Maddie

This will be my last post on the Dao Bums. I joined this forum in 2009 not long after my newly found interest in Qigong and Daoism. A few years later I became interested in Buddhism as well and I still found this form to be a good fit for that. I didn't realize it at the time but one of the things that drove me to try various spiritual practices was constant depression and anxiety that I was struggling with for at the time what seemed to no apparent reason. Ironically almost as soon as I began some type of meditation and spiritual practice thoughts and feelings that I had suppressed long ago as a child due to being in an unsafe environment began to surface again, and also ironically I thought it meant that I was doing meditation wrong. Surely it wasn't working properly or I wasn't doing it properly if thoughts and feelings would arise that were totally contrary to societal norms and everything I had been raised to believe as a child right? Instead of making the connection and understanding what the practice was trying to show me I doubled down to fight it to make it go away. I even sought advice from this forum from time to time, for what was going wrong. Granted I was very vague about what the problem was. I think I would just say things like depression or anxiety or weird thoughts and I was encouraged to keep practicing and move through it and eventually things would get better. But they didn't get better they got worse because the practice was trying to show me who I really was and my reaction to the practice was fear and anger and suppression and therefore my anxiety and depression only worsened. Fast forward a few more years and my anxiety and depression from trying to make what I considered crazy thoughts go away had become practically clinical. I finally reached a point where the suffering and desperation reached such a critical level that I finally in desperation to consider all options thought that perhaps these crazy thoughts and feelings that were coming to the surface from the practice, was precisely what the practice was trying to show me about myself. I finally acknowledged that I wasn't the gender that I had thought I was my entire life and almost immediately the anxiety and depression that I had been battling for most of my life vanished. It's difficult to imagine that the conflicting thoughts and feelings of relief and shock. Relief because this mysterious anxiety and depression that I thought had no obvious and apparent reason were finally gone, practically instantly. Shock because something that I was taught was wrong and weird and bad my entire life was suddenly who I was. So obviously my next thoughts were where could I find safe spaces to learn more about myself and to grow as my true self. One can only imagine the relief I felt when I remembered that Sean had explicitly written for what all intents and purposes could be called the constitution of the Dao Bums that neither right wing rhetoric nor transphobia would be allowed on this forum. Both things that were hostile to my very existence at this point. Unfortunately however Sean has been absent from this forearm for several years and in his absence a shift developed here towards the right. I suppose this shouldn't be surprising since this is the shift that the United States and large parts of the world in general are experiencing presently. In this shift to the right I noticed more right-wing rhetoric and more tolerance for transphobic posters and sentiment. I found it odd that this type of sentiment was being allowed to propagate in a space specifically opposed to such things. It's very difficult to share a space of discussion as an individual in a threatened minority with a group of people who support the very ideology and individuals who seek to strip away your civil rights. Last week the Republican Party in Iowa just voted to specifically remove civil rights from trans people. And yet there was no outcry here but more support for the political party and the thought process which caused something like this to come to pass. The trans Community is scared beyond belief right now. Some members moving or planning to leave the country. Some are arming themselves and forming militia groups. Yes you heard that right. The final straw however was one individual spewing extremely hostile and transphobic rhetoric against trans people and the trans community was allowed to continue doing so without reprimand on this forum even after I reported several of his posts multiple times, and when I tried to force the moderators hands to take action the only action they took was the cowards way out by shutting down the thread as opposed to enforcing the clear-cut rules laid down by the founder of this forum. Seeing as how we live in an unprecedented time in United States history, where not only are the civil rights of trans people being taken away and the civil rights of many other groups being violated, but the very institution of the United States which has existed for almost 250 years is being threatened with overthrow by a fascist dictatorship. That being the case this forum is no longer a safe space for me and for Trans people and for lots of other groups of people. The moderators refuse to follow the directives of the founder and since I do not feel safe here any longer I will no longer participate in this forum. THIS FORUM IS NOT A SAFE SPACE FOR TRANS PEOPLE. It's not a coincidence that there is practically no activity from trans people on here. There are notable exceptions on this form however and I wish to them the best of luck. To the rest of you perhaps you're just going through as a group what I went through internally and mistaking the results of spiritual practice as a problem when in actuality it's the goal.

https://www.iowapublicradio.org/state-government-news/2025-02-27/iowa-legislature-passes-bill-removing-gender-identity-from-state-civil-rights-code Iowa just passed a bill to strip trans people of their civil rights.

Starts soon

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DGYQfSfJAhz/?igsh=MTJiNTRlbHl2N3N2eg==

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DF5TmsGP6tS/?igsh=MWFjb2ZlOW8wYmNvdQ==

Remember, Hitler was elected

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DGg-KLBpBqx/?igsh=MW5qMnlndmw5YXU3ag== Watch this if you think you're not affected just because you're not trans. ☝️

Seems to be a lot of that going around lately.

Yes what a lot of people don't realize is transphobia is bad for all women. There are CIS women getting accosted in bathrooms now.