Maddie

I thought I would clarify a few things, and give some feed back... I have tried the cord cutting thing a little. I hated the abuse, it sucked. She's breathing all she wants know as we don't even speak to each other. Before when we were together she would freak out if I was not around her all the time. What is EFT Matrix Re-imprinting? If it helped you that much I would be interested in knowing more about it. I'm not worried about meeting women, just trying to get over this one. To Turtle Shell thanks for your advice and input. I have been thinking about seeing a councilor and prolly will do it here soon. ;-) To Boy, actually I am very much into psych and the mind, I just use those other tools to help with it. I don't keep trying to be there for her now. What I was saying is when I did try to be there for her, I got no credit for it. The fear of your partner "not being there" is a classic Borderline Personality Disorder symptom (see I am into psych), which is what I'm convinced she is.

I thought I'd share what I've been up to this week. I have now been working on my Lungs, as the Lungs deal with grief, sadness, sorrow, loss, ect... During my meditations I had become aware that an additional aspect to feeling lonely was the issue of wanting comfort from internal grief, sorrow, and sadness. Grief and the Lungs are metal; the heart, love, and intimacy are fire; fire controls metal. I think based on this that a lot of loneliness and the desire to find someone out of a motivation of loneliness is wanting fire to control metal. Wanting someone's love, affection, kindness, and the like to subdue our own feelings of sadness, lack, loss, and grief. The problem with using this external method is that since the medicine to our problem is coming from an outside source, this makes us needy, and dependent upon the person who is giving it. Any relationship that us based upon a foundation of lack and need is doomed. Better is to resolve this imbalance with in first, and then when we meet someone it will not be based upon lack, or need, but can be built upon a good foundation where one is already feeling pretty good within. ;-)

I just thought I'd second that ;-)

Adding to this, this past week I have been working a lot on my Liver using the inner smile, and I found a lot of stuff there. It would seem that in the past my understanding of the Liver apparently was simplistic. I knew the emotion of the Liver was anger, and its virtue was kindness. What I did not realize was that a lot of the feelings of loneliness I think I have felt were Liver based. What I mean is I was lonely because by myself my Liver lacked kindness for myself, so therefore I wanted to find kindness from the outside (as in from another person). I'm not saying that every person who feels lonely, or even every time I've felt lonely its because of this reason, but I definitely see how this aspect played a large role. Another emotion of the Liver is depression (anger directed inward) and so another thing I think I've wanted is someone to make me not feel depressed, when in reality the problem was an internal one. I have to admit that in the midst of working on my Liver, its not a very pleasant process because its dredging up a lot of uncomfortable feelings, but on the other hand I feel less compulsion to have to be around someone to not feel lonely or down. I think someone asked where to learn the inner smile, I learned it from Master Chia http://www.universal-tao.com/article/smile.html Hope this is helpful, I'm still in the midst of this.

I've had some unusual experiences with the inner smile lately. Last week I used the inner smile to work on my Liver. The next day I was very tired, and had this weird cold sweat and felt cold and hot at the same time. Then yesterday at noon I used the inner smile for my Liver again and had the same reaction later that day and evening. I'm wondering if this is just a detox reaction?

I agree, I like that test too :-)

This post got my attention because loneliness is also something I have been dealing with a lot lately as well, especially after my break-up. I'll have to say some of the advice here has been pretty good, and a lot of it seems pretty bad... at least from the perspective of someone who is also dealing with loneliness. Here is what I have noticed from my own experience so far. I had been feeling pretty lonely so I decided to get out and spend some time with friends. Once I got out there with friends I would notice that I still felt lonely. So I realized that the loneliness was not based upon being around people. I also noticed at times when I was by myself I would feel at peace and content. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying we don't need people, because as human being we are social creatures. I did like RV and OldGreen's input about going with in and finding out what makes one feel lonely, and using inner techniques to do something about it. I have noticed that doing the inner smile has helped quite a bit, though not completely. Since it helped up to a point, but I could feel that there was something more going on, I decided to dig deeper. This has led me to working with the sacral chakra. It makes sense as the sacral chakra is about being social, connecting with others, and happiness. When one is lonely they are not feeling connected to others, and its is not a happy feeling at all. While I am still working on this, all I can say is that while I still have moments, things seem to be steadily improving. Here is the technique I am using to work with my sacral chakra http://www.eclecticenergies.com/chakras/open.php I am also using a sacral chakra crystal elixir that I make myself. Also the inner smile is useful as well, as the heart deals with interaction with others, the lungs with grief and sorrow, and the spleen about being centered. All of which are important when dealing with loneliness. Hope that helps.

Interesting you mention that, as just yesterday I was talking to one of my Shamanic friends, who said something along the same lines. ;-)

I am?!

I hope this is not too off topic, but I had just posted in another thread about retention about how I have noticed that if I go a few days with out release that I tend to feel desire in my heart as opposed to lower down. This baffles me. If I go more than a few days, I start to get palpitations, nervousness in my chest, and sometimes even difficult to breath, and I don't know why. When I do release the greatest feeling of relief and please is in my chest as opposed to lower down. When I was younger it was not this way, so I don't understand why its this way now. What does the heart have to do with this?

I've actually noticed lately that I stink to myself when I meditate :-/

I've lately been pondering a lot how karma, love and money all affect each other and/or are affected by each other. Also if your love or money karma is bad, what would be good ways to improve it?

I believe one thing that will help with this problem is working on the root chakra, and the spleen. Both are related to the earth element, so they related to being grounded, comfortable, natural, centered, ect... I say this because I have been working on this lately myself for much of the same reasons as stated in the original post. I had started focusing on my root chakra a few weeks ago after having gone through a very rough break up. One of the hard things about going through the break up was feeling very lonely. Working with my root chakra seemed to help. Then I switched and began to work on first my heart and then my solar plexus chakra. Doing that made me feel very bad, sad, anxious, ect.. So I returned to my root chakra and I almost instantly felt a great amount of relief. During this time I had also been working on my various organs, but came to the observation that if you don't work on the right/appropriate chakra you can work on the organs all you want, but you don't make a lot of progress. So it would seem to me at least that the chakra's operate on a deeper level than the organs, and can help keep them in balance or throw them out of balance.

I suppose for one to give money to charity, one must have money to give, which begs the question of money karma in the first place lol.

One topic I have been pondering a lot, and don't seem to understand is the concept of money from a "big picture" perspective. Assuming we are on the earth to work out karma and learn spiritual lessons and what not, then how does money play into it all? Another thing I don't understand is why it is that I never seem to have any lol. I realize this topic is rather broad, but I would be interested in hearing perspectives about money.

Thanks for all the interesting responses. I guess one question I have that probably is impossible to answer, but I'll ask it anyways. Why is it a necessity to have and acquire material things to survive? as opposed to the spirit world where such things don't seem to be necessary? What is the reason for it??

I am wanting to know more about what exactly co-dependence really is, and is not??

I live in Austin now, and it is NOT like the rest of Texas at all lol. I love it here :-)

Explaining something that the first verse of the book that is supposed to explain it says that you can't say what it is because as soon as you say what it is you've missed the point, makes explaining it quite problematic. I suppose that is why Taoists don't go to hear a sermon, its why they practice Qigong as to experience what Tao is. :-)

I would be curious in hearing people's various experiences with doing the MCO originating in the dan tien, and the MCO originating in the testicles aka (testicle breathing/ cool draw). I find both to be useful for different purposes, but the sensation and experience to be slightly different, and was curious if anyone else had any input from personal experience if they have done both?

not a problem, and what you said I totally get cause you pretty much described much of what I have gone through as well

I think for me one of the hardest parts it dealing with the stuff that meditation shows you about yourself.

Just from what you have said it sounds most likely but not necessarily that you might be suffering from either Qi or Yang deficiency or both. More specifically deficiency of the Lungs and possibly also the Liver, but do keep in mind that with out a proper tounge and pulse diagonsis I can't say for sure, but I would recommend going to see a TCM Dr. about this.

I'd say go see a TCM dr. because excessive sweating could be the symptoms of a few conditions, some of which could be kind of serious. Of course it would be really difficult to diagnose you via the internet though here are some guidelines. If this excessive sweating occurs mainly at night then its probably more of a yin deficiency issue, but not necessarily. If this happens during the day then it could be several things including qi deficiency, and or excess heat in one or more of the various organs. So a few questions... On what part of your body does the sweating occur the most? What type of sweat is it? oily or watery? When is it most profuse? daytime or nighttime? Does it have any color to it? such as yellow? or is it clear? Do you have any other symptoms, no matter how unrelated they may seem?