Maddie

Hadn't posted anything for a while, because there has not really been anything new to report. I continue to work on my heart and lungs a lot. My general observation in doing so is that the lungs tend to relate more about how I feel about myself, and the heart has more to do with how I relate to others, but of course not saying that there isn't both aspects of this in both organs. These two organs and meridians seem to be taking more work than other organs, as I think I have had more issues relating to these organs than other ones. As far as the lungs go, its been quite unusual lately, as in the past I almost never cried, it was very rare. It was not as though I was trying not to, but it just didn't happen. But now lately that I have been working on the lungs I've been getting spontaneously weepy in the most random times and places. On Sunday I drove out to this little German town in the hill country that I love here, and was in this German restaurant, and at the hour all these coo coo clocks went off, and I burst into tears right in the middle of the restaurant, which if you knew me is something I NEVER do. At the same time though I've noticed that in general that the way I feel about myself is improving, and therefore the need for the approval of others seems to be slowly and gradually lessening. In regards to the heart, this one seems to be the most difficult organ I've ever worked on. It almost feels as though the heart does not want to be worked on, it feels very resistant, slow going, and there seems to be a LOT of junk in there, which is taking quite a bit of time to work on. Some of what I feel in the heart is the desire for excessive stimulation and excitement, shyness, slightly anti-social feelings, unusual thoughts, my "dark" side, the male part of me that tends to want to "pick up" most attractive girls that I see, desire, and all sorts of wild and wacky things. I've noticed as I keep working on my heart that I'm slowly beginning to get a little bit less excited at the things that would previously over stimulate me such as women, feeling a little more social, as opposed to kind of shy, quiet, and withdrawn. An interesting observation in regards to not getting quite as excited as I used to, or I guess as the Chinese would call it "over joy", it seems that most Americans don't even seem to realize that this is a problem to be avoided. When ever I get in converstaions with people about this, and I tell them that one of the problems of the heart is "over joy" "over excitement" "over stimulation" they kind of look at me with this confused look on their face that kind of says "but I thought that was a good thing" or "I thought that is what we were supposed to be going for". Yet these same people suffer from anxiety, depression, nervousness, mental disorders and so on. In this culture which is all about stimlulation to the extreme, we just don't seem to understand how except for the past few decades, the kind of stimulation we now have access to and experience daily was just not a part of life for most of human evolution. Our bodies are simply not wired to handel that kind of stimulation, and yet we wonder why there are so many mental problems today. Everyone seems to get that too much sorrow, worry, anger, or fear is bad, but when you tell them too much joy, excitement, or stimulation is bad, this they don't understand. Looking back though I think that if as a child growing up, and as a young adult that if I had not been exposed to so much stimluation, such as so much TV, movies, video games, parties, dating, trips, ect... (not saying that none of this is good, just the excess of it) and had not become used to being and expecting constant stimulation that I'm pretty sure that in the present I would not be having to deal with all the problems in my heart that I am dealing with now. It makes the Buddhist goal of quieting the mind make more and more sense lol.

Like yourself, then others might follow the trend

good insight Romie!! I'll say again what I posted on non's thread this morning, if the problem is that you feel bad about this topic, and if you feel what you feel on the inside (and you do) then the answer is not to focus your attention externally, but within on what causes you to feel bad about it in the first place.

Um I realize in the past I had offered some advice about tips to get chicks, but I do not think that is the real answer at all here. I think the real issue and thus the real solution is about HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT YOURSELF. Lets think about it for a second, how do you feel about women? frustrated, and where do you feel this? inside yourself. Why do you feel frustrated about women? because you don't think they are interested in you, and where do you feel this feeling of rejetion? again inside yourself. The same could be said about all the other emotions you feel about all the other topics that are somehow women related. So what is the answer? to keep chasing an external solution to an internal problem? No, the REAL solution is to change the way you feel about yourself, as it is within yourself that you feel these bad feelings. Think about it, if you felt good about yourself, then when you saw a woman you would project your self approval upon her, rather than your low self validation (which is what you are really feeling when you see a women now). So how do you do this? SOS "same old stuff" I've been saying, get the negative energy out, put the good energy in. There are many methods to do this, one of the ones I use (because it works for me) is that inner smile and healing sound method. Do you see a woman and feel inadequate? work on your lungs since they are realated to self esteem. Do you see a woman and feel timid? Then work on your liver as this relates to assertiveness. Do you see a woman and are unsure about how to approach her? Work on your heart as this relates to propriety in social interactions. Fear women? work on your kidneys. Fret about if they like you, what they think about you? work on your spleen, ect. The ironic thing is the more you do this the less you will care about what women think about you, the better you will think about yourself, and most ironic of all once you feel good about yourself, then others (including women) will be able to feel good about you too ;-).

Well I didn't exactely mean that you can never get to the point in this life time. What I did mean was that if you focus now on accepting yourself, loving yourself, valuing yourself, then after a few months, years, ect... you will naturally feel good about yourself, and when you feel good about yourself then that draws other people in to feel good about you too. I guess its like Wuji, doing with out doing. All the dating and relationship advice we get here in the west is usually outward focused and effort based. You are taught techniques to go out and find/get someone else. What this monk was saying I think was that the Taoist/Wuji way is to not focus on finding someone else, but rather to focus on finding yourself. Then once you have found yourself, others will just natrually be drawn to you with out you having to go out and get them. So I guess how this would translate to us guys is to now worry about how to pick up chicks, or why girls are this way or that way... no. The focus is to find out who we really are, to accept ourselves, and then just like air flows into our lungs when we breathe, the right people for relationships will flow into our lives naturally, with out trying so hard. p.s. I think this even is very syncranistic with my recent work on my heart and lungs. For the past almost week now I've really done no other form of Qigong other than the heart and lung inner smile/healing sounds. Its been a very eye opening experience.

I found this very interesting. This Taoist monk talks about relationships. What I found particuarly interesting was where he said the key is not to look outside yourself for the answer, but to develop yourself, and your own energy, and that will naturally attract the right person for you when your ready with out trying too hard. I must admit I have not been doing this lol, but it makes a lot of sense.

Ok well this info isn't about the Heart meridian per se, but its about the Lung meridian which the heart meridian keeps under control (fire dominates metal), and both of them run through the yin side of the arm. I worked on my lung meridian today because even though as I mentioned in my last post a lot of "junk" was in my heart meridian, a lot of "junk" was also in my lung meridian as well, and both the heart and lungs are in the middle dan tien/ upper burner area together. The lung meridian's positive attributes are good self esteem, boundries, righteousness, courage, ect.. While its negative aspects are saddness, sorrow, low self esteem, poor boundries, ect... And while its not the "heart" its also very relevant stuff. As I had mentioned in my other post, a big problem was odd thinking that I had found in the heart, but another problem was a poor self image, self esteem, self worth that I found in the lungs. Either issue is obviously a problem, and needs to be dealt with. So this time I did the lung inner smile and healing sound, and once again got rid of a lot of "junk" related to the issues that I just listed. While the heart may have had me think about interactions with others in a "disturbed" way, the lungs had me thinking of interactions with other people in a "I feel rotten" way. Either way a problem. Working on this meridian has shown me how this imbalance has played out in my daily life. For instance, when one does not have much self value, then one seeks value from an outside source often as a method of compensation. Often this form of self value compensation comes in the form of validation from another person. This is why one often sees people go from one relationship or fling to another constantly, because alone they feel no source of self validation, so they seek validation like a crack addict seeks another hit. In being perfectly honest with myself I realized that this has been a big part of my own motivation to meet women. I'm not saying that wanting to meet women means that you have low self validation, but it can be, at least to unnatural extremes. Often this can be varified by being devistated by rejection (validation taken away) and elation at being accepted (validation granted). Also the lungs have to do with personal boundries, so people that have a hard time saying "NO" to either others or themselves, also show a tendency towards lung meridian imbalance. If anyone had read about my experiences with my soon to be ex wife, it was pretty obvous that when I met her my personal boundries were not all that good. Probably the most well known aspect of the lungs is sorrow. Sorrow can come in many flavors and varieties. Grieving lost loved ones, the sorrow of being alone (lonliness/rejection) which goes back to poor self esteem, the sorrow of regret, which is the exact opposite of the positive lung virtue of righteouesness (feeling that you are a good person). So in addition to my work on the heart meridian, I've also been working a lot on the lung meridian this week as well, and the results have been encouraging. :-)

Some things you said are very insightful. You seemed to be aware of how fear led to hate. Fear is in the kidneys which are water. Water feeds wood, which is in the liver, which is where anger is. Your fear (kidneys) is feeding your anger (liver). I would suggest working on your kidneys and liver to get this type of negative energy out. Usually I use the inner smile/ and healing sounds for this, which I have fouond to be very effective for such situations.

Hey I realize this isn't exactely what you were getting at on this post, but the syncrinisoty of what I experienced yesterday was too uncanny for me to not comment. Yesterday I sat down for over an hour and did nothing else except the heart inner smile and healing sound. Why? because frankly I'm tired of experiencing the symptoms of a heart meridain imbalance. As I did the healing sound for the heart yesterday, I felt all this very bad energy that I can only simply describe as "disturbed, dirty, bad" come out. See I got tired of going through extreems of being very stimulated for a while, and not only "stimulated" but stimluated in a kind of odd way. It was as though I was wound up too high, and in addition my thinking became bizzare. Then I would crash and feel totally down, totally disinterested in pretty much everything, until the other extreme kicked in again. This to me actually sounds like bi-polar disorder :-/ , at least from the western perspective. From a TCM point of view though it would seem more like a heart/kidney imbalance, as the kidneys are deficient and can no longer keep the heart fire in check, which then blazes out of control (over joy) until its burnt out (lack of joy). What I think I am beginning to understand now, which I did not fully understand earlier is what the full meaning of the hearts function in the emotional/mental realm is. Most texts on TCM would state that the heart's emotion is "Joy" or at most they might say its negativce emotions is "Over Joy". I don't know about you, but to me the term "over joy" does not tell me much. To me the notion of being a little "wound up" or "giddy" does not convey to me the idea of disturbed mental process. But after further searching I found some sources that mentioned that the heart is center of sound mental and emotional being and that a disturbance in the heart can cause this aspect to become disturbed. So I sat down, and began to do the heart healing sound to see what that might do. I was very suprised as that is preciecly what I found in there, which was quite disconcerting, yet a relief at the same time. The only way I can describe what I felt come out of my heart was that it felt like my "dark side" or the evil side of us that we rarely want to face. I have worked on just about all my organs extensively and have never felt anything like that before. For the most part what I found in the other organs pretty much fit (more or less) with the standard descriptions of them. In my liver I always found anger, or some variant of it, in the kidneys fear, in the spleen worry, in the lungs sadness and sorrow, but up until now I never really connected in a similar fashion with the heart, I mean who wants to get rid of joy? lol. But yesterday when I really made an effort to find out what was in there regardless of what the books say, I was stunned! I did not find "joy" rather I found basically the most disturbing apsects of my nature, what I would be inclined to call the "bad" side of me. Yet I am hesitant to lable them as "bad" or "evil" because isn't that against the nature of the Tao? The effect that I felt afterwards was amazing, I felt so much better, very light, free, innocent, good. It almost felt like some people describe religious conversion experiences. Now I'm not saying that I'm all done, as I do plan to continue working on and with my heart, yet the progress I made in that one session was amazing and encourages me to continue. I just don't understand why just about every TCM description of the heart says its emotion is "joy" or negative emotion "over joy"? That does not seem to fit at all with what I found in my personal experience. But since I begin TCM school this week, I'm sure I will have an excellent opportunity to ask questions about this. Yes I am excited about going to TCM school lol :-). If anyone else has any insight into the heart meridian issue, I would be happy to hear it.

I used to try to hard to lessen my sex drive, UNTIL I realized that the reason I was trying to do so was because of GUILT. I had been made to think that sex was bad, dirty, sinful, shameful, ect... That was the real problem. Wanting sex is 100% natural, normal, and healthy!

I have associated the spleen with the solar plexus for the same reason as you due to its relation to digestion, and the fact that it like the liver lies at the level of the solar plexus. I have also noticed similarities with the spleen and the root chakra due to the earth element aspect. Its funny you mention the Fusion practice because I had been contemplating if perhaps that might be a good next step for me.

Ego That seems to be the latest shift in my chakra work. I have been working on both the sacral and solar plexus chakras at the same time, with just a shift in emphasis on one or the other. Working with the sacral chakra has seemed to help a lot with sex drive issues which has cleared things up enough for me to become aware of other issues such as ego. Ego is to be found largely in the solar plexus. As I have been shifting emphasis back to my solar plexus as ego issues seem to have come to the forefront rather than sexuality issues. As I work on the solar plexus ego stuff, I seem to be feeling it affecting my lungs and liver. I suppose this makes sense as the lungs have a lot to do with our self esteem, pride, or the lack thereof such as feeling sad, low self esteem ect. The self-esteem aspect of the solar plexus then is very much related to the lungs. Plus the lung meridian's internal path goes right through the solar plexus. The liver's virtue of kindness and generosity, and emotions of anger, competitivness, and control also are very related to the other aspects of the solar plexus and ego. A healthy ego is generous, while a weak ego get angry easily at percieved injustices and slights against it. The liver's position right in the solar plexus area is easy to understand in its relation to it. It seems that as I work more on the solar plexus I become more aware of how much ego plays a part in life, and how well it explains a lot of the stupid crap that we do.

If you have truely not stimulated yourself for as long as you say, then your testosterone levels are probably very low, which would exlain the lack of morning wood. Since testosterone belongs to essence, you would be doing yourself a service to stimulate yourself in order to increase the amount of testosterone essence/jing as being a male it is vital to your health.

You know thats very interesting, because when I lived in Alaska my dan tien felt lower down. Now that I'm in Texas it feels slightly higher... weird.

The inner smile is one of my most used practices, along with the healing sounds which I usually combine. Anyways there is a saying about doing the inner smile, which is "fake it till you make it" (thats what she said, lol sorry). Basically even if your not feeling it at all, you just keep that slight smile on your face, and keep smiling down to which ever organ your trying to make smile until you actually feel that organ begin to respond. *edit: this just occured to me. If she is having post-partum depression, then probably it would be most beneficial for her to smile to her liver, as a liver blood deficiency (which is common in women who just had babies) can lead to depression. The liver stores blood, and a lot of blood is lost in delievery. Adding the liver healing sound "shhh" would help as well. I'd also recommend some good liver cleansing herbs like Dandilion and Milk Thistle, as well as some good blood building herbs... http://www.livestrong.com/article/364777-medicinal-herbs-for-blood-building/

Ok I've been working on the sacral chakra for a few days now, and good god almighty what an adventure that has been. The solar plexus did raise my libdo, but not like this. This is insane, but I guess it makes sense too. So I guess the traditional explination of the sacral chakra hold legitimacy. The primary organ that this chakra has brought me to focus on, was predictably the kidneys. I've been doing lots of kidney inner smile/healing sounds and this has been bringing up lots of unhealthy and negative attitudes towards sex that were in there.

Now that I have some what improved my solar plexus (emphasis on somewhat) I am beginning to notice a shift in the focus of my desire. Prior to my solar plexus work it had primarily been an emphasis on the ego related issues of the solar plexus such as status, being attractive, "getting the girl", how I felt about myself, stuff like that. Now that this is a wee bit more balanced than it was I am now noticing a shift, just like when you finish scratching one itch, you become aware of another that had been there all along. I now am beginning to have a greater desire for the simple physical sensation. This leads me to believe that this issue is primarily a sacral chakra issue, as the sacral chakra has more to do with sensation, and pleasure. The primary reason I'd want to work on this is because now that I've worked on my solar plexus women are definately more responsive, but I do not want the strong desire for physical pleasure to cloud my better judgment about who I choose to be with (I don't want to be with someone who would be bad for me just because they put out). Connected with the sacral chakra I believe are the kidneys, as both the sacral chakra and kidney's elements are water, both are related to sexuality, and if not in balance both can result in excessive desire for physical sensation. In regards to the kidneys if one has yin deficiency then they develop an empty heat condition that causes their kidneys to become too yang, thus causing their desire to be very strong. I want to state that I don't find anything wrong with desire in and of itself, but if it is so strong that it clouds better judgment, than this can certainly be a problem. One thing I have learned from working with the lower chakras is that they all seem to be related to sexuality in some form, and this has shown me that sexuality is multi-layered and much more complex than I used to think. So for now I'll beging to work on my sacral chakra and bore everyone to death with the results of that.

Just a few more insights into the whole solar plexus-liver-ect.. As I stated I've noticed consistently that everytime I do the "hold the ball" posture at the level of the solar plexus that my sex drive becomes extremely high. I know that the liver lies with in the energy field of the solar plexus, and that the liver meridian is the meridian that runs through the genitals. So I add energy to the solar plexus, which in turn increases the amount of energy running through the liver meridian. The liver meridian runs through the genitals which therefore adds energy to this region, and then my libido goes through the roof. This led me to sort out the role of the kidneys in the sex drive as everything I've read states that they play a role too. Everything I've read also states that the kidneys never have an excess condition. This leads me to believe that you don't get an excess of kidney energy which leads to a high libido. Also I believe the kidneys play a different role in the sex drive than the liver. To me it seems that the kidneys are in charage of producing the fluids, and making sure everything down there works properly, while the liver is more related to the drive and desire aspect of it. In regards to the heart/shen issues, I think I have reached an understanding of this too. The liver's wood, feeds the heart's fire. If the energy level of the liver is increased, suddenly you have more wood stoking the fire of the heart, causing "heart fire" symptoms. As far as the liver's own attirbutes, it feels to me that a healthy liver is kind of like the notorious "alpha male".. very confident, generous, ect.. while a weak liver is the opposite of the alpha male, desperate, bitter, timid ect.. Of course these are also attributes of the solar plexus chakra as well, which shows how the liver and solar plexus are very closely related. In regards to my practice and working on this area, all I can say is that its been quite difficult, yet pretty important. I'm using the inner smile and healing sounds for the liver to get rid of all these negative attributes like desperation, depression, non-assertiveness, and to replace them with confidence, assertiveness, and generosity.

More babbeling by Matthew to follow..... The theme of the day yesterday was Liver. Probably out of all the organs, the I'd have to say the Liver is the most closely related to the solar plexus. The Liver being the "General" is very status conscious. The Liver meridian also runs through the groin area, so I'm curious about how it relates to sex drive as well. (considering its relationship with the solar plexus, and how my sex drive seems to go up while working with the solar plexus). Also I felt kind of emotionally moody yesterday, so I drank some of that liver detox tea, and felt better pretty quickly from that... interesting. Otherwise it just seems that a lot of the characteristics associated with the solar plexus (assertiveness, power, decision making, planning, self-esteem, ect..) are also associated with the liver. I'm curious to explore this more. *edit: found this interesting and relevant to today's topic. http://lieske.com/channels/5e-liver.htm

Ok so I went out and got Oyster shell yesterday, along with a few other things, and am feeling a bit better today. I also have had an insight into a few things. I know some people here have been baffeled that I would complain about a strong sex drive as a problem, and now in retrospect I realize that my libido in and of itself is not a problem. What has actually been the problem has been a Shen disturbance which most commonly manifests itself in my case as hypersexuality, or almost being possesed by sex, and disturbed thinking. When one does not understand this distinction, all they think is that I feel very horney and very "not good" at the same time, and they come to associate the two as one. How is this related to the solar plexus chakra, or any chakra? I am not sure, but what I have noticed is that when I work on the solar plexus chakra that this has a tendency to flare up, though at this point I am not really sure what the connection may be, if there be any connection at all. For all of those out there who enjoy a healthy and normal sexual life, I can understand how someone complaining of such things would seem unusual. And I must specify that I do not always feel this way, but there are times when I do, and they are very miserable. The best way to describe it other than calling it a Shen disturbance, is its a total obsessive compulsive preocupation sex, and in addition the longer these episodes go, the more bizzare the thinking about sex becomes. This can be quite torturous, and most unpleasant. Fortunately the oyster shell helped quite a bit yesterday, and since oyster shell is a classic treatment for certain kinds of Shen issues, and since I took oyster shell and felt better, this further reinforces my notion that these sexually tortuous epsisodes are Shen disturbance. So I guess now I can clarify that I have nothing against sex, sex drive, or anything like that. What I have been complaining about all this time has actually been a Shen disturbance, and I just didn't know what it was. Naturally when I came to this realization I wanted to understand where this disturbance originated, and though this might seem like a bit of a streach I believe it has its origins in the second world war, allow me to explain. My grandfather fought in WWII from Normandy all the way to Germany. He was in the Battle of the Bulge and used to tell me stories about what he experienced. Though the term was not used back then I believe he suffered from PTSD, as he became an abusive alcoholic, and would beat my father when he was a child, sometimes for no reason what so ever, other than he was drunk. My father in turn abused me severely when I was a child, most likely because he himself had been abused and messed up by his father when he was a child. The long term abuse of anyone can cause problems, but especially a child who is not at all prepared to deal with such things. So from the TMC side of the house I think that my grandfathers Shen got severely disturbed in WWII, he in turn messed up my father's Shen, who in turn messed up mine. The only link I can see with the solar plexus (I've noticed this flares up when I work on the solar plexus) is the power issues associated with it. What do I believe threw off my father's Shen? the total loss of power he felt when my grandfather beat him. What threw off my Shen? the same thing. Where are feelings of power centered? the solar plexus chakra. I've noticed in general that when I work on anything, be it an organ, chakra, or what ever, that what ever issues and emotions that are associated area tend to come to the surface as I work on them. In this case the very issue that I believe has caused my Shen to have problems has been coming to the surface, and thus exasorbating this problem. On a positive note though, I've also noticed that once I get through the rough part of working on a problem area, that I do feel much better, so I look foward to finally getting through this solar plexus stuff, and hopefully feeling much better on the other side of it.

I've noticed another pattern that seems to come up when I work on my solar plexus, though I'm not sure why, though I do have a theory. I've noticed that everytime I work on my solar plexus chakra that I tend to suffer a lot of the symptoms of a shen disturbance. A lot of my symptoms are those of excessive heart fire, and/or phlegm. Now I'm not sure why this happens when I try to work on my solar plexus, but I've wondered if it could be the result of the solar plexus being of the fire element, and the heart being fire too. Does perhaps the excess fire from the solar plexus while working on it, cause issues for my heart? or is it simply the junk in the solar plexus coming out and me being more aware of it? or a combination of the two? This happened to me last late summer/early fall, and fortunately then I found calcium made of oyster shell with bamboo in it, both of which are good for shen distrurbances. So off I go to get more of that. Anyone with a good knowledge of TCM would be appreciated as far as input goes.

Hey Creation, your explination about that girl and her upper dan tien makes a lot of sense. Prior to doing the crown draw, I had either been drawing it to a point lower, or going all the way up and around to the lower dan tien. Your insight into the 2nd chakra makes a lot of sense, so I a way it might seem that many chakras play a role in sexuality, but for me the issues of the second chakra were not a problem, but rather the third chakra issues were. Yesterday my brother and I went to a sports bar to watch the Spurs play. While there I began to realize just how much the whole "status" aspect of the third chakra impacted my views on sexuality and relationships as I looked about at the pretty girls and observed my own reactions and feelings about them. I think a lot of guys, and people in general associate sexuality with status and such things. Nevertheless it just showed me that I am working on the right chakra. Also I have noticed that as I begin to work on a chakra that things I may have not noticed before, I become aware of (such as my own feelings at the sports bar). In the past I would not have realized such feelings were coming from within myself, so I guess that in and of itself is indicitive of progress.... recognizing the problem better.

Thanks Gerard very interesting and informative

Ok sounds like you understand . Actually very specifically related to the issues of libido and feelings about it.... I discovered more connection between the solar plexus and kidneys/adrenals today. Ok yes working on my solar plexus has made my sex drive go up, but I think more precicsely its the solar plexus' effect upon my kidneys. Today the first of the the day at least my libido was through the roof and that was about all I could focus on, it was totally consuming. Additionally this brought up a lot of negative feelings about this, and some negative mental/emotional patterns connected to such issues as well. After doing some more research and focusing with in as well, what I think I discovered was that the added energy to my solar plexus (among other things) is having a cleansing effect upon my kidney meridian, as I found today that a lot of my negative attitudes towards sexuality are actually to be found in my kidneys, as well as issues to the sex drive itself. As I had mentioned earlier there seems to be a definate connection between the solar plexus and kidneys (among other things) due to the common denominator of the adernals. Fortunately yesterday I had purchased a chinese herbal combination for the kidney meridian/adrenal glands. This so far seems to be helping a lot, as well as the kidney inner smile/healing sound. As I think I have mentioned in the past, often times when I first begin to work on something it appears to actually get worse at first, as I believe this is a "healing crisis". But in conclusion basically all that babeling I did was pretty much to say that I found a lot of my negative attitudes towards sex in my kidneys, and am currently working upon this area, for that reason. I'll keep ya'll posted.

Well I guess if I'm going to get very specific, its not a high libido in and of itself that bothers me, but its the stupid crap that it makes me feel like doing that bothers me. Hope that makes more sense.