Maddie

Hey Astral I think your advice was excellent and very insightful. You seemed to point out to me several things that I do, that now that you mentioned them I realize I do, but didn't previously. I think I need to shut up more too lol, as it seems that most people in general (women included) just are simply not intersted in qigong/taoism. Other than this forum, it seems that when I bring up this topic, just about no one is interested. I guess this also goes with what you said about giving advice. I tend to do that ALOT!! Now that I think about it, I sense their feelings change rapidly when the advice starts coming out. I mean well, and want to help, and thing qigong is the most awesome thing there is and one of the best ways to deal with problems, but now that you mention it, I guess I might come off as sounding like a nosey, pompous, know it all lol. I really want to help, but I guess it does not come off that way. I also notice that a lot of people that complain about personal issues don't really want to deal with them, but rather just like the sympathy that comes from stating their issues, or the excuse they think it gives them to be the way they are. But I like your ranting and raving, its has been very insightful lol. Hey Otis , yes I have that exact same feeling a lot, that women see me as an odd ball, and they don't really know how to look at me. I've had several women tell me that they thought I was weird for not being interested in porn lol. What I think of as being well adjusted, they look at as being odd, go figure lol. And I actually had a girl last week tell me that I was the most bizzare guy she had ever met simply because I was not desperately trying to get into her pants, even though I had just met her. Again what I thought of as a virtue she looked at as being weird. I think you are correct that taoism helps to weed out people who I would not really find interesting in the long run anyways. Oh one more thing that I realized that I should probablly really stop doing. I've noticed that the longer I do qigong, and the more clear I get my channels, the easier it is for me to read the energy of other people, especially emotional energy. This has happened to me many many times... I meet a girl, we start talking, and as we talk I begin to tell her all this stuff about her. She looks really suprised and freaked out and asks me how I know all this stuff. I tell her that I guess a side effect of doing qigong is that I just tend to know what people near me are feeling emotionally. Then they begin to feel very uncomfortable, and thats often the last I see of them. I suppose they either feel this is a violation of their privacy, or that most people enjoy being able to put up their mask in public, and don't really like someone to know who they really are. Nevertheless I guess I should stop letting girls know that I pretty much already know what they are really feeling, as that seems to be pretty effective in chasing them off, even if things had been going well up to that point. I do wonder though why it is that most people do not seem to have much interest in qigong, as I find it facinating?

How does one increase self love?

I have noticed as others were pointing out that the so called "dating rules" do seem to work, as I have used them before and they were effective, well effective if you wanted a girl to like you while you are totally not acting natural and yourself. So while I know this works at least on the surface level, I decided that I don't like playing these stupid immature and childish games. If someone is going to like me I want them to like me as I act completely myself, and not some facade I put on. I read a book one time that said the heart chakra had two archetypes. The lover and the actor. It occured to me that while I was using these dating rules I was so much of an actor, and thus not getting in touch with my heart energy myself, and not letting anyone else really get in touch with my true heart also. So I'd rather have "less sucess" and find someone authentic, than meets lots of people in a superficial way. As far as the other question, yes I do want to meet someone badly, but its because I want it so badly that this worries me. I have spent the last few days working exclusively on my heart, doing the heart inner smile and healing sound to get all those bad feelings in regards to a relationship out, and to increase positive loving heart energy. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I want someone, but I don't want to want someone too badly, if that makes sense. I had contemplated that perhaps I should back off on sharing all the info about qigong and taoism, but then I realized that while it may seem to be a turn off to a lot of women, I would be selling myself short to not share such a significant part of my life with who ever I seek to have a close relationship with. I just wish the process was not quite so painful.

Latest topic I've noticed is that I can meet a girl and things seem to be going really well at first, and then after about a week or so she seems to just suddenly loose intrest and disappear. I am not doing anything really obviously stupid as far as I can tell. About the only thing I have noticed that I might be able to call a pattern is that as we get to know eachother a little, I naturally start talking about Qigong and Taoism, and these are people I think would be receptive to it because they indicate an interest in spirituality, or yoga, or natural/chinese medicine or something along those lines. But then it seems like just about every time I see their eyes glaze over and they suddenly don't seem to have any more interest in talking to me. Now I wonder why? I mean since this stuff is a major part of what I do and who I am, I'm not going to pretend like I'm not into it just to charm a girl, so what gives? Anyone else run into this before?

Ok I had a very interesting and different experience today. I was at the natural food/health store and saw this really pretty slender blonde filling out an application. My first instinct was to go up to her and make conversation because she was hot. So I go up there comment about how she is filling out her application, and she responds very nice smile. Suddenly as she is talking to me this "flash" of insight or realization or what ever you want to call it comes to me in an instant, and it went something like this.... (I tried to visualize me and her going out, and the oddest thing happened, I realized that though she was very pretty, that I felt no attraction to her). Now this might just seem like one of those things to some, but to me it was quite a drastic shift in my whole way of looking at these things. Previously I had assumed that physical beauty equalled attraction; that is if she looks good thus I'm attracted. But in this case I knew she was hot, but for reasons that I still can not quite fathom I just didn't see us together, and didn't really want to make any more effort to pick her up. Apparently she felt (or didn't feel) the same way because after that we both just sort of went about our business. So this got me to thinking, "what is/causes attraction anyways?". I just came to realize that its not just looks (though I'm not trying to say that looks don't matter, cause there is no way I'm going to be attracted to a girl who is ugly or super fat). But in this case she was very pretty, and yet I still felt nothing for her, and it was freaking me out. So it got me to pondering "what is it that makes us feel or not feel attraction to another?". I'm guessing it probably has something to do with energy, chi, essense, ect... but specifically what I don't know.

Stepping out again to meet people has been a very interesting experience qigong wise. It has led me through a lot of various emotional and mental reactions that I was not aware were there as I had not had to face this situation since I began practicing qigong. It would seem that I've had to deal with some sort of negative reaction in just about every organ so far, many of these attitudes and reactions going back to when I was in high school. I've had to overcome fear and attitudes about sexuality in my kidneys, ego in the liver, self esteeem and boundries in the lungs, love issues in the heart, and now it would seem that its my spleens turn. Now I have to deal with the obessive thinking, worry, pensiveness, and rejection/acceptance issues that all realate to this organ. This has been very challenging for the past several days as my appetite is all messsed up, as well as my bowl movments (maybe more info than you needed lol). In a lot of ways going over these issues again feels like I am still a high school kid. You know when you sit by the phone and wring your hands wondering when she'll call, if she still likes you, what she thinks about you, wanting to be accepted really bad. Well obviously this does not feel good, so it has shown me that I have yet a lot of work to do there. In general though I've noticed that when I think I have an organ all clean and clear, (which may be the case as far as one issues goes) and new scenario will come along and uncover a lot more junk in that organ that I was totally unawre of. So back to work I go on my spleen now. Another thing I've noticed when detoxing old unhealthy energy patterns from organs is that the memories and feelings from the time that the inbalance was created (which can be a long time ago) seem to return in a very strong way. Its as though it was stuck there all along, and now that its being released its like BAM you feel it all again. That same ackward high school kid seems to have been dormant in there all this time, its weird. I remember someone mentioning that having a clear and healthy spleen was important in the dating world, and I can definately agree with that. If your pensive and ackward that is a big turn off, and plus you don't have any fun either. On the other hand if your very comfortable with yourself, then others naturally will be too. Of course having all the organs balanced is important .

When he says to swallow air, what he is talking about is visualizing swallowing air because this is a means of leading chi. Obviously one can not really swallow air all the way down to their scrotum, but one can visualize this. What happens here is first you visualize swallowing air down to your solar plexus. The solar plexus is where the fire chi of the middle burnner is. Next you swallow this down to your lower dan tien where your water chi is kept in the lower burner. After fire and water balance eachother you have a potent chi mixture, which you then swallow down to your scrotum which is then used by your genitles to make them healthy.

The way I avoid getting sick chi on me (and I did used to have this problem) is that I draw in good chi through my feet while similtaneously projecting it out my palms. This way there is a constant one way flow from me to them and then out through them to the universe so that neither me nor they get sick chi stuck on us.

Another cool thing about qigong when it comes to your social life (and not just your social life, but life in general) is that if you are doing something wrong I think it helps you to be objective with yourself and recognize it pretty fast in order that you can make changes. I've been noticing this pattern lately that I'll meet a girl, things go well at first, and then they just sort of drop off the radar. Naturally I was pondering this as I tend to do, and realized first that I was making the HUGE mistake in dating of getting too excited about it all too fast. What I mean by that isn't that I was trying to get in their pants quickly, but that I would think "oh this is a cool chick" and then start feeling too attached too fast, which of course comes off as kind of clingy/needy/insecure, because it is (this is the painful part of qigong, it helps you to be very honest with yourself). So being a qigong person I didn't just think "oh that sucks" but rather I began to ponder my energy and try to figure out what it is that is causing me to have this type of relationship killing reaction. Well it didn't take too long to figure out that this issue lies in the middle dan tien area. In the middle dan tien area lie the heart and lungs. The lungs deal with boundries which in this case can mean either not putting up with a girl's crap, or smothering them i.e. calling, texting, emailing, wanting to see each other too much too soon. The heart of course is about love, and so when I asked myself why I'm reacting this way, I felt that if one is acting needy, then its because they have a "need". In pondering what my need was it became pretty obvoius farily quickly that my need was love. The problem here is that if you want a relationship to share your love with someone else, this is a good relationship, and girls feel this too. If you want a relationship because you want and need love from someone else to feel good about yourself this is not healthy and girls pick up on this too, and rather quickly. So now that I have come to this realization I believe that the thing to do is to not just beat my head against a wall, or quit trying. The thing to do is to bring into balance the energetic condition that is causing this problem, so that it will no longer be a problem. This means that I am going to put a lot of focus in my qigong practice into working on my heart, lungs, and middle dantien/heart chakra in regards to this issue. Due to the fact that pretty much every other time when I identify a problem and begin to work on it with qigong I get the results I want, I have no reason to expect that I should not get results in this case as well. If a vacume of love in my heart is my problem, then I need to fill my own heart with love, and not try to get it from someone else ;-)

Hey Astral I read what you wrote and think I can relate and understand. It sounds like to me that you may seem to think that we are EITHER sexual/animal/physical OR spiritual. I think its important to remember that we are BOTH and that we should not divorce the two from each other.

Yup

Haha thats funny cause last night I went out on a date with this really smart and pretty girl :-), but after a while she said "how and why do you seem to know exactely what I'm feeling when ever I feel it?" lol ,and I replied "I think qigong makes one more sensitive to such things" haha. And yes the longer I do qigong the more comfortable I am with women. As a teen I was very socially ackward, but qigong has done volumes to balance me emotionally in all regards.

Great advice, couldn't have said it better myself ;-)

Yea I suppose if you feel that things have gotten out of control and you want to "reset" then that might be a good reason to do so, BUT I would highly suggest that while doing so that you do emotion balancing practices for a couple reasons. First of all since emotions play such a large part in sexuality it is vital to work on them, PLUS it would be an excellent time to do so because you will have a large supply of excess energy that you can use for such healing, as this kind of healing uses a great amount of energy to do. This will also help the reset process be more thourough and deep. The main method I use for this is the inner smile and healing sounds to connect to the trapped emotions in my organs and detox them. Best of luck

I recently finished 100 days of celebacy. With that being said I suppose the first question would be, why do you want to do it? The next thing I would say is the retention with masturbation method is not the way to go for this, (this coming from someone who has tried many of the various techniques). If you really want to do the 100 days of celebacy its important that you don't just retain, but you sublimate as well. There are various ways to do this such as sitting in full lotus quite a while daily. Or doing testicle breathing / cool draw. But stimulating yourself will just cause the amount of sexual fluids and testosterone to increase to atomic levels. I do use this method, but not for long term celebacy, but rather to control the frequency of ejaculation, so that I don't over do it and thus deplete my pre-natal jing. But back to the origianl question? what is the reason you want to do such a thing?? What I learned after doing my 100 days is that for what I was doing it for it was probably not really necessary. My main issue was guilt and shame about sexuality; and working on that has brought me far more progress than 100 days of celebacy which I did mainly because my guilt level about sex was unbalanced.

Hey Lomistick I'm sorry for your dilema. I think you have already gotten some good advice, and you had mentioned that you have tried a lot of techniques with out much sucess. I agree alot with John's statement that it does seem that a large part of your dilmea is emotional i.e. the guilt and shame aspect. By clearing such emotions out of your channels, organs, and chakras, you can feel much better about doing what nature has designed you to do. As far as the other side effects and problems you mentioned, you might want to go see a good acupuncturist, who can help get your energy flow back on track, as it does seem to be problematic.

I'd add to what was just said by also saying that attracting women is not hard, I don't care how you look (ever see a hot babe with a fat slob? I sure have, many times) What can be difficult though is feeling good about one's self ;-)

Several ways.... MCO is a great way. Meditating upon a specific chakra and breathing into it, and visuallizing it is also good. Another technique is to take one hand and rotate it counter clockwise over a chakra, and then take the other hand and rotate it clockwise, this has the effect of first pulling out bad energy, and then putting in good energy. Some other methods I use are various gemstones that resonate with a particular chakra, as well as essential oils. Also flower essences and homeopathy can be helpfull here too, as they act upon your energy. There are also certain yoga asanas that are suppose to incluence various chakras. But probably my favored way to influence chakras is to do it indirectly via the organs they are connected with, as this just seems to come most naturally to me. For example lets say I wanted to work on my sacral chakra. Chakras a very subtle part of our energy body, to me more hard to access. Our organs are more gross and I believe easier to work with. The sacral chakra connects with the kidneys (both of them are related to the water element) and are at about the same level in the body. So I might do the kidney healing sound, and inner smile, and as the kidney is connected to the sacral chakra, bladder, genetials, and bones, it has a beneficial effect on all of them. At least this is how I best get results.

I like this topic as it is something I have pondered quite a bit as well. I do both, such as externally the 8 brocades, and internally work on the five organs, and MCO. Ideally I try to do both equally, though this does not always happen depending on what I feel my greatest needs are at the time. For example this week I have not done a whole lot of the brocades, but focused more on the inner smile/colors/elemetns for the organs as I feel that my greatest challenge has been more emotional. Yet another week for example I might feel pretty neutral emotionally, but physically feel very stiff, fidgety, ect... so I would put more emphasis on the brocades. Even then though, when I do the brocades I tend to combine them with the healing sounds to deepen their effect. I have experimented with doing the brocades when my cheif issue was emotional, and what my observation has been is that it does help to settle me emotionally, but in a more surface way, and that if I want to make deeper longer lasting progress internal meditation takes me further.

From everything I understand you can not increase the amount of pre-natal jing, but you can conserve what you do have, and try to use as much of your post-natal jing as possible, rather than tap into pre-natal jing.

I'm going to agree with you about the spleen, and go further still. As I have been working on this topic I have come to see as was mentioned earlier in this thread that it would seem that since sexuality is a multi-dimensonal thing, so are its energetic manefestations. I was in fact working on my spleen meridian/earth element yesterday for some of the very reasons you mentioned above. Two days ago I was working on my kidney merdian/water element for the same goal, just different aspect. The day before that it was the heart, before that the lungs, last night the liver. The point being that sex has many aspects, and there for you can find an aspect of it in just about every part of yourself. These have been my findings so far.... The heart tends to relate to the emotional bonding aspect of sexuality, such things as love, like, affection, passion, excitment. I've also noticed that when my heart gets out of balance that I tend to feel like an over excited lap dog (the kind that like to dry hump every leg they see) which is actually a very uncomfortable feeling because it feels like someone just injected you with crack lol. The kidneys tend to be all about raw sexaul energy. They generate and store jing, the testicles are called the external kidneys which procude testosterone which affects libido. The adrenals are also considered part of the kidney's domain, and have a regulatory effect on libdo too. On the negative side since the kidneys govern fear/stress/nervousness, I've noticed that when my kidneys are out of balance then I find it more difficult to approach women cause for one I'm more nervous, and two they pick up on this nervousness and its a turn off. The lungs rule that part of us that wants to intrinsicly feel good about ourselves, and plus as the lungs govern the skin, they enjoy tactile sensation. I've noticed that often if I want a woman because I'm feeling lonely or am not feeling good about myself (which are horrible reasons to seek a woman) then my lungs are not in balance, as they have a lot to do with self esteem. The spleen as mentioned above contains the earth element, so naturally women like men who come off as "grounded". Also the spleen rules clear thinking, and of course when meeting and talking to women its good to keep your head on your shoulders and not become a babbeling idiot lol. A well balanced spleen causes one to feel very comfortable with themselves, and how can you expect others to feel comfortable with you if you are not even comfortable with yourself? An out of balance spleen will make you feel worried and pensive, so insteado of just going up to the lady and saying hi, you fret from across the room "should I? no I can't, but maybe I should? what should I say? I hope she does not reject me? .... blah blah blah" A balanced spleen will "just do it" kind of like nike. The liver in its balanced and proper state rules assertiveness and male arousal. Basically if you want get the girl you gota be assertive. The unbalanced liver can go a couple directions. It can either lack assertiveness, or it can go from assertive to aggressive, and now you are just coming off creepy, or just trying to pick up the girl to prove to your ego that you can. As to charaks, same thing goes as sexuality again has many levels. I've found this about chakras in my experience... The root is about raw physical attraction, as in you simply want to get laid / feel good. The sacral is still all about attraction but more emotional, kind of like how women approach things more. The solar plexus is about ego, so if that is well balanced it will make your life with women much better. The heart chakra is about love, which is vital to have when you make "love" to someone. If we do too much of the casual sex, pick up thing, our heart chakra suffers. The throat chakra is naturally about communication. Try picking up women if you can't communicate well with them. The brow chakra/third eye helps you to see who this woman is beyond her skin. I think this is what was happening to me lately as I find myself just knowning that certain pretty girls are just not for me. The crown chakra is about spirituality, and its just as important to be spiritually compatible with a lass as it is physically, emitionally, and mentally.

Perhaps your have a point, though I was not really on TTB's in 2009 I know that MY energetic vibe about such things was worse back then lol, guess thats why I've been doing all this qigong with that topic one of my main focuses. I look at it this way, as long as our channels are open and flowing life should come pretty easily. Its only when it does not that we know there is a problem and usually that problem is with in us, so that is where I do most of my work. I'm just happy that though the results are slower than I'd like, that I am getting them nevertheless.