Non

well aren't you cahsing immortality to get sex, money, family, children, etc.? What would you want when you're immortal?

Well just WTH is God then? What love? There is love? How do you "attain love and communion with God" if all is failure and seeking gets you nowhere? Well if "God" is the "atman" or "higher self" whatever you want to call it, then what is godS plural?

This is hell. It's only suffering. You can't accept. If you try to accept you're seeking. Any seeking ends up in suffering. You don't accept it. Isn't it impossible to accept? Something will always get on your nerves. Something will always separate you from true attainment. It's what keeps you alive. You want to truly attain? Wouldn't death be the only culmination of attainment? This is why the pursuit of happiness is useless. Nothing is ever attainable. You always fail. Always! Life is just failure, nothing else.. because it's hell. At least that's all I've experienced. See normal poeple can at least strive for something and actually attain it. Me on the other hand, no amount of striving gets me anywhere. It's always bound to be a failure it seems. Infinite failure. Same thing with cultivation, same thing with everything else. And actually, buddhism doesn't really say to seek happiness but to be emotionless. When you're trying to accept reality, you're actually still seeking happiness. Accept unacceptance also.

hope? there is no hope. This is hell.

no I can't. too embarassing, and wtf?

yea but my life is surreal. it doesn't get ANY good. any effort I make is worthless it seems. At least in another's life it seems they get results. even the simplest results.

see it's posts like that which only makes things worse. I AM making changes. I dont see any results. so fuck you. don't play with this. see.. you're getting happiness now right? i'd think it's at other's expense though right now. and you very well can trigger something you don't want. You don't know me. I don't know any of you.

if all I can be is this pathetic soul that nobody can bear with then why not rid the earth of such pestilence? come on it's common sense.

doesn't help me but it wd help others get rid of me.

Good. another reason to commit suicide.

well if that's the case then it's another reason to commmit suicide.

i didn't say there weren't any. just none who would care about me. and yea as for cultivators they are rare it seems.

well the Buddha did have a worldly life before he tried to cultivate. he had a wife and kids. he pretty much had all there was to physical existence. he was in a state of balance to even begin cultivating. Can a cripple who has no state of sanity even begin cultivating, at least in the way Buddha did? there needs to be a healthy vessel before one can first begin cultivation. if there is none then cultivation shd at least help right? or is it all just for normal healthy people, or royalty?

again.. you're telling me to find someone who resonates with me and there is none. I have goals of just cultivating and being a healer and helping people. that's it. now obviously I can't do it if I dont have my life in balance. and I haven't found that.

it's really all too personal.. and way.. wayyy.. to much it would seem.

i thought everything was illusion, event his. I thought nothing really existed. even if we tried to make this our goal we'd be thrown off the path. So again, what's the point? if in the end we'd end up unconscious.

Yes. No point to anything. Nothing really exists.

I'm not saying they don't get to know me before they have sex with me fucko. Don't you read what I say? Women care more about sexual performance first before they get to know you. Or rather, seeing your sexual performance *IS* getting to know you for them.

it will be the end of my world.

you're older than me. how the hell could you relate?

man I'd love to see who the hell keeps giving me the pluses in all my posts.

guess I'll stay hopeless simply because I didn't lose my virginity at 15 yrs old. Because no woman wants a virgin at my age, not even as a last resort.

Yea and that requires the best sex ever first right? Women will judge you on how good you perform at sex FIRST before they get to know you. That's just great.

nonono... virgins DO get laid, when they're young. But when you're as old as me, 25... virginity is immaturity. Even when you're 21 yrs old. Even out of high school and into college. Even at 15 fucking yrs old. "you're a virgin? OMG. God Help You." Women wouldn't touch virgins with a stick as long as the equator of the fucking Earth.

May 21st is my bday.