IchBinEin

Hi all, I posted earlier in the lobby about beginning a retention practice that was in my view very tame. I do not use any manual locking methods. I just go up to the edge of the point of no return and then clench my pc muscles. there is no ejaculation or injeculation, just a lessening of the intensity of the erection, and a little more time to have sex. I have not encountered any problems so far after a little over two weeks, aside from a bit of extra tension, which can be resolved through a good jog, and the problem I'm posting about right now. I want to be around my girlfriend all the time, compliment her, cherish her. While she enjoys the extra compliment now and then, she's expressing an uneasiness about it and senses it getting excessive. She also questions the authenticity of the compliments as they can be viewed as arising solely out of my desire to have sex with her. What can I do about this? Also Does my retention practice seem safe, from the information I've given you about it?

I've learned so much from all of these responses. Should I be safe if i just drop all locking/blocking methods altogether and, while having sex, remain at a point of arousal where those are not crucial to stopping ejaculation? I can do that. It will take some time to learn to ride that level of arousal, but if I can keep myself from harm THAT IS NUMBER 1. Multiple responders have suggested "deep belly breathing" and relaxation, both during the act (to regulate my arousal level) and after ejaculation (to lessen the feeling of being depleted). Is "deep belly breathing" just deep and slow breathing into the diaphragm? Is there a simple practice I can do to work on this? On my own and with a partner? Are there any risks of plain old non-ejaculatory sex, without the use of any muscle contractions intended to hold back from ej? Also, @witch I'm on a raw food diet which helps me with anxiety and gives me a feeling of being very clear headed. I'm not at a point where I'm ready to give that up. But I have added modifications based on your suggestions I've read in other threads. Fish oil being one. I take about a tablespoon of fish oil every morning. I also am aware of my zinc levels, and along with a multivitamin, try to load up on pumpkin seeds and/or brazil nuts when I'm feeling depleted. Is there anything else I should be keeping an eye on?

Wow Guys, A ton of Awesome responses. There is still something I need clarified. Is the practice I'm talking about tame enough to avoid any serious risks? Can I have sex sometimes without coming. Then just come around every two weeks to a month, never retaining for longer than that? I ask this because I do experience some benefits from retention that I'd be sorry to see go. 1. It's helping me a great degree with ejaculatory control. I'm learning how to experience pleasure for a longer time, while holding back from ej. This is a big deal for me, and if I could get the hang of it, that would be great for my sexual confidence/ self-esteem. 2. The feeling of pent up energy is enjoyable to me. I love going outside and feeling like i could run forever. and getting down and doing push-ups with a different kind of force than when i have come recently. 3. The way I interact socially with others is different. When I haven't come for a while I feel more confident, less vulnerable, and therefore generally have interactions with others that feel pretty good. This is what I'm asking and what I would like clarified: Is having sex about once a day, holding back AND NOT ORGASMING by every so often withdrawing and holding my pc muscles to lower my arousal, until we're both satisfied with the interacton, then coming every 2 weeks to a month, Is this a gentle enough practice to not cause harm?

Thank you guys for all of this great information, The thing is. I have a girlfriend. She likes to have sex. When I ejaculate, I have a loooong recovery time during which i feel depressed, low-self esteem, anxious, not confident etc. I want to have sex with my girlfriend as much as she wants, but do not want to feel like shit afterwards. This is why I have taken up retention. She wants to have sex every day. Can I just come sometimes and not others? Is this safe? Releasing maybe once every two weeks to a month? I really do not want to hurt myself. But after ejaculation I just feel SO Drainnnnned!

Hi, I've been trying to save my sexual energy as of late. A few weeks ago, i started searching the internet for ways to do this. Tao Bums was the only place I could find that was having this kind of conversation. I had no intention of learning Taoist Philosophies or practices, but only the desire to avoid the depression I normally felt after ejaculation, and to hold on to the intense feelings of power and confidence I had when i hadn't come for a while. I realized that in this high-energy state, i would do my best work, i would be highly motivated, and almost never have doubts as to what to do next. On the other hand, for 3-5 days after ejaculating, i would feel so weak, so vulnerable around other people, and get into these funks where, i felt i had no purpose in life, just utter lack of motivation. So, after some searching around i found this site, and the concept of retention. Again, I have no other ambitions aside from learning to feel at my peak as often as possible. I've read around this site over and over again. And from what I can gather, most are saying that retention is a potentially dangerous practice. I've read over the areas of Trunk's site that i found to be pertinent multiple times. The last thing i want is erectile dysfunction or other health concerns. I can deal with a little heat, I like the manic feeling I get sometimes. I don't want to go the celibate route because I'm currently in a relationship and the girl has quite a strong sexual appetite and I wouldn't blame her for turning somewhere else if i'm unwilling to fulfill those desires. So what I'm thinking is that I can still have sex 5-7 times a week, but just learn to retain, so that I don't become energetically sapped. Then I could ejaculate once every 2 weeks or every month, whatever feels right. As of late, I've been practicing by myself, by getting up to the point of no return and tightening my pc muscles, to some degree of success, usually one drop comes out. After this, i don't feel the depression that I used to, but there is still a noticeable energetic down-shifting. I don't like that, but maybe it just has to do with timing of the muscle contraction and the current strength of the muscles. Should I keep working on this method? It's simple and straightforward enough. But could this method cause me harm? I'm doing nothing manually because from what i've read that has a higher potential of doing damage. I don't want to hurt myself. I want to fulfill my partner's sexual needs. I don't want to feel drained and depressed due to ejaculation. I want to feel the power of having all that life still in my body. That's all I want as of now. It's just where I am on my path. I'm 21 years old, not looking to invest significant amounts of time learning about taoism (I respect those who are, but that's not where I am at this point in my life), I just want to feel I'm at my energetic peak as often as I can, without hurting myself. So, what would you say is the safest and most effective way to do this?

Thank you for the recommendation Trunk. "Now" supplements seem to be quality and are usually the most affordable on amazon. Thanks also for tuning me into the distinction between liquid and tablet supplements. That will stick with me. Right now, I'm trying to get as much of my nutrients as possible from whole food sources, so I'll stick with a handfull of raw organic pumpkin seeds along with my daily multivitamin(tablet form ) for now. In other news, I want to learn to last longer while having sex. It seems as though the road to multiple orgasm is very dangerous and a lot of people are getting injured through pc and other various kinds of contraction. So it seems wise to steer clear of this road. Are there any other techniques to ej control that don't pose threats to my sexual/physical health? This is what I'm going to practice. I'm just going to masturbate up right on the edge of the point of no return. No clenching of any muscles, just stopping and breathing, and becoming comfortable with this edge? That seems like it would be extremely difficult to maintain in actual sex though. So with a partner, I'll just really focus on deep breathing, staying relaxed and enjoying the moment? 1.I want to keep my energy 2. I want to satisfy my partner. 3. ABOVE ALL, I DO NOT WANT TO HURT MYSELF. Help me out?

Well. This is what I'm working with right now. Apparently a great deal of your body's zinc reserves are stored in semen. This means that after ej your body is looking to replenish this micromineral. Should you google search something along the lines of "libido enhancing foods", you'll find many sources suggesting foods high in zinc. Oysters have reached nearly mythical status because of the high concentration of zinc they contain. Selenium is another micromineral that the body stores in semen. The theory I'm working with is that, the more quickly I can restore the reserves of these minerals, the faster my body will be able to produce sperm, thereby shortening my recovery time after ej. On a raw food diet, the best source of zinc that I'm aware of is pumpkin seeds. And a few Brazil nuts should be sufficient for maintaining adequate levels of selenium. What do you think?

I'm actually on a raw vegan diet and have been for around 10 months. However, I've always felt depleted for a period after ej, so it's not solely a dietary issue, although it's possible my current diet has amplified the effect. I wonder if there are any specific foods to add to my diet to help shorten the recovery period? I've already read through the "post ejaculatory depression" thread multiple times. And it seems as though the consensus there is to add fish oil to the diet, which I have done. A lot of bad things come up after ej. I just want to withdraw from the world. I don't want to talk with anyone. Friends will call me and I'll just let it ring because I just feel so thin, flimsy, and vulnerable, like I have nothing to say. I just want to retreat for a while. I want to pursue retention to avoid these feelings, because when I have not ej for a while, I feel so full of life and confidence, I feel so great! So I want to make sure I feel this way as often as I possibly can. Perhaps I just need to add something to my diet which enhances libido? That may improve my recovery time, right?

Thanks very much for your advice Trunk. I'm just wondering though, you've been around for awhile, have you seen instances of people hurting themselves on the kind of light retention program I'm practicing, i.e., pc muscle contraction, no manual pressing, and just 2 weeks or one month at a time?