Maddie

Ok life is weird lol, so last night I finally processed all my wife's PMS anger and went to bed feeling pretty good. Only problem is I went to bed next to the living nuclear bomb of PMS energy, so all night I was aborbing this. So I wake up in the morning and am like "RAWWWRRRRR!!!!" boy am I pissed, and for no reason what so ever, I mean come on I just woke up. So we get up and I'm pissed and I can tell shes pissed and between us this angry energy is just bouncing off of eachother like a resonace chamber, it sucked. So I got in full lotus for a while and while it helped it seems that I have been getting faster results in full lotus if I want to convert sexual fluds into energy. This on the other hand took far longer. So then its time to run errands so we get in the car, and I'm still pissed, but since we are driving to and fro I can't get into full lotus, so I instead opt to do the liver healing sound and inner smile to the liver. This also helps slowly to a degree, but it took a lot of time and effort. But what is really unusual (as I observed yesterday in the car when I concentrated all her anger energy into my dan tien) it seems like the longer I'm transforming the anger I feel, the more calm down she becomes. I suppose it wasn't really my own anger, but I was just feeling and processing hers then? Finally I got to the point where I feel pretty calmed down, and I look over and she's finally chilling now too. So all seems ok for now, but I dread the next time she goes to her sister, cause her sister is one of those people who is always mad at someone or about something (come to think of it, most of her family is mad a lot) and when she gets around them for too long then she gets all pissed for a while too. Not sure if its related but her family are all fundamentalist christians, and some of the most negative, judgemental, angry, unspiritual people I've ever known.

Well the Dali Lama is considered to be a Buddah, and in an interview he said that he does not have any recolection of his past life.

---So if you move the energy to your lower tan tien -- using reverse breathing -- this works but the energy still has to be transformed from a lower emotional blockage into a higher frequency as harmonized energy.--- Ok ding ding ding, the pieces of the puzzle just came together and the lights came on. As I said when I was driving and could not do full lotus I safely stored her anger energy in my dan tien, but what I did not realize was that it was just STORED not transformed. So then the mystery of why I felt so MAD when I was alone later on... I suppose as the energy in my dan tien began to work its way into my MCO naturally, and because it had not been transformed at that point, then BOOM I had her stored anger energy circulating throughout my system. Only when I got into full lotus and felt like I was on a merry-go-round did the energy TRANSFORM and poof no longer angry.

Yea I have noticed I tend to feel more froggy on full moons. So I just finished sitting in full lotus for as long as I could, and it felt like this tidal wave of energy rushed up to my head and made me really dizzy, it was good I was already sitting. It felt as though the room was spinning, very odd, but on the plus though, I feel way more calm and not angry, weird... I had sort of a similar experience one time. I was in line at the grocery store minding my own business. Then out of the blue I feel this intence anger / hate burning the back of my neck. So I turn around and there is this guy I don't know behind me just glarring at me, for what I have no clue. So I just got in the most subtle karate stance I could, just in case lol. But yea that was odd. But yea the full lotus seems to be a cure for many ailments eh? Not sure why I got so dizzy though? but I sure feel better, even when other things didn't help very much. About the other thing you mentioned. So will a perv try to get you angry in order to feed off the energy? I guess I should beware of that then?

Don't mean to ramble, but I thought perhaps if I gave a little background it might clarify things a bit. So I've been doing either half or full lotus a few times a day for about a week now, with the origianl goal of burning off sex fluids as for it to not be a problem for my peace of mind. It has been working wonderfully for that, so that is great. Today I woke up and felt pretty normal as far as I could tell, but my wife has been PMS'ing for a couple days and was REALLY difficult today, i.e. screaming at me for no good reason at all. So needless to say that could make anyone get pissed being yelled at for nothing. But I experimented with a few things today. First thing, she starts yelling and screaming and talking crap to me for no reason, cause shes all PMS'ed out. So obviously that makes me pissed so I go to the back yard and start doing the inner smile and healing sounds, which help calm me down. Then I go back inside... So I go back inside and the nagging and yelling continue so I got pissed, but I don't like getting pissed and loosing my peace of mind, so I tried getting into full lotus while she was gnawing on me. Amazingly when I got into full lotus her nagging and yelling didn't bother me. Then we got in the car cause I had to bring her somewhere, and she is silent, but I can feel her anger in the car very strongly, even though she is saying nothing. Now what this starts to do in me, is cause me to feel angry as well, but since I'm in the car driving and can't get into a lotus position, I start Lower Dan Tien Breathing and I felt my Dan Tien absorbing this energy and storing it in what I presume was a more neutral form, because I felt less angry again, AND she seems to cool off as well. So then we get home and I'm sitting there for a while and now she is not doing anything to me, but now I'm starting to feel increasingly angry, pissed, irritable and for the life of me can not figure out why, which is where I am now. Now I don't know for sure but I'm trying to go by my intuition and figure out what might have been going on, on an energetic level. So here goes. I suspect that she began to feel angry because due to it being PMS season, a lot of blood is being removed from her liver to go to her uterus. In TCM women whos liver blood and or yin is not strong get angry when the extra blood the liver stores goes to the uterus since blood and yin are very closely realted. So what remains is an over abundance of liver yang relative to the blood loss. So the excess liver yang produces anger. Now since chi creates electromagnectic fields, I'm guessing that since the electromagnectic field of her liver is full of angry energy, with me being in proximity to her, her liver field was resonating with my liver field (since like seeks like) thus making me feel angry. So then I go off by myself and bring my liver back into balance, but then as soon as I'm around her again her liver field begins to resonate with mine again, and I'm back to square one. Now since Liver yang rising is an expansive condition then as her liver is sending off extra energy, it might resonate with my liver, but if I put this energy into my dan tien which is better able to store energy, I guess it is better able to handle this, plus this storing action removes some of her exess liver yang from her field which may explain why she seemed to calm down after I stored her excess energy in my dan tien. So that is my theory at least. What really baffles me now is why I am feeling more angry now, even though she is not expressing anger at me, and she is not even present now (she went to see friends). Is it just left over damage from earlier? or now is it unrelated to her at all, and something going on with my recent lotus sitting practice?

So then about the liver opening up..... does that make you feel really angry / irritable while that is happening? Cause I've been feeling pissed almost all day, but even when there isn't really a good reason for it.???

Yea I lived in Fairbanks for 8 years. Alaska is definately a different world, its not uncommon there for people to live in dry cabins with no running water, and some with out electricity. I had several friends when I was at the University up there who did that. Now I'm back in the lower 48 and feel so clausterphobic with all these people and civilization everywhere lol.

I thought it was facinating. I like to use flower essences and they are supposed to operate on the same principle that water can hold an energy pattern.

I guess I'd suggest smiling to your kidneys and doing the kidney healing sound (chooo or choreee) since fear is the emotion of the kidneys / bladder meridian. Breath in widsom, willpower, and gentelness to your kidneys and breath out fear.

Thats interesting, as I just moved from Alaska. There the Eskimos consider it bad luck to be around females before they go whale hunting, but my professors and myself just thought it was an old superstition, very interesting to have an explination that makes sense. I assume that sending females energy long distance takes some time and practice eh? When I have physical relations I do energy exchange between me and her, but I don't know how to do it with out physical intimate contact. Perhaps the best I can hope for at the moment is that full lotus will at least help me to not go insane ha ha :-P

So how do you convert the emotions of the organs such as anger into wisdom, and sadness into courage ect...?? Do you keep sitting in full lotus until the jing fills up and then it happens on its own? run the MCO? Emotional balance is an issue that has been problematic for me for a long time. Especially when my wife is PMS'ing like she is right now. Now I realize that a PMS'ing woman could possibly even drive a Buddha insane, but is there anyway to lessen emotional reactions to difficult people and to not let it get to you as much? One practice I do for this is the inner smile and healing sounds as taught by Chia, and they seem to help a bit. So like if a PMS'ing woman is pissing me off, it takes a bit of the edge off to smile to my liver and do the shhhh sound, breathing out anger and breathing in kindness ect... but I was hoping to accomplish a more permanate balance on a deeper level. Still loving the answers, thanks a million. :-)

Drew continuing thanks for all your wonderful answers to my questions. I got another one. Based upon my limited understanding of the heart, heart center, heart chakra, middle dan tien (I'm not sure how connected or not they all are) I think I'm beginning to have issues with this area now, with the associated emotions ect... Thoughts?

gosh I re-read that and yup it kind of does lol

Is being very sensitive to other people's energy / emotional state a third eye issue or something eles, because I am extremely sensitve to other peoples emotions, and I wish I knew a way to shield myself somehow because I don't like it.

Yea that reminds me of one time a couple years ago. I came to visit this jujitsu school, but it was one of those "tough guy MMA" types of jujitsu schools. So anyways I show up and generally people are being friendly in their exagerated tough guy way. This one guy comes up and introduces himself and we shake hands. Then he says "what kind of hand shake is that, shake my hand like a man" and I'm thinking "????". So appearantly I had to squeeze his hand the the proper amount of PSI before the needle on his "man-o-meter" went "ding" and then "a good time was had by all".

Something new today. I had this sudden intence bout of horniness come over me, so I got into full lotus to deal with it, and I got really hot, and felt a lot of pressure in my head. Wonder why???

As far as methods go yes acupuncture is one of many, others that I use specifically for the Liver are the Inner Smile and Healing sounds. Below is Mantak Chia's version of the inner smile, you can do all the organs, or if you are wanting to focus on one you can do just that as well. http://kheper.net/topics/meditation/inner_smile.htm The healing sounds http://www.universal-tao.com/article/smile.html

Yes that is what I'm talking about lol sorry for the confusion. Well technically the Liver from the Taoist / TCM perspective deals with planning, and its paired Yang organ the Gallbladder deals with decision making, but since the Liver and Gallbladder are paired I just sort of lumped them together. But additionally since you mentioned assertiveness as well, that is also considered a balanced attribute of the Liver, as well as kindness, and anger. In acupuncture being easily angered or depressed (anger turned inward) is a reslut (often) of Liver chi stagnation, which is a very common pattern in the West. Check this out it will tell you a bit about this .... http://www.wingmakers.co.nz/Nature_Meridian.html http://www.fivespirits.com/hun.php http://www.heavenearthchineseherbs.com/chinese-medicine-liver-and-gall-bladder-organ-system-disharmonies-symptoms-oID-9.html?zenid=8q0ef8ppq0lltucmqjcstbfjg4 http://www.itmonline.org/5organs/liver.htm

My grandfater was a WWII vet, infantry on the front lines, tones of medals including a bronze star for valor in cambat, he was in Normandy, across France, Hurtigen forest, Battle of the Bulge, across Germany, ect... So what was he like? He was one of the meanest sons of a bitches I've ever known. He was a chain smoking alcoholic, bigoted racist, hated everyone thing and everyone. My father said when he was a boy, my grandfater would come home super late every night drunk as a skunk and beat the crap out of him for no reason at all. Of course this screwed up my father, who is a total arse, and then my father abused me when I was little, which is a lot of the reason I got into Qigong in the first place, in order to heal that damage which really is just second hand abuse from my messed up Grandfathter. Of course I loved listening to my grandfater tell war stories when I was little, as almost every boy does, and I'm sure its why my focus during University in histroy was upon WWII, but our family line sure suffered because of it. After my parents got divorced, my mom went out a couple times with this ex speical forces guy who was in Vietnam. One time they were at a picnic and a helecoptor flew over and he dove under the table and low crawled across the ground. He could not sleep laying down, or with his feet covered because in the jungle he always had to sleep propped up against a tree because the VC were in the area. When I was in the Army I was deployed to Bosnia right after their civil war ended with IFOR in 1996. Granted Bosnia for the US Military was realtively tame on the war scale. Yet there were land mines everywhere, you always had to be aware of where you went so you didn't go boom. A few guys got killed by mines. A couple times we were put on alert at our base because of possible terroist attack, and your thinking "oh crap I might have to shoot someone in a second, or be shot at". So when I got back to Germany where we were stationed it took me a while to be able to walk on grass and leave the sidewalk due to paranoia of mines. I would also wake up in the middle of the night groping for my weapon (which we did not keep by us in Germany) because I'd have a dream that a Bosnian militia group was over running our permemter. Now keep in mind Bosnia was a very tame experience and it still had a small effect on me for a little while. I can only imagine what a real war would do to someone.

I've noticed an interesting sensation... For a little over a week now I have been doing sitting meditation in the lotus and half lotus, getting good results, but I have noticed something... All my life I have had somewhat of a duck walk with my feet going out to the sides. Now sitting in either the lotus or half lotus position (being generally uncomfortable as it is anyhow) seems to be the most uncomfortable for me in my hip ball and socket joint, especially on the top part of it. When I get out of the sitting position its very sore and stiff and I sort of hobble around like a grandpa for a while, but I also notice that my feet are starting to walk more straight due to it and less of a duck walk. Since my main motivation for doing the lotus position was to over come lustfull thoughts and compulsions, and since I believe a lot of these come from sacral chakra blockages, and since I think that the hips are related to the sacral chakra, I'm pondering if perhaps all this might be somehow connected.... Does a sacral charka balance result not only in the lustfull thoughts and feelings, but the duck walk and the stiff hip joint? I have always had a problem in Karate making my side kick high. I can kick high with other kicks, but I always get in trouble with side kicks, because I might intend to aim for the abdomen in sparring, but usually end up nailing my oppenent in the nuts unfortunately :-(. So anyways not to get off topic, but just wondering how much or not this might be interconnected?

I know this was not the point of your post, but what exactely does the middle dan tien do? As I am aware the lower stores energy, and the upper is related to consciouncess, thought and perception. I just heard vaguely once that the middle dan tien has something to do with emotions, and I've also heart it compared to the heart chakra, but in reality I don't know what it does?

Isn't passitivity / assertiveness and decision making and planning the domain of the Liver? If so, I would suppose that troubles with these issues might be aided by working with the Liver and its meridian.

http://www.meditationexpert.com/yoga-kung-fu/y_microcosmic_circulations_and_playing_with_your_qi.htm I have been reading a lot from this website lately (MeditationExpert.com) and its been really interesting, I think he is a Zen guy. Just a couple things he has said have confused me though. He sort of poo poos the MCO in this article saying that it will happen automatically on its own if you practice emptiness meditation, and does not recommend trying to do it. He also said that Taoism is lower level cultivation. Of course I read master Alex Anatoles book "The Truth of Tao" (tao.org) and he sort of poo poos Buddhism for this and that reason. Interestingly enough, master Anatole does not seem to do the MCO either, but emptiness meditation instead. hmmmmm. Any thoughts?

Oh a couple other things I forgot to mention. I've also been attempting the MCO but can't seem to get the chi to rise past the sacrum??? Also the full lotus is great for reducing desire as you stated, but does it also make .. er. "mr. happy" smaller?

Hey Drew I've been loving your advice, and am grateful for it. I got a couple other questions. Is half lotus still beneficial even if less so? because I can do that quite a bit longer than a full lotus. Also what about standing meditation? Can that do the same thing, or is it different? I had tried doing it for a few months because I heard all the ranting and raving about it, but I don't know, maybe I was doing something wrong, but I found that when I got up to about 15 min of standing in the "hold the ball" position that afterwards I would be more emotionally agitated, irritable, ect.. Not sure why, but I stopped it because of that. I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on that, as well as in regard to half lotus. Thanks