Maddie

Yup

Haha thats funny cause last night I went out on a date with this really smart and pretty girl :-), but after a while she said "how and why do you seem to know exactely what I'm feeling when ever I feel it?" lol ,and I replied "I think qigong makes one more sensitive to such things" haha. And yes the longer I do qigong the more comfortable I am with women. As a teen I was very socially ackward, but qigong has done volumes to balance me emotionally in all regards.

Great advice, couldn't have said it better myself ;-)

Yea I suppose if you feel that things have gotten out of control and you want to "reset" then that might be a good reason to do so, BUT I would highly suggest that while doing so that you do emotion balancing practices for a couple reasons. First of all since emotions play such a large part in sexuality it is vital to work on them, PLUS it would be an excellent time to do so because you will have a large supply of excess energy that you can use for such healing, as this kind of healing uses a great amount of energy to do. This will also help the reset process be more thourough and deep. The main method I use for this is the inner smile and healing sounds to connect to the trapped emotions in my organs and detox them. Best of luck

I recently finished 100 days of celebacy. With that being said I suppose the first question would be, why do you want to do it? The next thing I would say is the retention with masturbation method is not the way to go for this, (this coming from someone who has tried many of the various techniques). If you really want to do the 100 days of celebacy its important that you don't just retain, but you sublimate as well. There are various ways to do this such as sitting in full lotus quite a while daily. Or doing testicle breathing / cool draw. But stimulating yourself will just cause the amount of sexual fluids and testosterone to increase to atomic levels. I do use this method, but not for long term celebacy, but rather to control the frequency of ejaculation, so that I don't over do it and thus deplete my pre-natal jing. But back to the origianl question? what is the reason you want to do such a thing?? What I learned after doing my 100 days is that for what I was doing it for it was probably not really necessary. My main issue was guilt and shame about sexuality; and working on that has brought me far more progress than 100 days of celebacy which I did mainly because my guilt level about sex was unbalanced.

Hey Lomistick I'm sorry for your dilema. I think you have already gotten some good advice, and you had mentioned that you have tried a lot of techniques with out much sucess. I agree alot with John's statement that it does seem that a large part of your dilmea is emotional i.e. the guilt and shame aspect. By clearing such emotions out of your channels, organs, and chakras, you can feel much better about doing what nature has designed you to do. As far as the other side effects and problems you mentioned, you might want to go see a good acupuncturist, who can help get your energy flow back on track, as it does seem to be problematic.

I'd add to what was just said by also saying that attracting women is not hard, I don't care how you look (ever see a hot babe with a fat slob? I sure have, many times) What can be difficult though is feeling good about one's self ;-)

Several ways.... MCO is a great way. Meditating upon a specific chakra and breathing into it, and visuallizing it is also good. Another technique is to take one hand and rotate it counter clockwise over a chakra, and then take the other hand and rotate it clockwise, this has the effect of first pulling out bad energy, and then putting in good energy. Some other methods I use are various gemstones that resonate with a particular chakra, as well as essential oils. Also flower essences and homeopathy can be helpfull here too, as they act upon your energy. There are also certain yoga asanas that are suppose to incluence various chakras. But probably my favored way to influence chakras is to do it indirectly via the organs they are connected with, as this just seems to come most naturally to me. For example lets say I wanted to work on my sacral chakra. Chakras a very subtle part of our energy body, to me more hard to access. Our organs are more gross and I believe easier to work with. The sacral chakra connects with the kidneys (both of them are related to the water element) and are at about the same level in the body. So I might do the kidney healing sound, and inner smile, and as the kidney is connected to the sacral chakra, bladder, genetials, and bones, it has a beneficial effect on all of them. At least this is how I best get results.

I like this topic as it is something I have pondered quite a bit as well. I do both, such as externally the 8 brocades, and internally work on the five organs, and MCO. Ideally I try to do both equally, though this does not always happen depending on what I feel my greatest needs are at the time. For example this week I have not done a whole lot of the brocades, but focused more on the inner smile/colors/elemetns for the organs as I feel that my greatest challenge has been more emotional. Yet another week for example I might feel pretty neutral emotionally, but physically feel very stiff, fidgety, ect... so I would put more emphasis on the brocades. Even then though, when I do the brocades I tend to combine them with the healing sounds to deepen their effect. I have experimented with doing the brocades when my cheif issue was emotional, and what my observation has been is that it does help to settle me emotionally, but in a more surface way, and that if I want to make deeper longer lasting progress internal meditation takes me further.

From everything I understand you can not increase the amount of pre-natal jing, but you can conserve what you do have, and try to use as much of your post-natal jing as possible, rather than tap into pre-natal jing.

I'm going to agree with you about the spleen, and go further still. As I have been working on this topic I have come to see as was mentioned earlier in this thread that it would seem that since sexuality is a multi-dimensonal thing, so are its energetic manefestations. I was in fact working on my spleen meridian/earth element yesterday for some of the very reasons you mentioned above. Two days ago I was working on my kidney merdian/water element for the same goal, just different aspect. The day before that it was the heart, before that the lungs, last night the liver. The point being that sex has many aspects, and there for you can find an aspect of it in just about every part of yourself. These have been my findings so far.... The heart tends to relate to the emotional bonding aspect of sexuality, such things as love, like, affection, passion, excitment. I've also noticed that when my heart gets out of balance that I tend to feel like an over excited lap dog (the kind that like to dry hump every leg they see) which is actually a very uncomfortable feeling because it feels like someone just injected you with crack lol. The kidneys tend to be all about raw sexaul energy. They generate and store jing, the testicles are called the external kidneys which procude testosterone which affects libido. The adrenals are also considered part of the kidney's domain, and have a regulatory effect on libdo too. On the negative side since the kidneys govern fear/stress/nervousness, I've noticed that when my kidneys are out of balance then I find it more difficult to approach women cause for one I'm more nervous, and two they pick up on this nervousness and its a turn off. The lungs rule that part of us that wants to intrinsicly feel good about ourselves, and plus as the lungs govern the skin, they enjoy tactile sensation. I've noticed that often if I want a woman because I'm feeling lonely or am not feeling good about myself (which are horrible reasons to seek a woman) then my lungs are not in balance, as they have a lot to do with self esteem. The spleen as mentioned above contains the earth element, so naturally women like men who come off as "grounded". Also the spleen rules clear thinking, and of course when meeting and talking to women its good to keep your head on your shoulders and not become a babbeling idiot lol. A well balanced spleen causes one to feel very comfortable with themselves, and how can you expect others to feel comfortable with you if you are not even comfortable with yourself? An out of balance spleen will make you feel worried and pensive, so insteado of just going up to the lady and saying hi, you fret from across the room "should I? no I can't, but maybe I should? what should I say? I hope she does not reject me? .... blah blah blah" A balanced spleen will "just do it" kind of like nike. The liver in its balanced and proper state rules assertiveness and male arousal. Basically if you want get the girl you gota be assertive. The unbalanced liver can go a couple directions. It can either lack assertiveness, or it can go from assertive to aggressive, and now you are just coming off creepy, or just trying to pick up the girl to prove to your ego that you can. As to charaks, same thing goes as sexuality again has many levels. I've found this about chakras in my experience... The root is about raw physical attraction, as in you simply want to get laid / feel good. The sacral is still all about attraction but more emotional, kind of like how women approach things more. The solar plexus is about ego, so if that is well balanced it will make your life with women much better. The heart chakra is about love, which is vital to have when you make "love" to someone. If we do too much of the casual sex, pick up thing, our heart chakra suffers. The throat chakra is naturally about communication. Try picking up women if you can't communicate well with them. The brow chakra/third eye helps you to see who this woman is beyond her skin. I think this is what was happening to me lately as I find myself just knowning that certain pretty girls are just not for me. The crown chakra is about spirituality, and its just as important to be spiritually compatible with a lass as it is physically, emitionally, and mentally.

Perhaps your have a point, though I was not really on TTB's in 2009 I know that MY energetic vibe about such things was worse back then lol, guess thats why I've been doing all this qigong with that topic one of my main focuses. I look at it this way, as long as our channels are open and flowing life should come pretty easily. Its only when it does not that we know there is a problem and usually that problem is with in us, so that is where I do most of my work. I'm just happy that though the results are slower than I'd like, that I am getting them nevertheless.

Hey Cat I was pondering this topic a lot more and thought that its probably not just one or the other, but really both together. As I was meditating and working on my heart and kidneys I realized that more of the love and alturistic attraction resided in the heart naturally, but the kidneys as the generator and storehouse of jing and sexuality also deal with attraction on another more physical level (I suppose this would correlate to the heart and sacral chakras of the indian yoga system). But I think both levels of attraction are important for a relationship to be good. Interestingly enough I was doing the kidney inner smile and healing sound yesterday and accessed a lot of "junk" that felt like nervousness, stress, ect... I realized that my feelings and reactions to the more physical aspects of love and intimacy actually were quite a stress reaction more than enjoyment and this had been creating a lot of difficulty for me in this regard. I was quite supprised at how much junk came out yesterday as I worked on my kidneys, and at how unplesant it felt as this was happening. Though I can say that today I feel much "lighter" and feel as though its easier to breath, so that is interesting. I had never really thought to work on my kidneys in relation to this topic before but I'm glad I did now. I used to focus primarily on my heart and lungs. Heart for the love aspect, and lungs cause I would feel kind of sad about the way my love life was going lol. Yet as much work as I put into those organs, and while it did help, it still felt as though there was something I was not getting. Now that I worked on my kidneys in relation to the topic of intimacy I feel as though something that had been causing me a lot of problems for a long time has been removed :-). This Qigong stuff is interesting, it seems that you learn more and more about yourself the longer you do it, even after you think something isn't an issue for you anymore.

what if its somewhere in between? lol

Oh there was no resistance at all, in fact I was fully planning on getting her number. And then as I was there doing a little flirting this realization just hit me on the head out of the blue, and I realized that though she was very pretty that I guess she was just not my "type" or something cause I had no desire for her. The funny thing is ... used to I would think I felt desire for just about any woman I thought was attractive, but as I continued my qigong practice I came to realize this was actually more ego than true attraction, as in can I conquer this? But it would seem that as I have done my work on ego issues that I guess I don't ask myself the subconscious question of "can I get her" but now its more like "do I really like her? / can I really see myself with her?" I guess its kind of a subtle yet drastic shift in perspective. And actually as I was out and about today the exact same thing happened to me again. I saw another very pretty blonde on a bench, and I was initially thinking "oh nice, pretty girl" and then a splt second later I just "knew" she was pretty, but I did not feel drawn to her. weird I know

I agree, in regards to the other thing you said about spiritual attraction, I agree with that as well, but was curious about the actual mechanics of it, as in which meridians, chakras, ect. are involved in this (the heart I would guess, but even if so, what is it about this that would cause people to be or not be attracted to eachother?)

wow that was like the exact same thing that hit me the other day when I was getting frustrated about all this. Additionally it occurd to me that my job is to get my own energy in order so that when the universe does swing my way in this area I am ready for it.

When I was stationed in Germany my wife practically didn't want to go out in public with out me due to all the perverts that appraoched her. Back in the states this never happens to her (plus she gained a lot of weight since then too). Also in Germany is the only time this happened to me, I was using the toilet at the train station at night and some dude walked up to the stall next to me and started jacking himself, which has never happened to me here. Germans are some kinky peeps, though I did love that country.

This thread comes at an interesting time for me in regards of the heart, as this is what I happend to be working on extensively lately. For the past couple years I have been working on various aspects of myself, the various Zang Fu organs, meridians, chakras, ect.. but I now feel that in a way all of that was preliminary to working on my heart which seems to be core to so many of my other issues I have dealt with.

I think you just said what both of our dilemas are, that what draws our heart and libido are not necessarily the same thing. I believe this again shows the diconnect between two parts of ourselves that need connection. Penny, I agree with what you said about the heart vs the mind, yet even then sometimes its still complicated. In my case for example I do not feel any great connection with my wife, yet I love my children more than anything. So on one hand my heart does not feel connected to my wife, but also could not stand hurting my children, or not being there for them like I'd want to....

Oh if you think that is what I'm still trying to do you misunderstood, actually I am doing the opposite now, and realizing that sex is a normal healthy part of life, and that what I really felt uncomfortable with was loveless sex.

No, I kind of have to be my own therapist because I can not afford to go to one, in fact it was largely due to my lack of insurance that got me into Qigong in the first place, though it does seem to be working.