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http://www.appliedmeditation.org/Heart_Rhythm_Practice.shtml A woman let me know of this meditation and I'm going to make the effort and learn about it and try it out. I do have a problem though. A lot of methods to acheive happiness or manifest your dreams talk about something akin to having good morals and to 'love'. as if that is all what was needed and its the 'magical' pill and all your dreams will come true. I have a problem with this though... as love requires cooperation. perhaps I dont have the capacity to love.. but I do know that all my life I've had huge problems with society and being social. I sincerely want to be social, but I feel left out in every case. I feel like I do my part but people are just unwilling to help me out. One can love as much as he she can but will it ever be reciprocated? Its not guaranteed. The human has to pretty much rewire itself to give without expecting anything in return and to even be happy if that is all you did your whole life but got nothing in return. I dont think its even very possible for a human to be so because the only reason why a person would give is the knowing that they will get something in return. Life is based on the exchange of energy and the less energy u have the less you have to give. Gathering energy is taking. I guess... I just feel unreciprocated to the point where it limits my giving to an extreme amount. And I am demonized for being so. I believe giving anything isnot the magic pill. its giving the right thing that will guarantee the other person benefits. If you have nothing to give yourself or others, that they will like, then it doesn't matter. So a person can just sit and tell me that all you have to do is love, and give to others,and have good morals be courageous etc. but that ALL depends on cooperation, interconnedness and share distributibility. internal and external. Now I told you I've had the biggest problem with being social, not that I dont want to be social but that I'm a reject of society. Furthermore my connection with all has also very much hindered from what I believe to be unrequited love and others being unreciprocal. Or I am just very unable to be connected...just unable. Its sad to see people getting theirs so easily by giving when others who give get nothing in return, to the point where it just wastes their energy, until the have no more to give.. and the only reason to get more would be to take... because they have nothing to give. Loving oneself is also not always a magic pill. Sure it makes things easier. Love is no always magic pill either, it must be done in the right way. So if one has problems of any sort they are also demonized and debased as being immoral and/or fear based. Anyone. Yet... lets look at what I think are the 6 powers according to the heart rhythm practice that enables 'manifestation'. Compassion Courage Creativity Cooperation Compelling vision Confidence Al of them require cooperation. All of cooperation requires confidence, each of them depend on each other. But cooperation is my biggest setback. I've been alone all my life, I have problems in being social all my life. 1. Compassion: kinda hard to be compassionate, even though I do try. 2. Kinda hard being courageous, even though I do try. 3. Creativity, kinda hard to be creative but I do try. 4. Cooperation, kinda hard to be cooperative but I do try 5. Compelling vision, kinda hard to have compelling vision but I do try. 6. Confidence: kinda hard to have confidence but I do try. None of them together worked for me even if I did do my best. it all depends on others, and others don't care. It would be much easier if I could have internal cooperation as well..but at this point it's become "hard". I dont find much external cooperation and because of that, its hard to have internal cooperation.. and because of that it makes external cooperation harder and the cycle just repeats itself.... but one cannot be without the other. All is done in vain. Would anyone truly be happy and healthy living in complete isolation (provided of course he hasn't the ability to put up with isolation through spiritual practices or whatnot)? Even if they did learn practices to overcome isolation it still might not be enough.

what about government mind control technology or extraterrestrial?

wow sex energy. wonder what that does. Show me. j/k yea maybe he's cursed himself, or been cursed. it is kinda hard to get rid of, especialy if self cursed.

Why break off the "connection"? I dont know which type of connection you are referring to 'break off' with him. Maybe you are simply feeling what he's feeling because you were very empathic of his feelings? I mean.. if YOU couldn't fathom why life was worth living, doesn't that mean that perhaps you could have understood how this guy felt or thought? What if he struck a chord in you that also needed healing? How come "you" as you say... couldn't fathom? Rather than referring to it moreso as an energy that you picked up on? As you said you don't want to leave him hanging, so why do so? Sure, you have to think of your kids, and yourself. So just draw a line somewhere. What if he's showing you something you haven't healed in yourself? Why do people always have to abandon "people who are negative" or "people who have problems"? Maybe you dont know how handle it? So who's being negative there? If you can't handle it.. then I guess it's alright. But don't put all the blame on him as if "he's being negative" all by himself.

I have a problem with many taiji and qigong forms. They dont seem too uniform.. I guess. Many teachers don't tell you how or what to do with the 'chi', where you're supposed to feel it, when etc. ie where to guide the chi as you do each movement, or where the chi is supposed to go, what it's supposed to do, etc. Lately though I've been playing with doing qigong without the breathing being exact, ie just the movements... and instead of focusing on playing with chi balls in specific places (that usually escape from my hands or move around a lot,etc.) I would just focus on my dantian being a vortex where chi would collect as a result of my movements sort of acting as a tornado sucking up chi into the center. I think just as breathing is important, where and how to move the qi is another very important part. We may also need to know all the theory behind the practice, ie the chinese medical theory, merdians, alchemical processes etc. as well as how to feel the chi, which type of chi, etc. I guess.. that's just from following videos. I know I need to read up more on theory. Even then, some qigong practices aren't too specific on how to guide the chi, and moreso just doing the movements.

hey you know about the alchemical processes? I have michael winn's "wuji (primordial) qigong/taiji for enlightenment" video, but by itself I think it's pretty worthless without the understanding of the internal alchemy and the theory behind it all.. which he doesn't even go into detail of.. just tells people at the end of the video that if we wanted more info we could call him and schedule an appointment. Im not sure if the wuji qigong you do is the same as the one on michael winn's tape. http://www.chionline.com/qigong/wuji.htm This is the method. So yea.. there are some unclear steps though.. because to me it doesn't seem very uniform and balanced.. sometimes I feel my chi ball escaping lol.

drew: I guess... pervertedness is also a sort of subjective thing. A lot of people would think some things aren't perverted (yet a nice guy does something much less "perverted" he is called a pervert). It's more about respect.

hey Scott. I'm in the midst of trying to do the things u talk of. Im thinking of doing volunteer work and joining a club at school. dancing alone, or going to cafe's, going to places I have no reason for going or interest in but expecting to find someone to talk to or seeking company don't work for me. I also don't have the social skills to be a social butterfly. Maybe I'll do it if motivated enough... but lately I just dont have time and the outlook seems no good, for the short time I'll be there.. then shortly afterwards having to go back to work and do the same ol same ol.. it will just break me down and make me think I have no purpose. Same with taking walks for no reason other than the BEGGING need to take sun or just exercise (if I have time), but for that I'd rather go tot he gym.. which I do already. And run outside at the track not on the street tho.

haha. 40 yr old virgin is just a movie. that guy was funny as hell too he had no problems getting girls. the 40 yr old virgin is not an isolated case. not all are the same either. tho it's not my fault a girl's going to reject me simply by virtue of my inexperience. Dont you get it man? I'm pretty much lost cause right now I see no hope until I can be shown a better way. I've tried all that you have stated and none of it worked quite well for me. my problem is not inactivity. my problem is being too different that people won't accept me for who I am.

I never said I'd do little to change myself. I said that it's hard being so different. That... and the fact that I've never had a girlfriend and day in day out until I become 'perfect' I have to stay alone. In the end once I do become somewhat "perfect" (even if it's possible to do it absolutely alone as I am) it's never even garanteed that you won't be alone, but it's not garanteed that you will either right? That's what makes it hard to stay motivated. Besides I think what's crippling me the most is the fact that i've never had a girlfriend and that I have to stay alone until I become "perfect". Not that I'm an inherently lazy person. edit: But perhaps erasing this thought from my subconscious (as it can be an excuse) might help.

They are only downers if you let yourself down.

yea well u misunderstand me. I am "proactive" and I've made effort to get dates with many girls. Never worked. I don't think I even need to go after them all that much if in the first place they didn't have such high standards (even tho most are unconscious of this), if they're always making themselves unavailable such that only the most careless jerks and the most "extravagant" or "bad boys" go after them. Haha I understand girls don't want guys who are as bitter as I am but why do they always go for the jerks then, even when they say they don't and even 'prefer' that they dont. They want perfection and drama. It's understandable for me to be bitter, and even natural, I'm 23 yrs old and practically a virgin and I've never even had female friends even if I tried. I'm just too different from anyone, and everyone. Different in a way that people may not prefer either. So what's the use then? I'll see a psychologist but my condition is something that no 'normal' conventional medical practice can heal.

Only for women though because they think they like and are addicted to Drama.

Haha... I'm deficient in kidney yin and water element because of my lack of sex. But you know how women are too they want to give sex to the guys who have plenty of sex and more than enough, but the sexually starved they don't want to help them out. You'd have to pretty much start off having unbalanced sex with low lvl dirty whores or prostitutes, maybe the 'ugly' girl or two or three until you catch some std's.

to fight off evil spirits...?

I mean HELL we all exchange energies all the time some people are conscious of certain exchanges or not. Some of them are. Whether they are 'vampiric' or not, or deliberately stealing...

heheh, has happened to me too. The same reason also, ie mindfulness but also... perhaps moreso self consciousness of trying to consciously fall asleep (is it possible?) I guess one thing that's helped me is to just.. imagine myself relaxing.. feeling how i would feel as if I was falling asleep, or has just woken up where I'm still tired enough to fall back asleep fast. Relaxing my chest, and stomach, etc. focusing on the dan tian. That circadiam rhythm poster is interesting. I wish I could have that schedule. But here in the US or even around the world.. such a schedule is for "spoiled" people who have such time.

u know.. I think people go around stealing each others energies even unconsciously. They dont know it but they do. In such a case one should be more careful to not take him/her for granted and think /she knows all thats being done. One thing thats for sure.. when a guy has sex with a woman he creates a sort of vacuum and sucks some of her energy up. The woman should also do the same. Both partners also get energy from the environment. Sex might even create a vaccuum whereby the mixing of both energies cause a drawing in of energy from the environment. Perhaps also a purging. Most people aren't consciously aware of this process and much less to direct this process consciously. I bet some people do this.. and dependinig on their own condition or the condition o the partner the sex leaves them feeling drained because their own conditions may cause them to take more energy from the partner than they intended to because they dont know how to control it or their own deficiencies take over. Or both partners don't know how to maximize the intaking of energy from the environmennt. Some just leave their energies wide open for maximum drainage and dont know it.. some will alow it, some won't. One could play with these dynamics all day long and come to their own conclusions. But with sexual kung fu one can learn to consciously direct this process, and also draw in energy Consciously from the environment so that a couple can energize themselves with sex. This supposedly already happens naturally with sex.. or at least sex that is "good enough". So yea.. women and men should learn to redirect their orgasms but also be careful to not judge or misunderstand whats going on. I'm sure there are also man people who would call some of these people "psychic vampires" etc. Some of them though.. are unconscious vampires. This is different from those who are really conscious and even then... Some of them simply do it not just because they want to steal but because they might have to have a balance of yin/yang energy and elemental energy within themselves, wherever they may be deficient, for whatever purpose. Whatever that purpose is also might have to be looked into.

Hi I'm looking to find a good resource, perhaps a good book to learn the REAL internal climax for males. I know there are a lot of techniques, and different types of climaxes etc. I want to learn how to approach this topic. I appreciate any insight. Regards.

That's some good info. I've heard about HRV through heartmath.org but never really read much into it because never had much time and couldn't understand it from the get-go. But I think it kinda does depend on biofeedback. I thought it would be simple "heart awareness" during meditation. I haven't read the heart rhythm meditation website... I've been looking for the method without having to buy the book, but I think I wouldn't be able to find it. Maybe I'll ask the woman how she heard of this meditation in the first place and more info about it.

I guess its a personal experience. It cannot really be explained in words only direct feeling but do we know how to transmit that? My friend calls it "electrogravitic energy". He says it doesnt matter how u visualize or imagine it, the underlying principle it still there and that's what matters. What is the difference however are all the methods to achieve conductivity. I used to imagine chi being like fuzzy tingling sensations. or like bio electricity. or if doing it with breath.. some kind of wind-ish force or fluid (but not like say a liquid). More like a bioplasma or ionized gas maybe? But then its guided by awareness and awareness can also act like a vacuum or vortex that guides the energies. Ive read that chi or the force of chi (?) is just mind and body working in accord.

wow man 3 damn hours a day of practice. in western society you dont have any time for anything like leisure exept for eat sleep and sex (to find the girl u go to a club, find one and act 'bad' spew out random vulgarities to her and dont come off as a nice guy,take her home and she's yours at least for the night. if you take good care of her ie do her well enough and don't act like you're falling in love, and kep up with the vulgarities she's yours for longer) lol but NEVER act like the respectful caring nice guy unless you can act like a bad guy more than half of your time. cuz she'll disrespect you and look at you like a sad puppy and step all over you and make fun of you while she goes off with another bad guy to do something....

I was looking through the FAQs.. that's a lot of reading. lol. It just seems like a collection of everything even if it can repeat the same information in different ways. Maybe I just don't have the time to study taoism. School, work, etc. But I feel i must develop myself also.. but the world revolves on purely material things such that it's been kinda hard to focus on the internal. SO I guess I'm looking for a fast track , or just being able to focus on one thing at a time. What's a good book or resource to start with? I was thinkin of just starting with the Dao De Jing.

maybe with a girl Id be willing to try it but only to learn how to induce the dry orgasm and last longer.