Maddie

I used to make my ex-gf speak to god often

I put a lot of thought into what you said, and your response did actually cause me to think deeply for an extended amount of time, so for that I am grateful. Here is my analysis of what you stated. It would seem to me that the ego if you define it as all the various aspects of you that cause you to identify yourself as a separate, constant self would actually be that thing with in us that wants to sustain and perpetuate itself and thus it would stand to reason that the ego's greatest fear and its greatest resistance would be to the end of itself. Naturally once the ego is totally eliminated there would be nothing to regret this loss of itself, but it is reasonable to assume that until final eradication, the ego would protest quite forcefully any circumstances that would act to lessen it, as self perpetuation and promotion is the very nature of the ego in the first place. I found your view on separateness interesting but I think I'll flip it on its head. It would seem ego is that part of us that views itself as a separate and constant self. This being the case with the lessening of ego would then come a greater sense of contentedness and actually a lessening of the sense of separateness. Since therefore non-separateness is an anti-ego element it stands to reason that the reduction of the sense of separateness would agitate ego. This post by Dragonsnectar I have found to be very interesting and insightful. Basically the common theme about the function of Kundalini is freeing the chakras from their various bondages. The detail of this schematic seems to be; based upon my subjective observation of this experience quite accurate. It feels like everything that has been happening to me since the initial Kundalini even on Sunday has been a letting go of several of these various issues. Interestingly enough as Kundalini seems to be working its way through my chakras, when it reaches a specific chakra not only do I seem to experience internally the subjective results of that chakra being dealt with, but also my objective external reality seems to reflect what ever particular chakra is being dealt with at the time. In my opinion the sense of loss feels more like the loss of long held world views that are dissolving. It reminds me of the Matrix and Neo's initial shock at realizing the truth and understanding that for his whole life that everything he had thought to be true was a facade. This very much describes how this experience feels. Yes I want to see things as they really are, but at the same time letting go of long held onto perspectives on life is definitely a shock and our systems respond to any type of shock with stress.

Hey XiaoYao ... your name makes me think of Xiao Yao Wan haha. Anyways I wish I could offer more info for you, but I do know what you mean about acupuncture text books being somewhat limited on this topic. I have read some of Jerry Johnson's Medical Qigong books as our library has all the volumes and they are interesting. It was from him that I also heard of the taiji pole. I've not heard ot the specific technique that your are mentioning though, but I have noticed something similar in practice. My main approach to things is a Buddhist one, but its interesting practicing Buddhist meditation with knowledge of TCM because most Buddhists I know and have met don't really know much about it. But anyways I've observed constantly that as I sit in meditation that almost every single time that I feel the qi rise to my upper dan tien and my ears clog up and I feel sensation in the GB12 and SJ 17-18 area as well as a popping feeling in the bridge of my nose just under Yintang.

This does not strike me to be the case with Theravada at all, Ajahn Braham seems to be very much into waking up and seeing things as they actually are.

Kundalini diminishing the ego is a funny paradox. I want my ego to be lessened but what I'm discovering as the whole Kundalini hell week continues is that the ego very much does not want to be diminished and as it is, there comes this great feeling of loss and nothingness. I think that is what is so painful about Kundalini, the feeling of loss, even though letting go is what you are aiming for.... weird.

I looked at it more as an exchange as she was already beginning to draw off my qi as she tends to, but I had not considered the Kundalini aspect of it . Good point I would not want to trigger this in her, especially as she is mundane and would have no idea what's going on and I'd feel very bad if I drove her looney.

Hey Drew I decided to give something you had mentioned a try to day and so far it seems to have worked well. So what happened is I was hanging out with my roommate today for a while. I feel her starting to suck up my qi and at first I stop it. Then I remembered you saying how you would let a female have your qi and you would draw in her jing through your perineum (if I remember correctly). So I decided to give this method a shot. So I just go ahead and let her draw the qi from me while this is going on I draw in jing from her. Now nothing dramatic happened as in your experiences but I noticed that after a little while that both of us seemed to have this super relaxed look to us lol. I feel a little tired but not nearly to the extent that I did in the past when she would suck up my qi. As she is young and has never had children she had a lot of jing so it was relatively easy to take it in. I didn't feel any sort of what I'd call an orgasmic feeling but I just feel super chill super relaxed, very nice. The only catch seems to be that I feel some of her emotional issues from it, but since I feel so relaxed I don't really care that much haha. Once I get back from clinic in the evening I plan on meditating anyways so I'll just deal with that then. So drawing in her jing made me feel very relaxed and judging from her expression and reading her energy I could tell that she was feeling good as well but I think it got her a little hot and bothered because I first felt her start to think of her bf specifically that she wanted sex from him now that she was turned on, and then a few seconds later she said "I need to go to my bf's" lol with a sense of urgency I rarely hear from her haha. It kind of reminds me of the times you said some guy would suck up your energy and then have to go to the bathroom haha.

I reckon that's why I'm studying medicine and not going to rely on my comedian skills for a career lol.

I simply have to ask after the week I've been having why anyone would intentionally want to mess with Kundalini lol?

I don't know if this will help you, but it did help me so I'll give it a shot. In Buddhist cosmology there are six realms of existence. The human realm (ours) is the third one down. At the top are the gods, and at the bottom are the hells, and we are somewhere in the middle. All of these realms though exist in Samsara and thus experience dissatisfaction and thus are subject to the wheel of karma. Being that the human realm lies somewhere in the middle of Samsara this means that if you're here you have a mixture of good and bad karma that in the big picture is more or less equal. You have enough good karma to not be in hell, and enough bad karma to not be in heaven. Also the fact that we are in Samsara in the first place is indicative of the four noble truths that life is suffering and suffering is caused by desire. So what I'm trying to say in all this rambling is that we don't live in a perfect world, and this world will never be perfect. Of course if we can do some good in the world around us we should (gets you more good karma) but we are in Samsara and that is the nature of things. Thus as the Buddha said the only real and permanent solution is to get out of Samsara all together, and that is why we have the eight fold path.

Actually I was hoping to not experience it at all lol. Ajahn Brahm was interviewed one time about Kundalini and he said that in the hundreds of people he has taught meditation to, no one has had a Kundalini experience yet they consistently attain to very high level meditative states. I was not doing any sort of Kundalini practice, it just sort of happened spontaneously, but if I could have somehow avoided it I would have as this week has been very uncomfortable. But I'm glad you like my posts, even if that is my ego speaking haha.

Its's simple (in theory) really. Thousands of Buddhist monks have been doing it for thousands of years. They meditate a lot, end of story. I know it might sound too simple, but in my personal experience I've seen it work for me as well. Retention alone will just drive you nuts as you've already noticed. You have to change that sexual fluid into something more useful which is qi, and the way you do that is by spending a lot of time doing simple mindfulness meditation. How it works is that by doing mindfulness meditation (Samatha) you create emptiness with in your mind. Once you have achieved some emptiness or stillness the process of sex fluids to jing to qi to shen begins. First it will fill up your lower dan tien with jing, then your middle with qi, and then your upper with shen. So emptiness is the key, which is why it take a lot of meditation. If you get the opposite of emptiness which is form in your mind, specifically clinging and craving to form, and in this case specifically the female form the qi will always follow the yi or the intention. So if your mind is on any topic of sexuality then your qi will follow suit and turn into sex fluid. Once you have a lot of sexual fluid accumulated this will stimulate nerves down in your nether regions which will then send a signal up to your brain causing you to feel all that discomfort that you were mentioning. So the key is to convert the sex fluid not just store it, and the way you do that is to meditate a lot and keep your mind empty (which is where the meditation comes in).

I've found myself spontaneously laughing during meditation now as I begin to get more insight into ego and see just how ridiculous it can be, its like its a big cosmic joke and I'm starting to get the joke haha. (or is that part of the joke to?) Oh I thought you had said you had too much yang? Still its a good idea to cultivate yin while you cultivate yang as yin gives rise to yang and of course helps to balance it.

I was watching some smokers talk about free will, I just smiled to myself

I hate it when I'm busy and get a knock at the door and its more atheist missionaries wanting to tell me about nothing.

Hmmm a few days ago when this whole Kundalaini pain the arse experience started I mentioned that one of the symptoms I was having was nausea. I find Ginger to be very effective when ever I feel nausea though.

I'd not heard he was assassinated but it used to amuse me to no end the things he'd say to George W haha.

He was assassinated?

I was doing a little more research into Kundalini because up until a few days ago I knew almost nothing about it, I wasn't interested. Well I saw a few articles about how Kundalini can lead to "ego death". It was saying how you can go through a "dark night of the soul" as Kundalini rises and kills ego. Now I don't think I totally agree with this terminology but it does seem that a lot of this misery is very ego related, and I am really having a lot of insight into the facade of the ego, so I'm sure there is something going on with this Kundalini rising thing and ego death, and since ego does not like to die I guess that's why it sucks so much. Oh also interestingly I was listening to a pod cast where it was being said Kundalini is female energy, and at the moment my tail bone started hurting when this began the notion of the "feminine" is what came over me.

This thread kind of reminds me of my internal dialogue over the years. First I was very zealous in the church. Then I got totally disillusioned with it and thought it was a huge waste of time. Then I got over it and didn't care. Finally I saw that a lot of the cultivation I do now in Buddhism and qigong I was doing in the church and didn't know it haha.

Yea this experience reminds me of a few years back when I first started qigong and was doing organ meditations for the first time and all the emotional crap that dug up. These days organ meditation does not have such a dramatic effect on me (I assume that I cleansed out a lot of that stuff) but THIS feels like those early days of first working on the organs. I guess this is on another level. If your feeling too yang the formula "Zhi Bai Di Huang Wan" is good to help balance that out. http://activeherb.com/zhibo/

TCTCM

I keep reading and re-reading this as I'm finding both very interesting and also explaining very well what has been happening to me the last few days. It's funny because just prior to this whole Kundalini thing I was so happy with how chill I was always feeling haha. Last night the most prominent symptoms seemed to be 2nd chakra according to this list. Today its been more like 3rd chakra on the list. Also in regards to the 3rd chakra (and I've noticed this in the past when I specifically tried to work on it) that not only did I internally feel the issues related to it, but it seemed that events in life externally were related to this issue as well.

you need tape for fliers

Oh yea?! cool. Which school? lol