Maddie

Haven't you ever seen all these pretty girls with ugly dudes and you just stare with your mouth open and think "wtf"?! lol

yea when I do it that way this kind of thing does not happen haha. Though the healing process sucks, afterwards having those old patterns gone is great! *edit: something else I've noticed about working on the liver. If I start to think an unkind or judgmental thought about someone I seem to notice more and think "oh that's not nice" and then think something good about the person instead. I guess this is the liver anger being turned into kindness and compassion

Well I wouldn't take it too hard about your solar plexus, most people's are blocked lol at least you realize it and that is good. Whats bad are people who don't realize it. In my school there are a lot of new age people who talk all silky of love and light and angels and such but they are doing it from their solar plexus rather than their heart. They just regurgitate all the silky new age stuff that they hear everyone else saying. This would explain why they get all catty with each other and gossip and back stab, and then when that person walks into the room they put on a nice big fake smile and say "oh hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii" and give each other big hugs lol. Of course to be fair this isn't just in the new age crowd. When I was in church there was lots of this there too. It reminded me of a pharmaceutical commercial where the church people would say we love everyone and then there is the fast and subtle disclaimer about all the exceptions lol. So like after my break up last summer these people were totally useless. When I would talk about how angry I was with my ex they would say very helpful stuff like "oh just forgive and forget" and when I told them that I could say I'm not angry right now, but then I'd just be in denial and never really deal with it, and I think they understood my subtle reference that, that is how they do things and then the light and love kind of disappeared quickly haha.

What I've noticed is that if I go through all the organs quickly then I generally feel just relaxed and peaceful, but if I focus on any one for a length of time and go deep with in it that the purging process starts which can be very intense. I spent an hour on just my liver a few days ago and I was kind of floored afterwards lol, but now that, that is abating I feel very nice.

Haha yes I get a lot of this too. At my school a lot of people tend to think meditation is a vacation or an entertainment and they talk about all the angels and beings they saw when they flew to the land of Oz and everyone ooohs and aaahhhs lol. Then they ask me about my meditation and I tell them the exact same thing as you "well I sit there for an hour or so and focus on my breath going in and out" and they keep waiting for the punch line as in "and then what happens" lol. Seems like a lot of people don't want to really meditate, they just want to be entertained lol. Becomethepath: its probably just your qi channels and such adjusting I wouldn't worry about it or give it too much mind.

You know just recently I'd been pondering my own bad church / cult experience in a sightly new light. For years after I left I would shake my head and think about how much time I had wasted. But I delve deeper into Buddhism I realize that it wasn't all wasted time. The long hours of meditation now had a foundation laid for them by the long hours of praying then. The mindfulness I do now is very similar to the introspection I did then. Perhaps even some of the merit that led me to a better understanding was earned by the much giving of time and money to help others while in the church. Yea the leader was and is a narcissist but karma will give him his due, but at least I got training when I was young in a type of dedication that most people in the west never know.

Yes I've noticed that as well cultivation does change your standards. And yea looks really don't have that much to do with it, especially for guys as girls are not as visually stimulated as men.

Yea another part of it is that women are so NOT used to men who are powerful that it kind of freaks them out cause they are not used to it lol. There is this guy in my class and he even calls himself a perv, (he literally calls himself this) and he is always following the girls around like a puppy dog, and that is what women are typically used to. My roommate is always hanging out with her bf and his friends cause they are like that too, and most of the rest of his friends don't even have gf's though they want them bad so they all just give my roommate their energy and she just soaks it all up. She does not even realize that she is addicted to her bf's house nor why, but that's why, She is the queen of her own little kingdom there lol. I think the fact that I don't play that game confuses her. On the breaks I'll go off to some corner and maybe try to do some stretching or check email and the girls will seek me out and talk to me lol. So yea as far as the girls that hate you. What I've noticed lately is that first all these girls were wanting to talk to me more and more as I abstained and meditated, but when I got chatty with them they would drain my energy and I would be exhausted. So I wisened up to that and learned to hold back my energy. Now they are starting to be annoyed with me, and what I think it is, and probably in your case too is that since most people operate from a solar plexus perspective (power play) if they can not take your power (as they are used to with 99.99% of males) then they feel disempowered by you and that makes them angry (even if they don't know why they are angry).

Personally I'm staying away from the girlies, at least for the moment anyways so I can really cultivate right now, BUT if I was going to look for a girl I'd want one who operates at least above the solar plexus level AND that is very rare to find in either male or female, so at least I don't feel like I'm missing out by just cultivating now haha. I have noticed that as I cultivate more the girls at my school get more chatty, but something else that comes with more cultivation is a greater sensitivity to people's energy, and with just about every one of them that does talk to me I can feel that they are probing me to try to find an "in" for the solar plexus power play, and homie don't want to play that game anymore (already had enough of that game). On the other hand since its rare to find another person (male or female) that operates above the solar plexus level, I've found that if I seek solitude and focus on a heart level with in myself that I get that love, bliss, joy that we are really looking for anyways, but usually seek in another person.

Thats like whats been going on with my liver the past couple days. Very intense, deep, feelings coming out of it as I've been doing the liver meditation.

Actually that is exactly my experience, or was. I've noticed at school since I started avoiding chatting too much and making eye contact with the girllies they now seem kind of annoyed with me, but at least I'm not as drained as I was like a couple weeks ago lol

Haha, yea ever since I became aware of what my roommate was doing and stopped letting her take my energy I've not seen her for like a week and a half. She just constantly hangs out at her bf's place with him and all his friends. I guess its easier hunting there haha. It's weird like the next couple days she tried really hard, hanging out with me, buying me drinks and then when I still wouldn't give it up (I'm not that kind of boy ) hardly seen or heard a peep out of her.

oh man that is so cool haha.

Hmmm interesting. Did you get attacked at a distance or something? I also remembered that the po is supposed to be incharge of jing while the hun was in charge of qi.

I started laughing during the video when it was said that Castaneda didn't want to do any of the abstinence required of shamanic pilgrimage lol. In my school there are a couple guys who are these yoga teachers and have their own gig and make this big deal about being teachers and how evolved they are, but they are actually pervs haha. Especially one of them, he always looks at the girls in school like a wolf licking his chops when seeing a lamb lol. He was doing this meditation class at a Kava bar last fall and he invited me. The content was actually interesting as he was teaching these vedic planetary meditations to invoke the qi of various planets into your life to help you with specific issues. But having already been in a cult like church and having had that experience I am now super sensitive to anyone who wants to build a following based on a personality cult. Well this guy felt that way, so I quit going to his sessions. The girls can feel this too as I've actually had a few of them ask me to walk with them to their cars so he would not start trying to make the moves on them in the parking lot. But like I said my church experience was much like that. Run by this narcissistic perv who had built himself a personality cult.

well... qi - energy gong - work so its working with your qi or energy.

you sure you do qigong? lol

People with opened third eye's can see qi.

Hmmm interesting. Did things get intense when you were doing lots of healing sounds?

I was reading something interesting about the Hun and Po. One comparison said that the Hun was related to the light side of the moon and the Po the dark side of the moon. This is interesting because I had noticed over the past several months that on the night of a full moon I felt a lot of irrational intense emotions. The Po is said to relate to our animal nature, and die with the body.

So its been a while since I last did a lot of intense organ meditation and I had forgotten how intense it could be. So for the past couple days I've been working on my liver using the healing sound and the inner smile and man all sorts of stuff has been happening! Its like all these intense emotions and memories from the past, particularly any that had been conflict or stress related are just coming up by the bucket load. I've found myself remembering very vividly past unpleasant memories and feeling what I felt at the time that those events happened. I'm glad I've done this before or it would really be freaking me out, but this is the same sort of thing that has happened in the past every times I've done this. But why do it? cause after those few intense days of unpleasant feelings the long term issues get resolved and patterns that had been long standing fade away. So yea that's the reason I'm doing this, not because I'm masochistic lol. Just curious if anyone else does this kind of meditation? *edit: I was further thinking about the discussion last week regarding the Liver/hun/ethereal soul being the subconscious that survives death and gives rise to the new individual that is reborn. With this being the case I began to think about how then working on the Liver could be so intense as it carries with in it all the subconscious tendencies and memories of not just this life time but countless past lives as well. So therefore any deeply entrenched habits, traits, and patterns would be located here. No wonder working on the Liver is such a difficult thing to do.

True, but I was referring to a more psycho/emotional aspect of it.

Still finding the Liver to be very relevant to work on today, same type of stuff as yesterday.

Yes its in solitude that my qi isn't being drained away by the public, so thus it increases.

Ideally qi cultivation leads to greater wisdom, so I'd like to think that if I was going to a death brawl with a Tiger I'd remember to bring a gun lol