Maddie

Hmmmm very insightful.... *ponder ponder

Ok yes I have heard that before.

I hope it does not happen too often lol, I wanted the girl, not this haha. I've heard the "my students always get divorced" somewhere, but where is that from?

I agree with being your real self, but what I experienced yesterday went beyond that, it was a totally different experience. It was as though I came in contact with the Universe, the fabric of existence itself, and it showed me what a farce our so called free will is lol.

Ok yesterday I had the most unusual/sureal experience ever (at least in the dating/relationship realm). It started off with me sending a lot of chi in my MCO to my crown chakra to help me "transmit" a request to the Universe (some might call it prayer, but due to bad church experiences I don't refer to it as this). I sent the message that I wanted this particular girl who had kind of dissed me to be interested again. Then I got this distinct impression from the Universe that if I set my intention this way for this that it most certainly would work, BUT (there is always a but) it would alter my life path and that I would not acheive the highest spiritual potential that I would otherwise in this life. Naturally at first I would have none of this, cause I like this girl and was going through all this trouble because I wanted her. Then a funny thing happened, she emailed me that I should call her and poked me on facebook, though she had ignored me for several days. Then I had this sort of mental vision of two line graphs in my mind. The first line graph showed my spiritual progress with this girl, and it went down rapidly, the second showed my spiritual progress with out her, and it soared. So after telling myself I was an idoit I told the Universe to "call it off" that I would not seek to have this girl in my path. After that I replyed to the email that she suddenly sent me, and guess what... so far have not gotten any response. It would seem that as soon as I told the Universe to call it off, she got really cold again. This naturally caused me to think more about this topic, and about all the other girls that it didn't seem to work out with, and suddenly I saw it on a different plane than I had before. What if it didn't work out with those girls for the same reason that I have begun to look at totally hot babes and just not "feel it", perhaps its because they are simply not on my path, they are not part of my Tao??

In that case I'm well on my way lol

That pretty much sums up my practice. It seems if I try to get anymore involved than that it just gets too complicated.

Hey Astral I think your advice was excellent and very insightful. You seemed to point out to me several things that I do, that now that you mentioned them I realize I do, but didn't previously. I think I need to shut up more too lol, as it seems that most people in general (women included) just are simply not intersted in qigong/taoism. Other than this forum, it seems that when I bring up this topic, just about no one is interested. I guess this also goes with what you said about giving advice. I tend to do that ALOT!! Now that I think about it, I sense their feelings change rapidly when the advice starts coming out. I mean well, and want to help, and thing qigong is the most awesome thing there is and one of the best ways to deal with problems, but now that you mention it, I guess I might come off as sounding like a nosey, pompous, know it all lol. I really want to help, but I guess it does not come off that way. I also notice that a lot of people that complain about personal issues don't really want to deal with them, but rather just like the sympathy that comes from stating their issues, or the excuse they think it gives them to be the way they are. But I like your ranting and raving, its has been very insightful lol. Hey Otis , yes I have that exact same feeling a lot, that women see me as an odd ball, and they don't really know how to look at me. I've had several women tell me that they thought I was weird for not being interested in porn lol. What I think of as being well adjusted, they look at as being odd, go figure lol. And I actually had a girl last week tell me that I was the most bizzare guy she had ever met simply because I was not desperately trying to get into her pants, even though I had just met her. Again what I thought of as a virtue she looked at as being weird. I think you are correct that taoism helps to weed out people who I would not really find interesting in the long run anyways. Oh one more thing that I realized that I should probablly really stop doing. I've noticed that the longer I do qigong, and the more clear I get my channels, the easier it is for me to read the energy of other people, especially emotional energy. This has happened to me many many times... I meet a girl, we start talking, and as we talk I begin to tell her all this stuff about her. She looks really suprised and freaked out and asks me how I know all this stuff. I tell her that I guess a side effect of doing qigong is that I just tend to know what people near me are feeling emotionally. Then they begin to feel very uncomfortable, and thats often the last I see of them. I suppose they either feel this is a violation of their privacy, or that most people enjoy being able to put up their mask in public, and don't really like someone to know who they really are. Nevertheless I guess I should stop letting girls know that I pretty much already know what they are really feeling, as that seems to be pretty effective in chasing them off, even if things had been going well up to that point. I do wonder though why it is that most people do not seem to have much interest in qigong, as I find it facinating?

How does one increase self love?

I have noticed as others were pointing out that the so called "dating rules" do seem to work, as I have used them before and they were effective, well effective if you wanted a girl to like you while you are totally not acting natural and yourself. So while I know this works at least on the surface level, I decided that I don't like playing these stupid immature and childish games. If someone is going to like me I want them to like me as I act completely myself, and not some facade I put on. I read a book one time that said the heart chakra had two archetypes. The lover and the actor. It occured to me that while I was using these dating rules I was so much of an actor, and thus not getting in touch with my heart energy myself, and not letting anyone else really get in touch with my true heart also. So I'd rather have "less sucess" and find someone authentic, than meets lots of people in a superficial way. As far as the other question, yes I do want to meet someone badly, but its because I want it so badly that this worries me. I have spent the last few days working exclusively on my heart, doing the heart inner smile and healing sound to get all those bad feelings in regards to a relationship out, and to increase positive loving heart energy. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I want someone, but I don't want to want someone too badly, if that makes sense. I had contemplated that perhaps I should back off on sharing all the info about qigong and taoism, but then I realized that while it may seem to be a turn off to a lot of women, I would be selling myself short to not share such a significant part of my life with who ever I seek to have a close relationship with. I just wish the process was not quite so painful.

Latest topic I've noticed is that I can meet a girl and things seem to be going really well at first, and then after about a week or so she seems to just suddenly loose intrest and disappear. I am not doing anything really obviously stupid as far as I can tell. About the only thing I have noticed that I might be able to call a pattern is that as we get to know eachother a little, I naturally start talking about Qigong and Taoism, and these are people I think would be receptive to it because they indicate an interest in spirituality, or yoga, or natural/chinese medicine or something along those lines. But then it seems like just about every time I see their eyes glaze over and they suddenly don't seem to have any more interest in talking to me. Now I wonder why? I mean since this stuff is a major part of what I do and who I am, I'm not going to pretend like I'm not into it just to charm a girl, so what gives? Anyone else run into this before?

Ok I had a very interesting and different experience today. I was at the natural food/health store and saw this really pretty slender blonde filling out an application. My first instinct was to go up to her and make conversation because she was hot. So I go up there comment about how she is filling out her application, and she responds very nice smile. Suddenly as she is talking to me this "flash" of insight or realization or what ever you want to call it comes to me in an instant, and it went something like this.... (I tried to visualize me and her going out, and the oddest thing happened, I realized that though she was very pretty, that I felt no attraction to her). Now this might just seem like one of those things to some, but to me it was quite a drastic shift in my whole way of looking at these things. Previously I had assumed that physical beauty equalled attraction; that is if she looks good thus I'm attracted. But in this case I knew she was hot, but for reasons that I still can not quite fathom I just didn't see us together, and didn't really want to make any more effort to pick her up. Apparently she felt (or didn't feel) the same way because after that we both just sort of went about our business. So this got me to thinking, "what is/causes attraction anyways?". I just came to realize that its not just looks (though I'm not trying to say that looks don't matter, cause there is no way I'm going to be attracted to a girl who is ugly or super fat). But in this case she was very pretty, and yet I still felt nothing for her, and it was freaking me out. So it got me to pondering "what is it that makes us feel or not feel attraction to another?". I'm guessing it probably has something to do with energy, chi, essense, ect... but specifically what I don't know.

Stepping out again to meet people has been a very interesting experience qigong wise. It has led me through a lot of various emotional and mental reactions that I was not aware were there as I had not had to face this situation since I began practicing qigong. It would seem that I've had to deal with some sort of negative reaction in just about every organ so far, many of these attitudes and reactions going back to when I was in high school. I've had to overcome fear and attitudes about sexuality in my kidneys, ego in the liver, self esteeem and boundries in the lungs, love issues in the heart, and now it would seem that its my spleens turn. Now I have to deal with the obessive thinking, worry, pensiveness, and rejection/acceptance issues that all realate to this organ. This has been very challenging for the past several days as my appetite is all messsed up, as well as my bowl movments (maybe more info than you needed lol). In a lot of ways going over these issues again feels like I am still a high school kid. You know when you sit by the phone and wring your hands wondering when she'll call, if she still likes you, what she thinks about you, wanting to be accepted really bad. Well obviously this does not feel good, so it has shown me that I have yet a lot of work to do there. In general though I've noticed that when I think I have an organ all clean and clear, (which may be the case as far as one issues goes) and new scenario will come along and uncover a lot more junk in that organ that I was totally unawre of. So back to work I go on my spleen now. Another thing I've noticed when detoxing old unhealthy energy patterns from organs is that the memories and feelings from the time that the inbalance was created (which can be a long time ago) seem to return in a very strong way. Its as though it was stuck there all along, and now that its being released its like BAM you feel it all again. That same ackward high school kid seems to have been dormant in there all this time, its weird. I remember someone mentioning that having a clear and healthy spleen was important in the dating world, and I can definately agree with that. If your pensive and ackward that is a big turn off, and plus you don't have any fun either. On the other hand if your very comfortable with yourself, then others naturally will be too. Of course having all the organs balanced is important .

When he says to swallow air, what he is talking about is visualizing swallowing air because this is a means of leading chi. Obviously one can not really swallow air all the way down to their scrotum, but one can visualize this. What happens here is first you visualize swallowing air down to your solar plexus. The solar plexus is where the fire chi of the middle burnner is. Next you swallow this down to your lower dan tien where your water chi is kept in the lower burner. After fire and water balance eachother you have a potent chi mixture, which you then swallow down to your scrotum which is then used by your genitles to make them healthy.

The way I avoid getting sick chi on me (and I did used to have this problem) is that I draw in good chi through my feet while similtaneously projecting it out my palms. This way there is a constant one way flow from me to them and then out through them to the universe so that neither me nor they get sick chi stuck on us.

Another cool thing about qigong when it comes to your social life (and not just your social life, but life in general) is that if you are doing something wrong I think it helps you to be objective with yourself and recognize it pretty fast in order that you can make changes. I've been noticing this pattern lately that I'll meet a girl, things go well at first, and then they just sort of drop off the radar. Naturally I was pondering this as I tend to do, and realized first that I was making the HUGE mistake in dating of getting too excited about it all too fast. What I mean by that isn't that I was trying to get in their pants quickly, but that I would think "oh this is a cool chick" and then start feeling too attached too fast, which of course comes off as kind of clingy/needy/insecure, because it is (this is the painful part of qigong, it helps you to be very honest with yourself). So being a qigong person I didn't just think "oh that sucks" but rather I began to ponder my energy and try to figure out what it is that is causing me to have this type of relationship killing reaction. Well it didn't take too long to figure out that this issue lies in the middle dan tien area. In the middle dan tien area lie the heart and lungs. The lungs deal with boundries which in this case can mean either not putting up with a girl's crap, or smothering them i.e. calling, texting, emailing, wanting to see each other too much too soon. The heart of course is about love, and so when I asked myself why I'm reacting this way, I felt that if one is acting needy, then its because they have a "need". In pondering what my need was it became pretty obvoius farily quickly that my need was love. The problem here is that if you want a relationship to share your love with someone else, this is a good relationship, and girls feel this too. If you want a relationship because you want and need love from someone else to feel good about yourself this is not healthy and girls pick up on this too, and rather quickly. So now that I have come to this realization I believe that the thing to do is to not just beat my head against a wall, or quit trying. The thing to do is to bring into balance the energetic condition that is causing this problem, so that it will no longer be a problem. This means that I am going to put a lot of focus in my qigong practice into working on my heart, lungs, and middle dantien/heart chakra in regards to this issue. Due to the fact that pretty much every other time when I identify a problem and begin to work on it with qigong I get the results I want, I have no reason to expect that I should not get results in this case as well. If a vacume of love in my heart is my problem, then I need to fill my own heart with love, and not try to get it from someone else ;-)

Hey Astral I read what you wrote and think I can relate and understand. It sounds like to me that you may seem to think that we are EITHER sexual/animal/physical OR spiritual. I think its important to remember that we are BOTH and that we should not divorce the two from each other.

Yup

Haha thats funny cause last night I went out on a date with this really smart and pretty girl :-), but after a while she said "how and why do you seem to know exactely what I'm feeling when ever I feel it?" lol ,and I replied "I think qigong makes one more sensitive to such things" haha. And yes the longer I do qigong the more comfortable I am with women. As a teen I was very socially ackward, but qigong has done volumes to balance me emotionally in all regards.

Great advice, couldn't have said it better myself ;-)

Yea I suppose if you feel that things have gotten out of control and you want to "reset" then that might be a good reason to do so, BUT I would highly suggest that while doing so that you do emotion balancing practices for a couple reasons. First of all since emotions play such a large part in sexuality it is vital to work on them, PLUS it would be an excellent time to do so because you will have a large supply of excess energy that you can use for such healing, as this kind of healing uses a great amount of energy to do. This will also help the reset process be more thourough and deep. The main method I use for this is the inner smile and healing sounds to connect to the trapped emotions in my organs and detox them. Best of luck

I recently finished 100 days of celebacy. With that being said I suppose the first question would be, why do you want to do it? The next thing I would say is the retention with masturbation method is not the way to go for this, (this coming from someone who has tried many of the various techniques). If you really want to do the 100 days of celebacy its important that you don't just retain, but you sublimate as well. There are various ways to do this such as sitting in full lotus quite a while daily. Or doing testicle breathing / cool draw. But stimulating yourself will just cause the amount of sexual fluids and testosterone to increase to atomic levels. I do use this method, but not for long term celebacy, but rather to control the frequency of ejaculation, so that I don't over do it and thus deplete my pre-natal jing. But back to the origianl question? what is the reason you want to do such a thing?? What I learned after doing my 100 days is that for what I was doing it for it was probably not really necessary. My main issue was guilt and shame about sexuality; and working on that has brought me far more progress than 100 days of celebacy which I did mainly because my guilt level about sex was unbalanced.

Hey Lomistick I'm sorry for your dilema. I think you have already gotten some good advice, and you had mentioned that you have tried a lot of techniques with out much sucess. I agree alot with John's statement that it does seem that a large part of your dilmea is emotional i.e. the guilt and shame aspect. By clearing such emotions out of your channels, organs, and chakras, you can feel much better about doing what nature has designed you to do. As far as the other side effects and problems you mentioned, you might want to go see a good acupuncturist, who can help get your energy flow back on track, as it does seem to be problematic.

I'd add to what was just said by also saying that attracting women is not hard, I don't care how you look (ever see a hot babe with a fat slob? I sure have, many times) What can be difficult though is feeling good about one's self ;-)