "utopian biotechnology" -a link I found on biologyofkundalini.com If we could find a way to turn on our spiritual genes and perfect the human form without hassle that would be super. Instead of doing it all with the mind (which can be EXTREMELY hard), why can't we use physical means, just like we use exercise, and tools to help us?

hey yea... I just read your post Mikaelz... The error in perception may be right, I know that the ego is not the real me but it's the only thing I've been experiencing. I intellectually know I not the ego, but I don't 'experience' being 'egoless', until I thinking about being 'egoless' again. But then I dont know what to call my true self but 'emptiness'. "I" as ego doesn't want to experience this. "I" makes that so. It just wants to be practical?

pretty entertaining Mal, some pretty good points. Though... whatever. There I go, I just neutralized myself. Anyway, ... this reminds me of the book Biology of Belief which I've been needing to read by Bruce Lipton.

yea we got the switchboard of miami FL here but really they wouldn't know how to deal with something as complex as this. at least buddhists will teach you how to detatch and stuff.. they're just there to give limited solace or something...

biotechnology is not ONLY about recombinant dna technology. biotechnology covers a wide range of topics... its just that, what is being taught is only convention mainstream techniques. e.g. biotechnology has been said to be used in ancient times even since fermentation of foods. sometimes the term biotechnology is even broad term that can be applied to any use of technology for biology. meditation is biotechnology. heh.. abolitionism... is this against taoism, or does it also agree with the search for immortality and idealism ie, optimal balance, etc?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ecotechnology yea well my college doesn't even have a degree in ecology. besides education in america is limited at least until after you graduate, or reach graduate school. Like I said I think if you do it responsibly and you are well educated it could be alright. As to the question, whether you can manipulate DNA... Perhaps if you used more "natural" means of diong it like using well, WAVE genetics?

heh, transhumanism is an interesting topic.

and don't tell me "The USA is the greatest and freeest country in the world". I am grateful that in the USA some things are allowed whereas in other countries there aren't but we also have different mindsets and different circumstances. The government does opress, but its not so obvious, and most people are simply unaware and living in a haze thinking everything's perfect. The citizens do a lot of the opression themselves (and the media controlled by the big industry, controlled by the government, controlled by EXOpolitics) enough with their shortsightedness and egotism.

wel I guess the reason why I haven't gotten help yet is because well... First off NO american insurance actually covers psychological services, nor alternative treatments and they are both expensive and time consuming, and the breadth or scope of treatment and knowledge may be incomplete (as in america there's a huge divide between natural/alternative and allopathic medicine and mainstream thought/science). And I disagree with most allopathic medicine and their Big Pharma. Second.. I have sh*t to do to.. and I'm not going to drive myself to the nearest local mental institution or say anywhere pubicly that I have had thoughts of suicide. Over here we have the Baker Act, if u say that, or act "mentally disordered" in any way they get the police to throw me into the mental institution where the psychiatrists Make Money for diagnosing "inmates" as lunatics and giving them prescriptions which mess them up even more to get them to try hundreds of different medications. of course, they make money from that. I had that happen. And of course they label me crazy and schizo and base if off some chemically induced psychosis rather than conceptual or something caused by a physical situation, or something. So yea... another psychologist just says I have some depression DUE TO THE FACT that I'm so lonely and different so yea you get the point. SO, I have to spend time carefully choosing which psycholigist doesn't rely on Big Pharma and the corrupt governmental and educational systems to tell them what to do. I have called in about a week and a half ago to get some information on treatment at a university that specializes in anxiety, and also has psychological services. so they'll be calling me pretty soon though it's been a weak and a half and they say they're still waiting for a response from the head of the department. SO. I have to find a private psychologist too rather than a corrupt government of big industry supported psychotherapist. which means, more time, searching, more money.... more obscurity etc. And to top it all off it's "unsure" they can provide the proper treatment or that treatment will have lasting effects, or even do something about the issue at hand. Especially with mainstream/conventional methods which do not support "free thought".

i DUNNO.. I dont know about buddhism but I thought one of it's main teachings is to dissociate from the illusory reality. To stop identification with it, and the ego, to at least gain some objectivity over the suffering, and 'detatchment'. Does it stop there? I dont know. Perhaps when one has maximally detatched one reaches Nirvana. That could simply mean death, but the Ultimate death whereby there is no more karma being made, not even reincarnation. It is just, "emptiness".

Actually "they" might not even need to put in that much effort to silence me, or any other with similar characteristics. They target many people all at the same time who have similar vibrations. If theres a vibration they dont like, they just add you on their list of targets, but it's not like they will ALL have to be personally targetted. It can be more of an automatic or impersonal thing. Besides they want to keep control, so it's not like I'm the biggest threat. It's a collective thing. They might be targetting more than one person or idea, and it's set up automatically to tone down anything truly sucessful. And no I'm not like a ninja either. For some select things they DO want me to be noticed. For other select things they DON'T want me to be noticed. Pretty intricate thought system that traps me don't u think? I know it sounds crazy. I'm just waiting for the yr 2012-2030 when perhaps things of this nature can surface and the truth will be known. The silence just kills...

lol forget it all. because all this does is further my demise.

ok now I feel like committing "internet suicide".

actually, when I say I "know too much" mean... because I've read a lot conspiracies, and I'm into the alternative science and alternative thought. That isolates me too naturally. I'm also MORE alternative than the average "althernative" thinker. And also I have had the history of being alone BEFORE I became an 'alternative thinker" and have always been an extremely sensitive and isolated or even problematic person. That, and the fact that in my own personal history, especially growing up I've never had a social life or love life, so being an adult, it's near imposible to start one since I'm expected and supposed to be already grown up. So, all the painful rejection also does have me psychologically and physiologically and autonomosly feeling really bad about myself. I jsut don't have any reflection of my own abilities. I mean I really need to do hardcore inner work on myself which the majority of people right now don't even need to do, just to be living normally, and be able to have SOME kind of effect on my life and reality. I believe that at this state it is simply too dysfunctional to be able to success in anything or even get better. That only external help can help me.. even if I did my best to see otherwise. It's like a very bad trap,and paradox. i dunno. and my mind goes back and forth trying to understand it all because it all seem so illogical, that if I didn't understand it I would be crazy.. and the search for an answr makes me even crazier. It feels like nature has already set my destiny for a short lived life and a sooner than normal death. Down to my very cells that feel this, instinctually, especially as a result of being so rejected by the feminine. That is supposed to symbolize my disintegration, the fact that I've never had a successful interaction with the feminine and that it has without exception EVER been without problems and conflict. Even so much as a simple interaction like being "near" or existing in the same relative area. From the moment of my existence on the conceptual logomorphic plane... It makes no sense why I even "exist". So it feels that nature, itself, wants me dead. In fact, probably taking it's natural course towards a soon death. My life, nature, foretells this and is taking steps to acheive this. Nature seriously wants to kill me. This tells me there's no hope. Or so it seems. Perhaps only an act of "god" or some miracle can save me. But at this level I think I am too caught up,perhaps in my ego.

Si hing told me that this qigong healed him of persistent shoulder pain. The exercise that healed him he described has a technique of pushing air you breathe in and hold into different points of the body. At the end you have no air to breathe out, so where does it go? It supposedly turns into real chi. Is there any technique that is similar to that, perhaps even not chinese in origin?

eh.. whatever I had a good peice of text that I just typed up but I lost it. Now this doesn't seem too convincing. Well w/e.. cuz i'm handling more than one thread.

I have read that there are psyops are done this way. E.G. NeuroComm. The mechanism is based on the belief or fear you give it. I have a theory that for example, it might start with an "agent" whether it be extraterrestrial or government in origin, or even normal humans (think pagan/"magical" systems which work on belief and movement of energy, allowed by belief and throught systems) who's purpose is to get you to fear, and believe in it, thereby giving it more power to continue and make it even worse. "black magic" works on thought systems, powered by belief. If nobody believed in it, it would have no power. Its possible that this is the case, or also psychological operations, done by government or even extraterrestrial in origin. Yes technology like this does in fact exist, if you could just resaerch and find the patents there are for such tecnolog you would know that it does exist. It can even be human in nature, just simple collective belief in bringing people like us down. Most people really don't know what possibilities really exist out there, because they have been hidden from us, even since ANCIENT times. I have thought that I've been a target for at least one of these. If so then that can explain what I've been experiencing. In fact.. many religions even teach this. Although they call this mysterious force "evil" or "of the devil". The way they banish it is by simply giving up fear of it, and belief in it's absolute reality.